Meet Hades from the Disney version of the Greek Myth Hercules. He is about to undergo a plan to take over Mount Olympus that will backfire and involve him being stuck in the river of souls for days. This could have been avoided if he had a Sassy Gay Friend.

Hades had finally arrived at the Underworld after the party on Olympus with Pain and Panic in tow, expecting to see the three fates. However when he entered the main room he found Sassy Gay Friend waiting for him.

"What are you doing?" He got up from the black stone ledge and strode over to join the God. "What what what are you doing?"

Cue Sassy Gay Friend's theme as he drapes a sheet around himself like a toga

"Hey SGF! Long time no see, but you see, I've got a meeting with the fates so why don't ya scram, schedule an appointment next time, talk to my secretary, whatcha say," Hades waved his hands gesturing him to leave.

"Hades, are you trying to seize control of Olympus again?" Sassy Gay Friend raised an eyebrow as he turned his head in the direction of the large round table where some figures of the Gods and a few monsters seemed to be arranged in strategically placed positions.

"Whaa this? Pssh," Hades sidled over and flicked some of the figures off the surface, not noticing a gorgon one bounce off Pain's head. "This is just, a little decoration thing I got going on here!"

"Ooh what's the theme?" Sassy Gay Friend bent to the side to take a closer look. Then he frowned as he noticed most of the figures were still surrounding the model Olympus. "You're gonna have to explain it to me because my catalogues don't have the style Grecian Rapture!"

The fiery God faltered slightly at his questioning gaze. "Ok so I may have a little takeover in the works but who doesn't right?" He laughed nervously.

"Well I hate to pretend to hate to break it to you but your previous plans haven't exactly been successful!" Sassy Gay Friend pointed out, picking up a model of the Great Leviathan. "This is ancient Greece not the city of Atlantis!"

"I KNOW!" Hades flared up for a second before recomposing himself. "I know, I'm cool," He ran a hand through his flames. "I just got back from visiting my big bro with his new spawn, little tyke's got a grip like Cerberus when he's latched onto his chew toy, and I was just wondering if the little sunspot was gonna affect my takeover!"

"But if you talk to them and they tell you that this kid is gonna screw it up?" Sassy Gay Friend pointed out. "There's no point in doing this if you know you're gonna be screwed! And not in a good way!" He winked at no one in particular.

Hades looked at him, confused, for a moment before recovering. "Well then I'd know to get rid of the little sunspot so he wouldn't screw it up! Hello, it's called "being prepared!"" He used air quotes.

Sassy Gay Friend was not ready to drop this argument. "But in the process something would happen so not only would it not get rid of him but he would know what you were doing!" He made various circle gestures with his hands as he spoke. "So he'd then stop you and screw the plan up, thus completing the cycle-"

"OK! OK! Jeez stop I get the point…" Hades had erupted again. "All this timey wimey prophecy stuff's making my head spin! Go hang out with Chronos (1.) if you're into that mumbo jumbo, always grated on me, that guy…" He massaged his temples as he seated himself on the cold black throne behind him.

"You know, I never pegged Olympus to be your ideal getaway!" Sassy Gay Friend said conversationally, flipping his salmon scarf over his shoulder, aside from maybe Pain, Panic and Hades' electric blue flames it was the only item of colour in the entire room. "Didn't you say the peach cloud walls gave you a headache?"

"Hey! You should've stopped me trying Bacchus's special wine!" Hades pointed at him, though he didn't sound completely cross.

"No thanks, unlike you when I say I'm flaming I don't mean it literally!" Sassy Gay Friend winked.

"… I fail to see the humour." Hades blinked.

Sassy Gay Friend sat down on a bench next to the God's seat with a serious expression. "Well it looks like I'm the pot and you're the big black kettle 'cause I can't see anything good coming out of this scheme! If you piss off the big cheese, especially since big cheese has nice huge stash of thunderbolts, you'll find yourself spending your evenings trying to pull them out of your butt! And believe me honey, it's not as good as it sounds!"

"Oh please," Hades scoffed. "What's the worst they can do, kill me? Hello, I own death! Ok, I control death! I eat sleep and breathe death! Every day I'm stuck here doing the exact same thing waiting for mortals to drop off while those yutzes are living it up on Olympus!" He threw his hands up in the air.

I mean sure it would be nice to get a little appreciation- I hear they have a whole day in Mexico! And for folks in Egypt, afterlife's a party! They spend hours gettin' ready to go, they even gotta get past intimidatin bouncers- that exclusive!"

Sassy Gay Friend nodded sympathetically. "Hmm mm, it always feels like others have a better deal but you wanna know a secret? They've secretly got tonnes of their own problems!" He leant in. "Did you hear about Zeus's latest mistake?"

"Yeah vaguely, I think it was half human half something else, maybe a bird? Can't wait 'til Hera finds out," Hades snorted. He rubbed his temple in exhausted frustration. "Oy, I need a vacation."

Sassy Gay Friend brightened. "Now that's a great idea! I'm sure one of the other death Gods wouldn't mind taking the workload this once! And it'd do wonders for your complexion!"

Hades brightened, snapping his fingers. "Pain, Panic! Get me Anubis! I'm taking a job sharer!" After snapping his fingers and switching his chiton into tie-dye red, he draped an arm around Sassy Gay Friend, and led him down a corridor, leaving Pain and Panic stumbling to find the contacts scrolls.

"So I was thinking of taking a little trip to Sicily, there's this girl I've got a case of the hots for, Persephone, nice face, you been to her temple there?"

"Ooh that's not really my turf!" Sassy Gay Friend replied. He turned around with a wink. "I'm a stupid bitch!"

End

…Wow. I can't believe it's been that long since this story got an update. (1. Note Chronos, greek god of time is not to be confused with Cronus, father of the gods.)

Anyway next on SGF's list is someone I'd been planning to save until I'd done some of the older villains, but ever since this saga started he's had sooo many requests! Stay tuned if you want to see SGF do his best to teach his new case to… Let it go! (What? Who doesn't love this song?)