Disclaimer: They ain't mine, I only play with them.

The Joker sighed and stretched out in his cell.

'What is wrong with me?' He thought. 'I'm fine for years and one little comment from the bats has me questioning my life-choices.'

He sighed again, which was really making the guards outside his cell nervous.

'If only bats could understand what it's like being me, but you can't force someone to know you.' With that thought he turned to the nearest cookie-cutter guard.

"Hey Joe! I got a question."

"Yes, Mr. Joker?"

All the guards had learned quickly to be polite to the madman. It beat waking up covered in a thousand paper cuts- exactly one thousand, they had counted- or not waking up at all.

"Listen, Joe, I have a problem.

"I've had my eye on someone for a while now, but they hardly seem to notice I'm there!

"I've tried everything to make them see we belong together, but when we do meet up all we seem to do is fight!

"So my question is this: if you were in my place, what would you do?"

Now 'Joe' was terrified, if he gave the wrong answer there was no telling what would happen to him.

Everyone knew that the patients ran the asylum.

"I'm waiting, Joe." Said the green haired menace.

Giving an internal sigh, an audible one might get him killed, Not-Joe decided to give his honest opinion and hope for the best.

"Well... if I was after someone and they didn't want me in return, I would ask myself: Why?, What am I doing wrong? or What have I done in the past to cause them to not want me?

"If I can't think of anything myself, then I would try to talk to them about it. Meet them on neutral ground and talk out our problems.

"If, after I had tried everything, had done all I could to make it work between us and they were still hostile towards me, I would leave.

"No one needs to be a doormat."

Realizing he had rambled, Definitely-Not-Joe shut up.

Taking a chance he turned towards the cell and was taken aback by what he saw.

The Clown Prince of Crime was staring at the floor with a very serious expression on his face.

Looking to his stone faced associates for help- they had gone rigid in an attempt at self-preservation- he was rebuffed.

Turning to the cell once more, he came eye to eye with toxic green eyes.

A smile split the face of the scariest psycho in Arkam, and a cackle filled the air.

"You're right, Joe! Thanks!"

As the guard regained consciousness, he was only slightly surprised to see he was in the infirmary.

Catching sight of a passing nurse, he asked:

"What happened?"

"The Joker escaped." She spoke softly, it was practically a scheduled event after all.

"You're very lucky Mr. Crocker, you are the only guard to survive."

Leaning back, Mr. Crocker smiled at the ceiling.

"I feel lucky. And please, call me Joe."

AN: So let me know if you want more and I will be happy to comply.