Chapter 8 - Running

Haru couldn't move. He couldn't even breathe. Makoto liked him. Makoto, a famous, good-looking, perfect human being, liked him. An unknown, horrible musician who couldn't even get anywhere with his songs. Makoto liked him.

What could he even do?

Haru could just run away, as his mind was screaming at him to do. His legs were trembling, wanting so desperately to break into a sprint, but his feet seemed glued to the floor. His body and mind were conflicted with a mixture of desires.

As Makoto opened his mouth, probably to ask if Haru was okay, his gaze fell to the floor, regaining the ability to breathe, though it came out uneven and shallow. It was almost as if he were panicking. No, he was panicking, if the way his heart raced was any indication, beating rapidly and out of time.

"...Haru," Makoto started, and Haru pretended to be interested in his shoes, hoping to whatever God that existed that the pianist was stupid enough to fall for the act. "I-I'm sorry I-" He fell silent, and Haru completely ignored the voice in the back of his mind telling him that Nagisa was taking a little too long in the bathroom for it to be normal.

Run.

Forcing his body into action, Haru whipped around and sprinted out of the door, Makoto's shout of his name falling onto deaf ears. Already panting, Haru blinked away the burning of his eyes, knowing that tears were attempting to form. He refused to let them and soon found himself in the park where he and Makoto had first met.

It was cold, a thick blanket of snow covering every surface, and Haru mentally cursed the weather. Snow had never lasted this long before, why was it so determined to stick around?

Haru sat down on the same fountain where he had played for Makoto those weeks ago. Why did he run? What was even going through his mind when he-

"Oi."

Haru's head snapped up at the sound of a rather familiar voice. Crimson hair with eyes of a matching shade... of course it had to be Rin.

"R-Rin? What are you-"

"I'm here to talk some sense into that thick skull of yours, Haru."

He fell silent as his friend approached, head hanging low as he gazed at the snow covered ground. He was cold, so cold, and an idiot for not even thinking of taking his jacket with him. At a weight on his shoulders, Haru jumped. But it was warm. Had Rin just-

"So you don't freeze to death," came the redhead's words and Haru heard a soft thump as Rin sat down next to him. He refused to look at his friend. "Nagisa told me."

"I didn't mean- I just- I don't-"

"Haru! Relax. I'm not gonna yell at you like Nagisa probably will. That dumb blond trying to force that Tachibana guy to say something... Tch."

Haru shifted awkwardly, though was secretly grateful for the warm jacket around his shoulders. Despite that, he couldn't stop shivering, feeling cold to the bone. Why did it have to be so cold again? Rin was obviously pissed about having to be the one to talk to Haru, to try and make him see some sense in the whole situation. But, Haru appreciated it. As he stared into the distance, he realised that he actually needed this right now.

"Why did you run? I thought you got over that." Haru nibbled on the inside of his bottom lip nervously. Well, he had thought that too. "That's all you used to do as a kid, y'know? Run away from your problems, hoping that you'll never have to deal with them again. Do you even know how stupid that is? Think of how Tachibana feels! He's probably heart broken right now, Haru, don't you realise that?"

Haru swallowed hard, trying to rid his throat of the ugly lump that had formed. Rin was right. How did Makoto feel about him running away? He probably took it as a rejection. There was no way now for Haru to make things right, was there? He remained silent, unconsciously curling into himself.

"Haru, I know you like him, but running away isn't going to solve anything. Fuck..." He heard shuffling from next to him and dared to glance up. It seemed the chill in the air was getting to Rin, too. "Look, I just don't want you to fuck this up like I did with Ai, 'kay? Tachibana doesn't just like you, Haru, I could see it in his eyes when I watched you two perform."

Wait, Rin had seen that? Panic bubbled up in Haru's chest. Rin had seen him play. He had seen his complete disaster of a performance-

"-which, by the way, was pretty cool of you to do."

What?

"But Haru, listen to me for once in your damn life."

Haru grit his teeth, wanting to stop them from chattering and also to try and prevent the irritation he felt. He didn't need Rin to tell him these things! He didn't want to hear it. There was no need. He could figure this all out on his own, he just needed a bit of time.

"I don't need you to-"

"Yes you fucking do, Haru!" Rin had stood up, now in front of Haru, hands at his sides. Haru flinched as he saw Rin's hands come closer to him but when he felt contact on his shoulders instead of his face, he cracked one eye open. "Listen to me."

"I-I don-"

"Tachibana loves you."

He what? Haru stared up at Rin almost dumbly, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. He knew Makoto liked him but... love?

"But I-"

"I told you to fucking listen! Jeez, Haru, I thought you were smarter than this. Tell me you can't see it when he looks at you? That's not friendly affection, it's pure love. He loves you, Haru, and you're so fucking lucky to have someone who does! Stop running away from it already! I know how you feel, more than you think I do, so just stop running."

The tears that Haru had been holding back for so long finally spilled over, trickling down his cheeks and leaving a trail of wet warmth in their tracks. He reached up and rubbed at his running nose, sniffing a few times. He realised that yes, he could see it. Every glance Makoto gave him was full of an affection that you don't just get from a friend.

"Oh my God you're crying. You're such a fucking baby!" A loud ringing filled the air and Rin took a step back. "Hold on." Haru ducked his head, hoping that his fringe would cover his puffy eyes. "-Yeah, he's here." No Rin, don't- "come get him. Yeah yeah, I talked to him."

"Rin, stop!" Haru's voice rose in volume and he stood up, jacket slipping off his shoulders with the sudden movement. "I-I don't want to- I-I can't see M-Makoto. I-I want t-to go home. I can't-" Haru was cut off by a hard hit to his face. Had Rin just...? Clutching his burning cheek, Haru glared at his friend. "Wh-what the hell, Rin? I just want to go-" Another hit. Haru stumbled, losing his balance.

"You're not going anywhere," Rin practically growled, taking hold of the front of Haru's shirt tightly and pushing him back towards the fountain. "You're going to sit here and wait for Tachibana to come and get you. And yeah, he heard you shouting. I didn't get a chance to hang up before you decided that you wanted to run away again. I'm not letting you."

Defeated, Haru obediently sat back down and pulled his knees up to his chest, burying his face against his legs. His cheek hurt like hell, his heart ached, and his stomach, as if to add to his situation, let out a loud growl to announce his growing hunger. Silence fell between the pair, bar the odd sniff from Haru.

"Stop crying already. You want Tachibana to see you like that? You look pathetic."

No, he didn't. Not again. Haru uncurled his body and wiped at his eyes and nose, not caring that he probably got snot all over his hoody's sleeve. It could always be washed later.

"You're so stupid for letting this shit happen. I bet he's worried sick. Not that I would be."

Haru almost snorted. Rin would probably be more worried than Makoto. In fact he'd probably end up crying. Rin sighed loudly, shuffling his feet in the snow and sending some of it flying with a kick. He turned around suddenly and Haru expected another hit, flinching again. Nothing happened.

"Just... Don't fuck this up, alright? I may act like a dick to you Haru but I want you to be happy just as much as Nagisa and Rei." Since when did Rin give advice to him like that? And when did he ever admit that he was a dick? Haru was going to comment when he heard an all too familiar voice.

"Haru! Haru, there you are!" Haru's heart sank. Makoto didn't sound angry, he sounded relieved. Why was he relieved?! Haru had practically rejected him! Makoto shouldn't want to see Haru at all... Right?

"M-Mako...to..." Finding that his voice was probably not going to work very well, Haru stood up and allowed Makoto to embrace him. He winced at the brunet's head rubbing against his cheek but ignored it. The warmth emanating from Makoto's body was more than welcome, and comforting.

"I'll leave you to do the rest, Haru. Not sorry for hitting you, by the way." Before Haru could thank his friend, Rin was gone, waving his hand in a silent goodbye. Makoto pulled back at these words and studied Haru's face.

"He hit you? Why?"

Haru shrugged one shoulder, still unable to look Makoto in the eye. "I... I needed it. A-Apparently." Reaching up with a hand, he ran the tips of his fingers over what would surely be a bruise later. He jumped when he felt fingers that weren't his own, join and intertwine with his. The action was simple, but sent Haru's pulse into a frenzy, heart beating rapidly as his cheeks began to burn not only with the sting of Rin's hits, but a blush. Why was Makoto being like this? Shouldn't he be angry? Why...

"I meant what I said, Haru." Breath hitching in his throat, Haru struggled to gather the words to respond. He liked Makoto. Of course he did, how could he not have feelings for such a perfect person? As soon as he had laid eyes on Makoto, heard that voice, he knew he was doomed for eternity with how hard he fell for him.

"I-I'm s-s-sor-ry-" Haru tried to speak but the shivers wracking his body only made his voice waver and words stutter. When Makoto had arrived shouting his name, Haru had completely forgotten about how cold it was as a light flurry of snow began to fall. He wanted to go home, he wanted to be in his warm, cosy apartment, but at the same time, he couldn't help but want to stay in Makoto's embrace forever.

"You're frozen... Here, I brought your coat." Haru almost choked on a sob when Makoto wrapped his coat around his body. "You've been crying. I'm sorry. I'll take you back to my apartment okay? I'll make some tea."

Haru wanted to speak, to voice his thoughts about only wanting to go to his home, that yes, I like you too Makoto, in fact I think I love you, but no sound came out when he parted his lips. Only a quiet whimper escaped as Makoto touched the sensitive flesh on his cheek.

"Come on, or you'll get sick." There wasn't any irritation in Makoto's tone of voice, only a great amount of worry with a tint of happiness. Haru still couldn't understand but followed as the brunet lead him to his car.

Not a word was said between them during the entire journey to Makoto's apartment, but Haru didn't find it awkward at all. It was almost comfortable as he leaned his head on the glass of the car's window, watching the world fly by in a blanket of white. The quiet jingle of the radio only served as background noise and he knew that Makoto was stealing concerned glances at him. Which was probably dangerous in some way considering Makoto was the one driving.

Soon Haru was sat back in the lounge of Makoto's large apartment, staring into space as the memories of that day, and even the hazy ones from the night before, whizzed around his mind. He was trying to make sense of it all, but failing horribly. A warm cup being placed in his hands brought Haru back to the real world and he automatically wrapped his fingers around it, craving the heat it provided as his body still shivered.

"I was worried." Typical Makoto, starting the conversation. "When you ran off. I-I mean, it's cold out there and..." A nervous chuckle filled the air and Haru glanced up, looking at Makoto through dark lashes. "Haru... I..."

Haru had to say something. It was the only way he could get across exactly what he felt. Makoto clearly wanted to know, both his body language and voice giving everything away.

"I think..." Haru slowly started, drawing Makoto's attention and he stood waiting like a puppy for a treat. "I might..." Words weren't working. Haru mentally cursed his inability to get his emotions across and sighed, gently placing his cup on the small coffee table. If words didn't work, then he was left with...

"Haru? Are you okay? Y-You should rest or you'll-" Haru cut him short by placing a finger on Makoto's lips, and then replacing it with his own mouth. He could see and feel the way Makoto turned completely rigid under the touch. He put his trembling hands on the fabric covering Makoto's chest, but not to push the taller male away. The kiss was sweet, nothing like the bits and pieces he could remember from the night prior, which was messy and hungry. Their lips slid softly against each other, parting slightly. He moved his hands from Makoto's chest to his shoulders, the arms around his waist tightening their grip. Slowly, azure eyes fluttered closed. Their noses bumped awkwardly due to Haru's lack of experience – a twinge of jealousy tugged at Haru's heart at the thought of this not being Makoto's first kiss – and he fought back a small smile.

It all felt innocent, as if there were no other intentions, until Haru felt hands on his hips, gradually making their way down to his- he pulled away with a quiet whine and quickly buried his face into the crook of Makoto's neck.

"S-Sorry Haru I-I got.. carried away. I'm sorry." Haru smiled, thankful that Makoto couldn't see it.

"It's okay."

"B-But I really, really like you-"

"I know."

"I-It doesn't m-matter if you don't like me, b-but from that kiss-"

"-makoto-"

"-I-I'm going to... a-assume that you-"

Haru had to silence Makoto again with his lips in another kiss, whatever words the brunet had planned melting away. Despite his desires for something more, Haru cut the kiss short and looked Makoto directly in the eye.

"Makoto."

I think I love you.

I return! Life came at me in the shape of unemployment so uh, had to sort that out. Sorry!