5th December 2013

Warning: Grammar errors, Spoilers, Out of Characters, Original Character and Alternate Reality.

Disclaimer: Katekyou Hitman Reborn belongs to Akira Amano, but this fanfiction belongs to me.

Summary: When Tsuna and the others were resting after the battle with Byakuran to save the future, they found out a secret Tsuna has been keeping from them, his childhood love story.

Hi everybody, nice to meet you. This is my first time to write Katekyou Hitman Reborn fan fiction. I hope you like this story.

"Man is able to snatch everything except one thing, the last of human freedoms: the choice of an attitude under any given set of circumstances to determine his own path."

Viktor E. Frankl

Consequences of a Choice

Chapter 1. Good Bye Letter.

9 years later.

Tsuna and the others were in the underground base resting while waiting for the preparation to return to the past. Tsuna and his guardians were sleeping while Kyouko and Haru were in the kitchen chatting with I-Pin and Bianchi after they were done cooking for everyone.

"Hahi, Haru was so excited to go back to the past again," Haru exclaimed.

"Yes, I was excited too." Kyouko nodded happily.

"I am glad you can return safely," Bianchi said.

"We, home," I-Pin said.

They continued to talk happily, but suddenly Haru frowned and seemed to be in deep thought.

"What's wrong, Haru-chan?" Kyouko asked worriedly.

"Haru has been thinking since this is the future. Then, did Haru get to become Tsuna-san's wife?" Haru said with dreamily face.

"Now that I think about it, I was also curious. Did Tsuna-kun have a girlfriend yet?" Kyouko said curiously.

"As far as I know, he never gets a girlfriend, more like he never tries to get one," Bianchi said.

"Hahi, so Haru isn't Tsuna-san's future wife. Or Haru just has to wait a bit longer." Haru concluded.

Dino and Fuuta suddenly entered the kitchen. Bianchi looked at them calculatingly.

"You know, they might know something about it. They are Tsuna big and little brother after all." Bianchi said with a gleam in her eyes.

"That's right." Kyouko and Haru said together.

Dino and Fuuta looked at them nervously. Dino was about to ask what they mean, but he tripped. The other sweatdropped.

Fuuta decided to ask instead. "What do you mean, Bianchi-nee?"

"We want to know about Tsuna's Love experience," Bianchi answered.

"Huh?" Fuuta and Dino said.

"Will Haru become Tsuna-san's future wife?" Haru asked excitedly.

"Did Tsuna-kun have a girlfriend yet?" Kyouko asked curiously.

Dino laughed nervously. "Don't worry ladies. My Otouto (Little Brother) is still single and available."

"So, you also know nothing of his Love experience, what a clueless Aniki (Big Brother)." Bianchi sighed.

Dino sulked in a corner while mumbled. "I am not clueless. Tsuna was just not interested in something like that."

Everyone else sweatdropped.

"Fuuta seemed to know something about it."

Everyone was startled with Reborn sudden appearance. They processed what he said and turned to Fuuta.

Fuuta was nervous with all of the attention placed on him.

"Umm, can we forget about it? Tsuna-nii won't be happy if I told you about 'it'." Fuuta said nervously.

"So, something interesting did happen," Reborn said.

Fuuta's face was paled. "Oh, it's nothing important." He looked around. "Do you know where Tsuna-nii is? I have something for him."

"Hmhm, what's this?" Reborn was holding a big envelope in his hand.

"GAH, Reborn-san, don't open it," Fuuta exclaimed with panic.

Everyone attention was turned to the envelope, while Fuuta looked pale in panic.

"Reborn-san, please don't open it, this envelope is very private, even I never read it," Fuuta begged.

"So, this envelope isn't yours, which mean this envelope belongs to Tsuna since you said you have something for him." Reborn calmly said.

Fuuta looked even paler than before.

Reborn smirked in the satisfaction that his theory was correct. Of course, he is never wrong.

In a panic, Fuuta shouted. "PLEASE DON'T OPEN IT. THAT IS A LETTER TSUNA-NII WROTE FOR HIS LOVER." He widened his eyes and clapped his mouth shut after he realized what he said.

Everyone else in the room was stunned (even Reborn, but he did not show it).

"Haru wants to see it desu," Haru said excitedly.

"But, Haru-chan, that would be rude to read someone else letter," Kyouko said.

"Who would have thought that no-good student of mine has a lover, not even Dino has one," Reborn commented.

Dino sulked at hearing Reborn's comment, but also curious about the envelope.

Fuuta knelt down. "Please, I beg you, don't open it. Tsuna-nii will be devastated. He has been keeping 'her' a secret from everyone for so long. Please, don't do this to him."

Everyone, but Reborn looked guilty and hesitated.

"So, Tsuna keeps this girl a secret from everyone, for how long exactly?" Reborn asked.

"They already in a relationship even before you become Tsuna-nii's tutor," Fuuta answered instantly, but he widened his eyes in horror. "Oh no. No more information from my mouth!"

Reborn smirked. "So then, the girl isn't someone we familiar with, which mean she isn't Kyouko or Haru. This girl most likely Tsuna's childhood friend, but he didn't have any friend when I become his tutor. Then, Tsuna must be keeping her a secret from before that time. I am impressed he manages to keep it a secret for this long."

Fuuta seemed to be in his own world while mumbled. "Forgive me, Tsuna-nii, Byakka-nee. Forgive me Tsuna-nii, Byakka-nee. Forgive me..."

Everyone else listened to what Reborn said, but then turned to Fuuta when they heard what he said.

"Byakka-nee?" Dino asked.

"Tsuna-kun has a lover!" Kyouko said in surprised.

"NO," Haru shouted in disbelief.

Fuuta snapped out of himself and retrieved the envelope while everyone was distracted. He ran away quickly and shouted. "Forgive me Tsuna-nii, Byakka-nee."

Everyone else in the kitchen was stunned except Reborn. Reborn was looking at some papers in his hands.

"Haru can't believe it. That's impossible." Haru said with tears.

"Otouto, why did you never tell me?" Dino sulked.

"What do you have there, Reborn?" Bianchi asked after noticing the papers in reborn's hands.

"I took this from the envelope before Fuuta took it. This is a letter Tsuna wrote addressed to someone called 'Byakka (White Flower)'." Reborn explained.

"Byakka?" Everyone asked.

"It seems Tsuna has a good reason to hide her existence." Reborn continued.

"What a beautiful Love story," Bianchi said.

"You won't call it beautiful after you read this letter," Reborn said.

Everyone else did not know what to say after that.

"I will read the letter out loud, if you didn't wish to hear it, you can leave this room," Reborn said seriously.

They looked hesitated, but they remained in there. They were too curious about what was written in the letter.

Then, Reborn read the letter without hesitation after waiting for a minute.

"To:Byakka

From: Tsuna

I want to thank you for sending all of those letters to me for 9 years. I did burn them because I didn't want to leave evidence, but I rewrote them on my notebook that I kept hidden from everyone else. It was a challenge to keep it hidden, but I manage.

I was really surprised the first time I received your letter at New Year. But then, I became used to it and began to anticipate it. I can even say your letters keep me going every day, and made me look forward to your next letter.

I am really sorry that I never reply even a single one of them. I was ashamed and embarrassed by myself. I was seriously wondering why you keep sending those letters. At first, I thought you will stop if I ignored it, but of course, I was wrong. The letters will always come at New Years, Valentines, and my birthdays.

It was foolish of me to ignore you and kept you away from my life. I can give you many reasons for whys, but it will be nothing but excuses. But, I can't help but hope that you will accept those excuses. You have always been the normal aspect of my life, besides my mother. I want you to remain that way for as long as can be. I know that was selfish, but I can't help but hope.

I have always regretted my decisions regarding you. I regret leaving you. I regret never replying to your letters. I regret not seeing your smile again. I regret not looking after you. I regret not telling you about my situation. I regret not confessing my feeling to you. And I regret that I didn't have the courage to face you, to take you away with me and ask you to become my life partner for eternity.

I know I have lost my chance with you. To be honest, I don't want to pursue you because of my situation. But, your letters didn't make it easy. As if they are mocking me for not going after you. I was so frustrated with you, I was tempted to go to you and shouted to leave me alone, but I never did. I ignored you and left you to your own life, if only you do the same for me.

I always thought I was in love with Kyouko even Haru to some extent, I even dreamt to marry one of them. But, after some time passed I realized that I only feel admiration towards them. While I have always feel affection for you, it was before I graduated from middle school that I realized that I am seriously in love with you.

Yes, I know, I was slow. It was actually funny how I realized my feeling. It was when I heard some rumours that someone tried to kiss you by force. You know, I never thought I wanted to kill someone more than that time. What held me back was the news that you hadbackhanded that guy before he got the chance to kiss you. It was really made my day when I saw a big bruise in that guy's cheek. Since then, I began to dream that I get your first kiss and also give my first kiss to you. I woke up in horror and with the realization that I already got over my crush on Kyouko and even Haru. And since then, I began to think more about you.

I thought my feeling to you was only a silly crush. But, I didn't get flustered when I thought about you. Instead, I felt sadness and longing that made me wanted to cry. Each day, I restrained myself from looking at you. Because I was afraid if I saw you I will do something I will regret. My desire to see you grew every day that I could barely control myself. Until one day, when I was in the middle of the class, I asked permission to go to the infirmary, because I might explode if I didn't do something. What that something is? I am not sure.

Imagine my surprise, when I saw you in the infirmary. We looked at each other in the eyes for the first time for 3 years. We didn't talk. We just stared at each other. From one look I could tell that you hadn't changed at all, which made me both happy and sad. I was happy because I was still able to recognize you, and sad because you were still a social outcast just like me.

Then, I saw tears fell from your eyes. That when I noticed both of us were crying. We let them fell because we both understand our silent wish to see each other again. I realized then, that both of us miss each other so badly. That was the last time we saw each other. I manage to learn to control myself since then. I never stop missing you, but I am still afraid to look at you in fear of losing my control, I don't even dare to look at your picture.

You know, I always thought that we have a strange and confusing relationship. We are not close enough to be a friend, but too close to only be an acquaintance. We are not a lover, because we're never dating, but you sent me a letter like a lover, also not to mention, you confessed first.

I tell you, your first love confession letter is a shock to me. You sent it on Valentine day when we were 18. My first thought 'What the heck!' my second thought 'Are you kidding me?' my third thought 'I can't believe this', then 'Oh my god, she returns my feeling, but she doesn't know my feeling yet. What should I do?'

Then, I read your letter again and realized some things. You wrote 'This heart of mine was dark and cold for so long without the light of your smiles and the warmth of your touches. You bound my heart when you left me, so my heart won't be able to love anyone else but you.'

Your letters were always short and simple and with a poetic style. At first, it left me confused, but then, I became used to it, surprising isn't it. I even manage to find hidden meaning in it. I know you have always loved literature and words with hidden meaning. That's one of your traits that fascinated me.

After I read your first confession letter over and over again, I realized the hidden meaning behind it. Until now, I am never sure, whether I interpreted your letter correctly because I never confirm it to you. And this one letter with how it arrived at Valentine and at our legal age, I can't help but think that you are asking me to marry you. I was seriously wondering did I am really that desperate for you or was it you.

Speaking of confessing, I always wonder don't you feel embarrassed with the letters you sent? Since each one contained your emotion, whether it was happiness, sadness, anger, love, etc. I have always admired you for that because I can't do it. At least, it can't compare to the embarrassment I felt when I was forced to confess in my boxer twice by a certain tutor from hell.

I am really glad Reborn didn't find out about my feeling for you. If he did, I am sure I will end up in my boxer AGAIN. I don't need that embarrassment again, thank you very much. But, you know I did imagine how your reaction will be if that did happen. Don't misunderstand, I didn't hope it happen, I am just preparing myself if it did happen, because I can always trust Reborn to make my life hell.

When I imagine confessing to you in my boxer, I thought your reaction will be staring at me in shock then brushed aside what happens as if it never happen and asked me 'Aren't I cold?', then you will be wondering all day if I am serious or not, then you will just ignore it ever happen, but still wondering about it sometimes. Yes, that sounds like you.

Sometimes, I wondered what I see in you. Because to be honest, your appearance isn't exactly as beautiful as Kyouko and Haru, but I am certain that I won't trade you for anyone else. And your personality also isn't as friendly as them.

It might be that you're intrigued me. It might be because you're a social outcast like me, so I feel a connection with you. And it might be because you're the only girl who gave me so much attention for so long. But, whenever I wanted to go after you, my common sense will hold me back from pursuing you.

I lost my chance with you and if I ever get a second chance, I will most likely ignore it to keep you away from me. Because, you were, are and will always be the flower of my life that bloom beautifully in my dark life. You are the light that holds back the darkness in my heart that I feel towards the unfairness of the world. You give strength to my resolve to always protect that light. Was it selfish of me to want to keep you away from my life as a symbol of my desire to be with you?

One day, I was surprised when Fuuta confronted me about you. I was shocked and surprised that he knows. Then, he told me that you have always ranked first in both the candidate to be my wife and the woman I love. Thankfully, Fuuta keeps it a secret from everyone else. You know, we also rank first as the sappiest couple. Pathetic isn't it.

I don't even sure why I bother to write this letter, because this letter will never reach you. I guess because I am tired to keep my feeling hidden. With this, at least I can feel a bit better. And maybe, I am still hoping to be free from my regrets and feelings for you. I don't say that I regret meeting youas I said, you are a normal aspect of my life that I won't throw away, even if I was suffering because of it. And no, I am not blaming you for anything.

You said in one of your letters 'Life is full with choices, those choices will change you for the better or worse, you might regret those choices someday, but never forget before making a choice that you should always prepare for the consequences that come with it. If you regret your choices, either fix it as best as you can or deal with it because blaming yourself or others won't change anything.' You know, I can't help but thinking that you were mocking me in that letter for choosing to leave you. Oh, well, at least I always keep what you said to my heart and I can proudly say that I am taking consequences for my choices.

It was pathetic that it takes me this long to write a letter to you, even if you won't receive it. You might ask why now? Why bother? I honestly don't know. But, I get the feeling I will regret it if I didn't deal with it now. It might be because there is still the possibility that I won't survive this war. I already have enough regrets, I don't want to add one more.

If you read this letter I imagine you will cry soundlessly and cursing me in your head. Yes, I still remember the way you like to cry without a sound because you don't like to sound pathetic and you didn't cursing out loud because you don't want to dirty your mouth just to express your anger. I admired the way you can control yourselves like that. I honestly never saw or heard you lost control. But, I did hear a rumour that you cry in front of your class one day. When I heard that, you know how much I restrained myself from running to you, just to see that you're alright or not.

I might never confess my feeling to you, but I get the feeling that you have a clue about my feeling. You know, I really want to tell my past self not to throw away his chance with your past self, like me. But, since he is basically me, he most likely makes the same decision as me. I am such a coward, seriously, what did you see in me?

In this letter, I really want to confess everything from the deep of my heart. I do love you very much. No one can replace you. No woman will I love as much as you if I ever fall in love with anyone else. And honestly, I don't want to marry anyone else but you. Even if you are not beautiful, even if you're an enigma, I won't have you any other way. I know I will always regret my choice to leave you, but my world is too dangerous for weakness. And my flower, you are my weakness. Partly, I am glad I won't have to worry about you anymore, partly, I am sad that I won't have any chance of happiness with you anymore.

I won't be able to forget you and I hope you are the same. I hope you will always wait for me just like how you will always send a letter to me, as if to say 'Don't worry I will always wait for you, until you are ready to face me', but, I never have the courage to face you and I regret that. I am really sorry that I am such a disappointment for you. I am definitely rank first for a mafia boss with the sappiest love story. Yes, Fuuta confirmed it to me.

I remember one of your letter 'Death isn't the end of the world, it just means someone will leave this world before you. Those people will always watch over you and wait for you. So, don't throw away your life for those people, because those people are perfectly content and have all the time in the world to meet you again when the time comes'. I might have commit suicide long ago if not because of this letter.

Sometimes, I was wondering, if I was brave enough to face you, will we be a happy couple. Just like my parent, despite their long-distance relationship. But, I honestly don't want to subject you to that, because, I have seen how sad and lonely my mother was with that kind of relationship. Was it really better like this? You would probably say, there is no such thing as the better option, every option has they up and down. Then, which one will you choose? You probably will choose to support whatever choice I made.

I think it's time for me to say goodbye. I really want to say more, but it will only make me feel guiltier, for not saying it directly to you. When the time comes for us to meet again, I know you will slap me so hard for being stupid, while crying soundlessly and with a red face. That will be cute. I can't wait for it. Not the slap, I can wait for that. Then, I hope wherever you are now that you finally feel at peace and will wait for me. Good Bye My Flower, Byakka."

The kitchen was in silent except for the sound of sobbing. Some people cried openly, while some people cried silently.

I hope you enjoy this story. Please be kind to me and review it. Thank you for reading my fan fiction.

Marmora F. An Nora