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![]() Author has written 6 stories for Kingdom Hearts, Naruto, Saiyuki, Gakuen Alice, Harry Potter, and Pendragon. Hi there! I'm Sakamoto Itoe, Saki for short, and I guess I should tell you a little bit about myself: Bored? Click on this link! http:///bubblewrap/ Just pop the Bubbles! Name: Saki call me anything else and I will kill you . Age: ...don't feel like tellin ya =P! Description: long black hair (down to mid-back) crimson eyes, and cat ears and a tail. Usually wears a black tanktop and a black skirt with shorts underneath (for those of you who are slow, this is NOT really me, just what i like to be thought of as) Likes: ANIME!! yes, i'm an anime fanatic =P i like Naruto, Inuyasha, FMA, Blood Plus,...and alot more that i can't think of right now! i also like manga, and video games like KH, KH2, FFX, FFX2, DDR max, and many more! people i like (yes they are anime charaters) are Itachi (sqwee!), Naruto, Gaara, Temari (as a sister!) Tobi, Kimimaru, Orochimaru (yes, i know he's creepy! just deal with it!) Haku, and Sasori Dislikes: PREPS! SASUKE! and fangirls, not that i mind much cuz i'm an Itachi fangirl but just the sasuke ones i hate! Challenges!! 1) Harry Potter/Albus Severus Potter Challenge: Summary/Basics: Harry knew perfectly well that something was wrong with him, that something had been wrong with him for many years now. Fathers weren't supposed to have favorite children, but Albus was his. He couldn't bear for Ginny to touch Albus, and James was only allowed to touch him while supervised. He was perfect, precious, and Harry's. As he got older, Harry felt the pull grow—sharp and painful, begging for completion. "Not yet," he'd whisper to himself. He ran his hand through messy black curls, so similar to his own. "Not yet." Too young. Albus was always too young. Seven. Nine. Eleven. Still too young. And now his beloved little one was leaving for Hogwarts—curse the school. "Remember the rules?" he asked as he hugged Albus tightly, possessively, but protectively as well. "No one can touch me. No one can kiss me. If anyone tries, activate the emergency Portkey," he repeated dutifully as he twisted the platinum ring on his left ring finger. "Correct," Harry whispered before capturing the so small and soft lips with his own. "Daddy loves you." "I love you too, Daddy." As Harry watched him board the train, his heart in his throat, he nodded across the Platform to Draco Malfoy. Scorpius and Albus would both be in Slytherin, it was a given, and they'd protect each other. Still, his hands clenched into jealous fists as he watched the Hogwarts Express pull away from the station. How ironic was it that both he and Malfoy had fathered their own soul mates? Note: This was a small Drabble/Oneshot written by Kamerreon in her collection of drabbles called If Wishes Were Thestrals. As soon as I read this little bit, I knew I wanted to see this written. If you, dear reader, could make a SoulMate!Harry Potter/SoulMate!Albus Severus Potter fanfiction, I would worship the ground you walk on. Please PM me with the link to your story and Please give me (and the lovely Kamerreon) credit for the idea. Thank you, and have a great time writing! 2) Harry/Harry Time Travel Challenge: Summary/Basics: Harry Potter has just barely defeated Voldemort. Deciding he wasn't nearly as strong as he could have been, Harry decides to travel back in time with one mission in mind... To kidnap himself. Once he's done that, the Older Harry has some difficulties raising the adorable 6-year-old Harry. As the years go by with teaching Young Harry the theory of everything Older Harry knows, they decline the Hogwarts letter and start with the practical. Once Young Harry is older, he notices some not-so-natural feelings for his older self. And as Young Harry grows, Older Harry has a more and more difficult time concealing his very wrong feelings. Note: This story has to be slash. It should have most (if not all) of the above included, but it can be as detailed or as vague as you want it to be in the in-between years. The story should focus on Younger Harry when he is at an appropriate age for what Older Harry has in mind. Please PM me with the link to your story and Please give me credit for the idea. Thank you, and have a great time writing! 3) Harry Killing Voldemort: Summary/Basics: This is based on an icon I found a while back. It said: "I would find it very amusing if Harry Potter put on a pair of earmuffs, pulled out a Mandrake, and Voldemort dropped dead." If anyone could write this, I would love you! Whether it be a oneshot, a chapter fic, Slash, Het, or no romance-- this story needs to be written! Please PM me with the link to your story and Please give me credit for the idea. Thank you, and have a great time writing! Fav quotes: "When life gives you lemons, make grapejuice! And let the world wonder how you did it" - Yargy the Pirate Queen "Fuck you!" - Saru "Awwwww! Fuck you, too!" - me ( we were chatting on Skype and i pissed her off, this comment just seamed to piss her off more...i wonder why? ) "Before you criticize someone always walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you do criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes" - Neassa "Fashion is a type of ugliness so intolerable, that we have to change it every 6 months." - Neassa "It's not cheating unless you get caught and if you get caught lie throught your teeth." - Neassa "Live long and prosper or live short and don't prosper... whichever works for you." - Neassa "It's better to keep silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubts." - Neassa "My head may be craked but my insanity is still intact!" - Neassa "It's the friends that you can call up at 4 AM that matter." - Neassa "You have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity" - Neassa "The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple." - Neassa "Skill is being able to walk across Niagra Falls on a tightrope. Intelligence is not trying." - Neassa "Nice try, but you can't fool a fool." - Neassa "Nothing is impossible. Some things are just improbable." - Neassa "Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words." - Neassa "My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone." - Neassa "I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth." - Neassa "Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?" - Neassa "Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now." - Neassa "Earth is the insane asylum for the universe." - Neassa "I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing." - Neassa "The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not." - Neassa "Sarcasm is one more service we offer." - Neassa "Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world." - Neassa "I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away." - Neassa "Don't take life too seriously; no on gets out alive." - Neassa "I will temporarily rule the world, forever." - Neassa "Everyone needs a hearlthy dose of sarcasm in addition to three square meals a day!" - Neassa Neassa: Hey, Who do you think is the hottest out of all of the anime guys? "Back off...THE OREOS ARE MINE!!" - a funny pic of Haku saying that while grabbing this guy's arm "If Sasuke said jumping off a cliff was cool, then 99 percent of his fangirls would be dead" - another icon "Naruto! My Anti-drug. I mean, who has the time to do drugs when you're practicing your mad ninja skills?" - funny Naruto icon "Let's Duel!" - a funny icon where Kabuto is holding up some cards "Yo Momma is so FAT even Naruto doesn't BELIEVE IT!" - another icon "You! (shows naruto pointing) Shut the Fuck up!" - an icon "Cartoon Network KILLED NARUTO" - an icon, at this i said "How true..." "Sucks to be you then!" - Nobodies Have Hearts "Wait... what are we talking about?" - Nobodies Have Hearts "I've stopped listening, why haven't you shut up?" - Nobodies Have Hearts "Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction actually has to make sense!" - Nobodies Have Hearts Sha Gojyo: -cracks open a beer and takes a swig- Goddamn it, this one's hot. Goku, get me another beer. You guys should so totally check this website out! I'm a Chibi Seme! You are the seme in disguise. Able to fit in and get along with uke and seme alike, you are able to get close to the uke on their level before exerting your dominance. This makes you at times manipulative and able to fool others about your true seme nature. Because of your harmless appearance, it takes the flamboyantly gay Flaming Uke to match wits and really bring out your aggressive side to expose you for the seme that you are. I'm most compatible with my Badass Uke. X3 yum, Saru. "Remember what I said about messing with fate will just end up biting you in the ass? Yeah, well, this was fate biting my ass." - Bella Swan from the fanfiction "A Vision Stained with Red" by XDCaramel. "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the Present." - Master Oogway from the movie Kung Fu Panda. "Honestly," Harry grumbled under his breath in annoyance as he walked forward. "Who came up with that bright idea? 'Oh, I know!'" he mimicked in a high voice, "'Let's run into walls!' Bloody insane." - Harry from the fanfiction "Searching for Disaster". “My bike!” Zack’s face lit up. “That’s my bike! Seph got my bike back!” Then, it quickly turned to a look of horror…. “Oh my gods…that’s my bike!” he whined, running downstairs in nothing but his pajama pants. Aerith watched, confused, but then shrugged and continued brushing her hair. He’d get over whatever it was. “That bastard Cloud wrecked my baby!! My BIKE!!” Yep. He’d get over it. - Zack from the fanfiction "Through the Looking Glass". Rufus gave it a once-over. “It’s…a videotape. Ah…let’s see…it’s marked….” He pulled it out and blinked, his eyes popping wide. “It’s…my name?!” “Hold on, sir!” Reno said, taking the tape from him. “This could be dangerous, yo? If you watch it, you might get a nosebleed and then some creepy assassin will call you and say in a creepy voice, ‘You will die in seven—‘” Rufus snatched the tape from him and whacked him upside the head with it before he could finish. - Rufus ShinRa and Reno from the fanfiction "Through the Looking Glass". Harry was only broken from his thoughts when a rather short boy with platinum blonde hair swaggered up to him. Or at least Harry thought the boy was attempting to imitate a swagger. In reality he just looked like he was drunk. "So," the boy said in an arrogant tone that greatly reminded Harry of his cousin, "I've heard that Harry Potter is here this year. You're him, right?" Immediately the voices around them hushed as people leaned in, eager to learn whether or not this was their "savior". "No," Harry replied with a completely straight face. "I'm Vlad Tepes the Fourth. Son of Count Vlad Tepes the Third." The blonde hesitated, suddenly looking awkward. "Oh, er, sorry," he stuttered. He quickly regained his composure. "Well then, it's honor meet you, Tepes. I am Draco Malfoy, of the Malfoys" Before Harry could reply a girl with bushy brown hair and rather large front teeth pushed her way to the front of the first years. She glanced between Harry and Draco before here eyes settled on Harry. "Vlad Tepes the Third?" she questioned. "Isn't that the historical name for Count Dracula?" Instantaneously all of the first years around them drew back while staring at Harry in shock and not a small amount of fear. Harry, meanwhile, was torn between being pissed at the nosy girl for ruining his private joke and thanking her for telling everything. Hopefully no one would bother him any more, now that they believed him to be the son of Dracula. It was too bad that only children were this gullible. - Harry, Draco, and Hermione from the fanfiction "Searching for Disaster". "Flying. On bloody brooms," Harry grumbled to himself as he stood with all of the other first year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws on a smooth, flat lawn opposite the grounds of the forbidden forest. "Doesn't that sound like fun. 'Oh, yes, let's fly several hundred feet above the ground with only a thin stick of enchanted wood between us and certain death. It'll be such fun!' Fucking brilliant." - Harry again, from "Searching for Disaster". "Perhaps Floo travel is not the best method of transportation for you," Haemon murmured. At first Harry didn't answer. Then, slowly, a wide grin spread across his face. "Are you kidding? That was bloody awesome! It's just like how I thought a rollercoaster would feel like!" Harry exclaimed. He was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet from excitement; traveling through fireplaces may have been down right strange, but it was also fun. Haemon shook his head in amusement and finally allowed himself to relax. "If you say so," was his only reply. - Haemon Smith (Zacharias Smith's father) and Harry from "Searching for Disaster". He raced out of the dorm room and bounded into the common room, causing people to stare in surprise. He was cussing up a storm while frantically looking around. "Harry?!" Zacharias gaped at him in confusion. Harry whirled around to face him. "I can't find him! His cage is empty and--" "Potter!" one of the female Prefects bellowed as she pushed through the crowd. "What's going on? What're you talking about?" "He escaped! Voldemort escaped! He was up in my dorm room, but he's gone now and I don't know where he is!" "What?!" - Harry, Zacharias, and some random Hufflepuff Prefect from "Searching for Disaster". Harry got a pet Ferret and named him Voldemort, XD so that's who Harry's talking about. His pet ferret escaped. lmao, oh yeah, and Harry got sorted into Hufflepuff his first year, so they're in the Hufflepuff common room. "Really," Harry muttered to himself with a snort. "Like I would actually keep Voldemort in my room. ...Though, that actually could be quite amusing. I could hang a cage from the ceiling and pelt him with Cheetos whenever I'm bored." - Harry, a chapter later in "Searching for Disaster" in response to above's scene. He's talking with Zacharias sitting next to him, refusing to help resolve the chaos that is Hufflepuff's common room. “Uh... can I ask a question?” Harry interrupted, “What is the point of the measuring tape?” Harry asked, indicating the magical measuring tape that was now seeing how long his shins were. “You mean besides keeping my clients occupied as I gather wands for them to try out?” Ollivander asked. “Umm, yeah.” Harry replied. “Nothing.” - Harry and Ollivander from the fanfiction "Strength of Brothers". It's a Harry Potter/Naruto crossover. "Hmm... Facepalm? You mean where you shove your face into your forehead?" "... Ahahahahahahaha!" "Hahaha, I meant where you shove your hand into your forehead!" "Heh, yeah, that's the one." - A phone convo between Me and my friend Saru. . I started off with the stupid memory lapse. Lol, and you can tell who said which after that. I look into her eyes, lean over, and whisper, “Hey Olive, want to know a secret?” Olive Hornby, certainly known for her love of gossip, smiles and asks me, “Is it a good secret?” I do my best to act charming and reply with a smile, “Have I ever told you a secret that wasn’t good?” She actually blushes a little and shakes her head. God, sheeple are easy to manipulate. I explain to her, “It’s a strange but true tale of an adventure.” I arch an eyebrow. “A secret about a girl leading another girl to her death. It starts with an Imperius curse and ends with a memory charm.” Olive’s eyes light up greedily, “Do tell.” I wave her closer and whisper in her ear. “Imperio.” - Tom Riddle and Olive, I guess her name was. From the oneshot fanfiction "Birth of a Name". “How long has she been there?” I question my brother. Not surprised that Karin would spy on us. “They’ve been there for a while,” he says in a monotone voice. “Don’t you two have anything better to do?” I call out. “Damn it Karin!” Suigetsu stand up, and the one shadow turns into two. “You’re stupid heavy breathing alerted them!” “Me!” Karin stands up, and pokes a finger into Suigetsu chest. “It was probably your constant shuffling!” Suigetsu pushes Karin out of his way, and steps out. “Well don’t mind us, just ya know…keep doing what you where doing.” He encourages us. Karin peeks out her face completely red. “We’re not going to give you a free show, get out,” I tell them sternly. “Great Karin,” Suigetsu throws his hands up in the air. “Thanks to you I’m gonna miss out on seeing the closest thing to twin on twin action, I’ll ever witness in my life!” “You’re sick,” Karin mutters. “Look who’s talking,” They begin to fight and argue as they exit the chamber. - Sasuke, Itachi, Suigetsu, and Karin from the fanfiction "Blinding the Crow". Itachi takes a deep breath, to steady himself. He opens his eyes and looks at me. “We should get a lock for our door.” He states emotionlessly. I look over my shoulder, and hear a yelp. I see the small crack in the sliding door disappear, and then not so quiet footsteps run down the hall. “Karin,” I groan out, anger lacing my voice. - Sasuke, Itachi, and Karin from "Blinding the Crow" XD lmao, I laughed so hard when I read this part. Heh, Karin is so horrible XD "Remember: Violence is not the answer. Violence is the Question. 'Yes' is the answer." - My Brother quoting what he found online. XD we both got a kick out of it. “You see, the uglier my clothes are, the quicker Victoire is to get me out of ‘em,” Teddy had told him smugly, after assuring his godfather that no, he wasn't colorblind, really. “It’s a sacrifice, but one I’m willing to make for the cause.” Harry, who’d changed both Teddy and Victoire’s diapers on a near-daily basis during their respective infancies, had been too busy cringing in horror to reply. - Teddy Lupin and Harry Potter from the fanfiction "Scorpius Malfoy and the Improbable Plot". In which they were discussing Teddy's horrendous choice in outfits. lol, plaid pants and Hawaiian T-shirts. They arrived at Teddy's place fairly quickly. Victoire just happened to be there, and both she and Teddy just so happened to be half-dressed and rather flushed. Harry and Scorpius were, of course, quite shocked by it all. Teddy winked at Harry as he shrugged on a pink plaid button-down over his yellow Hufflepuffs Do It Better t-shirt, waggling his eyebrows (which, given that this was Teddy, meant that one of his eyebrows ended up at his hairline and one a little below his cheekbone) and murmuring, "Sacrifice for the cause." Harry died a little inside. Teddy prodded his eyebrows back into place and turned them tiger-striped, and Harry died a little more. - Teddy, Victoire, Harry, and Scorpius in "Scorpius Malfoy and the Improbable Plot". Lily remembered, if only vaguely, that there had once been a time before the voice, oh sweet Merlin the voice. Her ears ached. Her eyes watered. She clung to her brothers for strength against the storm, the torrent, the ever-flowing, raging river of words. Would it never end? Would she never know again the blessed sound of silence? Would the voice never stop? Hermione glanced at her watch, and decided they’d had enough of Phase One. She was starting to give herself a headache, anyway. “So,” she said brightly. “Who’s up for Scrabble?” Their whimpers were the whimpers of the damned, and sweet, sweet music to her ears. - Lily, James, Albus, and Hermione from "Scorpius Malfoy and the Improbable Plot". Lily, James, and Albus are Harry and Ginny's kids, btw. lmao, Harry called 'Aunt Hermione' over as punishment for the siblings because they wouldn't stop yelling at each other and get along. lol, poor kids. 'Mione doesn't like to lose... -cackles evilly- Hermione nodded once, sharply, and turned to the Floo. Harry considered making a face at the back of her head, but, well, this was Hermione. She’d know. She always knew. - Harry and Hermione from "Scorpius Malfoy and the Improbable Plot". XD 'Mione just got done torturing - er, I mean, lecturing Harry's kids. (“Lilsy-love, tell Al that I will shove, I repeat, shove that broomstick up his arse if he doesn’t let me have it right now.” “Al, James wants to do slightly violent, incestuous and kinky things to your arse. Unless you do slightly violent and kinky things to his first, in which case your arse is safe for the time being.”) “Your daughter is disturbed,” Scorpius told him, sounding distressingly appreciative. “At least she’s not calling me ‘Daddyo’ anymore,” Harry said, clinging to the silver lining. He loved him some silver lining. “Give it time,” Scorpius counseled sagely. “Give it time.” - Harry, Scorpius, Lily, James, and Albus in "Scorpius Malfoy and the Improbable Plot". Albus and James are not-fighting in the background over who gets to use Ginny's state-of-the-art broom. They're using Lily as their intermediary and as you can see, XD she's not saying what she's supposed to! Plus, ever since word of the date spread around Hogwarts, Zabini had been wearing this…shattered, woebegone sort of look on his face. Girls from every house kept glaring at Harry and whispering to each other about his cruel heart-breaking ways; Parkison sniffed disdainfully whenever she saw him and muttered things like, “I bet you kick puppies, too, Potter, and I hope you choke on all that candy you probably steal from babies.” - Pansy from "The World Saving Properties of Hot Threesome Sex". XD lmao, it's a oneshot and I absolutely died laughing when I read this part. Harry just took Cho out on a date to prove that he's anything but gay. lmao, sadly, nobody but Luna will believe him. “You’re mad!” shouted Benny over the wind as he realised what the man was going to do. “If I wasn’t this would probably never work!” was the reply, as the masked figure launched himself off the side of Azkaban prison. - Benny the Azkaban Prison Guard and Harry under a mask from "Time, Mr. Potter?". Harry just kidnapped Sirius from his cell. lol, I especially like Harry's response. “Look, I was just telling Harry here I’m an idiot, I’m sure you’re a lovely girl, and it honestly doesn’t matter whether you were raised in a pigpen or whatever, because you certainly are still a witch, and Muggle-ness certainly isn’t catching, and basically what I’m trying to say here is that I’m actually sorry for not shaking your hand–” Hermione was nodding impatiently. “That’s really wonderful, Malfoy, but–” “You don’t believe me?” he demanded. “Here.” He grabbed both her hands and shook them while Harry and Ron gaped. “Malfoy!” she squeaked. “Your mother!” “This is hardly the time for insults,” Draco stated flatly. “I said I was sorry.” Hermione choked. “No, your mother–” “My mother what?” “Is standing over there,” Ron completed dryly, and he pointed off to their right. Sure enough, Narcissa Malfoy was standing a mere ten feet away from the four of them, blinking at Draco in a half-daze. Draco looked at Harry, looked down at himself, looked at Hermione and abruptly let go. “Mother,” he said, his tone arid as the Sahara. “What a surprise.” - Draco, Hermione, Ron, and Harry from "The Secret of Slytherin". "In case of an emergency landing, please fold your arms, rest your head on them and brace them against the seat in front of you. If you can't reach the seat in front then bend forwards, rest your head on your knees and hold tightly to your legs." "In other words, put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye," Duo muttered from across the aisle. I snickered and turned to see my partner gazing back at me with a grin. - Duo and Heero from the fanfiction "Mission Impossible". Duo and Heero are on a shuttle to San Francisco with Relena. That just went to show what I had learned a long time ago. All men are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken and all the rest are handicapped. - Duo from the fanfiction "Rival Chatter". “Duo!” a lady wearing a Nun’s garb exclaimed, making the sign of the cross, “Where did all that come from?” she said, mildly horrified. “You didn’t go steal from all those nice people again, did you? You said you weren’t going to do that again!” - Sister Helen from the fanfiction "Rival Chatter". “So he might not even be in this country any more? How long does it normally take to find your mate?” Sirius asked out of curiosity, though part of him screamed at him for even enquiring. “Well, um... I know Sirius, as in the Dog Star Sirius, didn’t find Dorea for um... mumble.” Arcas suddenly found the floor very interesting and started to pick at a loose thread on his long sleeve. Though to be honest, he deliberately made it loose in order to have something to pick with. “Pardon? We didn’t quite hear that.” Remus said through gritted teeth, he heard just fine, he just wanted Arcas to prove what he heard wrong. “Um... Five years.” Arcas mumbled. “What!!” Sirius screamed, making Arcas wince, his ears twitching as they rung with the screech. “Er... Five years. But! Things have moved on so quickly since then! It was over three hundred years ago! I mean, surely there are um... Spells!! Yes! Spells! There must be spells you can use to find him!” Arcas said, practically jumping on the spot with excitement. Well, until he saw the expression on the other two wizard faces. “Oh yes. We have this amazing new spell that came about just a couple of weeks ago, called ‘Find-A-Star-It’s-Soul-Mate.’” Remus said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “You’re being sarcastic aren’t you? Why would some one name a spell that?” Arcas asked, tilting his head to the side. “Yes, I was being sarcastic.” Remus said dryly. - Sirius, Remus, and Harry(or Arcas) from the fanfiction "A Diamond in the Sky". “I do, too,” Cedric agreed. Then he said, “So. Hermione likes Ron.” “Probably,” Harry said. “But she’s dating Krum.” “Which is upsetting Ron, because he likes her.” “Even though he’d never admit it,” Harry added. “And now Cho likes Ron, and thinks Ron likes her,” Cedric said. “Which he might,” Harry said. “But he’s definitely not over Hermione.” “And all of these people are going to be at the party together,” Cedric finished. There was a pregnant pause as the two boys took all this information in. “Straight people have so much drama,” Harry concluded. - Cedric and Harry from the fanfiction "A Lack of Color". The boys are in the Room of Requirement discussing the Drama of the straight ppl in their group. Crowley finished misting the terrified geraniums on the window sill and moved to the large bowl of flourishing angel’s wings on the coffee table; he crouched down to brush aside the green and pink leaves and spray the roots. “Hello, angel,” he murmured with a widening grin. “I suppose you’ll be enjoying my company for quite a long time if you keep putting out at this rate.” He chuckled to himself. “Really, you shouldn’t overexert yourself just to try and impress me. I can keep up with you better than you can me.” He leaned down and exhaled his warm breath onto the verdant leaves. “You like that, don’t you? You want my carbon dioxide, I can ssee it in your trembling sstems. You need me. You can’t live without me. I am your masster, your giver, the one who keepss you alive.” Crowley’s slender fingers stroked the leaves as he pressed his face within the green tangle of vegetation. “Mm, I can ssmell your fear.” He inhaled deeply. “It ssmells sso good. Fear is besst when it’s fresh. You’re aware that I could kill you jusst as ssoon as quench your needs, aren’t you? Does that exssscite you? Does it, angel? Will you beg for mercy when I-” “What the fuck are you doing down there, Crowley?” a perturbed voice interjected. Crowley froze, his face still hidden within the leaves of the plant. He knew that voice. Very slowly and deliberately he turned his head to look out into the kitchen. - A. J. Crowley from the fanfiction "The Revenge of the Houseplants". XD I love this scene to death! -giggles- Crowley's sexually harrassing his Angel Wings plant. and if anyone doesn't know, Crowley is from a book called Good Omens. he's a demon and his... 'friend' is an angel called Aziraphale. XD they're the best people ever! "Ladies and gentlemen of the court, I have a very important announcement." Atem clasped his hands solemnly in front of himself, standing not too far from the throne and facing the council. Only Siamun and Mahado looked unalarmed. Yuugi could see them exchanging knowing glances. Atem let the silence spin out. Set made an impatient kind of gesture. A large, silly grin spread across Atem's face. "It's very windy outside today." And with that, he seated himself on the throne. - Atem from the fanfiction "Written in the Stars". it's a very well-written Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction! XD mmm, Atem/Yuugi... "Christian Screamo is the music for the devil." - XD I actually heard this in my Sunday school class! well, or something to that extent. my friend and i couldn't stop laughing after that. “Fuckin’ bitch,” he wheezed. She gave him a swift kick in the ribs and then dug her heel into a spot between his shoulder blades. “That’s Miss Bitch to you, ass wipe.” - One of the women guards of Kaiba's after capturing Hirutani from the fanfiction "The Last Thing". It's a Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction, XD go read it! "That isn't a word, Emmett!! Take it off the board!!" - Edward Cullen from a convo on livejournal between oxymoronassoc and saint_renegade. they called it "Growing Up Cullen" and apparently, Edward is a Scrabble Nazi. XD and when Emmett refused to take the word off the board, Edward threw the board across the room and went to sulk in his room after he yelled that no one respected games. "Harry Potter is a Gentleman, Emmett!!" - XD Again, Edward Cullen from "Growing Up Cullen". God, I love this chat! "Mother told you never to bring that up again! Or do you not remember why we had to replace my door?! THREE TIMES! I really liked that door, too!" - Edward from "Growing Up Cullen". XD pretty much all my favorite lines are from him! "No, I do not think it big headed to think that I'm as handsome as Cedric! It is just a fact of life! You would be Goyle, Emmett!! GOYLE!!" - Edward, "GUC", following the Gentleman Harry bit in the convo. "What do you mean 'who is Goyle'?! He is an idiot!! LIKE YOU!!" Edward simmers down and then takes it back. "Perhaps I was too cold, Brother. I spoke in anger. I apologize. I really wish we could get along better. Perhaps we should just start fresh? But tomorrow- as I must go to the side of my Dearest, Greatest, Truest, Only Love and inhale the air of her sweet exhale! It is all that gets me through these trying times... Count her eyelashes and pray she will one day accept me for the MONSTER I AM!! --You mean you have never counted Rosalie's eyelashes? --I can but hope she opens her generous heart to my shamble of an existence!! No, Emmett, she is all that sweet and kind! That Mike kid is, as you might say, a dick-- oh my!" Edward laughs slightly. "That word, I feel so dirty! Excuse me, all of you. I am sorry. I must wash my mouth out with soap! No one move until I return! I cannot go to Bella with such a foul word still on my lips! Is it bad enough I thought such things but then to say them? It will never do! Forgive me, Alice! That must have been horrible for you to hear! I am truly sorry! I am going to think about I did! I would understand if you were unable to speak to me for the next few days... IT IS WHAT I DESERVE!! I AM A MONSTER!!" - The melodrama-ness that is Edward from "GUC". Takes place right after the above. I won't lie, I was thinking about Edward-n-Emmett at work toady and decided they totally have a pool table and it is like the one game they can play together because Edward spends hours practicing trick shots but Emmett is genuinely good at the game. THOUGHTS? Edward gets cocky too, like: "AHA, EMMETT, CAN YOU (insert super complicated tick here)? I THINK NOT? SEE WHAT A LITTLE HARD WORK A DETERMINATION WILL GET YOU?" They are both sore ass losers too, Emmett gets all huffy and breaks stuff, Edward just gives him the silent treatment for like two days. "WELL IF SOMEONE WASN'T A CHEATER, PERHAPS I'D BE TALKING TO EVERYONE, ROSE." Edward is always screaming at Emmett about leaning on the table and: "UPSETTING THE DELICATE BALANCE OF THE FELT. DO NOT PUT YOUR DRINK THERE EMMETT!! WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE A DRINK? OH MY GOD ARE YOU TRYING TO ANNOY ME??" Emmett totally hits the cue ball too hard sometimes and explodes it and Edward is like: "THAT WAS MY FAVOURITE CUE BALL EMMETT. HOW COULD YOU?! ESME GOT ME THAT FOR CHRISTMAS. THAT DRINK WILL STAIN THE TABLE, FATHER BOUGHT THIS FOR US AND TRUSTED US TO APPRECIATE IT, NOT USE IT AS A COASTER. YOU OBVIOUSLY CARE NOT ABOUT MY FEELINGS BUT DO YOU ALSO HAVE DISDAIN FOR FATHER? WHY? HE IS SO COMPASSIONATE EMMETT, THIS WOULD UPSET HIM SO GREATLY. WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE WON'T MIND AND WILL JUST BUY US A NEW TABLE?! THAT IS A POOR ATTITUDE TO TAKE, EMMETT. WE MAY BE MILLIONAIRES, BUT THAT IS NO REASON TO BE SO WASTEFUL. THINK OF THE ENVIRONMENT. THINK OF THE CHILDREN. THINK OF THE WHALES!! THE TREES!! YOU DISGUST ME WITH YOUR CRASS COMMERCIALISM. THIS TABLE WILL SPEND ETERNITY IN A LANDFILL IF WE WERE TO THROW IT AWAY. IT WILL BE MUCH LIKE MYSELF, DESTINED TO SPEND FOREVER ALONE AND EMPTY, FILLED WITH WASTED POTENTIAL. DO YOU REALLY WISH IT THAT FATE? STOP TWIRLING THE POOL STICKS, THEY ARE NOT TOYS! YOU DON'T GROW BACK EYES, EMMETT. NO I DO NOT THINK IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS TO PRETEND TO FENCE WITH THEM. THESE ARE SPORTING EQUIPMENT, MADE FOR A PURPOSE. WE MUST RESPECT THAT. YOU MOST OF ALL SHOULD UNDERSTAND SUCH THINGS!! DO STOP WAVING THAT AT ME IN A THREATENING MANNER, EMMETT. I KNOW YOU'D LIKE TO JAB ME IN THE POSTERIOR WITH IT ON THE WAY UPSTAIRS BUT THAT WOULD BE JUST PLAIN UNKIND. FENCING IS AN ART FORM DONE BY PROFESSIONALS, YOU WANT TO LEARN? TAKE LESSONS. I OFFERED TO DO SO WITH YOU ABOUT 15 YEARS AGO AND YOU LAUGHED IN MY FACE AND CALLED ME SOMETHING DEGRADING...YES, I STILL REMEMBER THAT, I HAD TO SPEND THE WEEK WITH TANYA AFTER THAT I WAS SO HURT. OH PLEASE, EMMETT, NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN TANYA AND MYSELF, I AM REALLY INSULTED THAT YOU CONTINUE TO BRING THAT UP, THOUGH IT'S BEEN A TOPIC I'VE ASKED YOU TO AVOID IN COUNTLESS FAMILY MEETINGS, SPEAKING OF WHICH, WE ARE HAVING ONE TONIGHT TO DISCUSS THE NEW LAUNDRY SCHEDULE I AM ORGANIZING." - Again, Edward from "GUC". XD gotta love them! LOL CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM WHEN NESSIE IS AROUND? HE'S LIKE SCREAMING AT THE TV AND THEN EDWARD IS SHOUTING ABOUT NESSIE BEING ASLEEP AND THEN THE BABY STARTS TO CRY, SO ROSALIE GOES TO SHOUT AT BOTH OF THEM. Emmett: OH WHATEVER, THE KID NEEDS TO MAN UP! YOU AND BELLA AND LOCH NESS NEED TO MOVE THE HELL OUT ANYWAY! WHY HAVEN'T YOU BROKEN THAT HOUSE YET? I MEAN CHRIST YOU HAVE A KID AND SHIT. STEP IT UP! Edward: EMMETT I AM SURPRISED, I KNEW YOU HAD NO CARE FOR ME, BUT FOR MY PURE, INNOCENT, BEAUTIFUL CHILD? WHAT HAS SHE DONE TO YOU? Emmett: THAT KID IS CREEPY. I DON'T WANT TO SEE A PLAY BY PLAY OF HER DROOLING ON JACOB WHEN I AM TRYING TO WATCH THE GAME. IT DISTRACTS ME. and you know Jacob creeps him out. he's like: Emmett: HEY BABY STUD, WHY DON'T YOU GO CHECK OUT POON AT TOYS R US AND LEAVE ROSALIE THE HELL ALONE? DUDE YOUR KID IS LIKE 8 MONTHS OLD AND MAKING GOO-GOO EYES AT THE DOG. I DON'T LIKE IT. NO, ROSALIE! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS. LIKE I AM SURE IT WILL WORK OUT IN THE END, BUT FOR NOW I AM SENDING CHRIS HANSEN A STRONGLY WORDED EMAIL ABOUT THE DOG. PEOPLE NEED TO BE AWARE! ADMIT IT--IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS IF HE SHOWED UP AT OUR HOUSE. Edward: EMMETT IF YOU WONT RESPECT MY FAMILY I WILL BE FORCED TO LEAVE!! DO YOU WANT THAT? TO EXILE ME FROM MY OWN KIN?? Emmett: GO THEN, YOU HAVEN'T CLEANED THE BATHROOM SINCE BELLA MOVED IN! Edward: YOU ARE A CRUEL UNCARING MONSTER Emmett: YOU'RE OF NO USE AND COME WITH TOO MUCH BAGGAGE! YEAH JACOB, I SEE THROUGH THAT IMPRINT SHIT, I KNOW YOU CHECK OUT ROSE'S ASS! YOU DONT CALL HER BLONDIE JUST BECAUSE SHE ANNOYS YOU. I THINK YOU HAVE SOME ISSUES, BRO. DON'T MACK ON MY WIFE LIKE THAT, ALL RIGHT? I WILL HAVE TO BREAK YOUR SORT OF BEAUTIFUL FACE. YOU DON'T SEE MY PERVING ON EDWARD'S SPAWN DO YOU? NO! I JUST WANT TO WATCH THE GAME, MAN. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK? LIKE I DON'T SEND ROSALIE TO ANNOY YOU WHEN YOU'RE PEEING ON TREES AND SHIT. FOR AN HOUR, I JUST DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THE PEDO, OR THE BABY, OR BELLA'S LOVE SHIELD, OK, LATER ON, WE CAN DO THE WHOLE BRANDY BUNCH THING. ALICE - GET OUT OF THE ROOM!! DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME, JUST GO!! JACOB, YOU HAVE TO SIT ON THE OTHER END OF THE COUCH TILL THE GAME IS OVER. GIVE EDWARD THE BABY. NO, DON'T BRING IT OVER HERE!! SHE DOESN'T GET THE ART OF THE SPORT, MAN!! SHE JUST ASKS DUMB MENTAL QUESTIONS AND I CANT CONCENTRATE!! NO, EDWARD SPAWN, DON'T TRY AND TOUCH MY CHEEK AND SHIT!! RESPECT PERSONAL SPACE, MAN!! --IT KNOWS IT CAN TALK RIGHT? LIKE, HEY KID, LOOK AT ME- PEOPLE TALK! THEY DON'T CHEEK-TOUCH!! YOU CANT GO AROUND TOUCHING CHEEKS. PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT. IT'S CREEPY. JESUS EDWARD, DO YOU NOT TEACH THE SPAWN ANYTHING? ALSO IT GIVES PEOPLE PIMPLES. AND THAT IS TOTALLY UNCOOL, MAN. Edward: EMMETT, I HAVE ASKED YOU MANY TIMES TO PLEASE REFER TO NESSIE AS HER NAME, AND NOT THE SPAWN!! - Edward and Emmett from "GUC" XD and the next part following this is the best by far! Emmett totally LOL's whenever someone calls it renesmee. he's like: Emmett: ROSE, DID YOU SAY YOU LIKED THAT SHIT JUST TO FUCK WITH BELLA? LIKE DID YOU GIVE HER SOMETHING BESIDES MORPHINE? BECAUSE IF SO, I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE THAN I THOUGHT I DID, BABE! Emmett: WE ARE NAMING OUR KID EMMETTALIE IF WE EVER GET ONE. YOU KNOW BUY ONE FROM CHINA LIKE ANGIE, IF YOU WANT, SWEETIE. BOY OR GIRL, THAT'S IT'S NAME. IT'LL KICK THIS KID'S ASS! THE MIDDLE NAME IS GOING TO BE BASEBALL, THOUGH. DOES THAT WORK FOR YOU, HON? OR WARDO, WHICHEVER. -Edward storms into the room- Edward: EMMETT, YOU AGREED TO NEVER USE THAT NAME AGAIN!! ALSO, IT HURTS NESSIE WHEN YOU MOCK HER NAME SO! SHE IS PART OF OUR FAMILY, EMMETT!! IT IS LIKE STABBING YOURSELF IN THE ARM WHEN YOU USE SUCH WORDS!! HER AND BELLA'S HAPPINESS IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IN THE WORLD TO ME, NOW! I WOULD RATHER DIE A THOUSANDS DEATH THAN TO SEE HER UPSET FOR ONE MOMENT!! - Edward and Emmett from "GUC" XD told you it was awesomeness!! “But Harry just did it,” Edward stated in shock. “Yes, and he’s Harry Bloody Potter,” Draco cut in impatiently. “The laws of the universe don’t really apply to him. He can do whatever the fuck he wants.” - Edward Cullen and Draco Malfoy from "Nothing Left to Hold". XD oh, Draco's line cracks me up so much! 'God, he's sex. That's it. He's not handsome, or exquisite or lovely, or even hot or sexy. He's just sex, through and through. That should be on his office door instead of Potions Master: Severus Snape – sex.' - Harry Potter's thoughts on Severus Snape in the story "The Scios Totalus of Legend". XD Best. Line. Ever! "No more talking," Harry pleaded. "Sex now, talk later." - Harry Potter from "The Scios Totalus of Legend". XD I couldn't stop laughing for 5 minutes after I read this! "So, son, how is your Japanese progressing?" his father asked as he had started doing practically every night as they sat on the floor around the table--on the floor not because their furniture hadn't arrived, but because his father insisted cushions were supposed to be furniture now. "Uh... fine, okaa-san," Hikaru pronounced, with careful attention to repeating the word exactly as he heard it earlier. His father, unappreciative of the effort his son had put in, thunked his head against the heel of his hand. "That's mother!" "Great food, okaa-san," Hikaru said, unbothered by his mistake. "Thank you, dear," his mother said with a complacent smile. - Hikaru from "Stepping Stones". XD an awesome Hikaru no Go fic where Hikaru is American and moves to Japan! "Mickey D's," Hikaru reminded him. "You'll love it. I found one at... ahm..." He managed to remember and pronounce the directions successfully, which made him proud of himself. Isumi looked slightly puzzled. "Okay, but is one closer." Hikaru came to a dead stop. "What? There is? There's more than one? You guys know McDonald's? Could I have been getting real food all along if I'd just known to go looking?" Isumi tried to look apologetic and just related the conversation to Waya instead of answering him. "Why didn't you ever say?" Hikaru demanded petulantly, not wailing but only by force of will. Waya just started laughing at him again. - Hikaru from "Stepping Stones" again. XD he had just discovered that yes, Japan does in fact have a McDonald's. lmao, and Isumi had kept that fact a secret from him all this time; making him resort to eating ramen instead-- with badly held chopsticks, no less! "Yes, God Damnit!" "No, Satan Praise it!" - Me and my friend Jeremy chatting online. XD i'm bugging him to finish his final, and he's telling me no. so we're both in this epic argument filled with "nooooo"s and "yeeeeeeessss"s and the occasional swears from myself and Jeremy in his responses. XD i just love his response to my 'yes' right here! Georgie the Gargoyle led a mostly peaceful life. He had a pretty easy job with decent hours and good benefits. While there was a slight risk of bodily harm involved, it was mostly negated by the fact that he was made entirely of stone. What really validated his job, though, wasn't the high respect others gave him, or the pay, or even the amazing dental plan. No, what validated his job was getting to watch people guess his password. Today, Georgie was having an especially entertaining day. "Chocolate Frogs." Georgie didn't move. "Ice Mice." Georgie was completely still. "Cauldron Cakes." Georgie remained unmoved. "Oh, oh! My turn!" Harry eagerly bumped Snape away from Georgie and leaned close. "Sheer leggings." Georgie did a beautiful imitation of a mountain. "Laundry detergent." Georgie didn't move a stone muscle. "Dirty socks." "Wright, are you even trying?" An attempt by Snape to reclaim the spot in front of Georgie failed. "Eiffel Tower-shaped rock." Georgie was beginning to feel a bit nervous. "Ten-sided snowflake." Georgie resisted the urge to squirm. "Oh my goodness, I inadvertently placed that rubber sock somewhere it wasn't supposed to go." Georgie, realizing this person obviously knew his employer well enough to get into his office, leapt aside before his mind was scarred anymore. Snape gave Harry an incredulous look. "How—" "You don't want to know." Harry assured him quickly. - Harry Potter and Severus Snape from the fanfiction "On The Danger Of Stepping Outside Your Office Door". XD i couldn't stop laughing at this part! "Harry Potter has a disease," Draco jumped in. "It's called 'open mouth, insert foot'. He's suffered from it for years and years, and just when we think we've got it under control, it flares up suddenly and violently like this. I'll make sure he starts taking his potions again." - Draco Malfoy talking to Hermione Granger in the fanfiction "The Problem with Purity". XD i just seem to find the funniest things in the fanfiction i read! That's what courage is: being the only one who knows you're scared shitless. - Reno's thoughts from the fanfic "Green Dreams". -giggles- He just broke into the copy room to prove to Cloud that he can get around Shinra HQ without any problems, even with alcohol in his system. "Well, did he open it?" "Yeah." "And?" "He said, 'If you have enough time to raid every vending machine in the compound, then you can do all this.'" "What? That's why I sent you to get all those Snickers!" "I know." "Well, Cloud, have a seat. I'm going to teach you the finer points of paperwork." "You're not serious." Isn't that illegal? "Cloud, the art of paperwork is to skim for specific words. If you see 'Scarlet', 'Hojo', anything to do with the science department in fact, rip it in half and toss it in the garbage can. Now, this is Sephiroth's signature. Notice all the perfectly circular loops. If it's addressed to him, sign his name. If it's addressed to me, scribble something that has a big 'Z' in the front." "I'm kidding Cloud." - Zack Fair and Cloud Strife from "Green Dreams". lol, you gotta love Zack. There is among wizards—among all men, I think—an unspoken code which we learn in childhood and practice instinctively all our lives. Before you declare any man to be completely without honor, ask him whether he'd kick another man in the balls. Women do it all the time, indeed, far more often than is necessary; but men never do it to one another. It's simply understood. A man who kicks another man there is a traitor to his sex and not to be trusted. He just might do anything. In other words, he is a true Slytherin. - Draco Malfoy in "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy". XD Draco, god, i love you so. So just after he says this long paragraph, what does he do to the male wizard holding him from behind so Draco doesn't escape? -smirks- that's right. He's a traitor to his sex. He gave the man a good kick in the balls to get to his Weasel-Bee! that's right, you heard me. Weasel-Bee. Gotta love me some Draco/Ron slash X3 Why the hell would aliens be speaking English? It was hardly a universal language. Hell, it was made of several languages thrown together. If Harry could compare English to anything it would be the mugger's language, it follows other languages down alley-ways and beats them up before rifling through their pockets for spare vocabulary – at least that was what Hermione said about it. - Harry Potter in "Firefly" a Harry Potter/Avatar crossover. The tall blue aliens, not the small bald monk who bends air, in case you were wondering. |
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