AN: Well, hello there. Yeah, it's been a while- two years, give or take.

So I'm getting back into writing after my (lengthy) hiatus, and since I've had so many people PM me about and leave reviews on this story I figured I needed to finish it. You guys are so great, and so patient, and I love every single one of you.

"Are you trying to hide behind me?"

"Me? Hide? Of course not! I'm, uh..." Hermes looked around for inspiration. "I'm watching your back! That's it! I mean, that's what I'm doing."

Percy rolled her eyes. "That's not how that works."

They were standing in a nice office, waiting for "the boss". Percy had been expecting a throne or something, but instead there was just a regular, boring desk chair. She figured this must just be a small Amazon warehouse, not a major distribution center. She had told this to Hermes, who had blanched at the word Amazon and started trying to hide.

Percy sighed. "Are all of the gods this afraid of literally everything?"

"Well, they probably would be if they were stuck being mortal."

"I thought you liked being mortal."

"That was when I was safe! I don't like it any more. This part is terrible."

"Yeah, well, welcome to the world of mortals. A few minutes of happiness interrupted by danger and death. You'll get used to it." It was supposed to be a joke, but Percy couldn't help but sound bitter.

Hermes looked like he was going to retort back, but the door opened and cut him off.

A large and very beautiful woman walked into the room. A large, beautiful, angry woman.

She paced over to her desk and glared at her two captives.

"Tell me what you're doing in my territory. Now!"

Hermes was trying to look as small as possible.

"Ma'am, we were sent here on a quest," Percy said, since it looked like she'd have to do the talking.

"Oh great, demigods." The woman rolled her eyes. "I was hoping you would be a couple of stupid mortals that I could dazzle with the Mist and send away, but no..."

"You can use the Mist?" Hermes sounded curious.

"Silence, dog!" the woman yelled, and Hermes flinched back again.

"So who are you, and what's this quest?" the woman asked. "Quickly, quickly, I haven't got all day."

"Well, ma'am, my name is Percy Jackson. And this is... Henry. He's a son of Hermes."

The woman raised an eyebrow when Percy said her name, then switched her attention to "Henry", who she looked up and down. Evidently she was not impressed. "Isn't he a little old to be on a quest?"

"Excuse me?" Hermes squawked.

"Be quiet, old man. I'm not interested in what you have to say."

"Yeah, be quiet, old man," Percy echoed with a grin.

The woman was staring at Percy, and judging by the expression on her face she was plotting how best to disembowel her. She said thoughtfully, "Queen Hylla issued an order that all Amazons should offer any help to Percy Jackson that we can."

"How is Hylla?" Percy asked.

"How in Hades' name should I know?" The woman had suddenly gone from angry to furious. "Does this look like the type of place that a Queen comes to visit? We're the smallest Amazon outpost in the Americas, and we're beyond the gods! I haven't ever even seen the Queen, much less spoken to her! But, unfortunately," she huffed, "I still have to follow all of the Amazon policies. Even the ones I don't like. Kevin! Steve!"

The two men who had captured Percy and Hermes came running into the room.

"Go get our guests some chairs," the woman ordered.

The men scampered off again.

The Amazon composed herself. "My name is Lizzie."

"Lizzie?" Hermes asked, incredulous.

She glared. "Tell me everything."

"So what's the plan?" Malcolm said.

"Do you happen to have binoculars?"Jason asked.

"Please, I am a child of Athena, I don't go anywhere without binoculars."

"Anywhere?"

"Anywhere."

"That's disturbing." Jason took the binoculars and observed the warehouse. "All right, we'll approach from the rear."

Apollo giggled.

"Oh my gods. Anyways, I only see two men, they're loading up a truck. They appear to be prisoners of some sort, so we'll take them out but not kill them."

"Not even a little?" Apollo asked, disappointed.

"I'm sorry, I know you're a god and all, but you do actually understand how death works, right?" Malcolm asked.

"Hades tried to explain it to me one time, but his voice is so BORING."

"Anyways!" Jason said again. "After that we'll be going in blind."

"So we need to be quiet. You can lead, Apollo can follow, and I'll take the end position."

Apollo guffawed.

Malcolm and Jason shared an exasperated look. "You'd think someone thousands of years old would have matured at some point," Malcolm said.

"And you'd be wrong."

"An unknown, untraceable monster? And they sent YOU after it?" Lizzie asked.

"I'm usually better at these things," Percy said. "I was distracted."

"Right. Whatever." Lizzie scrubbed a hand over her face. "Honestly, I don't care, and I also don't know how to help you. Unless..." she was lost in thought for a moment, until she suddenly bellowed, "Kevin!"

"Kevin's going to help us?" Hermes asked, eyeing the man doubtfully as he rushed into the room.

"Don't be an idiot. Kevin, get me the file on that new potential product. It's in the 'only one in stock, so order soon' section."

"You got it, boss."

"How do you have them all so well trained?" Percy asked in awe as Kevin sprinted away.

"Positive reinforcement. Lots of treats."

Kevin brought in the file. "All right, I may have something that can help after all," Lizzie said. "We've been in negotiations with the seller for weeks, but she's not budging. Maybe you two can persuade her."

"Where is she?"

"It's a place called Pro's Pet Shop. Ask about the 'special dog'. Here's the address." She handed Percy a piece of paper.

"Thank you so much, Lizzie." Percy said, standing to leave.

"Don't mention it. Honestly, I feel sorry for you, having to go on a quest with that." She gestured with her thumb at Hermes, who still looked miffed about the age remarks.

Percy laughed. "You should meet the other guys we came with."

CRASH