"This is looking like a contest,
Of who can act like they care less,
But I liked it better when you were on my side.
The battle's in your hands now,
But I would lay my armor down
If you said you'd rather love than fight.
So many things that you wished I knew,
But the story of us might be ending soon."

BPOV

I stepped into the silver Volvo, where its warmth and comfort protected me from the harsh cold rain. I buckled myself in and turned to look at my best friend since preschool. "Thanks for giving me a ride home, Edward. Charlie's just been ditching me these days for fishing."

"It's no problem, Bella," he flashed me a smile, "So, what's on the agenda for Edward and Bella's extraordinary daily bucket list?"

At the beginning of high school, Edward and I decided to actually try and make it the best four years of our lives by doing things we've never done before. But, of course, being in this small dreary town of Forks, our options were limited. So, we decided to make daily things extraordinary. Like drying the laundry outside on a rare sunny day, having it suddenly storm, and running out quickly, pulling all the clothes from the line. Or hang out by dressing up and pretending to be a duke and a duchess. Or rolling down the streets at night in a tire, only to bump into a cop car. Or feeding each other cake with blindfolds on.

Simple things done in extraordinary ways. But to me, what made them special was doing it with Edward. He was my partner in crime, best friend, and lover, though I'd never tell him that last part. Everything I've ever done and imagined doing was with him. He was one of those people you can't separate from no matter how hard you tried; we were welded.

"I've decided that we're going to make burritos to eat while we're rolled up in blanket burritos while we watch a movie with no sound and improvise the dialogue."

He laughed, "Sounds like something we need to do."

"Exactly! It's going to be a perfect Friday night!"

"Crazy girl," he said it with a smile in his voice.

"Yeah, but you love me anyway!"

"It's hard not to."

I swear my heart had swelled up so it could burst from my chest. Life without Edward wasn't really living, it was just surviving.

"You're just as lovable. It's kind of a surprise you don't have a girlfriend yet," I teased. A lot of girls at school threw themselves at him, but he never returned their feelings, which meant I got glared at a lot but in the end, I have Edward and they don't.

"Well," he began, "There is this one girl, but I'm way too chicken to let her know so I think I'll just admire her from a distance."

I laughed. "Stalking is kind of frowned upon in society." I never pushed the subject of who he liked though because I don't think I could handle the disappointment. It has never been Edward and his girlfriend, Bella. It was always Edward and his friend-zoned best friend, Bella.

He grinned. "Well, all the more reason why I shouldn't be with her. She deserves a lot better."

I was about to protest, saying that any girl who wins Edward's heart will be the lucky one. But, he changed subjects, "So, when are you getting your truck fixed? Not that I don't like giving you rides, but you never know if I get stranded somewhere and need that atrocious truck of yours to rescue me."

I scoffed, "Excuse you, but that truck and I have a personal bond that you will never reach with me."

He put his hand over his heart, "That's hurtful, Bella. There's only one girl I want and a truck gets in the way."

"Nah, a truck doesn't give me good back rubs."

"You like those huh?"

I nodded. "Anyway, Jacob Black is coming up from the reservation to put a new engine in."

Instantly his fingers clenched around the steering wheel. "Jacob Black? Wasn't he the guy that tried to kiss you at the bonfire last month?" Jacob and Edward had always been bitter rivals, but when it came to me, especially since the bonfire, Edward would automatically get furious.

So, the sudden change of tone told me I had to approach the subject lightly, "Yes...but he was intoxicated, Edward. He never meant to hurt me and we've been family friends for a while." He kept his eyes forward and his jaw was tense. "We talked about it and he apologized. It won't happen again."

"How do you know, Bella? Alcohol is no excuse to treat you like that!"

"He doesn't mean it, Edward!"

"Of course he does! He's been after you for years now! I've noticed that every time I see him around you. Alcohol was his reason to take advantage of you," he sneered. The sweet Edward from before was gone, and I needed to calm him down before it got too far out of hand.

I knew Edward was protective, but he was fuming right now and it terrified me to see him like that. "Edward, nothing's going to happen to me. He's just fixing the truck." We were parked in front of my house now.

"You don't understand. Anyone can tell what he's thinking and he looks at like you like a piece of meat!"

"Edward, you're being so absurd. Even if he does try anything, I can defend myself."

The vein on his temple was throbbing. It happened every time he got stressed, "Just like you did at the bonfire? If I wasn't there to save you, there's no saying what could've happened!"

"I was caught off guard!"

"Bella, you're a fragile girl who can't really fight against him."

"You think too little of me."

"He'll rape you. But then again, you'll probably like it," he spit out.

His bitter words cut through me like a knife and silence followed. We fought a lot but he had never said anything like this to me. The silence was broken by a sharp slap. I removed my now stinging hand and there was a red mark on his left cheek.

"I can't believe you would say that…" Tears threatened to fall, so I jumped out of his car as quickly as possible.

"Bella! Wait!"

I didn't wait. I slammed the door shut and ran to my house.

Upstairs, I threw myself on the bed and let the tears flow.

The days passed. And each day the distance between Edward and I grew farther apart. We avoided each other at all costs, as if one touch meant receiving a deadly disease.

I was forced to see him in my classes, because at the beginning of the year, we wanted to have as many classes together as possible. But, I kept my eyes straight, never giving in to look at him. In hallways, when we would up look up and see each other in our path, I would look down and scramble to the other side. Pathetic, I know.

It killed me to see him. His green eyes had lost their lovely color now.

Lunch was even worse. I knew that every day he sat there with our group of friends and I would've been at his side, but I couldn't risk getting on my knees and begging him to forgive me for my outburst. But I was too stubborn. Too prideful. Instead, I hid away in the library, isolating myself from Edward and my friends.

As I walked home from school in the rain, the same scene ran through my mind.

Getting in his car. Laughing and joking. Planning our bucket list for the day. Him yelling at me. Slapping him. Slamming the door.

There were so many ways that could've gone better. I could've just calmed him down. I could've told him I had no interest in Jacob. I could've told him that he was the only boy that had my heart. God I'm so stupid.

Way to go, Bella. Push the one person that you care about away.

I regretted what I did but I wonder if he was sorry for what he had said.

I didn't want to win this fight. I'd be willing to give surrender if only he'd have me back.

But that's what I don't know. Does he want me back? Is this killing him like it's killing me?

I turned to the side to look on the picture frame on my dresser. It was of Edward and me a couple months ago. He was giving me a piggy back ride, but his eyes were blindfolded, so he had to follow my directions. I claimed this was a trust exercise but he said I'd probably lead us straight into a ditch. My lips were at his ear, formed into a smile and he was laughing that beautiful laugh that I loved so much. Even though, his eyes were covered, I knew they were vivid and bright, full of color and light.

"I miss you, Edward."

EPOV

One month.

It has been one month since I've gotten to hold Bella in my arms again. One month since I got to stare into those sweet brown eyes of hers and hear her enchanting laugh.

I miss her so much. Every second not spent with her was a second wasted.

I've thought about what had happened and beat myself up over it every time. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have said that to her? Bella never did anything to me and yet I exploded at her. I let my jealous possessive side take over and scare away the only girl I'd want to have a future with. She doesn't even want to look at me anymore.

And I don't blame her. I had been a huge jackass to her. Bella was so sweet and innocent; I don't even know where that outburst came from.

Damn Jacob and his advances on my Bella. She could never understand why any guy would want her, she didn't see herself the way I saw her. An intelligent, charming, witty, and beautiful girl. The other guys just saw her as a new chew toy, but she was mine. All mine.

But, not anymore. No, I had hurt her and the way she looked at me after that slap will haunt me for the rest of my life.

I wanted to apologize. And there had been moments when I was close to falling on my knees, groveling and begging her to come back. But whenever I was about to, she turned away from me and run off.

It was a horrible feeling, knowing that you ruined a life-long friendship. I would do anything to have my Bella back, but it seems she doesn't want me anymore.

For a couple days, I tried to forget her, but Bella was everywhere. Everything reminded me of her; everything held a special memory of her. She had become such a huge part of me; I couldn't function right without her. I started to sleep and eat less; I faded away from my family and friends.

One evening, as I was absentmindedly flipping through channels on T.V., someone tapped on my shoulder. For some subconscious reason, I had hoped it was Bella. It was my little sister, Alice.

I braced myself for the constant prodding about Bella, but Alice said something unexpected, "I talked to Bella today..."

"You did? When? I thought she avoided you too."

"She does, but Jasper found her in the back of the library and called me." Alice shook her head sadly, "Edward, she's a wreck. She's sleep deprived and starving. She's just as bad as you."

"No...I don't believe it. She shouldn't be like that! She should be happy and moving on from me. I had hurt her."

"That's the thing Edward! It's hurting you both by staying away from each other! You both need to make up already!"

I stayed still, dejected. "I don't understand."

"Oh my god, Edward, do I need to spell it out for you?! She misses you! She's going through hell this past month! And you both need to get off your lazy asses and make up already!"

My mind tried to process this information, "But, if she misses me, why hasn't she talked to me yet? She's been avoiding me."

"First, she's a girl Edward! In fact, she's very stubborn and prideful! She's not going to approach you and admit that she was wrong unless you do. And second, Bella's avoiding you for the very same reason you're avoiding her. She thinks you hate her now. To top it all off, she's crazy in love with you!"

"She wants me back? She loves me?" I said, getting very excited.

Alice threw her hands up in the air. "Yes, of course she does! You both obviously are in love with each other." She pulled me up to my feet, "Now, go get your girl!"

A slow smile formed on my face; it was the first in weeks. I grabbed Alice and pulled her to me, crushing her in a hug. "Thanks sis."

I got in the Volvo and rushed off to her house. I looked over at the passenger side, missing her presence. Bella had always made car rides so entertaining, from her off key singing to her sleeping in the seat and mumbling my name.

There was this one time, when it was sunny in Forks, and Bella decided that we should have a picnic.

The trunk of my car was popped up.

Bella and I were sitting in it and our feet dangling above the grass. The sky was strikingly blue today, with a few clouds here and there. A warm breeze came through and blew Bella's hair all astray. She looked beautiful as always.

I had told her she was beautiful many times, but she would brush it off, saying that friends don't call friends beautiful. Little did she know I wanted her more than as a friend. I wanted her in every way that she'd let me have her.

There was a picnic basket between us and she was eating grapes. Every once in a while, she'd toss one at my mouth, hoping I'd miss it.

"I'm just saying. Marriage seems kind of restricting, you know? Like I get that you want to be with the love of your life forever, but you don't need a document and ring to show that. It seems unnecessary."

"Well, I think some people just like to make it official. A document and ring shouldn't mean anything. You still get to be with the love of your life."

"I guess, but some people just make it a big deal. I mean with my parents...they thought they were in love and now look what happened.'

I nodded in understanding, "Your parents might have rushed it. They'd only known each other for a few months. With marriage, you need to marry someone you felt like you've known forever now. You understand all their habits and quirks and you still stick with them, you know? You gotta marry your best friend."

She turned and looked at me, her eyes shining and lips curved up in a smile.

"Besides, if you're married, it's kind of hard to divorce your best friend," I finished.

"Listen Edward, you've known me since we were kids and you actually want to mar-"

I cut her off, "I didn't say I wanted to marry you, just that I wouldn't divorce you."

Her cheeks suddenly turn red and the way she quickly changed subjects and ramble on about trivial things tells me something.

You want to marry me. Maybe not today or tomorrow or even soon. But someday, you want to marry me.

I was on her street now. Her father wasn't home so he must be working the night shift. But, I couldn't just ring the doorbell and be like "Hey, can I come in and talk even though we've been avoiding together for the last month?" She'd kick me out for sure.

Suddenly, I remembered the tree by her window. When we were younger, I'd just climb up and knock on her window to freak her out.

I walked to the side of her house and sure enough, there was the tree. A faint light was shining through her window. Maybe she was reading.

I clumsily made my way up the tree, remembering where to put my feet and which branches to grab on to. I hadn't really plan on what to say to her, but I'll do everything I can to make her understand how sorry and horrible I feel. I'll try everything to get my best friend back. But, the battle was in her hands now and I was willing to lay my armor down if she said she'd rather love than fight.

Once I was in direct view of her window, I saw that she wasn't reading, but looking at the scrapbook I had made her last Christmas. It had all our memories in it. From the moment our parents forced us on our first play date to when I gave her a piggy back ride a few months ago. Those were bittersweet memories and it made me cringe to think that our adventures could end soon.

In her hand was a well used tissue. She brought it up to wipe away her tears.

My heart started to crumble into pieces at the sight. I had seen Bella cry a lot before, but knowing I was the reason just made it worse. I wanted to hold in her my arms and make the pain stop.

I put my hand to the window- it's now or never -and knocked. She immediately looked up and her face froze when she saw me. She blinked a few times before making her way to the window. She looked so tired.

She cautiously lifted the window and stepped back, so I could enter.

We just stared at each other, not focusing on anything else. The energy and emotions in the room were tangible. For the first time, I was at a loss of words with my best friend. So many things to say, nowhere to start.

Finally, Bella held out her arms and I came forward, accepting the comfort of her touch.

We held onto each other for a long time. Then she looked at me and I looked at her. Our faces were like magnets, pulling us closer until our lips touched. The kiss was soft and gentle, full of emotion. It said all the things we didn't know how to say.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

Reviews are always nice, so show me some love!

-Alexis