A/N: Hey guys! I'm ALIVE!

Sorry for all my broken promises. I had exams and now they're over, so I can get back to writing. I really should continue my other fics but this idea was bugging me through the whole of exams and well it had to be written.

I will try and update a chapter for each of my fic as soon as possible. I'll update more frequently, so don't give up on me…please.

I hope you can give this a try and tell me your thoughts.

Thank you. So Much.

The Touch you can't Feel

Chapter 1: So Why?

So why?

Nanoha was never the one to dwell. When she wanted something she would never give up and her determination would eventually bring her to want she wanted. This was especially true when it came to a certain blonde.

She was nine and she had never desired anything. She was content with whatever she was presented with, watching her family and friends safe and happy. She was always the one that wanted nothing for herself but the well-being for the ones she loved, heck, even people who despised her kind nature.

But everything changed when she met Yunno Scrya, the ferret who taught her the existence of magic and her unlimited potential to be something she never thought of. Even then, she didn't really want anything; sure she wanted to save the poor ferret and blindly dived straight into the world of magic, but it wasn't for herself.

But it was the right decision.

It certainly was magic.

That inevitable encounter.

Because, Nanoha met Fate, her fate. As soon as her azure eyes locked onto empty yet alluring burgundy eyes, her life changed, and a graving desire burned within her.

She wanted her. She needed her.

Back then, she never knew what it meant, and her innocent mind decided that the desire was because she wanted to be friends with the girl, save her from her seemingly lonesome life.

Of course, that was part of it. But what she was unaware of was her selfish desire to become closer to the blonde that would inexorably burn brighter with every glance.

She sought all ways to befriend the lone wolf and after insufferable events, and excruciating secrets she succeeded.

They became best friends, secrets were shared and forever was never enough.

But it was not until the first high school year on Valentine's day when Nanoha finally realised her selfish desires involving the one and only person or thing she ever wanted.

Her best friend's locker was stuffed with love letters, which made the brunette clench her teeth in anger. She never understood why or what she was feeling, but that fire within her ignited every time Fate interacted with another and grew stronger each day.

Stumbling into class, it didn't stop. She just stood beside her best friend, while Fate was handed chocolates, one after another in a never-ending line. Each smile Fate flashed to her classmate pained her and suddenly she felt like she couldn't breathe. Her eyes became blurry and she wanted desperately to leave. She could feel the tears welling up, and the last thing she wanted was being seen by the blonde.

But even before that, Fate saw her, and instantly her best friend knew something was wrong.

When they walked home together, Fate consoled Nanoha, unaware of the source of the tears and melancholy. Fate was patient, and respected her best friend's privacy but nevertheless she did everything to make Nanoha smile.

Of course Fate succeeded.

As they walked hand in hand, they passed a cat stuck in a tree. Without hesitancy, the blonde climbed the tree, temporarily forgetting her ability of magic. As the blonde grabbed the cat, she flashed a charming wide smile to Nanoha.

Then it clicked. Nanoha understood.

It was this smile, this kindness, this sensitivity, this selflessness, this beauty, this love for everything that Nanoha wanted for herself.

She understood….she had always loved Fate.

Another life changing event was Nanoha's near death experience. She had lost the ability to walk, even worst….to fly and it took every ounce of her will power to not just give up, and remain with her disability. Her only source of will power was her best friend, who shared tears and pain with her, day and night.

She saw in her eyes of her best friend, that she was more in pain then Nanoha could ever be in. The bags under her best friend's beautiful eyes, the paler face and the sudden lost in weight brought Nanoha back to reality. She couldn't give up, her life didn't belong only to her, it was her family's, friends and most importantly, it belonged to Fate.

Nanoha was never the one to dwell. So why, even after they graduated did she not have the courage to tell her best friend the truth, the truth to why she acted the way she did. The reason why she felt whole, the reason why she was happy.

They shared a room, but more crucially Nanoha shared the same bed as her secret love. As much as it was comfortable, it was painful. Seeing Fate so close every night made her realise what she could lose if she blurted out her secret or the fact that one day, Fate would belong to someone else.

It pained her every day.

So why did she keep it a secret.

Nanoha soon met Vivio, and together with Fate they created a family. It was all she dreamed of, those simple words mouthed by the five year old girl sent shivers down Nanoha's spine every time. Nanoha mama, Fate mama.

They were a family.

But not long after, Nanoha was sleeping in an empty bed every night.

Fate was engrossed in her missions, taking off for months and returning with poorly hidden lacerations and bruises. It broke Nanoha's heart. Every night she would let herself wander into the depths of negativity, crying herself to sleep.

She missed her best friend too much.

So why, hadn't she said anything. Maybe if she said something, the blonde would stay.

She decided to stay silent, sending her lover off to her mission with a pained smile, promising herself that as soon as Fate came back, she would voice everything she had ever wanted since she was nine.

But

That chance never came.

She was too late.

"Fate's not coming back"

Those words didn't register, it never did. She wouldn't let it.

It was raining and it didn't register as to why she was standing in front of a tombstone with her lover's name engraved onto it. It didn't make sense.

Why was the only person she wanted, the only thing she lost in her entire life.

The answer was simple.

It was because Nanoha stayed silent.

I love you.

Maybe if she hadn't dwelled and said those three simple words earlier…

Fate would've never left.

Just maybe.

10 years later.

Picking an illegal parking spot in a hurry, the short haired brunette glanced out her window, faintly making out the figure of her best friend in the rain. It was dark, the moon was out and like every other year, Nanoha sat in rain for the entire day. Her soft blue eyes staring solely on the gravestone in front of her as she whispered soft words while streams of tears descended from her cheeks.

It wasn't a rare sight for Hayate, but it was certainly the most painful one.

The short haired brunette grabbed her umbrella and ran towards her best friend, covering her from the rain. Nanoha didn't turn around, probably unaware of the sheltering.

Hayate looked painfully. Not once since the passing of the blonde, had Nanoha once looked happy. She had tried everything, even insisted on Nanoha and Vivio to live with her, leaving the room, which bought back the harshness of reality. The brunette refused, putting on a brave front at day, but Hayate knew at night, on the bed they once shared, she broke.

Lightning stroke at that instance; bringing Hayate back to Nanoha, who hadn't moved an inch. She set eyes onto the gravestone and then back and Nanoha, then before her thought could process, she looked again at the gravestone.

Her eyes widen.

Fate.

In front of the gravestone was Fate. No, not the engraved name….but Fate, herself, attired in her Barrier Jacket. Her legs were crossed, mimicking Nanoha's posture and her back leaned back onto the gravestone comfortably as if she had been there all day, listening attentively to Nanoha's words.

Hayate gasped.

"F-F-Fattee" The brunette shivered as she pointed to the transparent figure. Her umbrella dropped and was carried away by the wind. Nanoha glanced at Hayate and gave her a stoic look.

"You're here." She stated calmly before setting her eyes back onto the grave.

"N-Nanoha….F-Fate…can you see F-Fate?" Her mouth trembled, not wanting to take her eyes off the transparent figure of her best friend.

"Are you joking with me? Because I'm not in the mood. Hayate." Nanoha gave a tired glare at her and resettled her eyes back onto the grave. "If you're going to make fun of me, please leave."

Hayate didn't know what was more frightening, Nanoha's cold tone, or the figure in front of her.

As her eyes widen, Fate's figure spoke up.

"You can see me?"

Hayate unconsciously nodded, her eyes stayed fixated on to the sight.

She studied those soft burgundy eyes, which sought out Nanoha's before standing up, her feet not touching the ground.

Seeing the soft gaze, Hayate stance relaxed. She wasn't sure but something within that gaze told her that this was Fate…this was the genuine kind Fate who looked at Nanoha with more love than one can muster in their lifetime.

Fate smiled. "Hayate, come with me."

The short haired brunette followed, tears began to well up and she gazed onto the blonde's transparent back.

They settled near a tree several metres away from the gravestone.

The blonde scratched her hair. "Um…I'm Fate. So…don't be scared."

Hayate couldn't contain her laughter. "I know, but I can't help being scared….I'm seeing my best friend, in a different form, but my best friend after 10 years. Of course I'm scared…heck you might even be a devil in disgui-"

The brunette stopped and pinched herself hard.

She wasn't dreaming nor was she hallucinating….right?

"Ghosts aren't real though…" Hayate thought aloud.

"The blonde rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Hayate. If magical girls, familiars' and perverted brunette girls exist, it isn't that surprising that Ghosts do too. "

"Hey! I'm not perverted."

Fate dropped her smile, and her gaze was filled with sincerity as she spoke in a plaintive tone. "Hayate" She brought her eyes towards Hayate's.

"It really is me."

"I know." Wiping away her tears, Hayate snickered. "You were looking at Nanoha with such love it wasn't really that hard."

Her hands reached out to Fate to touch her, but all that she felt was the cold air that travelled towards her heart searing it in pain and grief.

Tears streamed down the brunette's face. "I really missed you Fate….so much."

Fate smiled. "I missed you too. Hayate."

Chapter End

A/N: I hope that was okay.

Okay, I will try my hardest to deliver chapters of my other fics!

See you soon.