THEY SHOOT VAMPIRES, DON'T THEY?

Chapter 13 (unlucky for some!!)

Disclaimer: Kain, Raziel and all things Nosgothian belong to Eidos, Crystal Dynamics, Silicon Knights. Kurt Wagner belongs to Marvel Comics. Devil May Cry and Dante I believe were created for Capcom…anyway they're not mine. I love cameo appearances, don't you? ^_^ Tekken is a creation of Nameco. Lupa and Vladimir belong to me.

Chalcedony Blue: Awww. Kain didn't hurt him that much really! *pats Dante on the head*

Raziel, Kurt and Lupa head out into the Silent Hill Room, Lupa clutching Raziel's arm as they walk along the dark wall.

Raziel: *irritably* Get off, woman. Nosgoth didn't scare you, did it?

Lupa: *whimpers and reluctantly releases her grip* This place is creepy.

Raziel: *feeling like the bad guy* Oh, go on then. Just don't blame me if I have to use that arm for hitting things with.

Kurt: I think I found a clue.

He shoulders up against a nearby door, and a disembodied voice quavers:

Voice: Please don't shout at me again! Honest, this door is jammed and cannot be opened!

Lupa: I think our boy came this way.

They continue, systematically testing doors, until:

Voice: You are now leaving the Silent Hill Room. Welcome to the Devil May Cry Outhouse. And good riddance.

Lupa: *suddenly much more cheerful* Oooh! Dante!!!

Raziel: *suspicious* Who's Dante?

Kurt: *teasing* This old guy Lupa fancies.

Raziel: What?!

Lupa: What? He's not old.

Kurt: He's got white hair.

Lupa: *defensively* It's cute.

Kurt: *aside, to Raziel* He's not cute. He has a demon fixation. Thinks everyone's a demon, trying to kill him.

Lupa abruptly breaks away from the other two and runs towards a crumpled shape on the ground.

Lupa: *bending down* And this time he wasn't wrong! Dante! Are you okay?

Raziel and Kurt follow at a short distance.

Raziel: *nastily* Oh good. I get to meet him.

Dante is sitting up, slowly.

Dante: Ow…I think I fell on my sword….

Raziel: *mock-sympathetic, leaning over him* Did it hurt?

Dante scrabbles to his feet in a hurry.

Dante: Demon!

He turns, and Kurt gives him a grin and a little wave.

Dante: *pointing an accusatory finger* Devil!

Kurt: No, that's the other blue guy from Tekken Tag.

Lupa: It's okay. These guys are with me.

Dante lowers his guns and glowers.

Dante: I don't care for the company you're keeping.

Lupa: Did you see a - uh - vampire come through here? Tall and kinda ugly? Given to saying things like: "I am the mighty Kain. All shall bow before me."?

Dante: He knocked me on my ass.

Raziel sniggers. Dante, infuriated, takes a shot which Raziel dodges.

Raziel: *unperturbed* I've been dodging stake-guns since before you were born, silver-top. I have fought lightning demons and acid demons. You don't scare me.

Lupa: *sensing that this encounter will end badly unless Dante and her blue friends are separated* Dante - which way did he go?

Dante: *indicates a mirror on the far wall* In there.

Lightning abruptly lights up the windows: the mirror flares with activity. Dante draws his sword, and Raziel crouches defensively, the Soul Reaver curling around his arm.

The mirror's surface bends like warm toffee, and Kain bounds out, grinning and landing heavily on the floor.

Lupa: Oh god.

Kain: *slowly and smugly* Look what I got for Christmas, boys and girls.

Dante: *somewhat rashly, raising his guns* This time you're gonna fry….

Kain looks slightly hurt and leans forward into Dante, as if speaking to a small child.

Kain: This is the Mark 4 grenade launcher, designed to take acid, flame, freeze and explosive rounds and cause disaster and destruction wherever it may go. It is not a popgun.

The launcher hangs across his body, seeming disproportionately large in the manner of Playstation guns everywhere.

Lupa: *against all probability, scolding him* Where did you get that? Take it back this minute!

Kain: Let me think. *pauses* Not a chance.

Raziel: Where did you get it, Kain? *small voice* Cos I want one.

Kain: This nice lady gave it to me. She was killing zombies with it. I said, "Hey, can I borrow that? I know an ancient evil that needs killing" and she said "Sure" and gave me extra rounds to go with it, too.

Lupa: *crossly* Jill always was a bubble-head.

Kain activates the laser-sights on the gun.

Kain: *to himself* Yoo-hoo…Moebius….I see you…!

Raziel: *jealous* You're going to shoot Moebius? Oh, please let me have a go!

Dante: Who's Moebius?

Kain: *never missing a trick* A very evil demon. Like Mundus. Only worse. He steals candy from small children, you know.

Raziel: *catching on* And he neglects fluffy kittens shamelessly.

A tear glints in Dante's eye: he draws himself up to his full height.

Dante: He shall die!

Raziel: That's the spirit. C'mon, Kain.

The three of them set off towards the mirror.

Lupa: Wait, wait, wait!

The vampires and the demon hunter stop and look at her.

Lupa: You can't just go off shooting people….

Raziel: Why not? It's Moebius, anyway. He doesn't count as people.

Kain: *who never cared much for Lupa anyway* You don't have to come.

Kurt: Let them go, liebchen. We'll go back to the Nexus. Have some Schokolade, ja?

Lupa looks miserable.

Lupa: But what if they get hurt? Or lost? Or cold?

She looks at Raziel, pleadingly.

Lupa: What if you needed a hug? I wouldn't be there.

Kain rolls his eyes. Raziel has that look that all children get when their mother has just spat on a tissue and is wiping dirt off their noses.

Raziel: Aww, Lupa…you're embarrassing me in front of the guys…

Lupa waves an imperious finger at Kain.

Lupa: Now you take good care of him. Make sure he washes the blood out of his cowl. Make sure he turns the Reaver off when he's not using it. And don't let Moebius push Dante out of his own time, Chalcedony Blue will never forgive me.

Kain: *shuffling impatiently* Yeah yeah. Can we go now?

Lupa grabs Raziel in a quick hug, then steps back and waves sadly as he disappears through the mirror behind Dante.

Lupa: Bye bye, Raz. See you soon.

She takes Kurt's hand and trails back the way they came, towards the Silent Hill Room.

Kurt: *worried* Cheer up.

Lupa: *subdued* Is there really a guy in Tekken Tag who looks like you?

Kurt: Well, that's a matter of opinion…he's blue, all right, and he has a pointed tail like mine…black hair…glowing eyes…guess it's only the wings that make him much different…

Lupa: *interested* He has wings? Dragony or feathery?

Kurt: *innocently* Oh, kind of vampire Raziel-y.

Lupa: Could we sort of…stop off there on the way home?

Kurt laughs and pushes open the door next to the one that would return them to Silent Hill.

Voice: Welcome to the King of Iron Fist Tournament. Enter the Tekken.

Lupa: Bring 'em on. They're not so tough….

I think "Shooting Vampires" will come to a conclusion here, with all our protagonists gone on sabbatical to different worlds..…if anyone is particularly interested in either "Kain, Dante, Raziel and the Great Moebius Massacre" or "Lupa and Nightcrawler take on Heihachi Mishima" *sniggers* then I am happy to write them! *ducks as a stray grenade nearly topples the Pillars* Hoo boy…..