Rose POV

I watched him leave.

The hardest part wasn't the fact that I was losing my soul mate or even the fact that I was losing him to that bitch Tasha Ozera. No. The hardest part was the haunted look in his eyes when he saw me there.

It wasn't out of place for me to be there; it was kind of a tradition. One Guardian would get a new charge and his or her fellow Guardians would see them off.

He was my mentor. I had a right to be there and he knew it.

But why did he look so sad?

Wasn't this what he wanted? To be with her? To have a family with her?

He looked at me with those eyes and I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. And that is what made it so damn hard for me to be upset at him. I couldn't wallow in my own misery for him leaving… not when he looked so…so…

Ugh! I was never good at describing things! That's why I usually failed English.

Let's just go with the word 'dismal'.

He looked so dismal and depressed and it broke my heart. But if he felt that way, then why did he leave? It was his own choice! Why would he choose to be miserable? How could he be miserable? He had Tasha Ozera, the woman who was everything I wasn't. She's thin and tall and beautiful! She's the woman that could give him what he wanted: a family.

Why was he looking so fucking miserable?!

He came over to each of us, the few friends he'd made while in America, and said his goodbyes. Alberta said she'd see him later. Stan, that evil bastard, said something in Russian and laughed. I'm glad I didn't hear it. It was probably something stupid, anyway.

After two more people he made his way to the end of the line, me.

"Don't look so miserable, Comrade," I whispered as I hugged him. I could tell he was shocked because he stood stiff before finally hugging me back. "Isn't this what you wanted?" I asked, referring to Tasha.

"It is," he responded, hiding behind his guardian mask. If I were any other person I would let it go without a second thought, but I'm not anyone else. I knew better.

I knew better, but I still let him go.

I let him go.

If there is anyone to blame for him leaving, it's me. I let him-

"Earth to Rose," Adrian yells as he waves his hand in my face. "Hellooooooo, Little Dhampir, are you in there?"

I grab his hand and use all my willpower not to break it. "Ivashkov, what the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"I'm just making sure you're alright," he lies. I glare at him and it only takes moments before he breaks down. "You were acting weird."

"I was just thinking. How is that acting weird?"

He shrugs. "You were looking all broody and cute and you were quiet and it was kinda scary."

I ignore the fact he called me 'cute' and I apologize, even though I really had no reason to. I have been kinda moody lately so it's just kinda been how things go. I do something, not meaning to or even realizing I've done it, and I apologize and we move on with our lives. It isn't something ideal, but it works.

Lissa, Christian, Mia and Eddie join us and I go back inside my head. It's been a month since that day. A whole month since I've seen Dimitri or even talked to him.

I miss him.

Things just haven't been the same since he left. I haven't been the same since he left. I don't know what's wrong with me. One minute I want to cry, the next I want to yell and break things, and the next I'm fine. My moods have been all over the freaking place and it's starting to get annoying. Plus, I never seem to get sleep anymore. Something keeps me up, but I don't know what. At first I thought it was caffeine, but it wasn't that.

It's something else. I just don't know what.

I don't know about anything anymore.

"Hey, uh, Little Dhampir?" asks Adrian, once again pulling me out of my head.

"What?" I snap. Man I'm a bitch. His face shows a little bit of hurt as he sighs. "I'm sorry, Adrian. I'm just…"

He nods. He's the only one to know about my relationship with Dimitri and he's surprisingly been very patient with me the last month. "I was just about to tell you that you're about to walk into a tree, but you were mean to me. I don't really think I should tell you now."

Lissa gasps. "Adrian!" Everyone stops and stares at her as she realizes Adrian was joking and she blushes. Everyone except Christian laughs, but you could totally tell he was laughing on the inside.

We continue on and I didn't walk into that tree. Safely, we make it to the cafeteria without any tree related accidents. The Moroi go to the feeders, leaving Eddie and I to get in line for some real food.

We make it to the counter before it happens. Nauseating sickness knocks into me full force and it's caused by the worst possible thing: food. Food is the love of my life, well besides he-who-shall-not-be-named (and no, I don't mean Voldemort), it can't betray me now!

"Rose," Eddie asks, "are you okay?"

"No," I respond hesitantly. "I'm going to go wait for Lissa and the guys." I turn around and walk away without waiting for his reply and wander over to our normal table. Eddie's the first to come over, a tray heaping with food in hand. The only thing unusual about that is the fact it makes me want to puke. Seconds later Adrian comes over; he sits directly across from me and just stares. "Stop staring at me," I hiss. The Moroi doesn't even flinch. It's like he can't even see me. "Adrian!" Nada. To get his attention, I do the first thing that comes into my mind: I kick him from under the table.

The trance he was in is broken. "Little Dhampir!" he exclaims, shock written all over his face. "What was that for?"

"You were staring at me."

"No I wasn't."

"Dude," Eddie chimes in, "yeah, you kinda were." He goes back to his pizza.

"I wasn't staring at you Rose, promise." That I wasn't actually expecting. Adrian always admits when he's doing something wrong and it always turns into some kind of pathetic flirting.

Call me crazy, but I believe him. "If you weren't staring at me, then what were you staring at?"

He hesitates, but answers. "Your aura. It's… different."

I'm not sure I want to know, but I ask anyway. "Good different or bad different?"

"Hell if I know."

The conversation drops as Adrian starts contemplating my strange aura and Eddie eats. Christian and Lissa arrive and thankfully are foodless. I don't know how much more of that disgusting smell I can handle. My thoughts drift back and forth between what Adrian said and my own observations.

Something's different.

I don't know what it is, but it's there and I'm going to find out.