Current status: I've been working as a full time elementary school teacher for the past couple of years now. It's not all it's cracked up to be.

Stuff I usually write: Humour, parody, drama, poetry, angst

Fandoms:

You can skip the PR craziness below.

[Gruumm's lair, 2025]

Gruumm: The end is near. I will destroy SPD from within.

Meanwhile...

[SPD HQ, 2025]

Cruger: B-Squad, a job well done. However, challenges lie ahead and this is only the beginning.

Bridge: Uh, Sir, I'm sensing Gruumm's thoughts. He's going to destroy SPD from within... There's a traitor in our midst-

Cruger: Damn it!

Jack: Is anything wrong, Sir?

Cruger: (suspiciously) Uh, nothing. Just a furball.

Sydney: I thought Kat's the one with furballs. (Cruger growls)

Z: (whispers) Can it, Syd, before Cruger goes canine on you.

Sky: So, who do think the traitor is?

Bridge: It's not me, is it? At least I think it isn't me, because if I'm me but not me, then who am I?...

Cruger: (thinking) Suckers.

[Dino Lair, 2004]

Kira: (suspiciously) What are you guys doing?

Conner: (innocently) Uh, nothing.

Ethan: (ignoring Kira)(to Dr. O) Just a press of the button, and we're done.

Tommy: (hesitant) You're sure this won't wreck the mainframe?

Ethan: Positively sure. I'm telling you, we will have access to all of the gaming world...! (grins cunningly)

Kira: Busted.

Trent: Ethan, you just blew our cover!

Kira: When Hayley finds out you guys are up to, you're all dead meat.

Ethan: But that doesn't mean she'll ever find out. (presses button)

The lights black out, the power shuts down.

Trent: (dryly) Nice going.

Ethan: (nervously) Heh heh. Look on the bright side, guys. At least Hayley will never find us in the dark.

[The clocktower, 2001]

Wes: You guys will never believe what just happened!

Katie: Let me guess... you met a girl!

Jen: (jealousy arouses)(folding her arms)

Wes: No, even better! I found a dollar on the floor!

Trip: (smacks his forehead and cuts his hand with his gem) Ow.

Lucas: (to Wes) And what about your odd job?

Wes: Oops. Gotten down as a D.N.F.

Trip: A what?

Wes: (weak laugh) D.N.F. - Did Not Finish.

[Ninja Ops, Blue Bay Harbor, 2003]

Shane: ...The powers of air, earth and water combined can prove to be very powerful...

Student: (raises hand) And air, earth and water are represented by the colours red, yellow and blue respectively?

Tori: Right.

Student: But the colour on my uniform's white!

Dustin: Oops. I guess that's where I dropped the uncapped bottle of bleach-

Cam: DDUUSSTTIINN! DON'T TELL ME YOU DROPPED THAT BOTTLE ON MY CLOTHES TOO!

Dustin: (gulps) Erm... that too.

Sensei: (wakes from afternoon nap)(blurting) Why's my fur white?

[Turtle Cove, 2002]

TV reporter: ... and it seems that Turtle Cove has been infiltrated by millions of angry terrapins...

Cole: Ooh... my jungle friends have returned.

Max: What are you talking about? They're attacking the city!

Alyssa: What should we do?

Danny: Never give up.

Taylor: What kind of plan is that? Never give up? I bet Merrick can think of a better plan than that. Right, Merrick? (nudges him)

Merrick: Uh... right. Oh right! Erm... erm... run?

[In front of a gigantic rock, Mirinoi, 1999]

Leo: (grunts) Urgh!

Kendrix: It's no use!

Kai: I don't believe it!

Damon: The quasar sabres won't budge!

Maya: We've been chosen... not to be chosen.