A/N: Woo! An Agents of SHIELD ficlet thingy drabble!

If you're looking for Fitz's rock bagpipes, just search "The Lost" by the Red Hot Chilli Pipers and there you go.

I think I made Fitzsimmons a bit OP in this, but that's because I'm British, dammit, and they are the best characters ever.

No, I really don't like One Direction, thank you for asking.

I don't own Agents of SHIELD, or any music mentioned here, or the Red Arrows stunt team, or the Blue Angels stunt team, or the Vulcan M134, or the M4A1. Phew. Disclaimers are tiring.

Medley

It really started as an idle discussion; one of those customary arguments about who's music was better. Skye, in a sudden flash of inspiration, suggested they each got control over all music on the Bus for one day, and conclusions were to be drawn at the end of the week.

Coulson doesn't quite know how it blossomed from that to a weekly occurrence, but he's glad it did.

Mondays are his time: when he can sit back and relax to the soothing sound of his many and varied Phil Collins and Phil Bailey albums (further reinforcing the idea that men named Phil are God's finest hour) without fear of interruption. On such a Monday, the Bus takes on a mellow, laid-back attitude and no-one really fights about anything at all. The jazz is just that powerful.

On Tuesdays, the horror that is Skye is unleashed upon the poor sound systems. For such a pseudo-anarchist, she is remarkably mainstream in her musical tastes; One Direction and Westlife and Rihanna echo through the plane and the rest of the team cringes. May flies with ear defenders on; Ward systematically drinks all the Scotch in the vicinity, begging for the unbearable noise to stop; and Fitzsimmons barricade themselves in the lab and pointlessly drill large pieces of metal with blunt screwdriver ends slotted into an M134 minigun. They maintain it sounds better than Skye's "music" and were – of course – the first to make the compulsory "how do five gay men walk" joke in the hacker's presence. Coulson hides in one of the Lexus pursuit vehicles and daydreams about the fish tank.

Wednesdays belong to Ward and his slightly eclectic rock tracks.
Skye physically bursts into tears every time "You Give Love A Bad Name" plays and apologises unrelentingly when "Mr Brightside" is even mentioned. Ward, Coulson and Fitzsimmons have to take a good ten minutes just reassuring her that they all forgive her and promise not to hate her.

Coulson gets a laugh every time he stumbles upon Ward playing air guitar absently on an M4A1 assault rifle in the vehicle bay.

Fitz has the entire Bus dancing to his undeniably Scottish folk-y rock bagpipes on a Thursday, and Simmons breaks out the Velcro-attached billowy skirts that make Skye squee in girlish excitement (May describes them as "strangely wearable"). As such, Fitz and Simmons dance infectiously happily around the lab with scarily good routines which Coulson suspects were perfected in S.H.I.E.L.D. Basic Training.

They even manage to get Ward and Skye dancing a sort of stilted Highland Fling around the common area, and when May's not flying, the upbeat drums and bagpipes bring a half-smile to her face while she taps her foot and nods her head in time to the music as Fitzsimmons skip circles around Skye and Ward while the Seven Dwarves buzz a superbly choreographed dance – in perfect harmony with Fitzsimmons – like butterflies on a summer's morning.

On a Friday, Simmons puts on her albums by Madness, The Proclaimers and Slade.
For some reason this suddenly makes Fitzsimmons inordinately aggressive towards any foreigners (they have been known to paint immense Union Jacks on the plane's wings and radio "Two world wars and a world cup" to any passing German aircraft, much to both Director Fury and Coulson's consternation) and speak in "English English" all day; which leads to a very confused Skye, Ward panicking about getting blown out of the sky by angry Germans, and May shaking her head sadly and leaving the room.

Coulson doesn't mind (much): it's a nice change.

May gets two days – Saturday and Sunday – because Skye pointed out that she likes the quiet and it probably wasn't a good idea to aggravate the proverbial Cavalry.
So, there is usually peace and quiet on the Bus over the weekend, unless May "accidentally" gets into a aerobatics competition with three Red Arrows and a Blue Angel (which happens a lot more than it should), in which case the "FASTEN SEATBELTS" sign flicks on and then May plays "Come Fly With Me" or the theme from Top Gun (and, in fact, any flying-related songs at all) as loud as possible through every speaker on the plane while she pulls a full barrel roll in a multi-million-dollar six-engined Mobile Command Centre at 30,000 feet.

The weekends are always Coulson's favourite.