Mikau: Hi everyone! Okay, this one? This one is just silly. ^.^; The words from Poirot Café's word of the day were: map, silence, paranoia, pasta, and dolphin. Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed last time: Lady of the Shards, James Birdsong, Ern Estine 13624, incandescent stars, Bunnyz-chan, Miss Emotion, and Assasin8! I've also got a new HakuKai fic called Against the Odds too. I fixed the summary, so if you read the summary before and thought meh, read the summary again and see if it sounds any more interesting. If you still think meh, I give up. Go about your business and have an excellent day. And now on with the show!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd put the Gosho boys in fedoras occasionally. How sexy are fedoras? I think Hakuba in particular would look good in one. And we all know Kaito could make a garbage bag look like the hottest new thing, so there's no doubt in my mind that he could pull off a fedora. He's got the rakish attitude for it, anyway. And we already know Heiji looks good in a hat; my only concern is that he might look a little bit like a member of the mafia. Shinichi…I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not. Opinions?

…

In the Tropics

"You have the map right?" Shinichi called over his shoulder, rummaging through his daypack for a flashlight

Silence.

Shinichi turned to glare at Kaito and repeated, "You have the map. Right?"

Kaito smiled his most charming grin, batting his eyes and hoping that his sex appeal would save him from Shinichi's wrath.

"Gaah," Shinichi sighed in frustration, banging his head against the craggy face of the cave that they had come to search for a possible Pandora candidate. "And how did you think we were going to search for buried treasure without a map?"

"I thought you had it, Mr. Responsible. You always have to prepare everything yourself and double check everything I do, so I thought you had it," Kaito pouted, playing the "too cute to stay mad at" card.

Still Shinichi glared. Gasp! Perhaps he was immune to Kaito's charms?!

"It's okay," the detective assured, throwing his pack over his shoulder and heading into the mouth of the cave. "I looked at it briefly a day or two ago. I remember."

"You know, coming from anyone else, those words would not be comforting," Kaito hummed, following obediently behind his future boyfriend (a fact that he had decided upon himself).

Shinichi led the way in relative silence for a good twenty minutes before they came to a stop at a fork in the path.

"Are we lost?" Kaito cocked his head as he came to a halt at Shinichi's side.

"Shh." Shinichi held up a finger, signaling for Kaito to "shut up for a sec. I think I hear something" without having to say it in so many words.

Instead, after about forty-five seconds, Shinichi did say, "I think somebody's following us."

"Ah. That would be your paranoia," Kaito informed. "It's been following you around from the time you repeated primary school."

Shinichi rolled his eyes, in a way that Kaito took to mean "You're so witty and handsome, Kai-chan."

Kaito could always dream anyway.

They walked on for a while more until even Kaito was convinced that they weren't alone in the cave.

"It's getting louder," Kaito whispered, taking the opportunity to wrap his arms around Shinichi's like a girl pretending to be frightened in a haunted house.

"Just stay behind me, Kaito," Shinichi commanded authoritatively.

Kaito kind of liked it when Shinichi stepped up and took the role of studly protector.

A few turns later, Kaito frowned. He'd thought that he was simply imagining things before, but now he was sure that he really did smell something. "It smells like pasta. Is that just my imagination, or does it smell like tutto mare and shrimp and pasta fromaggio and fettuccini in a pesto sauce in this cave?"

Shinichi blinked at his companion. "I smell something, but your nose is better than mine if you can make all of that out."

Kaito shrugged, and they pressed onward.

"Man, I'm hungry," Kaito complained.

"Well, we should be close to the treasure room soon. Once we get there, we can rest and eat some of the snacks we brought with us," Shinichi conceded. "Just hang in there a little longer, Kaito."

They rounded the final corner, arriving in what was supposed to be the treasure's final resting place, but…unexpectedly, they found some kind of hotel…or least the basement of one, linked up with the cave as a sort of spelunking entertainment option for guests to this tropical island. Apparently they had guided tours.

"That must have been the sounds we kept hearing—people on the tours," Kaito reasoned.

Also going on at the moment was a convention concerning Italian food taking place in the hotel's convention center, also conveniently located underground.

"I guess that's where the pasta smells were coming from," Shinichi hummed, not quite sure what to think of the entire misadventure. "So…your map was obviously outdated."

"Yeah," Kaito sighed, wondering what happened to the jewel supposedly housed in the treasure room before it had a hotel built on top of it. "So…now what?"

Shinichi shrugged. "We came all this way. We could at least hang out at the beach."

Kaito tensed. "So long as we stay away from the water, okay?"

Shinichi rolled his eyes but agreed regardless out of respect for Kaito's ichthyophobia. After all, he didn't want to be the one that had to go pry Kaito down out of a palm tree if the finny things got too friendly.

"Look! Dolphins!" Kaito shouted in glee, pointing out the little frolicking sea creatures as Kaito and Shinichi relaxed in the sand.

Shinichi frowned. "Did you know that dolphins are actually evil?"

Kaito gave Shinichi a dirty look that communicated that he was not buying it.

"Seriously," Shinichi persisted. "Bottle-nosed dolphins are the worst, but it's been documented that dolphins kill their own young, murder porpoises that aren't even competitors for food sources, and even go so far as to rape females of the species and keep them as sex slaves."

Kaito's jaw dropped. He covered his ears and shook his head. "I didn't hear that. I didn't hear any of that! Dolphins are kind, intelligent sea mammals! Flipper wasn't a monster, Shinichi!"

Shinichi rolled his eyes, looking back at the dolphins with a shrug. It was kind of cute how innocent and naïve Kaito could be.

"You're ruining this romantic getaway for me, Shinichi!" Kaito whined.

Shinichi's eyebrows scrunched together. "Kaito, we were supposed to be here for work. Finding an island resort was kind of an accident, remember?"

Kaito chuckled nervously. "Oh…Oh yeah."

There was something suspicious about the way Kaito said it, but Shinichi didn't bother to delve any further into the matter.

Kaito mentally chuckled, congratulating himself on a romantic getaway with Shinichi well orchestrated. Hopefully Shinichi didn't question why Kaito already had a reservation for the honeymoon suite.

…

Mikau: Yes. So, that happened. I hope it got a laugh out of you, and, yes, dolphins really can be sinister. I was so upset when my brother told me. Now you may share in my pain and sorrow. Anyway, I hope you liked it. Take care guys!