I like too much fanfic obviously and can not manage to finish most of it...

https:///fqpsyze

My discord. It would be nice to have people in it, and maybe to help me actually set it up properly. Will give headpatz

https:///colonization.html?user=ZeroWitch

A fun space type game online. May have a majority russian community.

https:///user/YeahJiraiya

An awesome person who I gave one of my many branching Naruko plots. It is thanks to YeahJiraiya that I got to actually writing fanfic plots I wrote a few years ago.

Naruko's Determination

02-06-2019: Posted the first still kinda short chapter, but I wanted to get the beginning out of the way

About me: (what I feel like sharing)

Name: ... I was not creative with my username this time

Home: Japan

Birthday: 06-14-1996

Gender: Female Attack Helicopter. (I can be one with a gender, right?)

Personality: Sadistic, forgetful, uncaring about things I don't believe are worth caring about. Not afraid to speak my mind and corrupt innocent minds(within reason), somewhat of a perverted mind

Sexual Orientation: When I drove straight I ran off the road...

Married w/kids: (0.0) (0.0) ... (0.0) (0.0) (0.0) (0.0) (0.0) I don't care to explain the details, lol

Family?: I consider a lot of people to be my family. They raised me, sorta. To be blunt, I can't remember my birth parents, just my siblings who I grew up with, and then the people who adopted us off the streets. Them and the people we knew out there before getting adopted is family to me.

Passion: Music. I can sing but my talent is with the electric or bass guitar. Can play many other instruments but don't expect a masterpiece when I use them. At all.

Favorite game?: VrChat. I have a potato laptop and no mic, and I share the account with two other people. Go bug them if you want the chat part of vr. Vrchat is the only thing I use that requires a mic aside from discord, so I feel no need to replace the one that drowned... and I'm lazy.

My English: I spend hours working on it every day. That said, I spent two days making sure my first chapter Of my first fanfic was written properly. It wasn't that long a chapter either, but I like my writing the be as perfect as I care to get it. Then after that I stop caring about it.

Favorite Candy: Sweet mochi, flavored

Scary stuff?: 02-03-2019 I love it! But there was an event that was weird and I can not explain. A few days ago I went out to a small cabin thing a mile into the forest behind our home, and was listening to somewhat loud music on headphones. Despite the volume of music I still heard a noise from the back door leading to a small porch. A little info: The small building is surrounded by a six foot tall sturdy wooden fence that has no opening except when a gate is unlocked and open, and no part of the fence or ground has any holes or is in need of repair. Anyways, I went to the door and looked out a glass window in the door to see drops of liquid I supposed was drool/slobber, and saw nothing around. It felt really wrong, and I felt like I should not exit the house or even go near any exit or window, and flipped on a motion sensor light above the door, which was triggered a few minutes later, then I shut it off again. After that I just flt weird. I am the kind of person who hears stories about abandoned places and strange creatures and goes out to see them. This time, I just got the strangest feeling that I should turn lights on and hide away from windows or exits where nothing from outside could see me. I would end up hiding under a table in a room in the small basement until morning since I passed out.(lol) That did not happen again so far, and I went out there a couple days after. What really freaked me out was just the feeling I had at the time. It was like something was telling me to stay away from exits/windows and that something outside was wrong, and to hide with lights on. It was oddly specific and that disturbed me. I may be a native here but my actual knowledge of our folklore is very lacking due to how I grew up. Maybe somebody could tell me what it was if it was something?

Several months before I got a similar feeling something was in the forest near my home while I was out back taking garbage out. I was a month pregnant by that point and really jumpy so it might have been me scaring myself. It is a creepy forest after all.

Addictions: Chocolate. Mochi is best but I can't eat a lot of it. Give me chocolate and it will be gone. Hehe. Feeling good. Nothing illegal... Just read part of what I wrote for personality. lol.

Favorite Anime: I am not a simple person. I can not just have a single favorite, but... Anohana. Maybe A Silent Voice. The feels just get to me ya know? I don't know why I like sad things. Those kind of anime just feel more real? I guess? Golden Time

Depression. Something even I deal with even if I don't show it to others. Well a friend of mine had it for the longest while. Whew practically grew up in foster care in the US and from what I underatand, their method of dealing with foster children was giving them medication. Mostly. She knew over 50 other foster kids, and aside from very scrappy councilling, they were all on some sort of medication, for depression, or whatever... Which made her even less fruitful of adults, less she have yet another pill to take. It made her feel sick. She got in so much trouble every time she was caught not taking them, and charged with selling them. Despite them being found in the trash. I would say, always take your pills if you truly need them, but here made it hard for her to remember things, made her care less, and made it impossible to sleep for more than a few hours. She never explained that part. She felt much better without them and if it let her sleep or want to care a bit more, then good for her.

She was treated as a genius since elementary school where she wasn't on medication. She always excelled in any test. Except anything requiring speeches or socializing. Then came middle school. Being in five different pills she didn't know the function of, she found herself fair less and less, hard to care about random things as much as before. Parents said she should socialize more. She had anxiety, and I guess they tried to get rid of it with pills... She stopped caring about her grades, but still passed everyone in state tests or whatever they were. Still a genius of not a bit lazy and uncaring. I'm not school, it really started to show. Especially in second year. She barely got a passing grade in anything. She still aced her tests, but she didn't care for homework, or couldn't focus on it or literally forgot about it. She got a lot of shot for it and her foster parents response was to ground her after removing everything but her bed from her room. And refused to even talk to her. Yet their golden boy of the football team did drugs and snuck out all the time with other foster kids. Actually I didn't understand that, having boys and girls in the same house. From what I hear that wasn't normal at all. Not like any foster care people ever came over often anyways.

So she spent most of high school at school or her bedroom. While the other kids got away with more she got blamed for things she didn't do. She even tried committing suicide a few times. She had tried to hang herself senior year and the most reaction she got from her foster parents was a simple emotionless remark about the line around her neck. That was all. Then she barely graduated. So now she was out of school. But nobody had taught her a single thing about how to do anything a n adult is expected to do. Taxes, how to get an ID. How to drive. How to do all t he things like setting up appointments. The other kids got enrolled in foster care provides courses on independent living and she was told she wasn't qualified. P ricks. She couldn't reach herself since the few times she had an electronic device was working at school or supervised at home. She was often threatened to be tossed out for not working when she had nowhere to go as an adult. Yet they forced nearly every chore on her since they were getting old and e other kids all had sports or some other function to go to all day.

then they had to move since they couldn't be foster parents anymore. They said she had no choice but to move with them since she couldn't live alone in that house. Once again in her life she was forced to move from the place she had been in, this time since she was ten years old. She now has absolutely no friends of any sort, not did she know the place. She never left the house much for the next few years. She wouldn't even know where to get a job anymore even if she could. She got threatened several times to be given small bus date to get home and get dropped off in the city and not come back until she got a job. Without having an IF of any sort. She had refused to continue taking her pills since she turned 18 and felt much better in her opinion. She didn't try committing suicide, so I trusted her opinion.

On the topic of an ID so she could find a job. She had asked for help from various people on the topic since she was sixteen. Then it was just how she could get one when she became an adult. Until she turned 21 the answer was always the same, that her caseworker or someone was managing it and would get back to them. Finally one day they blew up on her and asked why the duck she didn't just get it online... And she said she didn't even know she could do that. She never had much experience with a computer. Th he next year or so she didn't even have the name of a website to d I so. An she got the website and no further help saying she was an adult and would be expected to do things like this on her own. She was raised practically being confined to a bedroom with everything done for her as a fosterkid. She definitely didn't have money to order what she needed, not access to half the information needed to fill out the online form. She actually Lee up at them and their response was to change the internet password on her since she stayed in her room all day. That was the last I heard of her since she could no longer chat with me.

I later heard a few days ago, after not hearing from her for a couple months, that she shot herself. And of course, the fun belonged to the old deterrent who was by now a felon by law. Old and now I'm jail or whatever. And I lost a dear friend to depression. She had nobody, in an unfamiliar place, with her own mental problems she acknowledged, but refused to dose herself to death to solve. She had moved away from every friend, and had no family to talk to since she had no way to reconnect.

The most help she ever got was for a long problem she had. SHe had constantly coughed since middle achool, and the doctor said it was a mental tic since she was fine. CoughIng up stuff and choking on water half the time isn't a mental tic.

I wonder. She didn't have any other friends besides ne, so who will remember her? We got along so well since we were the same age. She never had help for her problems besides having pills sometimes shoved down her throat and a harassed foster care person playing at therapist. Who went straight to the foster parents and doctors right after leading to a change in medication. Moved away from any friend or familiar place to help her cope, she was also confined to her room, literally screamed out of the living room and forbidden from petting their dogs but forced to clean up after them, she had no way to cope with her depression. This is why I hate people. I shut myself way by choice because I don't trust anyone besides close family. I would say she is strong for holding on so long, and a lot stronger than me. The only thing I stay around for is part-time and both our kids now. As long as I have someone I care about and cares about me I would never throw my life away. I made that promise when I didn't have a family on the streets as a child, and met her. I kinda ran away from my home that adopted me... Heh... Looking back I probably would have not gone through so much traumatizing things had I just not run away. I still have nightmares