A/N: Basic summary of how this story happened... goldfish + magical transformations + hot guy = this. Big thanks to akashikuroko on tumblr (who is shipper-senpai aka Chii-senpai) for giving me the necessary courage to post this, haha.

Summary: When Kagami gives a red goldfish to Kuroko that he got as a prize from a local festival's goldfish scooping game, Kuroko isn't sure what to make of it when the newly bought fishbowl is empty, the goldfish is missing and there's a handsome red haired man with heterochromatic eyes in his bathtub that is obviously naked to anyone with a pair of eyes.

Warning: Goldfishes aren't as expressive like in this fic. Not betaed. Cheapskate Kagami jokes. Also, don't provoke goldfishes, they might magically transform into a hot guy and kill you in your sleep with a brick. You've been warned.

My Goldfish Boyfriend

Chapter 1

[a new roommate]

.

.

In the tied up plastic bag filled with seawater that was thrust to his face by his best friend, there was a red goldfish swimming inside it with furious twists and turns, as if wanting to escape the seemingly offensive man-made fish prison.

Kuroko isn't sure why Kagami had a goldfish, or why Kagami even bothered calling him (he said it was an emergency, Kuroko thought darkly, thinking of new ways to torture his ex-high school classmate, like bringing Nigou, his dog, more often when visiting the redhead) but he decided to listen and analyze the situation before judging.

But Kuroko couldn't help but say this:

"Kagami-kun, did you call me here as an urgent demand to show off your goldfish? I may not be good at jokes, but this is not funny."

The redhead in question, blushed and sputtered in an indignant manner. "Of course not! I just wanted to call you here because I wanted to give this," he said 'this' in a rather cold and angry way, kind of like he emphasized how the goldfish (if indirectly) insulted him. Kuroko felt himself wondering why he bothered to even care. "To you because apparently, it doesn't like me and tried to jump out the fishbowl multiple times. It's a suicidal and stupid fish."

When the word 'stupid' was uttered, the goldfish seemed to gain some sort of inhumane (?) strength — though technically, it was equivalent to a human's light poke with the index finger, but for a fish, it was pretty strong — and headbutted the plastic bag a few times in retaliation, making the plastic bag shake a few times, as if to say wordlessly that the goldfish did not appreciate being called 'stupid'.

Kuroko wasn't sure if he imagined the wordless action or if he was drunk (since when did he drink alcohol of any kind?) but he found the action in an endearing kind of way, like a small child being rebellious to show how mature he or she was to his or her mother.

Though that aside, there were other questions that needed to be answered first. Like, for example, how did Kagami even get the goldfish in the first place when he, 1) hates pets, 2) is a terrible pet owner, 3) other mundane reasons aside, Kagami is officially the worst pet owner in existence. Plus, Kagami would never waste money on a pet because he's a cheapskate; the kind of cheapskate where they buy plastic plants instead of real plants because the 'soil is too expensive', 'wasting water for a plant is pointless' and 'I might accidentally set it on fire', which, the latter, only applies to the redhead.

"So, why did you have a goldfish in the first place?" asked Kuroko. Obviously, his friend didn't fish for it; Kagami is more of a basketball type than a fisher. If he ever took fishing as a hobby, it would be to save money to buy fishes from the market in the first place.

His longtime friend gave a short and simple reply. "I got it at the festival. You know, the goldfish scooping game."

"Why did you play it?" the shorter male continued to question. "You would have to keep the goldfish if you did; which you did."

Kagami had the decency to look a little embarrassed. "Well, there was this kid taunting me that I couldn't do it..." he trailed off.

When faced with Kagami's sheepish look, the teal-haired man resisted the urge to facepalm. Instead, he decided to change the topic and asked in exasperation, "So, how can a fish be suicidal? Maybe slightly... 'stupid', as you've said," he said slowly, catching a glimpse of a glare from the goldfish. Okay, maybe he was the one who was crazy, imagining goldfishes could glare. If looks could kill, maybe the glare would've caused him to explode spontaneously into flames. "But I don't think that's the issue here. Did you provoke it, by any chance? It only became aggressive when you called it stupid."

Kagami snorted in response and laughed. "Can fishes understand human language?"

Again, thought Kuroko as he observed the goldfish that had its attention on Kagami. It will give a slight glare-like look to the offender.

However, Kuroko had a thoughtful expression before answering, to humor himself and his friend, "Maybe the fish is magical and if you offend it any more, it'll kill you in your sleep." He gave a joke-like answer, but said in a serious tone in his deadpan voice and blank look. He may not be good at jokes, but he did fancy himself having a sarcastic sense of humor.

The goldfish looked amused and seemed to agree wholeheartedly, judging by the way it was swimming gracefully in the transparent bag of water, the water swirling like a calm sea and the aggressive behavior completely gone.

"If fishes could kill," Kagami gave a playful answer of his own, his mouth twitched upwards slightly to form a grin, "the entire human race is definitely doomed."

The goldfish swam a little higher until it reached the surface of the water, to see Kagami's face, giving the aura of 'now-you-finally-realize' directed at the tall Japanese man.

Of course, Kagami didn't noticed while Kuroko inwardly wondered if he was reading into the situation a little too much. He wasn't even sure if goldfishes could be this expressive. Maybe he was mad, that explanation worked fine.

Kagami cleared his throat before saying, "Ahem. Anyways, can you keep this fish? I don't think I'll get along with it and I'm a terrible pet owner."

Kuroko shrugged. He wasn't sure if he should take the offer, since he already had Nigou for a pet and he wasn't looking for a new one at this time. Sure, a goldfish wasn't too much trouble because all you needed was water, fish food, a fishbowl and cleaning once every two to three weeks, so it wasn't too bad.

But to take in a pet that he didn't even plan to have...

It was kind of cruel and unfair—

"I'll buy you Maji's vanilla shakes for a week straight." Kagami offered, hoping to seal the deal because he knew Kuroko would never turn down an offer like this. It was kind of underhanded and foul play, but fair's fair.

Kagami waited for the teal-haired male's reply.

Kuroko abandoned previous sentiments about how 'cruel and unfair' it was to take in a pet he didn't want. He wasn't going to pass up on a once in a lifetime offer like this.

"Make that two and a half weeks, Kagami-kun." He bargained.

The fiery redhead grumbled under his breath, something about 'offering too soon' and 'broke'. Kuroko shook his head at the redhead's antics, it was his fault for offering and Kuroko was going to milk it for all its worth.

"Fine, fine!" Kagami agreed with an frustrated huff. He shot a grumpy scowl at the goldfish before handing it to Kuroko. "Can't believe I made you keep a fish by wastin' money that's worth more than this dumb fish."

Kuroko gave a miniscule smile at his friend's actions before taking the water-filled bag.

He didn't notice the red goldfish's assessing look that was directed at him.

.

.

The whole evening was spent on shopping for fish supplies like a proper fishbowl ("Kagami-kun, can I have your fishbowl?" Kuroko asked Kagami because he remembered the redhead saying he put it into a fishbowl, but his expectations were shot down when Kagami gave a sheepish look and said, "Actually, it was a makeshift fishbowl and it was an old glass jar..." he trailed off. Kuroko still held back the urge to facepalm. No wonder the fish tried to 'jump' out. Obviously it didn't want a degrading home.), fish food (again, expectations went into the drain when Kagami said he didn't buy any), sand for the fishbowl (like a terrain?) and a few decorations like (fake) large pearls, bright red marbles and strangely enough, a small crown with red (also fake) rubies.

"On the house, kid." The aquarium store clerk said with a hearty laugh.

"Why?" Kuroko asked suspiciously. There wasn't any promotions or freebies going on at the moment, so why?

"Well, this may sound strange to anyone, but," the clerk said and stopped dramatically, his eyes darting left and right to see if anyone was near, which was no one and then his voice was low like a conspiring whisper, "I can read fishes."

Kuroko was felt perplexed at the man's claim. He couldn't help but let out an unintelligent "Uhm, what?" because he couldn't comprehend the notion of being able to read fishes.

"I don't expect you to believe it," the man said in a rather patient way and disregarded the fact that he might've potentially scared a customer away but Kuroko remained unfazed. "But your goldfish regards itself — or is it himself? — in a kingly way, kinda like it's a higher being that everyone should bow down to." He stated happily.

Kuroko, deciding he had enough weirdness for the day, did not question the man's input on his newly-acquired goldfish's personality, nor did he question why the clerk seemed to see the goldfish as a male (because Kuroko didn't really care about a fish's gender and he didn't feel like finding out), so the most logical course of action was nodding. "Okay, clerk-san, I'll... take what you said into consideration." he said as he took the bag of bought fish care items and left.

Kuroko shook his head at the memory, juggled the things he was holding with one hand (saying a soft 'sorry' when he almost dropped the plastic bag that had the goldfish in it, which then made him ask himself why did he just apologized to a fish) and used his free hand to fish out the key to his apartment.

When he took it out of his pocket, he inserted the key into the keyhole, turning it clockwise to unlock it. It unlocked with a click and he turned the doorknob clockwise, taking back the key and putting it back into his pocket.

He went inside the apartment and locked the door behind him, so strange wouldn't have an ideas about entering without permission and set all the things on the shoe cabinet that was at the side and took of his shoes. Once he finished rolling his socks together (because he wasn't a messy person who liked to leave their things in a catastrophic mess), he took the two plastic bags and went into the living room, placing the bags on the coffee table.

Dog ears twitched from the noises and it stood up from its sleeping position to trot out of the kitchen and greet his owner.

"Woof! Woof!" the small black and white dog with sky blue eyes that matched with his owner's own pair, barked happily while his tail wagged to show it was pleased that his master came back.

Kuroko turned to the source of the barking and crouched down to pat his dog on the head.

The dog, Nigou, shot a questioning look to the items on the table but after staring at them, it walked to sofa, jumped and landed on it to sit there because it knew his owner was busy, so it decided not to bother him.

Kuroko smiled fondly. Nigou was very obedient and understanding.

Turning his attention back to the table, he took out all of the items out of the plastic bag while he left the goldfish to its own devices, he took the fishbowl (which wasn't too expensive and the design was nice and simple, the top of the bowl was like carefully molded waves and frills, so it suited him just fine), he washed the bowl in the kitchen because it was slightly dusty and returned to the living room and set the bowl on the coffee table.

Stretching a little, he went back to work to set the fishbowl while the goldfish watched with a curious gaze.

It didn't take too long for him to set up the fishbowl and adding the decorations, so when he was finished, he took the plastic bag that had the goldfish, opened it and lifted it over the bowl to pour the fish and water in, because he was not scooping the fish into the fishbowl since it was obviously not a good idea.

When both fish and water was safely moved into the container, the red goldfish swam around, as if testing its new home and Kuroko couldn't help but talk to it, even if it seemed ridiculous.

"I hope you like it." he said to the goldfish that stared at him. He felt the silence from the goldfish was questioning his sanity because he was currently talking to a fish but obviously, his mind was just giving strange ideas due to the fact that fishes couldn't talk anyways.

The goldfish, breaking the gaze, swam around in content to show it was much more satisfied being in the fishbowl than the plastic bag and the old jar.

Kuroko took it as a sign of happiness and left it after he pushed the fishbowl to the front, so it was at the middle rather than the side of the table.

It was time for him to eat dinner and feed Nigou.

Dinner was a quiet affair since he didn't live with anyone. The only sounds he could hear was Nigou munching his dog food and soft swishes of water.

After he finished his dinner, he washed the plates and left them to dry on the plate rack and dried his wet hands.

He watched television for a while, flickering between channels to see if anything was interesting to watch and to his disappointment, found none. Though there was a documentary on poisonous mushrooms, he skipped it to the news channel after half an hour because he needed to catch up on the late night news to see if anything was going on.

There was nothing much to say about the day, save for a measly robbery attempt, the rise of some mysterious underground cult and the increase of taxes, etcetera.

Yawning and looking at the clock see time, which was showing that it was already midnight. 12am was established bedtime for one Kuroko Tetsuya, with the reason being sleeping at 1am and beyond unhealthy, so he got up from the sofa and turned off all the electrical appliances (wasting electricity was bad and adding more to what he had to pay every month). Once he was done, he bid a goodnight to his new goldfish (which confused him again) and went into his bedroom with Nigou trotting behind him.

Kuroko did not notice the sudden stillness in the goldfish and the look that was directed at his retreating figure.

.

.

Plip plop.

Water dripping.

Plip plop.

A thunk.

Thumps.

A sound akin to glass edges rolling.

Silence.

Pitter pattering footsteps.

Light but not unheard.

Kuroko tossed and turned, ignoring the feeling of impending doom.

Strangely, he didn't feel like waking up tomorrow.

.

.

However, Kuroko did wake up because his alarm beeped very loudly and obnoxiously. He got off his bed, did regular things that he needed to do in the morning, like a quick shower, brushing his teeth, washing his face — a normal routine.

So, obviously, after getting dressed in casual clothes fit to be worn in his own home only, he didn't expect to see a slightly wet rug (the rug that was located under the coffee table), droplets of water on the wooden floor (dried, but it left marks because the wood was of cheap quality that wasn't durable to water) and looking at the coffee table...

The fishbowl was wet on the outside, decorations inside looked like they were arranged by a destructive tornado (Kuroko remembered placing them neatly), only half-filled with water and the most important thing.

The goldfish was missing.

Kuroko scrunched his eyebrows together, trying to think up of a logical explanation on why the goldfish was missing but pinched the bridge of his nose instead. "I didn't think the goldfish was actually capable of leaping out of the water..."

Was it as suicidal as Kagami said?

But if it leapt out, a nagging voice at the back of his mind spoke, then where is the goldfish? Or more importantly, why are there water droplets leading to the extra room?

Kuroko cursed at the voice for making him curious and igniting his desire to find out why even further because he didn't feel like impersonating Sherlock Holmes in his own home when he was supposed to relax on a day-off.

Walking along while following the trail, he wondered why there trail of water continued further because even if the goldfish managed to leap out of its container and flip-flopped several meters across, it would've died from the lack of water, stopping the trail by now. But there was no goldfish in sight and he was no where near the end of it.

Seeing that the trail ended in front of the extra room, the room used for guests (but he never had any guests besides Kagami and even then, Kagami slept on the couch at the living room because he didn't like Japanese mattresses which were futons and Kuroko wasn't going to waste money to buy a bed he would only use once in a blue moon), he turned the doorknob clockwise (it's wet as well, he noted) and entered the room.

The extra room was practically empty, save for the few tape-sealed cardboard boxes that never breathed the air in the apartment as a result of a very busy-slash-forgetful Kuroko that neglected to open and unpack the contents, two wooden bookshelves that contained his half of his entire book collection (the other half was in his own room), a built-in closet that contained all the extra blankets, pillows, bedsheets and pillow covers. Apart from that, the room mainly comprised of an infinite amount of dust that was piling up in the room thanks to the fact that the writer never cleaned the room.

Nothing in the guest room seemed out of place, except...

The bathroom door was opened for the world to see and in the bathroom, there was a handsome red haired man in the bathtub that was obviously naked to anyone with a pair of eyes and a fully-functional brain.

Kuroko stared.

The nameless red haired man, noticing the stare based on the way his shoulders tensed to show his discomfort, turned to Kuroko to return a stare of his own and raised an eyebrow to assess the supposed stranger (though for Kuroko, the roles were reversed). His heterochromatic eyes, red and gold, then lit up, showing an extent of recognition after identifying Kuroko and smiled charmingly.

Needless to say, that smile was not working on a very confused and alarmed Kuroko.

.

.

"Who are you?"

.

.

Review and thanks for reading!