Hello there everyone in the Bread fandom, this is my first Bread fic, I hope you enjoy it :) This is a Christmas giftfic for gypsy rosalie who introduced me to the TV show and the fandom :) Merry Christmas my dear, I hope you have a lovely day :)

For those of my followers who might not be familiar with the TV show I'll give you a quick summary of everything you need to know for this fic.

Joey Boswell is the eldest in a Catholic family of five kids who have stuck together in the Great Depression to earn money in suspect ways and generally defraud the DHSS or social welfare system. Martina is a witty, sarcastic DHSS worker who deals with Joey and the rest of the Boswells on a daily basis and knows that they're cheating the system, she's just yet to get proof. It seems as though bringing down the Boswell clan (Joey in particular) is something of a life's ambition for her. Joey and Martina never date during all I've seen of the TV show, though there are a few flirty moments and it seems the Bread fandom has sort of adopted them as their OTP. Oh and Joey has a penchant for flashy things that just gets Martina's eyes rolling (leather jackets, musical pens, and a Jaguer, the car not the animal, among other things)

Okay, I think I've got everyone all caught up now... Please enjoy :)

I'll Get You One Day Mr. Boswell!

She had him, this time she knew it! Martina was tingling in excitement as she watched Joey enter the jewellery store. For the past two years they'd been dating she had received expensive jewellery for birthdays, anniversaries and the like. She could tell it was expensive, but she had no way to prove it. This year was different though, it was Valentine's Day and she'd taken the whole day off work to tail Joey and catch him purchasing jewellery well above the price range of welfare payment recipients. Martina got out of her car, rubbing her hands together in her delight. Cautiously she entered the store, relieved to find Joey with his back to her, talking to the sales clerk over by the counter. Over on the opposite wall Martina pretended to peruse a stand of necklaces while she watched Joey in the mirror to her left. After a good ten minutes serious discussion Joey pointed to something in the case and finalised the sale. She saw the sales clerk put a velvety box in a bag and her heart skipped a beat as Joey handed over a thick wad of cash. This was simply too good to be true!

'I've got you now, Mr. Boswell' She muttered under her breath. Joey nodded at the sales clerk and left the store, Martina watching him closely, ready to turn away if he chanced to look back. She waited half a minute after Joey had left the store, and then made her way to the counter.

'I need a copy of the receipt for the last sale.' She said in an authoritive voice.

'Certainly.' The sales clerk shook under the no-nonsense gaze of the scariest DHSS lady. 'Here you are.'

'Thank you.' Martina nodded. She had a quick look at the slip of paper; there was no way of knowing what he had actually bought, there were a whole lot of initials and abbreviations the store used to identify the product, but the price! The price was definitely in her language! Martina shook her head in disbelief, the day she had waited so long for had finally come. A huge smile spread over her face when she imagined the triumphant smirk sliding from Joey's face when he found out she had enough proof to cut him and his whole wretched family off once and for all!

For the first time since she was a teenager Martina put the radio on as she drove, humming along to a catchy song she didn't know. Proper balance was about to be restored and she would make an example of that dratted Joey Boswell to stop anyone else from taking the much needed funds from those less well off. She stopped by work to pick up the forms and the customers almost keeled over in shock at the strange expression she'd never before been seen wearing: a smile.

'Are you alrigh' there?' One of the braver customers asked as she hummed merrily to herself.

'Today is a very bright day.' Martina beamed, grabbing the forms she needed and leaving with a cheery wave.

Martina shook her pen in disgust, she had a lot of paperwork to do and her trusty biro had gone and run out on her! She reached for another from her pen holder, clicking it and almost falling back in shock as a tinny, high pitched melody assaulted her ears.

'That Joey Boswell and his dratted pens!' She went to snap the pen in half, but paused, staring at it. It hadn't quite hit her before, but she finally saw what she was doing. She was about to turn in her boyfriend of two years because of a silly personal vendetta. Martina dropped the pen as if it had burnt her, was she really that much of a monster?! But if you ignored this you wouldn't be doing your job, a part of her brain reminded her. You have a duty to report any fraud you might discover. She nodded in agreement, this was sensible, this was what she knew. Joey was ripping off the system and the whole family was taking thousands of dollars which might otherwise go to other people in the town who needed it more.

But he's thinking of his family, wouldn't you do the same to look after your family? Another part of her brain spoke up, the part that reminded her that Joey Boswell had been there for her for two years, taking care of her family when her brother had lost his job. Could she really do this to the guy she had come to love? And it wasn't just Joey who would suffer, Billy and his kid, Adrian, Aveline, Jack and Nellie and Grandad as well. Mongy would go without eight meals a day as everyone fed him, assuming it was their turn and poor Nellie's hands would be worked to the bone preparing extra sandwiches for Billy's business as well as the big family meals. The only good thing that might come of it would be their father might be forbidden from coming to dinner as they wouldn't be able to feed the extra mouth and it would save the family and the neighbours the trauma of another one of her shrieking hysterics over "that tart, Lilo Lil!" Martina sighed and looked at the forms in front of her, unsure which course of action to take. Which was more important to her, her job or her relationship? In her teenage years it would've been an easy answer, her diary pages were full of longings for her prince charming -though in her dreams he rode a horse, not a Jag- but now, after the economic crisis, it was a hard choice. Her job meant security, there was always work for the DHSS in this economic climate, and that meant she could live without want, and help out her family from time to time if she had money to spare. It wasn't quite the arrangement the Boswells had, but she felt better knowing that her brother and her parents weren't out on the streets or starving. But Joey would look after you, he'd add you to the family, the romantic part of her argued. Joey would never let you starve. Martina chuckled at this thought, Joey might not, but she was certain Nellie would have no qualms. To Nellie Boswell family came first, and she wouldn't let an outsider take food or money that her children might need for the luxuries of another leather jacket or more cars.

The forms were spread out on the table in front of her, half filled with her precise, legible even to a blind man, print. It bothered Martina, it really bothered her a lot to see an incomplete form, and she could feel her fingers itching to finish filling it out. Well there's no harm... she reasoned, just because I fill it out doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to hand it in. She looked at the receipt beside her, and then back to the forms, picking up her pen to fill in the blanks.

'What are you doin' in 'ere?' Joey entered her apartment to find Martina sitting at her desk, hurriedly writing.

'Just finishin' some paperwork off for work.' Martina smiled innocently. She grabbed the form and put it in her drawer, folding her hands in the business-like manner she employed at the DHSS. Joey smirked at her, half expecting her to say something like 'Now what can I do for you, Mr. Boswell?'

'Well if you don't mind, I had plans to steal you away for a romantic dinner.' Joey sat across the table from her; all they needed now was the glass partition.

'That sounds wonderful.' Martina nodded. 'Just let me get my coat.' When Martina emerged again Joey noticed she had changed out of her usual long gray skirt and drab coloured long sleeve blouse. Not that her current attire was all that flashy, but a sensible grey dress was probably as dressed up as Martina ever got. Joey smirked at this thought, somehow he found Martina's outfit choices endearing, so much more respectable than some of the clothes girls were wearing these days, so much more respectable than even what his sister was wearing, and she had three brothers nagging her to put more clothes on.

'You look lovely.' He smiled as he held out his arm to her.

'You're too kind Mr. Boswell.' She said in her dry, humourless voice which she knew had a strange effect on Joey.

'You're quiet today.' Joey observed between mouthfuls of pasta. 'No quips about my leather jacket or how unnecessary it was to drive my Jag two blocks?'

'It is Valentine's Day, I thought I'd let you off the hook.' Martina smiled. The truth was though that she was still puzzling over what to do with that form. It was sitting in her drawer, all filled out with the receipt stapled to it as proof and everything, waiting for her decision to decide its fate. 'Also I'm anxious to give you your present.'

'Really?' Joey raised an eyebrow, unsure whether either of these things would truly take the fight out of Martina.

'Here.' Martina took a pristinely wrapped parcel from her bag and put it in front of Joey. He wiped his hands on his napkin and began opening it, unsure what to expect from Martina.

'Oh, two pens.' Joey smiled.

'How about you use them.' Martina suggested, a tiny smile on her lips. Joey clicked one of them and a quiet rendition of Scarborough Fair played.

'You got me a musical pen!' Joey beamed, testing the other one. It was the national anthem, again a little quieter than Joey's other pens. 'And I thought you hated them.'

'Oh, I do.' Martina smiled. 'But you seem to get a real kick outta them. I thought I'd at least get you ones I can stand, instead o' 'aving to listen to that loud, tinny nonsense of yours.'

'Really, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me!' Joey put his hand over his heart. 'I was goin' to wait until after dinner to give you your present, but I think this is a perfect moment.' He handed Martina the little gift bag and leaned back in his chair. Martina gave Joey a curious look, though he was smiling she detected a small crease between his eyebrows. She took a small velvet box out of the bag and set it on the table. This was the moment of truth, when she'd find out what expensive trinket he'd bought. A gasp escaped her lips as she opened the jewellery box to find a beautiful, silver, sparkly diamond ring. She looked up to find Joey kneeling by the table.

'You're...?' She managed to choke out. The hard truth of her situation hit her like a ton of bricks. She had been planning to turn Joey in using the engagement ring he'd bought her as proof of his fraud. What kind of horrible person does such a thing! An overwhelming sense of guilt took her over as she looked into Joey's hopeful face. Why did Joey ever think she deserved someone like him, someone who loved his family so fiercely that he was willing to break laws for them. In that moment she saw him in a light she'd never been able to see before and she was disgusted at her black and white world; she finally saw that Joey was able to be so charismatic because he lived in the freedom of greys. 'I don't know if I can do this.' She blurted out.

'What?' Joey's face fell in the most heartbreaking confusion. 'Why not?'

'I lied to you today, I wasn't at work.' Martina confessed.

'So?' Joey frowned. 'I don't mind that one bit.'

'I didn't go to work today, because I was schemin' to follow you to the jewellery store where you were buying my Valentine's gift and finally get the proof I needed to get you.' Martina said ashamedly, launching into the whole story. 'The paperwork is in my drawer at home now, waiting for me to decide what to do with it.' She waited with bated breath for Joey's reaction, not knowing how he'd feel about this. The reaction she got was not at all what she expected though, Joey burst into laughter at her confession, taking her hand gently in his.

'Oh, Martina, this is why I love you.' He said once he had calmed down enough to speak. 'You're always keeping me on my toes, I fell in love with you because you're a strong, righteous woman and I'm so happy that you haven't changed one single bit.'

'You're not hurt or angry that I spent my day tryin' to turn you in while you spent all day planning this proposal?' Martina frowned.

'No, I think it's perfect! If you stopped tryin' to keep me on the straight and narrow I would then worry that you no longer loved me. This just proves that I was right in wantin' to spend the rest of my life with you.' Joey grinned. 'You do realise of course you 'aven't given me an answer.'

'I was so ashamed of my behaviour that I was going to say no, and suggest you find someone more worthy of your time, but since that's what you want in a relationship than I don't think you'll be able to find anyone better, Mr. Boswell.' Martina shook her head in wonder.

'I think you're right, Mrs. Boswell.' Joey grinned mischievously. Martina rolled her eyes at this, she was about to join the ranks of the most notorious criminals in her eyes.

'Don't be too hasty.' She warned. 'I've still got to get through the weddin' plannin' without throttlin' your mam. Wouldn't it be a funny state of affairs if I ended up in jail after predictin' that fate for you all these years.'

'Yes, a warnin' about that.' Joey coughed. 'Do not suggest a weddin' anywhere else other than a catholic church, and don't ever mention a protestant church, my mam would have a heart attack on the spot!'

*sigh, I love them as a couple, and Martina is just so deliciously sarcastic. I hope I did the Bread fandom justice, I'd love to hear from you whether it be in a review or PM or both, I'm always up for a chat :) Merry Christmas everybody and I hope you have a wonderful day full of family, friends, and good food :)