Hi there, internet nerds. I've decided that, completely out of the blue, I'm going to post a sadfic. Yay. Hope I don't ruin any days.

Johnlock, character death/suicide. Trigger warning for suicide?

"John, I'm sorry, I sw-" I slam the door in his face. It's not him; this is the third time to this week

I glance at the scissors on the counter.

"John, please, can't you see me?" I hear his words but I can't see him. His voice swims through my ears once again, "John, listen to me, John, I'm here."

I walk over to the counter, reaching for the scissors.

"John, don't you dare!" I hear him again, hear the anguish and fear in his voice; he's figured out what I'm doing, or rather, he hasn't because he's just in my head, "John, PLEASE!" I can feel tears rolling down my cheeks now; his voice sounds just as it always had, but I don't believe it. He's not here.

I pick up the scissors.

"Put them back, John. You don't have to do this." Now gentle, but still twisted and tweaked with worry, "This isn't how it's supposed to end." I'm damn near sobbing now, the sound of my voice reverberating off the walls of the empty flat. His voice comes again: "John, no... We're supposed to be together again. We're supposed to solve crimes together and, and..."

I press the blade of the scissors against my wrist.

"JOHN, LISTEN TO ME!" He's yelling now, maybe even sobbing, but I still don't see him. "John, please... Please don't leave me." It's just another hallucination, ever as before, ever as nonexistent, ever just as sure as the others. But he's not real; he's just a voice in my head, in the dark, in the cold.

I flick the blade up, opening a slit all the way up my forearm.

"NO!" His voice is so broken now, but it's fading. It's just my imagination. It's just me. I'm by myself. Like I have been since...

I hear the crack of a door flying open as I fall to the floor.

"JOHN!" I can feel someone's arms around me now, and I recognize the rough fabric of his coat. "JOHN, NO!"

I look up into the face of Sherlock Holmes briefly before my eyes close.

"John, JOHN, please, open your eyes... John..." I can feel my breath coming with more difficulty every time I draw it in, and just before I fade from consciousness, I hear: "No, please...I love you..."