The Alternate Beginning Juxtaposition

Disclaimer: The Big Bang Theory does not belong to me. I am merely using it for fun, not profit

Summary: A different beginning with a more confident Leonard who refuses to back down to Kurt when asked to retrieve a certain girl's television. How things proceed from this different beginning.

Author's Note: If you are looking for pain and angst, go elsewhere. My take on a happier, healthier Penny/Leonard with circumstances that push them together. Doesn't mean there won't be any tension, just not exactly the same as on the show.

Chapter One: Meetings

~~~Leonard/Penny~~~

"New neighbor?" Leonard asked rhetorically as he stared at the blonde goddess across the hall visible through her open door.

Sheldon shrugged. "Must be. Since we've never seen her before. And she definitely isn't the three hundred pound transvestite who used to live there."

Leonard couldn't take his eyes off of the girl. Slender, but not too slender. Definitely shapely. Blonde hair, just past shoulder length, parted in the middle, framing a gorgeous face that looked perfect for the faint smile that graced soft pink lips. Eyes that were a glorious vibrant green that almost seemed to glow. Delicate nose. Short jeans shorts perfectly showing off shapely legs that were perfectly proportioned, tan, and toned. Above the shorts, a hint of her flat stomach was visible beneath a cute yellow top that perfectly suited her. Alll in all, one of the most beautiful girls Leonard had ever seen. And completely out of his league.

With a goofy smile, Leonard suggested, "We should go over and say hi."

Sheldon, who had been scrutinizing his face all the while Leonard had been doing the same thing to their new neighbor, shook his head. "Oh no, not again."

Leonard dragged his eyes away from the vision and glared at his roommate. "Oh no, not again what?"

"She's never going to have coitus with you."

Leonard flushed slightly in embarrassment. "She might."

His roommate shook his head emphatically. "Leonard, look at you. Then look at her. Then look at you again. Even as poor of an understanding of social interactions as I possess, I do at least understand that you don't have an ice cube's chance in hell of achieving coitus with that girl."

Sheldon's face took on a contemplative look. "Funny saying that. Ice cube's chance in hell. Actually, if you provide a temperature for Hell and specified the size of the ice cube, you could calculate that exact chance. I was going to do it, but my mother says it would make Baby Jesus cry."

Leonard figured then and there that he was going to figure out a way to be with the gorgeous blonde across the hall. And to start out, he decided he needed to be more confident. To put himself out there. He whispered, "Our babies are going to be both brilliant and beautiful."

Sheldon, who had overheard him despite his low tone, responded dryly, "Not to mention, imaginary."

Leonard wanted to bang his head against the hallway wall, pretty much like he wanted to do after every conversation with Sheldon, but refrained not only because it would hurt, but because he sometimes threw up when he did that. If he was to have even that ice cube's chance, he couldn't start out with vomit breath. No, he was going to have to be at least a little different. A little more assured.

It wasn't as if he was actually that shy with women. He could talk to girls. Unfortunately, he tended to ramble on about physics and physics experiments because those were the kinds of things that interested him. Well, other than comic books and science fiction, both of which most women were even less interested in than physics. Those were two subjects that he had already learned the hard way not to talk about. Mostly.

'Come on, Leonard, you're a freaking genius,' he told himself silently. Even if he didn't have an eidetic memory like Sheldon's, he was within fourteen IQ points of his crazy roommate. If you accounted for the variance in the sub-tests and factored in Sheldon's memory, which allow him to remember ever last bit of information he'd ever read, trivial or otherwise, and it was possible that his own IQ was actually as high or even higher than Sheldon's.

After all, he understood every single weird and crazy thing that his roommate spewed out under the pretense it was String Theory for the last several years that they'd been sharing an apartment. So it wasn't as if Sheldon could stump with pretty much anything.

In addition, his own work was exemplary, allowing him to duplicate the results of dozens of other experimental physicists world-wide. Whether his mother considered it original work or not, what he did was valuable. Plus, in the last five years, Leonard had also completed three completely original experiments that had either proved or disproved the linked hypothesis on String Theory as well as other ideas. He was getting a national reputation and would likely be tenured by his early thirties, well ahead of any of his friends or peers. Including Sheldon. So why did talking to one cute blonde girl, who looked to be a few years younger than him, fill him with such trepidation?

Maybe it was because he'd never been hit quite so hard by a physical attraction for anyone else before. No woman he'd ever met had elicited such an intense physical response from him. And there had been a few.

Joyce Kim had actually pursued him when she'd been trying to get him into bed to pry secrets from him about his research into rocket fuels. The sex had been scorching, but Leonard hadn't give up any information by the time she'd been recalled back to North Korea, apparently for lack of results.

Oddly, all of his friends seemed to think that he had never actually had sex with her, like a result of the time that Sheldon had interrupted the two of them. With exasperated amusement, Leonard wondered exactly why they thought he might have give her information if he wasn't actually getting any?

Dr Elizabeth Gaston, a PHD professor in French Literature he'd date for three months while she was over here giving out a series of lectures had been extremely attractive and had taught him more about sex than every other partner he'd had combined. Yet, while Leonard had been attracted to her, and enjoyed the sex they had, talking to her hadn't really even been that hard. He'd just been himself.

In the last four years since taking the position at CalTech, there had also been three other women with whom he'd had sexual relationships. Additionally, he could have had a few more if he'd wanted, Leslie Winkle, a colleague in the Experimental Physics Department, coming to mind. She'd indicated her interest in a purely physical relationship with him on more than one occasion.

The others had been graduate students of other professors who had expressed an interest, but he'd been uncomfortable with the idea of dating a student, even one as old as he himself was.

Hell, he'd even forgotten to include his friend Raj's sister, Priya, with whom he had one hell of a week long fling when she'd come over to America to visit her brother. Priya had been dark and dusky and gorgeous, everything that American girls weren't and had definitely benefited from Elizabeth's tutelage.

Leonard winced as he remembered her biting her pillow to muffle her screams as she orgasmed. And Sheldon's resulting knocking on the door asking him if he was killing someone in there. And to keep it down if he was.

That week, Raj had nearly driven Leonard mad trying to find out who his sister was seeing. On the other hand, he'd apparently scored big with Priya so much so that she'd been trying to get back over ever since. She'd emailed as much, as well as wanting to make sure that the two of them were on the same page if she did manage to get back to America.

But it had felt a bit too much like betrayal to do that to Raj, as funny as the way he'd acted that week had been. And to be honest, Priya wasn't that great in the sack. Despite how vocal she was, she tended to stay on her back or stomach and just lay there, expecting him to do all of the work. So Leonard had pretty much brushed her off.

He wondered if it was because he didn't talk about women like Howard did that his friends thought he was practically a virgin? While he was far from a stud, he wasn't completely incapable of picking up a girl. He'd certainly helped enough female 'friends' with their homework both in high school and college, occasionally scoring with one of them. If he couldn't talk to women, he wouldn't have been able to do either one. Although, sadly, one harsh truth about himself was that there was a direct correlation between how much he was attracted to a woman as to how difficult it was to talk to her.

Leonard realized that in his reverie, he'd missed several things that Sheldon had said, as well as attracting the attention of his beautiful new blonde neighbor. Meeting her green eyes and trying to ignore the near physical force of her attention, Leonard deliberately walked forward and greeted her with a strong, "Hi."

He wasn't even sweating as he awaited her response. No, not at all. Oh well, at least he hadn't said, "Hiho."

~~~Leonard/Penny~~~

Penny finished opening the umpteenth box from her move when her attention was pulled away from her task by something outside her apartment. She was being stared at.

Being an extremely attractive girl, having more than her fair share of attention wasn't anything new. It had led to innumerable free drinks whenever she went out, as well as plenty of other benefits. Hell, she had dresses in her closet that had gotten her out of jury duty, speeding tickets, and paying cover at the million and one clubs and bars around town.

But there were drawbacks to being quite attractive. Like when the guy staring was ugly. Or leered instead of stared. Or wouldn't take no for an answer. Or stalked her. Or tried to grope her in public. Or take pictures of her tits... Penny decided to stop thinking about it before she got too squicked. Basically being an attractive female in Southern California wasn't always a walk in the sun.

Still, overall, Penny wasn't unhappy with her lot in life. Although she wouldn't mind getting a bit less attention at the restaurant she worked at. Penny got a lot of looks from customers at the Cheesecake Factory, despite the relatively unflattering uniforms she had to wear there. Unfortunately, lots of attention didn't always translate to higher tips, especially with couples or groups that included women.

Anyway, once she finally got home to the sanctuary of her apartment, the last thing she wanted was to be leered and or stared at by some horny guy.

Looking up, Penny caught the guys in the very act. There were two of them. The taller stared at her with such a cool, distant look on his face that it made her wonder if he'd even noticed that she was a girl. It was a bit unnerving, actually.

The other guy, short enough that he was probably no taller than Penny, was looking at her with an expression that looked like it was better suited to a church than an apartment building hallway. Almost worshipful. Under than gentle stare, Penny actually felt her cheeks heat. It was one of the weirdest sensations that she'd experienced in quite some time.

Just as she was about to say something, the shorter guy walked on into her apartment and greeted her, "Hi."

He was immediately followed by his taller companion who also said, "Hi."
Penny responded with her "Hi." She felt a little weird mimicking the two guys, but it went right along with how awkward she felt at being stared at. "Err..."

The shorter guy seemed to finally get the message that he needed to carry the conversation as he smiled and said, "I'm Leonard and this is Sheldon. We're your neighbors. We live across the hallway in 2B."

Penny felt herself relax. Okay, having the neighbors stare at her for a moment as they were checking out the new neighbor to make sure she wasn't an axe murderer was a lot better than having random guys staring at her. They were probably just curious to see who was moving in across the hall. Smiling, Penny responded, "I'm Penny. I'm your new neighbor. I just moved in."

Sheldon chose that moment to weird her out again. "That's obvious. Most of your stuff is still in boxes. And you're not a three hundred pound transvestite."

Penny felt her jaw drop at the guy's words. Sheldon was so matter-of-fact despite the freakishness that he'd just spouted that she was taken aback. She looked at Leonard as if to say, 'Is he serious?'

Leonard caught her look and smiled ruefully. "His name was Louie and was very pleasant. However, seeing someone that big in a pink evening gown with feathers was eye opening to say the least."

Penny couldn't help herself and laughed. Okay, Leonard was funny. And cute. Taking a closer look at him now that he was standing nearby, Penny saw that he was actually just the tiniest bit shorter than she herself was. He had short, curly brown hair and sparkling brown eyes behind the lenses of his glasses. He wasn't Mr Muscles, but despite his height, Leonard looked to be in shape with a solid physique.

Sheldon, on the other hand, was over six feet all and probably weighed less than Leonard, resembling nothing so much as a giant preying mantis. Shaking off the imagery, Penny realized that she'd missed whatever it was that mantis- err... Sheldon, had just asked her. "Um... what was that again?"

Sheldon shook his head, clear disapproval on his face. "I don't know about this girl, Leonard. She has the attention span of a gnat. Can we go now?"

Penny felt a bit insulted. She was about to respond when Leonard saved her the trouble. His tone was more than a little sharp as he scolded, "Sheldon, what have we discussed about social interaction?"

Sheldon looked both irritated and chagrined as he relied, "To avoid personal observations about someone to their faces until I get to know them at least two weeks."

Leonard nodded. "Exactly. So what do you say?"

Sheldon hung his head and mumbled, "Sorry, Penny."

Penny bit back a smile of amusement and decided to get a bit of her own back. "He's a bit special, isn't he?"

She barely avoided grinning as Leonard rolled his eyes while Sheldon looked up swiftly, giving her a glare of indignation. Playfully, Penny glared back, before smiling again. Leonard returned her smile as he said, "You have no idea. Hey, you want some coffee?"

Penny exchanged a commiserating look with Leonard over his roommate. She also found she couldn't say no to an invitation for coffee. "Thanks so much. My coffee maker is still packed and I am definitely suffering from a lack of caffeine."

Leonard waved for her to follow them as he walked towards his apartment. "I completely understand. I keep a full pot on pretty much all of the time. If I'm not drinking coffee, it's Red Bull."

Sheldon chose to reply to this as the three of them walked into the apartment opposite. "And Diet Coke. And Dr Pepper. And-"

Leonard waved him off. "We get it, Sheldon."

Sheldon swiftly finished his last comment. "Mr Pibb!"

Penny, meanwhile, had stopped by the couch and was staring at one of those white erasable board that was covered with exotic looking equations made up of symbols for which she didn't have even the faintest understanding. Holy crap, she thought.

She was just realizing that the two of them must be incredibly smart when Sheldon again interjected, "Oh, so you've seen my board."

He sounded both proud and dismissive at the same time.

Penny was a bit tongue tied, but got out, "What's it mean?"

Sheldon pontificated, "Just some random math speculating about the existence of dark matter with a little string theory doodling around the edges."

Against her will, Penny was impressed. "You must be one of those 'beautiful mind' guys."

She glanced questioning at Leonard, who gave a little nod toward something over her shoulder. Turning around, Penny saw another board with equally baffling formulas and symbols on it. Taking a step closer, she stared at the board, still unable to make heads or tails of what was written on it. It was more than a little intimidating, however.

"So, is this your board, Leonard?"

He shrugged in a self-deprecating way. "Yeah, just some scribbles from work."

Having finished filling a cup and adding milk and sugar, Leonard held it out to her. "Here you go, Penny. Enjoy."

Automatically, Penny took the cup of coffee from Leonard, inhaling the scent before taking a large gulp. The flavor filled her mouth and as she swallowed, she could almost feel the caffeine working its way down her tired limbs. Lovely. Plenty of sugar, although she wasn't familiar with whatever type of milk was in it. A little odd, but not bad. "Oh my God, that was amazing! I hadn't realized just how much I was missing it."

Penny glanced up to see Leonard smiling at her in amusement. She gave him a slightly flirty smile in return, and asked, "So, what do you boys do?"

Sheldon jumped in and said, "Do? We do all kinds of things. I don't understand the question."

There was a mix of exasperation and affection as Leonard interjected, "Penny means what do we do for a living, Sheldon. We're both physicists, Penny. We work at CalTech."

Sheldon immediately looked upset. "Physicists? Physicists? You might as well call us 'scientists,' Leonard. I, Dr Sheldon Cooper, B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D., Sc.D., am a theoretical physicist specializing in M Theory, which you might know from its more common stated name of 'String' Theory, at CalTEch. Physicist, indeed!"

Her voice faint, Penny said, "Wow." It seemed to ameliorate some of Sheldon's feelings. She turned her eyes toward Leonard, who shrugged and announced in a theatrical voice, "Dr Leonard Hofstadter, Ph.D. I'm an experimental physicist at CalTech."

His voice went back to normal as he continued, "I work on a lot of different things, proving or disproving various theorems and hypotheses, using a wide variety of different experimental methods, although most recently I have been working with high output lasers to study the soft component of cosmic radiation at sea level. I'm also taking a look at proving the existence of dark matter."

Penny felt her jaw drop. "Wow." It was all she could think to say. Then she blurted out her occupation. "I work at the Cheesecake Factory as a waitress."

Oh dea god, she couldn't believe she'd blurted it out like that. To a smart guy who probably thought she was an airhead now. It wold have been at least a little cooler if she'd mentioned that she was actually an actress and only waited tables waiting for her big break.

However, there wasn't even the faintest hint of derision in Leonard's eyes as he nodded. "Sounds like a tough job. I bussed tables when I was sixteen to buy my first car and it sucked. Probably the hardest work I've ever done. And from what I saw of the waitresses, they worked twice as hard."

Sheldon gave him a snide look. "I didn't know you were a bus boy, Leonard. Cleaning up people's messes. You know, that's not all that different from what you do now, actually. The 'bus boy' of experimental physics."

Penny felt more than a little irritated. Sheldon seemed to lack even the tiniest filter when it came to speaking, coupled with an arrogance that was incredibly unattractive. But attacking his friend like that in front of a virtual stranger was a completely dick move that made her want to go all Nebraska on his ass.

Luckily, Leonard seemed to take it all in stride as he said, "Yeah, yeah, Sheldon. Without the work of experimental physicists, there wouldn't be any reason for theoretical physicists to exist. You postulate, we prove or disprove. So you can zip it."

With a look of supreme irritation, Sheldon huffed, then sat down and began messing with his computer, seemingly set on ignoring them both. Leonard gave her a quick wink that drew a smile from Penny, who was unable to help but like how he didn't allow his roommate to get him down. She did want to clarify something that she'd said earlier, however. In a low tone, she told him, "I am currently working as a waitress, but I am also working towards my big break as an actress. I love acting."

Leonard made interested noises and asked, "Can you tell me a bit more about yourself?"

Penny got a big more perky as she said, "Okay. Well, I'm originally from Nebraska. And I'm a Sagittarius."

She heard Sheldon make a pained sound from where he sat by his computer, but after nothing further came out of his whack-a-doodle mouth, she continued, "Oh, and I'm a vegetarian. Well, except for the occasional steak. I love steak!"

Leonard grinned at her enthusiasm and responded, "So do I. Although I do try to eat healthy. Well, except for the occasional burger or pizza. I stay processed food free except for those."

Penny had finished her coffee and couldn't stand the feeling of extreme stickiness that coated her. Not having water, hot or otherwise, sucked. As she handed over the cup to Leonard, she couldn't help the groan of disgust that escape her. "Ugh."

Leonard paused in setting the cups in the sink, and asked, "Anything wrong?"

Penny threw up her hands in disgust and explained, "I don't have any water in the apartment. Not even cold, let alone hot. And I need a shower now. Like, immediately. I'm all sticky from moving." She pulled her shirt away from the skin of her stomach to demonstrate, wincing as it clung to her like a second skin. A sweaty second skin.

Like an angel, Leonard shrugged and said, "You can take a shower here, Penny."

"Really?"

"Seriously?"

Both Penny and Sheldon spoke at the same time. Leonard gave Sheldon a look that made him turn back around and mutter, "Oh sure, take a shower. Don't worry about the shower schedule."

Penny mouthed the words 'shower schedule' at Leonard who shrugged and mouthed back 'Don't ask.' Aloud, he said, "Come on. The bathroom's through here."

He led her to the bathroom, which for a couple of guys, was fanatically clean. Actually, Penny thought, it was fanatically clean compared to any bathroom she'd ever used. Everything absolutely gleamed and it was perfectly organized.

Leonard opened a cabinet and grabbed a big, soft, fluffy towel which he placed on the vanity. He gestured toward the shampoo and said, "Feel free to use the Star Wars shampoo or body wash, but stay away from the stuff with the United Federation of Planets logo on it. That's Sheldon's and he'd freak out if you used it. With that and a quick smile, he closed the door behind him, leaving Penny alone.

Star Wars body wash? Penny smiled in bemusement. She briefly debated locking the door, but didn't bother as she didn't them to think that she didn't trust them. Plus, Leonard had been nothing but nice to her since they met. Fortunately, Sheldon didn't seem interested in sex. At least with women, anyway. Penny wondered if he batted for the other team as she put her clothes on top of the vanity.

Glancing in the mirror to check out her reflection, Penny was reassured by the image that stared back at her. Leonard, at least, definitely didn't bat for the other team. While he had been sweet and polite and funny, she didn't have the faintest illusion that he hadn't noticed she was a girl.

Not that Leonard had leered at her. Or talked to her chest, despite her relatively low cut shirt that exposed a bit of cleavage, something that Penny hated. Or stared at her legs or ass. However, while his eyes had focused intently upon hers most of the time, they had, on occasion, followed her lips a few times as she spoke. His pupils while doing so had been very dilated. Penny smiled at the realization that even a guy as smart as Leonard could be attracted to her.

After undressing, Penny stepped into the tub and tried to turn on the shower. After struggling with it for nearly five minutes, she wanted to scream. Am I stupid, she wondered? Finally, she gave up, realizing she was going to have to ask for help.

Penny glanced down at her naked body. She grinned at the imagined look on Leonard's face if she walked out of the bathroom in her birthday suit. He'd probably have a heart attack. She wondered how many, if any, girls the poor guy had dated. Then shook her head, dismissing the petty thought. ]

Grabbing the towel that Leonard had laid out for her, Penny wrapped it around herself, tucking the end in between her breasts. She opened the door and just as she was about to step out, heard voices. And not just Leonard and Sheldon's. One was a bit high pitched while the other had an accent which she didn't immediately recognize.

While Penny didn't mind giving Leonard an eyeful of her in her towel, rather, she'd actually been kind of looking forward to it, she wasn't really into having an entire group of horny guys staring at her. So instead of stepping out and walking into the living room, she stayed just inside the bathroom and called out through the partially open door, "Leonard, can you help me, please?"

All of the conversation taking place stopped. Then Penny heard the high pitched man's voice distinctly say, "You mean there really is a girl taking a shower in there?"

Frowning in disgust, Penny could almost see Leonard rolling his eyes as he sarcastically commanded, "Down, boy, down."

A moment later, Leonard knocked on the door without coming in. Penny called out, "Come on in, Leonard."

He stepped slowly into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. His eyes widened as they took in the sight of Penny in her towel, which she was holding precariously closed just above her breasts with on hand. His eyes darted down to her cleavage a couple of times, but heroically tried to continuously look her in the eyes. Penny suppressed a smile as he nearly stuttered, "W-what's going on?"

Penny deliberately shrugged, smirking as Leonard's eyes darted to her chest for a moment when things went into motion there. "I can't get the shower to turn on."

Leonard looked relieved at a problem that he could easily address. "It does that sometimes. Here, let me show you."

Wondering if he thought she was going to shower here again anytime soon, Penny nevertheless carefully watched as he showed as he showed her how to jiggle the faucet so that the shower would turn on.

"Thanks, Leonard."

Penny stepped into the shower, but called out to Leonard to prevent him from leaving. "Leonard?"

Before he answered, Penny opened up her towel and tossed it over the shower curtain. There was a strained note in Leonard's voice as he answered her, "Whassup?"

Penny smiled at the confirmation of her power over even smart guys and grabbed some body wash, smelling it. Enjoying the rich, fruity scent, she asked, "Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Ah... sure."

Penny poured body wash over the loofah she'd found hanging in the shower and began to scrub herself off, relaxing as the hot water pounded her tensions away. "You can say no if you want."

"I'll probably say yes."

Penny couldn't help but grin as she heard the strain in Leonard's voice, a heady mix of arousal and shock. She really hadn't planned to ask anyone for help with getting her television since forgetting it at Kurt's, but the last thing she wanted to do was deal with him again. While far from the worst break up she'd ever head of, it was the worst break up that Penny, herself, had ever experienced.

She'd lived with Kurt since coming to LA at age eighteen, almost three years, and it had been incredibly difficult to leave him, both financially and socially. She already missed the sex and she had only been out of there less than a week, although they hadn't been together that way for over a month.

"Err... Penny? What favor did you need?"

Giggling slightly at leaving Leonard hanging while she washed her intimate parts, Penny said, "Why don't you sit down for a moment and I'll explain."

Leonard's voice went up an octave as he questioned, "Sit down? Here?"

Penny turned the hot water up just a little and nearly moaned as the heart beat into her neck, loosening the tension there. "Sure. Sit on the toilet and I'll tell you all about it."

"O-o-okay."

Penny took a moment to wash her legs, then launched into the background of her request. "I just broke up with my boyfriend and moved out. But I forgot my TV. I would just go back and get it, but I'm trying to avoid all of the drama of seeing him again so soon. Maybe in a few months it won't be such a big deal, but the last thing I can deal with now is him."

"I understand."

Penny moaned as the hot water worked out a particularly painful knot on her neck. Then she realized that there was no way that Leonard hadn't heard the sound she'd just made. She wondered if he though she was 'that' while showering in his bathroom. "So, what do you think?"

"I-I-I'll d-do it."

"Thanks, sweetie. You'd probably better step out because I'm just about done showering. And you wouldn't want me to take advantage of you."

Leonard's muttered, "Sure, we wouldn't want that," brought a grin to Penny's face as he closed the door firmly behind him. Humming a tune, she finished showering and dried off.

~~~Leonard/Penny~~~

Leonard walked out of the bathroom to dead silence from his friends. Raj and Howard were staring at him in shock. Sheldon was typing away at his laptop, ignoring the world around him. Finally, he broke the pregnant silence, asking, "What's up, guys?"

Raj grinned. "Nothing with me, but according to Sheldon, you have a beautiful blossom of femininity hidden away in your bathroom."

At this point, Howard stepped in and added his two cents, "From where you just emerged after the shower started up more than fifteen minutes ago. So what's going on? Coed showers? Peep shows? Coed shower peep shows?"

Leonard frowned. "I doubt that Sheldon said Penny is a 'beautiful blossom of femininity.'"

Sheldon snorted in derision. "Of course not. I merely stated that Penny meets the Western standards of beauty with blonde hair, low body fat, and a breast to waist to hip ratio that is considered aesthetically pleasing. I never compared her to a flower of any genus or species."

Howard smirked. "So, hot blonde in the shower. What were you doing with her in there for so long?"

Leonard shook his head. "She just needed me to show her how to get the shower started."]

Sheldon nodded in commiseration. "Ah, the notorious shower handle jiggle. Completely understandable."

Leonard nodded back. "Exactly."

Raj shook a finger at him, brushing his other hand over it in a 'shame on you' gesture. "That was maybe the first minute. Dude, you were in there for fifteen minutes. Give us the four one one."

Howard leered. "Was there washing? I bet there was washing. Were you washing her back? Or her front? Naughty parts? Tell me it was naughty part washing. I'll believe you."

From over his shoulder, Leonard heard Penny ask, "What's going on, guys?"

He spun around to se the girl about whom they'd just been talking standing at the step from the hallway to the living room. Nope, he hadn't even slightly misremembered just how gorgeous she was.

Penny glowed in the late afternoon light that entered their apartment through the west facing windows, her skin radiant and golden. Strands of damp blonde hair clung to her neck in an erotic embrace. Leonard was also about ninety-nine percent sure that she wasn't wearing a bra anymore as just the faintest circles of rosy nipples were visible through Penny's thin yellow shirt. Plus, he could just see one of her bra straps peeking out of her shorts' pocket.

He quickly said, "Nothing. Nothing at all. Just a couple of friends coming over. Err... this is Raj." He gestured first towards first Raj, then said, "And this is Howard."

Leonard was about to do the same gesture toward Howard, when the man in question stepped up and took Penny's hand. "Enchante, mademoiselle. Howard Wallowitz at your disposal. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I trust that you had a good shower. You know, I can say that to you in Mandarin. If you like Mandarin?"

Leonard nearly winced as Penny, clearly uncomfortable, pulled her hand out of Howard's, a frown on her face. She said, "Nice to meet you. I'm Penny. And my shower was fine, wasn't it, Leonard?"

Okay, maybe not that uncomfortable, as she flashed Leonard a quick, wicked grin before her expression faded into knowing smile. He felt himself blushing, which made Penny's smile deepen. "Oh, yeah. It was fine. Definitely fine."

Penny sauntered out the door after saying, "Nice to meet you all. Come by later, Leonard, and I'll give you the details for that 'favor'."

Then she was gone before Leonard could ask her to stay for dinner. As the sounds of her door closing echoed in the room, Howard turned toward him and said, "You lucky bastard."

Yeah, lucky, Leonard thought. Now he just had to get her television back from her boyfriend and somehow figure out how to make sure she noticed him as a guy. He wondered how hard that was going to be?

~~~Leonard/Penny~~~