A/N: This is my first Olicity story. I hope I did them justice... I have to warn you though. English is not my first language. I just can't think about Arrow in any other language. It doesn't feel right. So if you feel obligated to beta my work – please contact me. I would love to have a native speaker correct some of my terrible mistakes, especially with grammar.

That being said – I hope you'll enjoy this story. I would really appreciate you taking a minute afterwards to leave a short review. Thank you so much!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The CW is the author and owner of "Arrow". The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

"It's because of the life that I lead, that I can't be with someone I could really care about."

It had been almost four weeks ago, that they had returned from Russia. But still, his words were haunting her every waking second. Ever since the sentence left his lips and hung heavy in the air between them, it was replaying in her head. She knew that he had meant her. And she knew that he knew, that she was able to read between the lines. Or at least she thought she knew.

What if she imagined it? Sure, they had their moments, but honestly... the most that had ever happened between them were friendly gestures. Oliver would lay a hand on her shoulder to thank her when she managed to hack into a super highly secured data-base or something. Or she would touch his arm to let him know he could trust her and always come to her, no matter what.

These innocent gestures were nothing to go by. How could she assume they had some kind of romantic connection just because they didn't avoid physical contact at all? They were friends. Yeah, that was it. Nothing more. She may have a crush on him ever since he walked into the IT-department with that BS story about spilling a latte over his laptop when it was really littered with bullet holes, but that didn't mean anything. He hadn't shown any signs of affection that went beyond a platonic relationship.

Still, she couldn't stop thinking about his words and what they could possibly mean. Maybe they really meant that Oliver cared about Felicity too much, to put her in harms way.

Turning over in bed for the umpteenth time she decided that this had to stop. She couldn't live her life wondering about unspoken words and trying to read between the lines. If Oliver didn't want to be with her – fine! But it had to be his own decision. He had no right to make a decision for her, though. She glanced at her alarm. It read 11:28 pm. Maybe he'd still be in the Foundry.

Determination flickered up in Felicity's eyes when she got out of bed, grabbed her glasses and put on her worn-out jeans and an oversized sweater. She turned her hair into a messy bun and rushed out of the door.

Oliver had just returned from his last patrol through the glades and stripped out of his Arrow gear. The Foundry was dark and quiet. He liked it when it was like this. He could relax and just try to get rid of the weight he was carrying all the time. All the guilt and self-hatred he felt he had to endure to make up for everything and everyone he ever failed. He really tried to let go of all of it, but it never really worked.

The Foundry was like his safe-house though. Even with Diggle and Felicity here, he could be himself 100%. He didn't have to put up a facade or force a smile or lie to people. He could just be Oliver Queen.

When he shrugged on a button-down shirt he heard the door to the Foundry open. Knowing only Felicity, Diggle and Oliver himself knew the code to open it, his first reaction wasn't to grab his bow and arrows and welcome the intruder with an arrow through his thigh. He turned around, his head hanging low between his shoulders, his body aching from another long and rough day.

"I was hoping you'd still be here..." Felicity said in a careful, gentle tone. She closed the door behind her and started to descend the metal steps into the Foundry.

Oliver lifted his head to look at her. Why would she come here at this hour? Did she forget something? Her purse? A scarf? Or did she forget to turn down her computers? He looked at her with furrowed brows. But the second he really saw her knocked his breath out of his lungs.

He knew Felicity's wardrobe. It had changed over time, from quirky sweaters to nice dresses, but he assumed he knew almost every item she owned. He had never ever seen her dressed like this, though. The casual jeans fit her perfectly. Tight around her hips and loose – but not too loose – from her thighs down to her feet. The oversized sweater was hanging down one of her bare shoulders and it was driving his mind to places he didn't want it to linger for too long.

Felicity was beautiful. He knew that. He's always known it. And she was sexy, too. Sometimes she was just driving him crazy. To be honest – most of the time she was driving him crazy. He never thought she did it on purpose, but maybe that was exactly it. Her innocent behavior combined with her stunning looks and brilliant brain. It was a lethal combination.

Felicity tried to read his expression when he looked at her. Usually, she had no problems reading him. As closed up about his emotions as he was, she could see most of them clearly in his facial expressions or his body posture. But the expression he wore right now... she couldn't figure it out. His furrowed brows meant that he was stressed, or angry. That he was thinking hard about something and that his mind was racing. But the expression in his eyes when he saw her... she couldn't name it.

Oliver tried to regain composure. It irritated him that he lost control over his emotions in the first place. It was a very, very rare occurrence. He looked away from Felicity, took a deep breath and cleared his throat. There, better. "What are doing here Felicity? It's late."

Felicity went from the stairs that led up into the nightclub straight over to Oliver. She was still determined about this. Nervous, but determined. "Oliver?" she addressed him to make him look at her but he didn't. It seemed he needed some more instructions tonight. "Oliver, look at me..."

He turned his head slowly in her direction. Her proximity didn't startle him. He knew she came over to him, he could sense her near presence. Still, laying eyes on her again stirred something in him which he couldn't let happen. What he said to her about a months ago still stood! He couldn't be with her (not that he ever said it like that, but still). He cared too much. It was too dangerous for her to be with him. His enemies would find out and would make her their preferred target to get to him and lure him out. So he pushed all these thoughts in the back of his mind and focused on his previous question. "What is it Felicity? Why did you come back here in the middle of the night?"

Felicity took a deep breath. Okay, here we go... Her nervousness was at its peak now. The fact that his shirt hung unbuttoned over his incredible torso, didn't really help. But there was no going back now. She had to get this off her chest. "Oliver, I'm trying really hard to do this without my usual rambling, so... Phew, this is going to be harder than I thought... where do I start? I should have had this planned better..."

"Felicity?" Oliver said when she paused in her little outburst to take a deep breath.

"Right, no rambling..." she reminded herself. "Okay. Remember four weeks ago, when we came home from Russia." While she spoke, she watched his face carefully. She tried to read his expressions to figure out whether he was saying the truth when it was his turn to talk, or if he tried to cover up his real emotions with one of his lame-ass excuses. When she mentioned Russia, he tensed slightly.

He just gave her a little nod, so she continued. "You told me that you couldn't be with someone you could really care about because of your secret life." She took another deep breath and closed her eyes for a second. When she opened them again she breathed "Did you mean... me?"

A million thoughts and emotions were rushing over Oliver's face in that moment. Felicity could only catch half of them in time because it was all happening in the blink of an eye. Before she could put her finger on one specific emotion she thought she'd seen, it was all gone. His face was back to its blank, stoic self. "Why does it even matter? I told you it would be too dangerous. For anyone." He told her, and turned around to pick up his bow from the metal table next to him and put it back in its case.

"It matters, Oliver. If you meant me, it matters. In fact, it matters for whoever you could have meant because there are always two people involved in a relationship. You can not make this decision for somebody else."

He turned back to face her again. He was angry now. "It's too dangerous Felicity. I thought I made that very clear?!"

Felicity walked over to him and placed a hand on his biceps. Which, again, didn't help at all. She could merely think straight seeing his bare chest under the unbuttoned shirt. Touching him made it even worse. But she had to find a way to get through to him. "You did." She said, looking him straight in his eyes. "But maybe some women wouldn't mind a little danger, to be with you."

"Felicity..." He breathed, his patience running thin. Still holding eye contact he simply said "I just can't..." Oliver left the sentence hanging, but there was now no more doubt, that he meant Felicity. She could see it clearly in his eyes. He let her see it. Felicity knew he wasn't exactly chatty about his feelings so he let her see how he felt.

"Oliver. Do you really think it could get much more dangerous for me, than it already is? I mean, I'm working with you almost 24/7. I was out in the field more than once and I got in some pretty dangerous situations out there..." She could feel his muscles, his whole body tense when she mentioned the danger she had already been in. He looked down at the ground and clenched his jaw. His hands curled into tight fists.

"Exactly my point!" he growled in a low and dangerous voice.

"No. My point..." Felicity answered. "Being with you wouldn't be anymore dangerous for me, than working with and working for you already is. Oliver, look at me again please." She told him and with her free hand, she lifted his chin up carefully.

When he made eye contact with her again, he could see the determination in his eyes. He had to find another out. And soon. He couldn't resist the urge to grab her and kiss her any longer.

"I told you once, when you refused to let me go undercover, that this was my life, my choice. I know the risks, I always knew them. And I'm very aware of the danger, too. But I'm willing to take risks and I'm willing to face danger because I know that I'll always be safe with you." She tried to reason with him. But suddenly, his previously open eyes were blank once again. Felicity tried to recite her little speech in her head to find out if she said something wrong, but she couldn't find anything.

"You know this couldn't work. People know about my reputation with women." He told her in a cold and reserved voice. "I don't really do relationships. Everyone knows it."

Felicity had to swallow. She didn't see this one coming. But the moment he said it, she knew it was just a cover-up. She knew she was getting through to him and when he realized it, he had to find another way, to drive her away. "I don't..."

"Mh?!" Oliver asked confused and raised his eyebrows.

"I don't know about your "reputation" with women." She told him, making little quotation marks into the air with the hand that wasn't still holding on to his arm. "I don't know who you used to be, Oliver. And I don't care. I just know who you are now and that's all that matters. You are a good guy, you care about people and you would kill yourself – quite literally – to help them. I know you don't think very high of yourself, but I do. You are passionate – not in a... sexual way... I mean, not that I know anything about this or that I would assume you are not sexually passionate, I..." Felicity closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. "Three, two, one... you know what I mean with you being passionate. I guess I know you better than anyone else. At least the Oliver Queen you are now. With all your facets and identities. You don't have to pretend or lie when we are together. Everything you have to do now is to decide if you want to be with me. And just for the record, I already made my decision so you don't get to make it for me." She shot him a shy smile and waited for his response.

Oliver's mind was racing. Here she was... standing right in front of him, touching his arm, looking so incredibly beautiful with her casual clothes and messy hair and telling him, that she wanted to be with him, no matter the consequences. He knew Felicity was a strong woman. Maybe the strongest woman – without a screwed up past and secret identities like Shado or Sara – he had ever met. And she was right about everything she said. No one knew him better than her. No one could read him better. He could talk to Felicity like he could to nobody else. Still, the knot in his stomach was always there. What if something happened to her because he let her into his life in every way possible?

"Oliver?" Felicity's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Take off your shirt."

He shot her a questioning look, amusement playing around his eyes.

"No, that was not one of my famous unintended sexual innuendo. That was fully on purpose and it has no sexual background whatsoever. So..." She motioned with her hands for him to get rid of his shirt.

Oliver couldn't hide the small smile that flew across his lips. He was curious about what was coming next, so he took of his shirt and flung it across Felicity's chair.

"Do you trust me, Oliver?"

"Yes!" He answered almost a bit too fast.

Felicity closed the distance between them, her own heart racing inside her chest. She had to get through to him. She knew this was risky, but she didn't come up with a better idea, so it had to be done. "I know you carry a lot of baggage with you. Mostly horrible experiences from Lian-Yu. But none of that was your fault Oliver. It wasn't your fault that the Gambit went down. It wasn't your fault that you had to live on that island for five years. And everything that had been done to you while you were there, isn't your fault either. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Oliver tensed while she was talking. Where was she going with that? She knew he didn't talk about the island much. When they were working on a case that was somehow related to someone on the island or to something that had happened there, he would tell them as much as was necessary. But that was it.

She noticed him tense and to be honest, she expected it. She knew how he felt about talking about the island. Felicity looked at his chest and studied his scars. She picked one and reached out to touch it. When her fingers made contact with his skin, he flinched – but held his stance. Felicity traced the scar carefully. Still lingering on it, she made eye contact with Oliver again. "How did you get this scar?" She asked. "Please tell me..."

"Felicity... I can't..." Oliver breathed.

"You said you trust me. I want to know what happened to you during your time on Lian-Yu. I know 'awful' doesn't even begin to cover what had been done to you and I know that it's still painful to talk or even think about it. But I want to share your pain. I want you to know, that I'm here for you. You don't have to endure all this pain alone anymore." With her free hand, she caressed his cheek and he leaned into the touch immediately. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

About two hours later, Oliver had told Felicity the story behind every single one of his scars. The stories were cruel, awful, inhuman. Some stories made her cry. Cry for him. Cry because he had to experience such horrific things without ever having done anything wrong. He had been punished just for the punishment's sake. Just for "fun". Just because he had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Oliver didn't cry. Felicity hadn't expected him to. But she felt him relax a bit after every scar and every story.

The last scar had been on one on his back. Wiping away one last tear, she walked around him. She looked him in the eye and what she saw there shocked her. The heavy clouds always hovering over his soul and into his eyes, were gone. His eyes were shining with deep gratitude and admiration. She had to swallow at the intensity of his stare.

"Thank you... for sharing this with me." Felicity said after a moment.

"No, I have to thank you. No one has ever done anything like this for me before." Oliver told her and pulled her into a careful embrace. He rested his chin on the top of her head and closed his eyes.

"You are welcome." She whispered against his chest. They stood like this for a few minutes and neither of them bothered to change anything about it.

"You know..." Oliver said eventually, "You told me earlier, that you would take every risk and face the danger this life brings upon you because you know you will always be safe with me. "

Felicity lifted his head and leaned back a bit to look at him again. "Yes..."

"You rescue me too, you know?! Every day. Every time I think I'm losing it. When I see you or hear your voice over the intercom, it always brings me back. You are my anchor Felicity. My constant." This time, Felicity's tears weren't sad tears. She didn't know where Oliver was going with this, but admitting that she rescued him too was a big step for him and she was very touched by it. "And I know that you are strong, but I can't ask you to be in harms way all the time just because I was selfish enough to want you in my life in every possible way. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to you."

"Oliver... Like I said. That's not your decision to make. It's mine. And I'm willing to take that risk. I'll train harder so I can defend myself properly. You just have to let me in..."

Oliver's mind was racing once again. He was still fighting an inner battle whether or not to let this happen. He knew, as soon as he did, he would be lost. He would fall for this woman completely. Head over heels. There was no going back.

Felicity saw his inner turmoil, could sense the battle he was fighting with himself. She studied his eyes carefully. Suddenly, she saw something raw in them. Something she'd never seen before. His eyes were glowing fiercely. They were an even brighter blue than usual. Lust. He wanted her. She could see it clearly. Still, he was making a pro and con list in his head about the danger he was putting her in by being with him.

She couldn't take it any longer. The lust was still there in his eyes. Before it could vanish, she removed her arms from around his torso, placed her hands on his cheeks and kissed him with everything she had.

The kiss took him totally by surprise. Sure, he wanted her. How could anybody not want her? But could he be that selfish? He wasn't done making his decision yet. So Felicity took matters into her own hands. With this kiss, his fate was sealed. He would forever be hers. Before the kiss, he could have been able to summon the strength to keep his distance to her. Like it had always been between them. They were close, but not too close. But now... There was no way he could keep her at arms length after this.

It took him a second to return the kiss. But when he finally did, Felicity sighed in relief. The kiss was nothing like she'd expected it to be. She thought he would be kind of rough, demanding, all consuming. But this was even better. Oliver was kind, tender, desperate and... loving?! He never let any room for doubts. This kiss was everything Felicity had ever hoped for. It was a true commitment. There was absolutely no doubt about either one of their feelings anymore. Both of them were pouring every single emotion they had, everything they felt for each other in this one kiss.

When they broke apart eventually to catch their breaths, they rested their foreheads against each other, just breathing the same air. Feeling each other, almost tasting the other's breath.

Felicity was the first one to speak – of course. "So... I take this as a 'yes'?" She asked him with a shy smile playing across her slightly swollen lips.

"I'm still not very pleased about what this could mean for you and your safety." Oliver answered, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Oliver. I don't think I could be any safer, than when I'm with you. And the way I see it, I will be spending much more time with you from now on..." She smirked, then rose one of her eyebrows. "Huh... I didn't think that would even be possible. I mean, we're already spending almost every waking minute together as I'm your PA at Queen Consolidated and your hacking genius at night so..." She started to ramble again but Oliver cut her off mid-sentence.

"Felicity... just shut up!" He smirked and kissed her again. When he pulled away he said "I'm more looking forward to the 'sleeping minutes' with you... or the time right before that, to be exact." He said with a wink.

Felicity had to swallow... right... sex with Oliver Queen. Not that she had never imagined what that would be like. She was a grown up woman with no problems with sex or anything but... the prospect of REALLY having sex with him made her very nervous. She knew it was silly, but the butterflies in her stomach slowly turned into condors.

"By the way..." Oliver's low voice snapped her out of her little panic attack. "I don't think you've ever looked more beautiful than tonight."

Felicity looked down at what she was wearing. What on earth made her choose this outfit? The only time she dressed like that was to snuggle into her couch with a cup of hot chocolate and watch some girly movies or TV shows. "Yeah... right..." She scoffed. "Sorry about that."

"No, I mean it. It suits you. It looks natural on you." The way he looked at her left her breathless. He really meant that. Felicity ran out of things to say... Well, that was a first.

After she lost herself in his intense gaze for a moment, she tried to regain her composure. "You... um... you wanna come to my place?" She asked him, insecure if this was even appropriate after they had been doing this dance for almost two years now. "Stay the night?"

Oliver looked down at her and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. "I would love to... but I don't know if it's the best idea. I still got nightmares every night. Some of them are really bad..."

Felicity knew about his nightmares. Sometimes, when he fell asleep in the Foundry, he woke up screaming and had trouble to catch his breath. She never mentioned anything, though. "That's okay. I'll be there. Everything will be fine. " She assured him.

"In that case, I should probably put my shirt back on." He said, grabbing his shirt and shrugged it on. Felicity was quick to button it up.

"Come on, let's go..." She gave him another kiss and took his hand. He intertwined his fingers with hers and smiled down at her contentedly.

"This feels nice..." Oliver said and glanced down at their hands.

"It does."

The next morning when Felicity woke up, Oliver was still fast asleep next to her. She glanced at her alarm. 8:30 am. Luckily it was a Saturday, so they didn't have to be at QC today. Felicity let last nights events replay in her head. She let her head fall back into her pillow, grinning from ear to ear. Glancing at Oliver again, she felt she'd never been happier in her entire life. The one time, when she decrypted a particularly difficult code made a close 2nd place though. Oliver Queen was here, in her bed. Sleeping peacefully beside her. Oliver Queen was her... boyfriend. It sounded a bit weird in her head, but she loved the thought of being his girlfriend.

Felicity glanced down at his body which was only partially covered by her bed sheets. His body was perfect. She didn't even see his scars anymore. For her, he was perfect like he was. Body and soul. Looking at his bare chest, her mind brought her back to when they arrived at her apartment together.

She guided him towards her bedroom and as soon as they set foot in it, he spun her around, kissed her, cherished every inch of her soft skin while kissing his way over her face, her neck, her whole body. Again, Oliver surprised Felicity. She expected their first time to be urgent. They waited for each other quite a long time after all. And boy, she was impatient. But he took his time. He was careful, tender, yet determined and demanding and it was just consuming both of them.

When it was over, they couldn't have been happier. Oliver was more relaxed than he had been in a long time. And his mind wasn't racing. He felt like he didn't have to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. At least he didn't have to carry it alone anymore. When Oliver noticed that Felicity was driving off into sleep, he kissed her one last time. "Good night Felicity." He whispered.

"Good night Oliver." She whispered back. "And don't be afraid of your nightmares. I'm here, you'll be safe."

Oliver chuckled to himself. That was probably the cutest thing Felicity had ever said to him. He fell asleep with a light smile on his lips.

Felicity had watched him sleep for almost an hour, when he slowly woke up. He stretched himself luxuriously and when his eyes opened, they found Felicity's immediately.

"Hey sleepyhead..." She greeted him. "How did you sleep?"

"What time is it?" He asked, suddenly wide awake.

"Um..." Felicity glanced back at her alarm. "It's 9:20 am."

Oliver's eyes widened in shock.

"What is it, Oliver? It's a Saturday, you have no meetings today." She told him, placing a hand over his cheek and caressing it softly with her thumb.

"It's just..." He looked at her again. "I never sleep longer than 6 am."

Felicity smiled at him. "And as far as I can tell, you had no nightmares, right?"

"I guess not..." He looked confused.

Snuggling closer into his chest Felicity chuckled. "I told you you'd be safe with me." Oliver wrapped his arms around her to pull her even closer.

"I can not thank you enough Felicity. I thought if I let you in, my darkness would consume you and eventually break or even destroy you. But I was wrong. Your light is much stronger than my darkness. It illuminates everything and everyone close to you. I've had nightmares every single night for years now. They started on the island and I continued to have them when I returned to Starling City. But with you... there was nothing else than blissful sleep. I'm sorry I was such a fool for trying to keep a distance between us." He kissed her head softly.

"You're welcome..." she simply replied and pressed a kiss to his chest. "...and forgiven."

Oliver smiled. She really rescued him every day. Possibly even more, than he could ever rescue or protect her. He laid back just a bit, lifted Felicity's chin up with one finger and kissed her deep. He put every ounce of love he had for this woman in this one kiss. Felicity moaned against his lips. When they broke apart he flashed her the brightest smile she'd ever seen on his face. Or anyone's face actually.

"I really could get used to waking up next to you every day Felicity Smoak."

A/N: Well, this was it. Like I said in the beginning – english isn't my first language so if your eyes are hurting because of the many mistakes I made with grammar and everything, I would love to have a beta-reader for my stories.

I hope you enjoyed the story. It just drives me crazy that Oliver thinks Felicity would be in more danger if they'd start a relationship. So I had to do something about it... :-)

Reviews are greatly appreciated!