A/N: Ok I wrote this with no plot in mind...truth be told I saw these pics with a blind folded Misaki and a gagged Saruhiko and when I finally understood the message I wrote this...and added with the fact I read of a Akiyama x Fushimi doujin (and well yeah I ship them) and I`ve been listening to Saru`s Character song "I beg you hate" for the 522 nd time (Itunes play count :) it`s pretty accurate)

Please go easy on me! this is my first fanfioc for this pairing and it literally didn`t have a plot! But I always loved MisSaru (Yes Misaki as Top! what? although I know Fushimi is taller and more aggressive...still Yata-kun seems stronger in the physical sense that and...well Fushimi seems like a clingy girl friend at times...but don`t get me wrong! I love Fushimi Saruhiko and his Masochistic side!)

Back story: After the death of Mikoto, Yata Misaki is chosen as the new Red king and as default the leader of Homra. Fushimi on the other hand has finally questioned his actions and sanity and clung to Akiyama and a new cure for himself. Misaki was troubled as to why Saruhiko became to quite, while Fushimi suffers Yata`s blindness.

Warning: self-harm, bit OCC characters and slight AU

Disclaimer I do not own K - project

Blind and mute

Screaming, somehow that is a very tempting action. However it would be a waste of time and energy. After all, men are deaf to the sorrows of other men. Besides, people will see me as loon, and I do not want to humiliate myself. I think captain made an off-hand comment about me being mute, or so he says. I think his lieutenant gave him too much anko.

Mute? a very vague and contradictory comment. I can speak fairly well, but speaking is a waste of time. Why speak when no one cares to listen unless it is for work? Captain should know that by now.

I think the silver king had made the same comment once. Although he takes the form of a high school child his eyes held wisdom, and his comment somehow struck something in my core. But I ignored it, it`s useless and a waste to dwell on trivial things.

Speaking of being mute, it sounds tempting...maybe then I can stop saying his name.

The crow has been agitated for a while now, oddly enough he`s even more angry whenever he saw me. Even when I haven`t done anything. I thought he wanted that.

Stupid crow...

Akiyama said that maybe my silence is affecting the hot headed teen.

Maybe being mute is a good thing, however speaking is a necessity.

Calling his name used to be my lifeline

That little line that ties me to my sanity

Damn ties, damn HOMRA, Damn crow...

Damn Misaki...

Some say that I`m blind, other comment that I`m just stupid -those bastards. I never understood what they imply, as far as I know I can see perfectly. I can see perfectly fine thank you, I don`t need glasses or contacts. And I`m not stupid either! I`m just...a bit... slow

But what do I care what they say! especially that black hound. I`m not blind, nor am I stupid. If you ask me I bet he`s more stupid, this isn`t the time of the samurai`s and the long pony tail is for girls.

But what annoyed me the most was that...that...that Bangs guy! I`m not blind! Maybe he needs to get his eyes checked, I`m not wearing specks like his four eyed captain or that stupid monkey!

speaking of stupid monkey...damn that traitor!

What nerve, he thinks he can annoy me all day everyday then suddenly flick me off! how dare he! I bet he thinks he`s way above me being a blue and all!

stupid monkey!

Maybe he`s the blind one! the hell would he join the blues? HOMRA is more awesome!

and this is his clan, his family...why the hell did he leave!?

He turned a blind eye to all of us!

damn monkey, damn blue, damn traitor...

Damn Saruhiko...

"Fushimi-san?" Akiyama called as he looked at his superior, who was looking at the reports on his table, "Fushimi-san it`s lunch time, will you be leaving?"

Saruhiko stared at his subordinate lazily, his eyes were half lidded and dull. Akiyama frowned before approaching the young man and placing a had on his shoulder. Saruhiko didn`t flinch, he didn`t even acknowledge the comforting gesture, but only remained in his position, his eyes now looking even more dulled than ever. Akiyama noticed how pale the other man and how groggy his movements are.

"Fushimi-san? are you alright?" the man asked, "would you like me to get you some medicine?"

Saruhiko clicked his tongue and shrug the hand off his shoulder, "You`re worry annoys me." he said with a bored tone, his voice held no malice nor any other emotion, "I`m going out." he said plainly as he stood up, picking up his PDA and leaving the older male watching him.

Akiyama stood there for a while, his face was blank but his hands were slightly clenched. His eyes trailed to his superior`s desk before sighing. He cleaned the mess on the table and even wiped the stains with his handkerchief, the proof of what has been running within his superior`s mind.

"Oi Akiyama! Let`s get some lunch!" he heard Domyoji call, the orange haired male was standing a few feet away from him with Hidaka at his side, "C`mon Fushimi-san won`t be having lunch with us like usual so let`s go!"

"In a minute, I`m just cleaning up a little." The other said calmly.

"Your devotion is a bit unnerving." His orange haired colleague said, "but it doesn`t seems to disturb him or Munataka-san, so do what you want." he concluded, "see yeah later!" and he left.

Hidaka made to follow but he turned back to Akiyama, "You know it`s futile but go ahead and waste your time, it`s pretty much keeping him on a leash." and then the other man left leaving the taller to stare at him.

Akiyama chuckled, his devotion seems to also affect his colleagues but he didn`t care. As he finished he took out his own PDA and typed a short message to his superior before joining his friend for lunch. Tonight he will see him anyway, it has become a ritual t them. Tonight his superior will not be his superior, but as Fushimi.

"Yata-chan is something wrong?" Izumo asked casually as he watched their former vanguard slumped on the counter, "You seem upset."

Misaki lifted his head before staring at the bar man. Izumo noted that the teen seems to be either depressed over something or is thinking about something. Nonetheless their crow was acting very out of character. Most of the members of HOMRA noticed the change and quite frankly are upset with it. Misaki shifted his gaze to the window, a sigh escaping his lips.

"Yata-san are you still upset about Mikoto-san?" Kamamoto asked softly, "don`t worry we`re still HOMRA and you`ve recently been chosen as king, so I`m sure we`ll all be fine."

The former vanguard, now king sighed again. Slowly he lifted himself some more, "It`s nothing, it`s not about being king." He stood up and picked up his skateboard from where it lay, "He`s been dead for a over two years now and I`ve been king for a while now...I just have a lot in my mind." He said softly as he walked towards the door, "I`ll be heading out don`t wait up for me."

Izumo frowned, "He`s matured hasn`t he...although he closed himself off."

"...he just needs to think things through..." Anna said from where she was seated, playing with her red marbles. "He just needs time, to get his priorities in check...hes doing his best to be a good king...but he wants to mend broken bonds."

Izumo stared at Anna before smiling, "You read his mind didn`t you? now what have we said about privacy Anna?"

The young girl shook her head, "Yata-san is just sometimes like Mikoto-san, he`s sometimes easy to read and then would shut himself off."

Izumo smiled before returning to what he was doing. Everything was alright for now, they had a new king, just as expected. Everything has been peaceful and Tatara`s murderer has been killed, and Mikoto died with an easy mind- or so he would believe. For now their new king needs to solve his own problems. But they will be there for him, not just as his clansmen but as his family.

'Fushimi-san you can tell me anything, I will listen.
- Akiyama'

Saruhiko clicked his tongue, his subordinate was becoming too intimate with him.

He had nothing against Akiyama, the man was reliable (that and he could dump his work on him) and by all means wasn`t such an idiot or waste of space. He was also the very few people he could tolerate and have a conversation with.

But what annoyed him was the man`s entire dedication to him. Saruhiko felt that the man was wasting his time, wasting his time on things that can never be. Although he would admit having someone completely devoted to you was warming, he hadn`t felt any kind of warmth since middle school when he was with Misaki.
Although Akiyama was giving him warmth, no one could ever take Misaki`s place.

No one.

And that`s what made him stop. His teasing, his fights, his rash behavour. He stopped, because after the death of HOMRA`s king he suddenly realized that his obsession was a waste of him. He was becoming completely dependent on his interaction with Misaki, make it a fight, verbal argument or exchange of insults, he was completely dependent on his interactions with the crow.

Everything revolved around Misaki, everything was about him and him alone. Saruhiko wouldn`t give a damn about what happened to himself, so long as Misaki paid attention to him. And when the crow didn`t, it felt painful, numbing really. And he had to rely to more drastic measures to keep himself in line, his masochistic tendencies showing.

And Saruhiko finally after almost dying a few times did he realize that it was no longer healthy, that no matter what he did his message will never come across the red head. It was a waste of time, it was a waste of breath and a waste of hope. So he opt to keep quite, finally give the teen the silence he so demanded for.
Just like in his HOMRA days Saruhiko will keep quite.

'Yes, being mute was tempting, I wonder if I could remove my voice box.' He thought casually as he walked along the street with no direction in mind.

What Misaki expected when he ran into Fushimi that day was an insult or maybe a taunt. He expected the other to provoke him into a fight and tease him relentlessly. He expected the blood thirsty grin and the sadistic streak in his eyes. He expected the playful tone calling out his name in a sing song voice. He expected Fushimi Saruhiko to provoke him, like usual.

But just like these past few days Scepter 4`s third in command silently acknowledge him and walked passed him.

Misaki had to blink a few times before he realized that his ex-best friend had basically ignored him again. Had deliberately walked passed him without another word or insult. Had avoided him and barely acknowledge him. The other was walking away from him again, away from him, his enemy, his rival., his ex-best friend.

And Yata Misaki did not like that, not one bit.

He felt pissed, annoyed and completely utterly angry. Why was the monkey avoiding him now? why was that traitor treating him as if he didn`t exist? Just a few weeks ago Fushimi Saruhiko was calling him an idiot king and bad mouthing Mikoto-san and then all of a sudden he`s ignoring him.

That did not bode well with Yata Misaki, that did not bode well.

And and angry Misaki was an unpleasant one. He felt his flames showing, His red flames he inherited when he became king. His anger was feeding his flames power, making them more powerful. He bit his lip, trying to calm himself, he was a king now and he has to be rational.

So he did the best thing to do in situations like these.

He ran after Saruhiko, grabbed the other`s shoulder forcefully and dragged him to the nearest alley before he - not so gentle- slammed the other at the wall, facing him.

They were going to talk, whether the other wanted to or not.

Saruhiko blinked back the lights that danced his vision. The back of his head had hit the wall rather hand and he admits that he felt slightly distorted. Misaki was not a gentle person when he wants to be but this is rather extreme. What he did he do to piss him now?

"Misaki? what the hell?" he said lamely as he tried to collect his thoughts.

Misaki frowned when the other said his name like that. Normally it would in playful tonw with lines like 'did you miss me that badly Misaki~?' or maybe even, 'so eager to see me?'. He he felt somewhat angry, annoyed, frustrated, sad and depressed even. but he can`t explain why but seeing Saruhiko acting this way towards him, without the other taunting him, annoying him, paying attention to him, seems to make him feel like utter shit.

"What are you planning?" he ground out as he glared at the other.

Saruhiko blinked a little, confused as to what the other was talking about. "I have no idea what you are talking about Misaki." he replied flatly, "I haven`t done anything these past few weeks to wager your temper."
And Misaki growled, "that`s the problem you stupid Monkey!" he snapped, "For years you`ve done nothing but provoked me and then all of the suddenly you are acting like a behaved little dog!"

Saruhiko stared at the other for a while before replying, "Ins`t that what you wanted," he said, "to leave you alone and never annoy you again."

"And you`re listening now!? what the hell!?"

"I have no idea why are you angry about it, after all you should be happy that I`m leaving you alone."

"The hell do you think you are?! you think you know me huh?!"

"Look just let me go my break will be over in a-"

He didn`t finish that sentence because his PDA rang. Misaki was staring at the other as well. Saruhiko sighed before slapped Misaki`s hand away from his collar to answer his call. Misaki glared at him as he pulled the device from his pocket.

"Put it on speaker, I want to know whatever you are planning." he said, he knew it was a lie but for some reason he wanted to know who was interacting with Saruhiko during his break.

Saruhiko sighed, "And why would I do that?" he asked in his ever bored tone.

"Just do it stupid Monkey!"

Feeling tired and and slightly sore he obliged and pressed the speaker call button before saying on the PDA, "Fushimi speaking."

"Fushimi-san? It`s Akiyama." The person from the other line replied.

"Akiyama?" Saruhiko said with mild surprise, "why are you calling at this time of the day."

"I was worried Fushimi-san, you seemed a bit out of it and I was wondering if maybe I should have escorted you to the infirmary."

Saruhiko sighed before he replied, "Your worry is not necessary, in fact it`s annoying and so stop it." he said in an irritated tone.

Misaki watched them interact and the longer he watched and listened the angrier he got. All he got from Saruhiko today was flat lines in that bored tone and yet this person was able to get a little bit of emotion in Saruhiko`s voice. How dare that person!?

Saruhiko heard the other chuckle, "You left a bit of mess on your desk and I had to clean it up, will you come tonight?"

Saruhiko sighed, "Fine later-"

Before he could finish Misaki grabbed his phone and ended the call. Saruhiko was about to reprimand him when the other grabbed his collar and for the second time that day slammed him on the wall. He was going to end up with a concussion by the end of the day if Misaki won`t stop.

"Who was that!?" Misaki demanded, "Who was that huh? who was he and why are you all buddy-buddy with him?!"

Saruhiko hissed when his head throbbed before replying, "Akiyama a colleague." he said simply, "Now please let me go, my head hurts and my break is almost over."

"You are not going anywhere you damn monkey!" the ex vanguard snapped, "You will stay here and answer all my god damn questions you bastard!"

Saruhiko clicked his tongue, "fine whatever." he mumbled tiredly, he just wanted to rest now.

"First things first why the hell aren`t you annoying me?" the hot headed king asked.

"Simple it was was tiring and a waste of time." Saruhiko replied, "And besides it`s childish."

"Childish my ass, your change in behavior is bothering me and I want to know why!" the other snapped.

"Why do you care?" Saruhiko questioned, "I can`t understand you and how your logic works. Now let me go."

"No! Not until you tell me!"

"Fine because I`m tired of this." The other replied, "I`m tired of this fruitless fights and interactions."

Misaki stayed silent for a while, processing the given information. Wasn`t he the same before, tired of all the insults, taunts and provocations? and if so why was he looking for the monkey when he wasn`t around, It didn`t make any sense to him. He was a traitor, he shouldn`t care and yet here he was looking for him.

"Now if you will excuse me I have to go before Akiyama worries about me." the blue said, "man my head hurts..."

Misaki`s eyes snapped back to him, his anger burning again.

"What mess was he talking about?" his voice was low, "what was he talking about?" his brain flying to all the different possible scenarios and none of them were pleasing.

Saruhiko stiffened, he will not show him, no. Akiyama already knows and he has to endure the man`s worry and as for Yata Misaki, he didn`t want his pity.

"None of your business!" the other snapped, he finally found the strength to struggle, "Now let me go!" he demanded as he clawed the other`s hands arms in an attempt to make him let go.

Misaki was not expecting that reaction and it made him suspicious, "Tell me you stupid monkey!" he demanded, "TELL ME!"

And that`s when they started to struggled, try to dominate for control. Saruhiko was not expecting Misaki to be stronger but then again Saruhiko was more brain than brawn and Misaki has always been more filled than he was. Plus with his new 'medicine' he was becoming weaker.

Saruhiko threw kicks, punches and bites at him but Misaki did his best to hold the other down. He was getting answer to both his questions for Saruhiko and himself. And he was not letting the other man run free.

Finally after what seemed like forever the winner was Misaki who was able to pin the other down. Saruhiko`s hands are pinned at either side of his head with Misaki`s stronger hands gripping his wrist. To stop his from kicking Misaki place his knee in between the other`s legs. Although their pose was slightly erotic it at least got the other man to stop struggling.

"So tell me now before I used force!" he said as he emphasized by gripping the other`s wrist tightly.

Saruhiko winced, he was gripping them to hard, "Don`t grip them too hard you idiot."

"Why so that you can-" Misaki blinked as he felt something wet on his palm.

Saruhiko froze when he felt something wet slowly trailing down his arm. His secret was found out, by Misaki no less. His cure, his medicine and his most drastic measure was found out, by Yata Misaki, his ex-best friend no less.

Slowly Misaki removed his hand from Saruhiko`s right wrist and stared at his now bloodied hand. He grabbed the other`s arm and stared at his wrist, the wrist he always wore had a darker patch on it it now which he would assume was blood. Carefully he removed it and stared at the now scarred wrist. There was the reopened one, deep and bleeding sluggishly. Misaki also noticed older cuts, some overlapping the others. Some seem shallow, others seems deep. Misaki was transfixed at it.

Saruhiko sighed before gently retracting his arm.

"Do you see why I didn`t want to tell you?" he asked softly.

Misaki`s head snapped to him, his voice barely a whisper, "why? why Saru?" he asked, his mind still distorted by what he saw.

"Because you`re blind Misaki..." Saruhiko whispered, "and I`m too mute to express myself..."

Saruhiko gently pushed the other away from him. Misaki remained frozen, his eyes were large with disbelief written all over them. Saruhiko couldn`t bare to face, not when he finally saw what he has been doing to himself.

He started to walk away but a hand grabbed his wrist.

"Saruhik-" Misaki started but Saruhiko cut him off.

"Stop it Misaki!" he snapped, "You`re blind and I`m mute let`s just leave it that way and live our lives as usual in this oblivious world were pain is everywhere!" and tugged himself free before hurrying away from the scene.

Misaki stood still, the soiled wristband still tightly clasped in his hand.

Later that night, their usual routine. Akiyama sat on his bed reading a random book, waiting for his guess to arrive. It was their ritual, their nightly ritual and Akiyama was always eager for it. As a few more minutes passed slowly the door opened and Fushimi entered. Without saying a word he approached the other side of the bed and crawled under the covers.

Akiyama gently laid the book on the bedside table, next to the book was the first aid which he opened and took out a few rolls of bandages. Carefully he took the other mans wrist and looked at the damage of the day. Fushimi remained silent as the other wrapped his scars before placing a gentle kiss on the bandages.

Saruhiko`s breathing was somehow erratic as he fought to remain calm. Akiyama laid down next to him, gently pulling the other man close and held him. The third-in-command tried to gripped his emotions and calm down. Patiently the older male whispered reassurances and soft words into other`s ear.

The other didn`t speak nor explain why he was acting the way he is, but to Akiyama it was alright. It was alright as long Fushimi was slowly healing, even just a little part of him should heal, it was alright. Even if he knew everything he has doing and is willing to do will be for naught, it was alright, because it was for his superior, his Fushimi-san.

"Why waste your time Akiyama?" Fushimi whispered suddenly. He held unto the other`s clothes loosely as he asked again, "Why are you wasting your time on me?"

Akiyama smiled sadly, "I will not lie, It is because you hold my deepest affections Fushimi-san." he said bluntly, "I will admit I do not expect you to return them, however I will happily be your pillar until you can stand again." he added, he pressed gentle kiss on the other`s temple.

Fushimi remained silent, he wanted to be selfish and relish the attention he craved. The attention and love his crush won`t give him. Can`t he see how much pain and suffering he brought him, was he blind to the needs he desperately needs. Akiyama was trying to heal him, but the pain left scars, scars that will forever haunt and hurt him.

Akiyama remained silent as he relish the other in his arms. The other man was rather cold but Akiyama felt quite overjoyed. He knew this was temporary, an illusion of something he wanted, however he will hold unto it, he will hold on until it vanishes. He held the other as the black haired man fell asleep, his breathing steady and comforting.

Yatagarasu was a blind man to have not seen the pain he put Fushimi in, however Fushimi-san was mute when it came to his feelings and pain.

Akiyama relish this little moment, these moments when Fushimi will try to open to him. He was not blind not deaf to Fushimi`s suffering but he numb to pain he felt in his heart.

However he will be the pillar Fushimi can use, the support he can rely on and the voice he doesn`t have.

After all he wasn`t blind to his superior's suffering and he will willingly be the voice of his important person.

a/n: Please forgive the typographical errors and the grammatical ones...my Microsoft word is being rather difficult so I had to use my word pad which doesn`t check for spelling...so I also apologize from misspelled words...

Anyway if you`re wondering why in the last part I used Fushimi instead of Saruhiko, well it`s because it was in Akiyama`s point of view or well to be precise it was his part of the story.

Anyway this might not be continued...since well this is basically out of whim and purely by compulsion (added by the fact that I wrote this when I was supposed to be studying for my biology exam)...well at least it ran into something that resembles a plot...hahaha anyway go easy on me