A/N: For Melinda with thanks for the story suggestion!

Elaine had never been more disgusted. She'd already been kissed by that creepy kid Adam at his bar mitzvah, as well as Mr. Lippmann. What else must she endure? And she was a shiska! Well, no more. Adam and Mr. Lippmann could take their shiskas and put them where the sun doesn't shine.

Damn, she should have known this would happen. She'd never find the right guy, never. And she'd be single for the rest of her life! She used to be okay with that but now that it was becoming reality, she didn't like it one bit.

Damn…

She was still fuming when she arrived at Jerry's apartment. She wanted scream, to get her feelings out and forget that this whole thing ever happened. She could do that around Jerry. He would understand. He always understood, even when she didn't. Sometimes she couldn't stand him, but she also knew that she didn't know what she'd do without him.

With a smile on her face, she pushed the intercom button.

"Yeah?" His tinny voice called through the speaker.
"It's me."
"Come on up."
She reached his door in record time and walked right through as though she were his roommate. He looked up immediately when he saw her.

"Hey Jerome."
"Hey yourself, Ben-." He paused and looked at her seriously. "What's wrong?"
"Oh nothing. I-oh hell, I'll just say it. Jerry, I'm a shiska!"

"And that's bad because-."
She smirked and put her hands on her hips. "You don't even know what a shiska is, do you?"
"Do you?"

She thought for a moment and shrugged. "Not really, but Jerry, it was disgusting! I was kissed by a thirteen year old and a disgusting man! And not just any man! Mr. Lippmann!"

"Everyone should be so lucky!" Jerry quipped.
Elaine tried to remain annoyed but she couldn't help but laugh. Somehow no matter how ticked off she was, Jerry always knew how to make her smile.

"So, you're in a good mood, especially since you broke up with Patty." Elaine observed. "If you ask me, you were too good for her! She-"

"Elaine-."

He was gazing at her with a look she didn't quite understand.

"Jerry, what are you looking at?"

He took her hand and squeezed it gently. "Sit down Elaine."

Oh no…. Not this again… She'd had more than enough of his uncharacteristic sob story over breaking up with Patty, whom he claimed was the love of his life. And just when she thought things were back to normal, the look on his face returned.

"Oh no, Jerry Please don't cry again. I can't take it." She pleaded.

"I've been thinking about what it means to be complete." He said, rather poetically.

She let go of his hand and rose to her feet, making a beeline for the kitchen. "Got any fruit in here?" She asked, peering into his refrigerator.

"Elaine-."

Happy to be off the subject of love as she spotted the object of her desire on the counter. ""Ah, here we are Ba-na-na!" she said, enunciating the word as though she was a stage actress. She picked it up and began to peel it.

"And all the while, the real secret to happiness has been right here in front of us." Jerry continued.

She took a bite of her banana, sighing at how good it tasted. But then again, anything would have tasted good after eating the crap that was served at the bar mitzvah. She was suddenly aware of his hand in hers, slowly guiding her to the middle of the living room.
"Jerry, what are you doing?"

He squeezed her hand once more and gazed into her eyes. And then he dropped to one knee.

"Elaine-."

Suddenly the door opened.

"Jerry, I found a way to beat Lloyd Braun!" George exclaimed. He froze when he saw Jerry on one knee, holding Elaine's hand. "Jerry, what's wrong with your leg?"

"I'm asking Elaine to marry me." Jerry said, never taking his eyes off of hers.

She stared at him in disbelief, swallowing the rest of her banana in one gulp. "What? Jerry-."

"Oh-kay." George said. "Well, I'll just leave you too alone."

"Elaine, will you marry me?"

Jerry looked so sincere that Elaine's heart began to race. She'd seen that look before, years ago when they had been deeply in love. But now-

"So will you?" He pleaded.

She swallowed hard, feigning innocence. "Will I what?"

"Elaine Benes, will you be my wife?"

"Jerry, I really need to go… now… I'll… just... let myself out."

"I love-."

She slammed the door shut and stood in the hallway, her heart beating wildly. The man had gone completely insane. And there was no doubt about what he was saying as she left his apartment. It was completely ridiculous to even think that she would possibly consider marrying him-or that he would even consider asking her.

So why did she feel so happy?