Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

"I knew I should never have agreed to this!" I huffed, pushing the tree branches out of the way only to have them fly back and hit me in the face. "You had better be right about this direction Kurosaki or I will personally rip off your testicals and sew them to your face."

"Well Kuchiki, I didn't think you had it in you, but I know am even more annoyed with you then when we started," The man following behind me scoffed and blushed the leaves out of his obnoxiously bright hair.

"I told Orihime that having me for a bridesmaid was a bad idea, but pairing me with you? I'm now questioning her sanity!" I shrieked, knowing he hated it when I did that. "If I hadn't listened to you and drank all that beer, we wouldn't have ended up in the Hawaiian jungle to die!"

"Your inability to see your best friend married is what caused you to be in need of a drink you may or may not have taken right from my hand. You can't blame me for that!" He kicked a rock and squealed like a girl when a large centipede crawled from under it.

"Do you even remember what happened after we became drinking partners?" I asked, picking my way through the rocks and decaying foliage. He followed in my footsteps only each one of his strides matched two of mine.

"I think we..." He stopped and stood still, his eyelids squinting while he tried to concentrate and a memory. "Stumbled into the trees. You hit your head."

"Don't look so smug," I hissed, rubbing at the bump on my forehead. I counted up my battle scars. "I also have a cut on my thigh and a bruise that's shaped like Texas on my shoulder."

"My eye is black, my lip is cut and my chest has lots of little cuts on it. Are we comparing or just taking inventory?" He laughed and then grunted when I smacked him in the stomach with a log.