Chapter 6

Harry and Martin were strolling across the large entrance hall, his father having asked Harry to accompany him to Hagrid's Hut after the interrogation.

"That was a very credible performance, Harry," Martin observed mildly as soon as they were out of doors.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked warily.

"Don't forget, I was an Auror myself. You'd never pull it off if I were the one asking questions. I don't know how Srimgeour could have made it to senior Aurorship, if that's an example of his skills… He didn't even ask you to list all the curses and jinxes that were used at the Owlery."

Harry remained silent. Martin stopped abruptly.

"Look, Harry, I appreciate that you cover for someone. I am sure you've got a good reason for that. But at this point I simply cannot let you to do it. I hope I am not unreasonable. I refused the permission for a Legilimency invasion. That didn't go over well with Crouch, let tell you. I even quarrelled with your Grandfather over it…"

"I am sorry—"

"No, don't be. We all love you, and we are all on your side, even when we are disagreeing over tactics. But you must be reasonable too. Don't you think that in a situation like this your family deserve to know the truth? It was a murder attempt, not some schoolyard prank."

Harry knew himself to be beaten. It was true that all of his family were worried sick over the broom incident. Why should his loyalty to the marauders supersede his loyalty to his actual parents? Martin was right it wouldn't be fair.

"Look, Dad, if I told you, could you keep it secret? I really don't want Aurors to get involved."

"I'll keep it secret, unless I deem it prudent to do otherwise," Martin said implacably.

Sighing Harry launched into an account of the marauders' 'prank' at the owlery. By the time he finished his tale Martin was looking very grim.

"For how long did you leave them under the cloak?"

"A half an hour or so. I came back as soon, as Pomfrey patched me up."

"Being powerless like that even for a few minutes is a harrowing experience," Martin said gravely. "And they couldn't have known that you'd come to release them."

"I know! I mean, I can imagine. I was just furious…"

"I am sure you were. But don't you see that the entire encounter was likely to make either or both of them pretty resentful?"

"It, could, but it didn't. Honestly, Dad, we've been on much better terms ever since…"

"Have you, now. And why were you singled out in the first place?"

Harry sighed. "You remember a first year whose trunk Ralf carried off the platform?"

"Yes, a very pretty redhead. Why?"

"It was at her Stebbins hurled that m-word."

"Mm-hmm. And how does it concern Potter and Black?"

"Potter fancies her. It's pretty one-sided, but he's … territorial, I guess. He and Black make her friend's life hell… And when I duelled basically over her, it was inevitable that I'd become a target."

Martin was frowning at him.

"Speaking of girls. How about Asta?"

"Really, Dad. Why would she do it? Just to win a match? It's ridiculous."

"I don't know her well enough to dismiss it as a motive. Do you? It was her first match on the team, I understand."

"I don't know her at all, but it seems far-fetched. Besides she passed up the opportunity to win and saved my neck instead."

"Maybe she didn't want to kill you. Maybe she wanted to put you under obligation."

Harry had to concede it was an idea that Asta might find attractive.

"It still seems too drastic. I mean, I know your parents helped Theo, but it's not like he owes Grandfather a life-debt…"

"True. I remember you said she was a blood-purist."

Harry shrugged.

"They say she is, but it could just be a rumour. And even if she is, so what? She just wouldn't want to marry me or something."

Martin gave him an odd lopsided smile.

"That's just it. Theo approached me with a contract."

"What?!"

"You needn't look so scared, Harry," he chuckled. "I told him you both are way too young to think of marriage."

"Well then."

"But that's an excuse that will gradually loose its validity."

"Why couldn't you just say that you don't believe in arranged marriages?" Harry grumbled.

"That would be a lie."

"It would?! I don't believe we are even having this conversation! You married for love!"

"I did, and I've been very lucky. Theo too made a love match, but his was a total disaster. My own parents' marriage was arranged, however, and they were very happy together. There is more than one kind of a happy marriage, whatever count Tolstoi may have said on the subject."

"I don't even know what you are talking about," Harry complained. "I am not the nerdy son, remember?"

"Never mind that. You are right though, Asta does seem to be an unlikely suspect. And McLaggen and Stebbins were both questioned under Veritaserum and acquitted."

"Well, if Scrimgeour was the one to do the questioning…"

"Don't you see, Harry," Martin interjected impatiently, "right now Potter and Black are looking the most likely culprits. They are accredited bullies, have penchant for cruel pranks and may well bear you a grudge."

"I know in my guts that it's not them!" Harry insisted stubbornly.

"I won't tell you to not trust your instincts, because they are usually pretty good. But everyone can make a mistake, and with your life in jeopardy, I just cannot afford one. I am sorry, Harry, but I'll pass it on."

"Listen, Dad," Harry said desperately. "I shielded them after the owlery mess. And maybe it was wrongheaded, but I did it, and it would be seriously shabby to snitch on them now!"

"This is not the time for such niceties," Martin's tone was implacable.

"You taught me these niceties!"

Martin stilled.

"You have me there," he acknowledged. He pulled a cigar from his pocket and lit it thoughtfully.

"Very well. I am going to offer you a deal, and it's a final one," he said after a short pause. "I'll pull some strings and get my hands on Veritaserum. You talk to Potter and Black. If they agree to a private questioning and it turns out that they didn't sabotage your broom, there will be no more to be said about it. Their secrets will remain secrets. If they refuse, I'll go straight to Crouch."

And Crouch hated Sirius's family. He'd milk it for what it worth and more, if he had half a chance. Damn. Harry looked at his feet miserably. That was really the best he could do for them. He felt Martin hand on his shoulder.

"Harry, look at me." Martin's usually easy-going expression turned to flint. "I hate to put you on the spot like this, but someone tried to kill you, and I will get to the bottom of it before I am much older!"

"OK."

"Run to the castle now. I don't want you to loiter after dark." Martin squeezed his shoulder and tuned away.

Not looking forward to confronting the marauders Harry was dragging his feet on the way back to the castle. Suddenly he heard someone's steps behind. Clutching his wand, he whirled around.

"Who's there?" he demanded.

There was no answer. Harry was about to cast Homini Revelium, when both marauders' disembodied heads appeared a few feet before him.

"Thanks for nothing, Hagel," James was glaring at him, he saw, while Sirius was back to his stoic mask face.

"Eavesdropping, were you? I don't know why you think I owe my first loyalty to you, and not to my father, James," Harry said, manfully ignoring the irony. "At least Dad is a man of his word. If you agree to the questioning and have nothing to do with the broom thing, you are in the clear. You'll be able keep you your cloak and stuff."

"Well, it's not like you left us a choice—" James checked midsentence as they heard someone moan. "What the hell…"

"Let me under the cloak, quick!" Harry ordered. As James started to object, they heard an unmistakable sound of a slap and another moan.

Harry wasn't yet very proficient at casting non-verbally at thirteen, but as the familiar fabric enveloped him, he managed a silent Maffiato. Both boys looked askance as they saw an unfamiliar wand movement.

"You don't want to be heard, do you?" Harry said impatiently. "C'mon, it's behind the Greenhouse One."

They rushed to the place only to stop in their tracks goggling in disbelief at the scene unfolding right before their eyes. McLaggen was kissing a girl. That in itself wouldn't be such a revelation if it weren't for the identity of the girl in question. Harry squinted at Sirius. The Black heir was looking incensed and revolted, not that Harry blamed him. How on earth Andromeda Black could stoop to scum like McLaggen, let alone let him treat her that way?! The burly Gryffindor was clutching her thick braid roughly, as he pulled from the kiss.

"Well?!"

"I am sorry, Wulf, forgive me!"

"You are an uppity bitch! You think you can get away with treating me like some riff-raff!" He gave her hair a painful tag. "Huh?!"

"Please, Wulf," she mewed.

By the time Sirius tried to rush from under the cloak, wand at the ready, Harry had recovered his wits.

"Wait, Sirius," Harry caught the younger boy across his chest. "Look, it's not your cousin!"

"What do you mean?! I should know my cousin, thank you very much," the boy bellowed. "He must've drugged her with some love potion or—"

"She's drugged alright," Harry gave mental thanks to Snape and his Maffiato. "But it's Polyjuice, not Amortentia. Look at her robes."

Sirius paused long enough to take in the girl's ugly shapeless clothing.

"Are you saying," he said slowly, "that it's in fact Antidote?"

"Yep."

"Wulf! I want you! Please!"

"Urh, let's go away before I become sick," James looked seriously green in the face.

"You don't deserve me," McLaggen was meanwhile saying. "Get on your knees and give me head, Headgirl. And don't take too long, I don't want this stuff to wear off before I come, understand?"

"Let's go," the three of them practically ran from their observation post.

Suddenly Sirius stopped.

"I don't know why I am running when I should be cursing both of them into the next century. It's my cousin they are degrading!"

"If you interrupt now, Dern will be the one in trouble, she's an adult and McLaggen is underage." Harry said.

"Look, Hagel, I don't care how unhappy her home is. This is revolting!"

"I don't care myself, but I don't want McLaggen to get scott-free!"

"You just said that your first loyalty is to your family? Well, I too owe my family something!"

"Shh… I think it's them!" James warned.

Mentally Harry raised his eyebrows. Obviously McLaggen wasn't kidding about not taking time. Hastily the three of them get under the cloak again. Soon they could see Dern and Mclaggen coming their way. Dern was looking herself now.

"How much you still got in that purse?" McLaggen was asking.

"About thirteen galleons."

"What? Did you buy things for yourself as well?"

"I did not! I had to buy all that naughty stuff for Sackville… Though you know, it wouldn't hurt if you gave me something too, now that I am your girlfriend!" The girl replied sourly.

Definitely not a love potion, Harry thought.

"I am not made of galleons," her lover returned even more sourly. "Ok here is another ten," he gave her a few gold pieces. "Next Saturday is a Hogsmead weekend. Buy a nightly in Narcissa's size. Nothing frilly, mind you, just plain virginal stuff," he smirked. This time it took both Harry and James concerted efforts to stop Sirius from rushing at McLaggen. "You still got Daisy's hairs?"

"A few…"

They were nearing the Castle by now, and Harry zoned out.

"Wew," James said as soon as the couple vanished behind the imposing doors. "They must've been harvesting hairs of all the pretty girls in the school!" Suddenly he scowled. "Sirius's right. We can't let them to get away with it!"

"I know. But think, you two. McLaggen dumped Sackville basically the same day Crouch started nosing around. You don't think it is a coincidence? Dern's got to have something to hold over him!"

"I don't care," Sirius said mutinously. "You can play detective all you want. I am going to kill McLaggen and Antidote!"

"Besides, he seems to have the upper hand in their relationship," James added. "He wouldn't, if he were blackmailed, would he?"

Harry shook his head.

"Don't you see, he easily could both have a trophy girlfriend and enjoy their little trysts on the side. I bet it's been going on for some time with them. She is desperate enough to agree to such an arrangement. Probably even to come up with it in the first place… And I bet she's done him other favours beyond sexual ones. That must've been how he passed the questioning. If that prat Srimgeour asked him something like, 'Did you sabotage Hagel's broom? or 'Do you know who sabotaged Hagel's broom' he could answer 'No' to both because it was Dern, who arranged the whole thing for him!"

"Even if you are right, I still can't see how it gives her the upper hand," James said doubtfully. "She can't rat on him if she is herself implicated."

"I am telling you, she's desperate!" Harry said remembering Merope Gaunt. "It's her final year, her time is running out. Once she's out of Hogwarts she'll have no decent job, no boyfriend, nothing. She probably saw the whole thing as a big chance," Harry was thinking aloud. "McLaggen must've been scared shitless when Crouch himself showed up. So he figured he'd go along with her demands for now. At least for as long as Aurors roam the school."

"Whatever," Sirius said sulkily. "I still don't see why you stopped me from killing them."

"Say, Sirius," Harry asked slowly. "What our esteemed Headgirl would do, if we were to disclose to her the tonight's revelations?"

"Kill them both dead," Sirius answered immediately. "Bella might've tortured them first, but Andy wouldn't waste her time on preliminaries."

"Ouch. I guess we'll just have to involve the Headboy as well, then."

"You think that Puff could restrain Andy? Good luck with that!"

"He's got the badge; there must be more to him than meets the eye."

"Why should we—"

"Do you want to be expelled or end up in Azkaban because of this scum?" Harry asked with asperity. "Let's cooperate with Andromeda, and we'll stop these goings-on and make them both pay. You'll see. Revenge is a dish served cold and all that."

This was how they found themselves in the Head Pupils common room perilously close to the curfew.

"He said what?" nostrils flaring, at the moment Andromeda Black's resemblance to her eldest sister was a tad too pronounced for Harry's liking. "Why is he still alive?!" she rounded on her cousin.

"See?" Sirius grumbled to Harry. "Even the Headgirl thinks that killing them was an appropriate course of action. I tried to, but these two stopped me," he added for Andromeda's benefit.

"Quite right," Ted said firmly. "We should take it up with Dumbledore."

"We can always do that later," Harry countered. "Look, you want to avenge the family honour, I want to know who interfered with my broom. Let's kill two birds with one stone."

The haughty brunette looked at him from under the heavy eyelids.

"What do you have in mind?" she asked.

"You'd make a decent Slytherin," Sirius observed as they were nearing Gryffindor Tower.

"Decent?" Harry pretended to take offence. "The Hat said I'd do great there!"

"So how come you are a Gryffindor then?" James asked.

"That's where I wanted to be. Most of my father's family are Gryffindors."

"Unless they went to Durmstrang."

Harry shrugged.

"Nothing wrong with Durmstrang," the school had only become notorious under Karkaroff's tenure, after all.

"Gindelwald went there."

Harry rolled his eyes. "He had to go to school somewhere. Besides, they chucked him when he was sixteen. My Cauldron of Love."

"Urh. Lu must have been Confounded when she chose the password."

"I've head worse," Harry smirked recalling the Crazy Knight's stint as Gryffindor Tower's entrance keeper.

Harry and the twins were sitting in Three Broomsticks drinking butterbeer and discussing the Hernandez book.

"I get that Cortes came to Mesoamerica the same year that Quetzal guy was supposed to return, but even so how could the Aztecs have been so damn gullible?" Gideon shook his head.

"You know how you never see things that are right under your nose, just because you don't expect them to be there? I figure it was the same only in reverse. They were all revved up for the Quetzal's return, et voilà there came Cortes with Aron's henchmen in tow. They would have had a few tricks up their sleeves, I bet," Harry said.

"Yes, and the old Aron surely timed the whole thing according to their calendar. No way was it a coincidence… Uh, hello?" Fabian looked up at the Headboy in surprise.

"Hagel, could I have a word?"

"Sure," Harry followed the Puff.

"Andromeda took pictures of the Dern in the Gladrags store."

"Good."

"If you say so. I don't like the vigilantism."

"So why don't you go to Dumbledore? You are the Headboy, so you are Black's equal in authority," Harry pointed out.

Ted looked annoyed at the implied challenge.

"It concerns her family, so I guess it is only fair that she should have more of an input."

"There you go then."

"OK here comes McLaggen with his cronies. See you later."

"What was it about?" Gideon asked.

"The ongoing investigation," Harry didn't like to keep the twins in the dark, but he was not the only one concerned. They had agreed to keep the whole thing among themselves when Andromeda had consented to help.

Harry acknowledged to himself that Ted's misgivings were justified. Now that the trap was about to snap at the guilty couple he too felt uneasy. So many things could have gone wrong. Both or either of Blacks could have succumbed to their infamous temper. McLaggen could do something truly stupid. And then there was the fact that both marauders insisted on their right to participate in the final showdown. They all had agreed to intervene before things get too NC-17, but even so James and Sirius were only eleven. And Dern was going to change into a thirteen year old! What a disgusting pair of perverts they were, really. Harry sighed. At least Martin, having procured the Veriaserum, had given a reluctant green light to their plan. For once Harry was glad to cede the authority to an actual adult.

In the event, it was not a Black, but the Headboy, who went berserk on a hapless McLaggen. They were all concealed in the Greenhouse One inside the invisible marquee Martin had managed to set up only a couple of hours before. Thanks to the cloaked marauders tailing Dern they were aware of the timing of the couple's rendezvous. Two of the latest state of the art Van der Velde wizarding cameras had been strategically placed. Everything was going according to the plan, except that McLaggen decided to leave Narcissa for later and told Dern to change into Andromeda first. They had barely the time to capture the transformation process on camera, though. As soon as the two started their dominant/submissive games Ted Tonks bellowed with rage, rushed to the bewildered Gryffindor's keeper and knocked him out cold without least help of magic.

"Well," Martin sighed, "maybe it is just as well." He looked at the snivelling faux Headgirl. "Miss Dern, we have enough evidence to not only ensure your expulsion from Hogwarts but also to launch a formal Auror investigation into your mother's illegal trade of restricted substances. And yours as well, since you are an adult. As for the rest of it… If you exploits were to be publicised the McLaggens would make sure that you took all the blame. Wulfric here is only fifteen…"

"No, please…"

"I am not interested in your family involvement in the black market. I am here to investigate the attempt on my son's life. If you agree to a Veritaserum questioning, I won't inform the Auror Office about your mother's illegal dealings with Polyjuice."

"I'll do it!" the girl nodded eagerly (the most incongruous expression on Andromeda's face, Harry mused) but there was something akin to satisfaction flickered in her eyes. Odd. She should have been more afraid about the prospect. Harry looked at Martin wondering is he caught it to, but his father's implacable expression was otherwise unreadable.

Just in case Polyjuice might interfere with the truth serum they waited until the girl changed back, taking care to catch the reverse process on camera as well. McLaggen was still out cold. Andromeda meanwhile confiscated the small-size nightie and a pouch where Dern kept the heirs. They had been all carefully catalogued and tagged. All in all the couple had collected hairs of about a dozen girls. Harry noticed that James relaxed visibly when he realised that Lily's hairs weren't part of the collection. Apparently she was too young even for a pervert like McLaggen.

Finally Dern was back to her ugly self and Martin could start the interrogation.

"Miss Dern, who sabotaged Harry's broom?"

"No one," despite everything, the girl sounded almost triumphant.

Harry stared at Martin. Was the serum malfunctioning?

"What happened to Harry's broom during the match with Ravenclaw?"

"Nothing," this time she sounded a bit less sure.

Martin gave the girl a thin smile.

"Whose broom Harry rode at the last match with Ravenclaw?"

"Wulf's," she was crying now in earnest.

"So he sabotaged his own broom. Clever."

Harry had to admit it was a neat trick. Scrimgeor was likely to ask McLaggen only if he had sabotaged Harry's broom, after all. The family lawyer present at the interview would have ensured that there weren't too many follow-up questions. And their brooms were nearly identical. Same year models in a similar condition…

"How did he do it?"

"He applied the Universal Brooms' patent charm on it."

Martin frowned.

"The Universal sells hurtling hexes?!"

"They call their modification of it 'The Speed Restriction Charm'. They advertise it as a caution charm for beginners. Parents would put it on their kid's first broom. Then if the kid flies too fast the broom goes all jerky so they'd know it's time to slow down."

"I've never heard of anything so idiotic," James commented. "No wonder the Universal are on their last legs."

"Who switched the brooms?"

"I did. Wulf created a diversion when he insulted the Claws' keeper."

"Inspired," Martin sounded almost admiring. "All he did was to apply a legally purchased magical product to his own broomstick. He can even claim he was going to use it himself. Keepers don't usually fly at the speed limit. The only illegal part in the entire debacle was yours."

"Please, you promised," Dern was bleating now.

"Well, for my part I would be satisfied to leave the matter for the Headmaster to deal with. Miss Black?"

"Oh, I concur. The Aurors involvement would mean the most unwelcome exposure. I hope my sister will never hear of it, much less find herself amidst such squalid scandal."

"Well then. Let's revive the Casanova and go to the Headmaster."

"I don't get it," Harry was saying as they were returning to the castle. "How that Restriction Charm can be legally sold, if it is really a Hurtling Hex, and how come no one put two and two together after the incident."

"Well, we don't have advanced consumer protection legislation, alas. As for the rest…you are the one who are Quidditch-mad," Martin pointed out. "Why didn't you spot it?"

"I don't browse Which Broom section for beginners."

"There you go then. Flitwick did say that the person who activated the hex weren't the same one who crafted it, but it didn't help us much."

"Ha!" Sirius exclaimed. "There goes your theory that James and I couldn't do it. Even a first year can activate a muss-produced charm!"

"I'd no idea it rankled so much. Next time someone's killed I'll be sure to denounce you."

Harry was returning to Gryffindor with James. Everyone else had gone to Dumbledore, Sirius having insisted that as the future head of the family he had the right to be present. Harry himself had no desire to interact with the old wizard more than strictly necessary, and James seemed to think along the same lines.

"Why did you have to involve the Headgirl at all?" James asked eventually. "What with your old man being on board you could manage without her help, surely?"

"Well, I'd look out of place in the Gladrags' lingerie section, for one."

"Not as out of place as Dern did, I wager," James snorted. "Seriously, why you insisted on her taking part?"

"Well, in some way because I think she deserved to know. But mostly because I hoped that she'd manage to keep Sirius in check. And don't tell me that you would have. Not in a situation like this."

"I suppose," James said slowly. "But why do you care if he did something stupid?"

"I don't," Harry lied. "But I didn't want him to mess up my investigation."

"Hmm. A valid reason," James sounded downright sarcastic. "You tell the password. I can't say it out loud without vomiting."