Fix a Heart

I've just ran out of bandaids

I don't even know where to start.

'Cause you can bandage the damage,

you never really can fix a heart.

"Sam," Danny gurgled through the blood coming out of his mouth. It took everything in me not to wince because if I did, that meant he would start trying to comfort me. Something that would make me feel absolutely worse.

I looked at his bleeding shoulder, the huge gash began at it, crossing his chest to the opposite end. I looked at it for a long moment, feeling as if I was cut myself just as deeply, before I looked at him.

When I made eye contact with him, his blue eyes somehow looking even more beautiful, one of the many things I loved about him, he tried to smile at me, to cheer me up. He knew I didn't like it when he got hurt. "I'm okay," he said.

That time I did wince, but I didn't let him say anything, turning my attention to the cut-could I really call it that? It was too big.

I worked mechanically until it was finally done. I was a pro at this by now, which just made this even more sad.

I looked at my work, his chest and part of his shoulder wrapped neatly in pristine white bandages, looking as if it was professionally done. Instead of being proud of this, I felt sick. I felt completely wrong, and not for the first time, this was all my fault, which it was. I did this to the boy I loved. How could I?

I made him go into the portal. I made him think that he had to be the hero. I pushed him into all of this. The Danny before me never experienced this kind of pain, the Danny before didn't have to face all of this. No, the only thing the Danny from before had to worry about was how to spend his next carefree weekend or finish his homework last minute because he forgot.

I didn't know Danny was speaking to me until his hand was cupping my chin, lifting it firmly to meet his eyes. He was searching me as if he could see what I was thinking, sometimes I truly believed he could with the intensity his blue eyes always focused on me. I felt like nothing could get past them despite his usual cluelessness. "Sam? What's wrong."

My lower lip started to tremble without my permission. I didn't want to. I really didn't want to do this. I'm Sam Manson; I don't cry under any circumstance. I hated crying. It was terrible, I always got a headache after and felt like an overemotional idiot, but no matter how many times I listed why I hated crying, it didn't stop the tears from pouring down my face. I choked back a sob, just staring at him. Staring at his eyes. I felt like they were accusing me. I knew they weren't, but how could I look at him? How could I look at what I did? "This is my fault," I said, somehow having more volume in my voice than I felt I was capable of.

Danny jerked in surprise, wincing and putting a hand up to his chest, closing his eyes momentarily before turning his attention right back to me as if it never happened. This made my declaration even more true. "How is this your fault? I'm pretty sure I remember Skulker being the one who did this." He tried to smile, tried to show me that it was all okay, but the crusted blood on the side of his lips marred the expression.

I shook my head. "The portal." I couldn't say anything else. I knew I wasn't making any sense, but I felt like if I said anymore, I would just fall a part because if I said it out loud, it would be even more true. Then, Danny would see. I didn't want to lose him despite how much I messed up his life.

Suddenly, I was deep in his embrace, his arms tightening around me in a cocoon of his own warmth, my face brushing against his chest. He was rubbing soothing circles in my back. I felt even more sick. I felt like I was practically being rubbed raw. I wanted to scream.

I slowly shook my head in his chest, the tears just coming out even more until everything was just a big blur. I closed my eyes, scrunching them together, trying to make it all go away.

"Shhh," he cooed, trying to get me to calm down after I let out a rather embarrassing sob. "This is not your fault at all, Sam. How could you think that? The reason I even got through all of this is because of you."

I shook my head, but didn't say anything. I knew Danny was just going to argue with me, and he needed his rest. I didn't want him to waste anymore energy trying to comfort me. "Get some rest," I choked outlaid.

"Not until I know you're okay," he said quickly back.

"I am," I lied.

I looked at him, giving him my best smile.

He gave me an unsure look.

"I will get some sleep with you," I offered. "We both need it."

Danny nodded, not really needing anymore persuasion. After all, he pretty much looked dead tired from the night of ghost hunting and the injury acquired from it.

We lied down together, his arms wrapped around me. I stared across the room at my window, looking at the night sky and buildings. I knew Danny believed it would have happened anyway, that he would have turned into Phantom regardless and maybe so, but I could never believe it because I knew deep down that it was all my fault and there was nothing I could do to fix it. I would just have to live with this painful guilt because that was what I deserve, that was my punishment, and I accept it.

A/N: Just a little oneshot. Love the song, it's by Demi Lovato