Chapter 8

"What do you mean?" Tony asked. That statement could mean a lot more for Tim than it would mean for other people.

Tim looked at him and then looked at his hand.

"I had a dream. It was a dream, not one I'd made. I couldn't tell. How do you tell what is a dream and what isn't when you don't know?" he asked.

"Uh..."

That was all Tim gave him a chance to say. He looked at his hand again.

"I couldn't tell. She was there in my dream. She blew on my hand. And...and it was like I could see and hear again. I felt like there was something else besides me in the world. I felt...real. I didn't before. How do you bear that, Tony?"

"Bear what?"

"Feeling nothing."

Tony laughed. "I don't feel nothing. I feel a lot of things."

"But I didn't."

Tony sat down. Tim's hand was still in the air. This Tim was still that alien one who seemed not quite connected, but he was better than before.

"I don't know what she did but...but she blew on my hand and I knew again. Not everything, but I can feel! I know what's real and what's not!"

"You really couldn't before?"

"No! It was like...I didn't really exist."

"I know it's not the same, but I felt something kind of like that...when you took the mark off, when you broke that link."

"I had to do that," Tim said.

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did...because I couldn't be sure that you wouldn't have been destroyed along with me. It wasn't even so much about what I saw in your dream. It was that I knew just how much I could be called on to...to do. But you hadn't...and I didn't want you to be destroyed, too."

Tony was sobered by the thought that whatever had happened to Tim might have happened to him as well.

"But now...here I am and I...I know, again...but I don't know how." Tim took a breath and let it out. "But...was that really real or did I just make it up in my head? But if I just made it up, would it matter? Would it really make a difference?"

"Yes," Tony said.

"Why?"

"Because...it's about believing. Maybe that's what it took for you to be okay."

"But I know!"

Tony laughed. "Tim...most of us know something. I realize that you've lived most of your knowing more, but we're not blind and deaf. We know things. If you were really that blocked, then, I can understand why you're so excited now, but really...we know things."

Tim clenched his fist and let it fall to his lap.

"I'm sorry, Tony."

"What for?"

"I'm...really a mess, aren't I."

"You died...or whatever. I think you have license to be...unsettled."

Tim laughed a little.

"I wasn't unsettled. If anyone else had seen me...I'd have been committed. I don't know, Tony. I'm still so... Everything has been building up to this and now...I just don't know how to feel. I should be...happy, I think?"

"Yes, you should. We won!"

"But I still feel...a little lost."

Tony grinned.

"Well, I have the perfect solution."

"What?"

Tony held up his hand for a moment and ran to his movie shelf. He didn't have to search. He knew exactly where it was. He grabbed Road to Bali and held it up.

"Is it over, then?" Tim asked.

"I think so. If you still need a few more days to adjust, that's fine, but you're acting like you, now."

Tim smiled a little. "Like a limp dishrag?"

Tony laughed. "No. You're acting like you. What do you think?"

Tim looked at the DVD for a few seconds and then smiled and nodded.

"Good. I'll put it in. You make some popcorn."

"Okay."

Tim went into the kitchen. He was still a bit unstable, but Tony was relieved that there was no hesitation. Tim was getting back to normal. Slowly, but surely.

Tony wondered if Tim's dream had been real. Tim didn't seem to know, but if it helped him settle down and accept any changes, Tony would go with it. He didn't really care whether Tim was a knower or not. What he wanted was for his friend to feel like himself. If Tim had that, no matter what it had taken, Tony was glad of it.

He put the DVD in and heard the popcorn popping. It made him smile. Something so normal as popcorn and a movie. It was really nice. Something normal in the midst of all the craziness...or at the end of all the craziness.

Was it really the end, though? Tony wasn't sure. For Tim's sake, he hoped so. Tim didn't need to fight with demons or repair reality anymore. It was hard enough knowing that he had done all that already. It just seemed strange to think of it all being over. He didn't blame Tim for being off balance.

"Popcorn's done."

"Great. Bring it in."

Tim came in with a bowl of popcorn.

"Caramel popcorn is better," he said.

Tony laughed.

"Beggars can't be choosers, Probie. Just watch the movie."

They sat down and started it going.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Bob Hope was shouting about the movie not being over...to no avail.

Positively THE END

Tim laughed softly at the words on the screen and looked over. Tony was asleep. Was it really the end? Even Bob Hope and Bing Crosby had done another Road picture much later, without Dorothy Lamour and it was considered a real comedown after the previous six.

Had they had their end yet? Tim figured that he had come close enough to losing everything that he deserved to have it be the end.

...and yet...

He lifted his hand and blew on it gently. It darkened.

He whispered, "Three into one."

The dragons didn't burst off of his hand as they had before.

But they moved. The tattoo on his hand shivered and the dragons skittered around his palm before settling once more as the tattoo faded again.

Was it over?

Maybe, maybe not, but Tim felt that, even without knowing everything, he could face it.

"Thanks, Tony," he said softly.

Tony stirred and smiled without opening his eyes.

"Thanks, Tim."

Tim leaned back against the couch and let his eyes slip closed.

Positively FINIS!

...probably...

The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened.

~James Arthur Baldwin