Tino jumped around in joy in his kitchen (literally). It was Christmas Eve and he was preparing dinner for his "family". Christmas was his holiday; after all, Santa lives in his country. As he prepared the finishing touches of the lutefisk dish, he thought of the smiles that he would bring to the children when he delivers them their gifts. Tino smiled innately.

Berwald parked his old sapphire Volvo (obviously— he's the personification of Sweden) onto his driveway. He feels tired; after all, being a manager at a relatively large IKEA is tiring. He fished out his house keys and unlocked his rather expensive mahogany front door.
"'M home."
"Welcome back Ber!" said Tino.
Berwald's jaw dropped. His wife was dressed in nothing but an awfully thin Under Armour t-shirt, which revealed his perked up nipples. He wore something that Berwald couldn't even name that showed his nice feminine legs. To make things more erotic for Berwald, Tino was licking the tip of a red and white stripped peppermint-flavoured candycane in a suggestive manner. His head bobbed up and down on the stick of candy, and for Berwald, it awfully represented a blowjob.
"W-what's wrong with you, Ber-bear?!"
Berwald said nothing as blood rushed out of his nose like tap out of a faucet. Berwald blacked out and fainted.