Hello! After my failed first attempt at a PJATO fanfic, I'm back with an AU take on the series! Forgive me if you don't like this, as I'm writing simply for fun and to distract myself from self-harm. :(

If anyone recognizes me, yes, I'm the kid who wrote Bloodkin and am currently working on Bloodlines for the Inheritance Cycle, and this is written as a what-if, just like my other current project!

So without further ado, read and enjoy!

The Weapon Thief

Chapter 1: My Pre-Algebra Teacher Bites the Dust

Being a half-blood is not as cool as it seems.

Stop reading now if you're doing it because you're starting to suspect that you're one. Trust me, you're better off believing whatever lie your mom or dad cooked up about your other parent. Try to live a normal life. Go with your hobbies, whatever.

Being a half-blood is horrendously dangerous. It almost got me and my friend killed in painful, nasty ways. You're better off without any of that.

If you're reading this because it looks like a great piece of fiction, then you're a lucky normal kid. Thalia would probably whack me on the head for saying this, but we envy you. So much. If you think that these pages are starting to look familiar, or if you feel something stirring inside, please stop. Like, now. You might be one of us and if you realize that you a re, then they will sense it too and come running after you.

This is my last warning.

I'm Percy Jackson, twelve years old. I was a boarding student in Yancy Academy until a few months ago. Don't be fooled by the preppy name, it's an private school for troubled kids here in New York. If you're wondering, yeah, you could say that I'm a pretty troubled kid. It's just not the way that you might be thinking.

We could pretty much start anywhere in my miserable life and go on until it gets worse, which we could trace back to that field trip that our sixth-grade class took in Manhattan last May. I don't know why anyone would think that it would be a good idea to load twenty-eight mental-case kids in a yellow school bus even if we had two teachers to watch over us.

You might think that visiting the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff would be boring and torturous. I have to admit that most Yancy field trips were, but I was hopeful about this one. After all, our Latin Teacher, Mr. Brunner, was leading and he was pretty cool.

He's this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair who was really, really cool. You might not think that he is, with his thinning brown hair, scruffy beared and that frayed tweed jacket that smelled like coffee. He knew these cool stories and funny jokes and let us play some games in class. He even had a collection of real Roman armor and weapons, so his class was always interesting. Other teachers easily put me to sleep but he didn't.

I kept my fingers crossed, hoping the trip wouldn't cause a lot of trouble even if bad stuff kept happening to me during field trips. Seriously, you won't believe half of them. I blew up our school bus during fifth-grade, when I accidentally fired a Revolutionary War cannon from the Saratoga battlefield. The year before that, we went to this behind-the-scenes tour of the awesome Marine World shark pool. I didn't really mean it when I hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and sent the entire class to an unplanned – and very unwanted – swim. Hate to say it but it happened to me all the time. Believe me, I didn't mean to do any of that and this time, I was determined not to mess up.

I even ignored it when the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, Nancy Bobofit, began to pelt my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of that nasty peanut butter and ketchup sandwich that she loved. I even did my best to make sure that my friends Thalia and Nico did nothing to provoke her.

I have to admit that Grover was an easy target. He was very thin and cried when he got frustrated. I'm not sure about it but I think he got held back several times because even if he was only a sixth-grader, he had a lot of acne and already had some sort of wispy beard on his chin. The worst is that he was crippled and was even excused from PE forever since he had this muscular leg disease thingy. It made him walk funny and it felt like every step hurt him – except if it was enchilada day and he could run to the cafeteria to get a lot.

This made him way different from our other friends, Thalia Grace and Nico di Angelo. Thalia was this tall girl who always kept her black hair short and choppy. You might think it's weird but it really looked good with her black jacket, black clothes, ripped jeans and combat boots. She also had these button pins of rock bands that were really cool. This getup, coupled with her intimidating electric-blue eyes, made every bully steer clear of her. That, and the fact that her mom was a former starlet with this big, poofy hairdo. We argued a lot but she was pretty cool.

Nico was a little on the short and skinny side like Grover, but he was this cheerful kid who acted like he couldn't see or hear the bullies and was addicted to this trading card and figure game called Mythomagic. He had shaggy black hair that kept falling over his wide, chocolate- brown eyes that were a little crazy at times. He wore brown aviator jackets over a skull-printed shirt and grubby jeans most of the time. He loved comic books and we would talk about them all day with Grover since we were roommates.

Anyway, Nancy Bobofit knew that my friends and I couldn't do anything to stop her even if the sandwich bits stuck in Grover's curly brown hair because Thalia, Nico and I were already on probation. Yep, the principal already threatened us with death by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing or mildly entertaining happened again – which seemed to keep happening around the three of us, even harmless Nico.

"I'm going to kill her," I muttered.

"It's okay," Grover told me. He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch. "I love peanut butter!"

"No, it's not okay," Thalia growled in irritation from behind us. She had a deadly look in her eye and I could almost imagine lightning bolts shooting out of them. Pretty weird, but not really.

"That's it," I said, starting to get up. Grover pulled me back to my seat, though.

"Percy, you're already on probation," he told me. "You'll all get blamed if anything happens."

Nico picked off wads of food from Grover's hair from behind, as he was sitting with Thalia. He looked really scary when he glared at Nancy. "I don't like it either but we have to behave," he muttered.

Seriously though, it would probably have been better if we ganged up on Nancy Bobofit in the bus and suffered from in-school suspension. The trouble we got ourselves into was seriously way worse, but don't tell Nico that. He thinks it's really cool.

Mr. Brunner led the tour by riding up front in his wheelchair. He guided us through big galleries that made really weird echoes. Thalia's eyes widened at the statues and pottery in the glass cases. Thalia and Nico talked in hushed voices about how this stuff survived for thousands of years. Seriously, it was mind-blowing.

We gathered around some stone column that had a sphinx on top. It was at least thirteen feet tall and kind of creepy, but Nico's eyes widened and he started listening really intently as Mr. Brunner told us about this stele, or grave marker, for a girl who was around our age. I almost expected him to take notes when the carvings on the sides were discussed, but I knew Nico better than that. He was dyslexic, like Thalia and me.

I seriously did my best to listen, really, because it was all interesting, but the kids around me kept talking and I couldn't tell them to shut up. Our math teacher from hell, Mrs. Dodds, would give me an evil eye. She was a mean, little old lady from Georgia who was around 50 years old. That didn't stop her from wearing a black leader jacket. Hey, she looked mean enough to ride a Harley out of your locker to scare you to death! She came to Yancy halfway through our year since our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown. Gee, I wonder why?

She adored Nancy Bobofit, outright refused to acknowledge Nico's existence and figured that Thalia and I were devil spawn. Whenever she pointed that crooked finger at us and said, "Now, honey," really sweet, it meant that we had after-school detention for a month. She once even made us erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight.

Since they were my roommates, I told Nico and Grover about it. Nico said that she probably wasn't human and Grover had that serious look when he said, "You're right, you know?"

Mr. Brunner was still talking about Greek funeral art when Nancy Bobofit snickered and said something about the naked guy on the stele. I was so irritated that I turned around and said, "Will you shut up?" louder than I meant to.

Everyone laughed except my friends. "Now you're in trouble," muttered Thalia. I wanted to hit her.

"Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have something to say?"

I flushed in horror and glared at Thalia. "No, sir."

"Well, then," he said, pointing to one of the pictures on the stele. "Could you tell us about this picture?"

Lucky me, I actually recognized the carving. "Er, that's Kronos eating his babies, right?" I asked.

"Yes." Still not satisfied. "He did this because…"

"Kronos was the king god and…"

"Titan," Thalia hissed.

"Titan," I repeated, giving her another death glare. "He didn't trust his kids, who were gods, so he, uhhhh, ate them? His wife hid the baby Zeus though, so she gave Kronos a rock instead. He's probably not very bright if he thought the rock was a baby. When Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, to barf up his siblings and so there was an epic battle between the gods and the Titans. So the gods won."

Some kids were snickering behind me. Nancy Bobofit turned to a friend and mumbled, "As if we're going to need this in real life. Do you think our job applications would include something like 'Tell me why Kronos ate his kids.'"

"To paraphrase Miss Bobofit's question, does this matter in real life, Mr. di Angelo?" Mr. Brunner asked, glancing at Nico.

"Ha! Busted," Thalia muttered with an evil grin.

"Shut up," Nancy hissed. Her face glowed redder than her hair. Boo-hoo. Mr. Brunner had radar ears and could always hear it when she said something wrong. He's cool like that.

"Hey Nics, you okay?" Grover asked.

Nico went white as sheet. He hated being called on in class, hated speaking in front of all these mean kids. He looked around and shrugged. "I don't know, sir," he said quietly.

Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. "I see. How about you, Miss Grace? No idea? Mr. Jackson?" His face fell even more as we shrugged. "Well, then. Half credit to Mr. Jackson. Zeus fed his father a mixture of mustard and wine so that Kronos would disgorge his five children. As immortal gods, they grew up and lived undigested within the Titan Lord's stomach. The displeased gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his scythe and scattered these pieces in Tartarus, which is the darkest part of the Underworld. Finishing on that happy note, we should eat our lunch now. Mrs. Dodds, if you could please lead us back outside?"

The girls held their stomachs while the guys began to push each other to act like doofuses as we drifted off. My group were supposed to follow them too when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson, Mr. di Angelo, Miss Grace…" Whoops.

"Go on, G-man," Nico said, pushing grover forward. "Get us a good spot, will you?"

"You must learn the answer to my question – all three of you," Mr. Brunner said, giving us this look with his intense brown eyes that seemed over a thousand years old.

"Er, about the Titans?" I asked.

"About real life. And how your studies apply to it." Mr. Brunner watched me exchange glances with Nico and Thalia. "Everything you learn from me is very important so you have to treat is as such. Percy Jackson, Thalia Grace, Nico di Angelo, I expect nothing but the best."

I should have been angry because he pushed me so hard. Okay, tournament days were pretty cool, especially when he was dressed in some Roman armore, screaming, "What ho!" and challenged us with his sword to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who lived, who their mother was and what god was worshipped. But this was pushing it too far. He expected me and my friends to be as good us – or even better – than everybody else. You're looking ath the three kids who have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder. Even attentive Nico barely scraped anything higher than a C in his entire life. It's pretty difficult for us to learn – or even correctly spell – all those names and facts.

Thalia shuffled uncomfortably while I mumbled something about trying harder. Nico said some apologies under his breath. Mr. Brunner told us to follow our classmates and have our lunch outside while looking at the stele sadly – as if he was at the funeral.

We found the rest of the class at the front steps of the museum, watching the foot traffic in Fifth Avenue. A massive storm was brewing overhead, with these big, angry black clouds. Nico and Thalia went on and on about globel warming or something, since the weather all around the state of New York was pretty crazy since Christmas. Snowstorms, floods, wildfires caused by lightning strikes all happened randomly so a hurricane wouldn't come as a surprise.

The weird thing is that nobody else noticed, though my friends and I kept exchanging uncomfortable looks. The guys kept pelting pigeons with their crackers while Nancy Bobofit was trying to pick a lady's purse. Naturally, Mrs. Dodds can't see anything wrong with her sweet angel.

My group sat at the edge of the fountain to distance oruselves from them, hoping that nobody would notice that we're from that school for loser freaks – freaks who won't make it anywhere else.

"Triple detention, I guess?" Grover said.

"Of course not!" Thalia grunted.

Nico dug into his banana. "Brunner won't do that to us. He's awesome that way."

I shrugged. "Wish he would lay off us sometimes, though. I mean, yeah, Nico tries so hard but we're no geniuses."

Nobody spoke for a while, and when I thought he was going to give some sort of philosophical comment or try to make me feel better, Grover asked for my apple. I shrugged and gave it to him. I didn't have an appetite anyway.

None of us spoke while we watched the cabs on Fifth Avenue. I thought of my mom's apartment, which was a bit uptown from here. We haven't seen each other since Christmas and I wanted to jump into a taxi and head home right then and there. Sure, she'd be glad to see me, but she'll be disappointed too. She'll probably send me right back to Yancy after reminding me to try even harder. It didn't even matter to her that this was my sixth school in the same number of years and probably would get kicked out again with my friends. I just can't stand the sad look in her eyes.

I thought of Thalia's mom, who lived in one of those classier apartments being paid for by her dad though they never married. Thalia only saw her dad once but said that he was pretty okay if a little strict and quite the drama king. I've seen Miss Grace's name on the news a few times, talking about a supposedly good comeback that ended up in a flop. That didn't count in her drinking issues yet. I know that she never got along well with Thalia.

My eyes moved to Nico, who was trying to pile up his Mythomagic cards on the pavement with an absentminded smile. I knew that his parents were dead and was being sent to school because of some lawyer. I idly wondered about what he was going to come home too, and felt a little bad for him. If I didn't have that jerk of a stepfather, I would have invited him to stay for a few days over the summer with Grover and Thalia.

At the base of the handicapped ramp, Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair and began to eat some celery while reading some paperback novel. He had this red umbrella at the back of his chair that made it look like some motorized café table.

"I really have to complete my cards this summer," Nico said happily. "I've been working on them for three years!"

"What are you doing during summer?" Thalia asked as she began unwrapping her sandwich.

Nico made a face. "I'll be staying with some really, really distant relatives who are kind of weird," he said. "One of them is a lawyer."

At that very moment, Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of us, followed by her hideous thugs. She must have gotten tired of stealing from tourists, so she dumped her half-eaten sandwich in Grover's lap. "Oops." She smiled, showing her crooked teeth. In the pale sunlight, her freckles looked so orange, like liquid Cheetos.

Seriously, I wanted to stay cool. The school counselor told me a million times that counting to ten could help me control my temper. Thalia let out a shout and pushed Nancy, and it seemed like there was a small spark of electricity as the big bully winced. It broked when Nico cussed and the ground seemed to move, tipping Nancy forward. I was so angry that my mind blacked out, and a wave roared in my ears. The next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting in the fountain, screaming, "They pushed me!" Nico, Thalia and I were on our feet with mutinous looks on our faces.

As if by magic, Mrs. Dodds appeared next to us.

The other kids were whispering: "Did you see – "

" – she got zapped – "

" – the ground shifted – "

" – the water grabbed her – "

Nico gave me a look of trouble. "What just happened?" he asked. "I was so angry that I blacked out."

"I don't know either, man," Thalia grunted. "We're in trouble though. Big trouble."

Mrs. Dodds assured herself that poor Nancy was okay and that she would get her angel a new shirt at the museum gift shop. Then she turned to us, eyes glazing over Nico. "Honeys," she said, triumph in her eyes. It felt like she was waiting for us to do something like this all semester.

"I know, I know," I groaned. "A month erasing workbooks again."

Thalia elbowed me, an annoyed look in her eyes. "Stupid."

"Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said with an evil smile.

"B-but it was me!" yelped Grover. He gave Nico a scary warning look. "I pushed Nancy." Grover was scared to death of Mrs. Dodds. Why was he trying to cover for us?

"I don't think so, honey. You will stay here."

Grover gave us a desperate look. Thalia and I could barely reassure him before running after Mrs. Dodds. We glared at Nancy, who was smirking. I gave her my best threatening stare before turning back to Mrs. Dodds – but she wasn't there anymore. She stood way at the very top of the steps, at the museum entrance. She glared at us with impatient eyes.

"How'd she get her so fast?" Thalia whispered.

I shrugged. My brain falls asleep or something a lot, and before I know it I've missed something already – as if a puzzle piece fell from the universe, leaving me at the empty space. Counselors kept telling me that it's a part of ADHD, since my brain misinterpreted things. Wasn't so sure, though.

Whatever.

I followed Thalia, and we went after Mrs. Dodds. Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover, who was talking to Nico. His eyes cut between us and Mr. Brunner, as if he wanted to tell Mr. Brunner but he was too absorbed in his novel.

Mrs. Dodds disappeared again. She was standing at the very end of the entrance hall, and I guessed that she would make us buy a new shirt for Nancy since the gift shop was pretty near. We followed her deeper into the place and when we caught up to her, we were standing in the Greek and Roman section again.

The gallery was empty. Thalia stood tensely beside me, her electric-blue eyes flashing brighter. Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed, right in front of this marble frieze depicting Greek gods. She was making some weird growling noise in her throat.

I nervously stood closer to Thalia. Being alone with a teacher – even with one of my best friends – was weird, especially since it was with Mrs. Dodds – who was glaring at the frieze mruderously. "You've both been giving us problems, dears. Did you thin kthat we would really let you get away with it?" She tugged at her jacket cuffs, giving us an evil look.

"She's a teacher," I muttered. "She won't really help us."

"Not so sure about that." Thalia raised her voice. "We'll try harder, ma'am."

I felt thunder shake the building, and felt my body tremble. "Did you take us for fools, Percy Jackson, Thalia Grace?" Mrs. Dodds growled. "It was only a matter of time before we found out about you. Confess if you want to suffer less pain."

"What's she talking about?" Thalia whispered.

I shrugged. "I took my Tom Sawyer essay from the Internet. Hope they didn't find out and take away my grade – or make me read it."

"Well?" Mrs. Dodds demanded.

"Ma'am, we don't…" Thalia began.

"Time's up." The weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals, fingers stretching to turn into talons. Uh-oh. Her jacket melted into these big, leathery wings.

"She's not human," I said.

"What gave you the idea?" Thalia snapped, eyes fixed on the shriveled hag with bath wings, claws, and a mouth filled with fangs. "She's going to slice us to bits."

"Percy! Thals!" Nico yelled, running towards us breathlessly. His eyes widened upon seeing Mrs. Dodds, and he dropped his Mythomagic cards which he always meticulously stacked. "What is that?!"

Mr. Brunner wheeled right into the gallery, pen in hand. "What ho!" he yelled, tossing his pen through the air.

Mrs. Dodds lunged at us, so Thalia and I split up. I was a little slow, and felt talons slashing the air right next to my ear. I held out my hand, as if by instinct, and snatched the flying ballpoint pen – which wasn't a pen anymore. It was Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, the one he used every tournament day.

"Percy?" yelled Nico. "Look out!"

Mr. Dodds spun towards me, the evil look in her eyes becoming murderous. "Die, honey!" She flew straight towards me, since I was nearer.

My knees and hands were shaking badly as terror began coursing through my entire body. I did the only obvious thing, which was to swing the sword. The blade was metal, and it hit her shoulder, passing clean through her body. What was she, water? With a loud hiss and a dying screech, she turned into yellow powder as if I vaporized her. I shuddered as the smell of sulfur filled the air with a chill of evil.

"What was that?" Thalia asked, eyes wide.

I was standing in the middle of a pile of sand, ballpoint pen in hand. Thalia was standing right next to a pale-faced and terrified Nico. Mr. Brunner wasn't there – only the three of us.

"Did we eat something with magic mushrooms?" Nico asked tentatively. "I mean… did we imagine all of that? I once heard that some people could go into these weird trances and share visions that they imagined and…"

"No." Thalia firmly put a hand on his shoulder. "I think it did happen. We should go back outside."

Right outside, it was raining really hard. Grover was still by the fountain with a museum tarp on his head. He was shivering and gave us a scared look. Nancy Bobofit was nearby, wet with her fountain swim and her shirt singed from the random static electricity. She was grumbling to her hideous friends and glared at us. "Hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your sorry butts."

"Uh, who?" I asked.

"Our teacher, duh!"

"We have no teacher named Mrs. Kerr," Nico said tentatively, as if afraid that Nancy went crazy.

Thalia crossed her arms. "Just what are you talking about, Bobofit?"

Nancy rolled her eyes and turned away, so we asked Grover instead.

He paused and wouldn't look at me as he said, "Who?" Why was he messing with us?"

"Man, that's not funny," I said as a loud peal of thunder boomed right above us. "This is very serious."

Mr. Brunner was still sitting under his red umbrella, as if he never moved at all. I approached him, ignoring Nico and Thalia's warnings. He looked up at me, looking quite distracted. "That would be my pen. Thank you for returning it, Mr. Jackson. Please bring your own next time."

I didn't even realize that I was still holding the pen-sword-thing when I handed it right back to him. I hesitated, then asked me about Mrs. Dodds.

"Who?" Mr. Brunner frowned blankly at me. When I repeated it, he gave me a mildly concerned look. "As far as I remember, there's no Mrs. Dodds in Yancy Academy nor is there any on this trip. Are you feeling fine?"

Well, here's the first chapter, and it's still pretty similar to the original book. FOR NOW! Mwahaha!

Liked it? Don't hesitate to leave a review and make my day! :)