To the End of this World

Disclaimer: If I owned Doctor Who, I wouldn't still work for my A-levels, I'd have bought them and would spend my days on the couch.

*A/N* I've only watched most of Nine, about half of Ten and all of Eleven, so I stuck with their companions because he really screwed them all up, right? And they are the ones I know, but everyone else is there, just not mentioned by name.

My dearest friends,

I think you know we had the best of times. Maybe I didn't always show it, and maybe I've just lived for too long now and seen too much to always be happy, but I want you to know that it was more than I could have ever hoped for.

You taught me all the things I'm proud of. You gave me the strength to carry on. It was you who showed me the best sides of life, and nobody could ever make me laugh so much.

I've always looked up into the sky, but it was you who made me see the stars.

You broke my hearts and you fixed me, my life would be empty without all those memories, even though they all become painful in the end.

Too many of you were lost in the fire, and I know I broke some of your hearts, too, and I am so very sorry about that. I wish I could save you all, I wish none of you would have ever had to go, I wish I could have kept you all with me.

I know you think I'd forget about you eventually, you believe time would diminish you, but trust me, no matter how many walk through my front doors, you will never be forgotten and in my mind, you will always be shining just that bright.

Forgive me, forgive me, please forgive me. All of you.

Rose. You didn't deserve to be ripped out of this world and the world didn't deserve it, either, because you made it a little bit better. But most of all, forgive me for not finishing that sentence.

Martha. You are wonderful, you have always been and sometimes I just want to tell you it wasn't your fault I didn't see it. You found someone who loves you and admires you the way you deserve it, but that doesn't undo it, right?

Mickey. I know I never treated you all that well, but it was never your fault, I was jealous and I'm sorry.

Donna. Oh Donna. I wish you could see what you'd become, know that you are still a hero on planets whose names you will never even hear. And you must never find out, and, how else could it be, it is my fault.

Amy. Rory. My friends have always been my "family", but what you've given me was a whole new thing. You were family, without speech marks, you were my family and I can't believe I lost you, too.

River. What can I say. You gave your life for me the first time I met you, you forgave me that I ruined your life from beginning to end, and you saved me when you didn't even know me.

Clara. Another one who sacrificed everything, for me. And I don't think you have any Idea how far I would go to make sure you don't become one of those who had to die because of me.

All of you. You were so brave, so much braver than I could ever be. I might have been your hero, but did you ever know that you are mine?

I will love you all, each and every one of you, until my very last breath, to the end of this world and probably to the end of any other (hear me, Rose) and if I had just one wish, I would ask for a chance to tell you that.

Because everytime I leave one of you behind, it hits me that I never told you, and that I missed up on the chance.

I want you to know how much you mean to me.

Because you are all I have.

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