Well hello ! If your are here, it means that you are either lost, a cucumber, or one of my readers. If so, welcome on this page !

Introduction huh ? Well let's do that.

sex : Male

Age : the right one to write fanfics

country : Look at the little flag.

Now, about my tastes.

Would you believe me if I told you I manage to like both Warhammer 40000 (dark universe) and Naruto (much brighter universe) ? Well too bad if you don't. I am a man of contradictions.

As for my philosophy of life ... well, here's a personnal quote : "Sanity is just the most common form of insanity."

Now, a little link for the Map of Rise of the Skulk (sadly, doesn't feel like letting us put links on our profiles. My sadness is overwhelming.)

Original Uzumaki jutsu :

ATTENTION, the techniques that follow are the result of some intense thinking on my part, if you find them interesting and want to use them, then ASK. If I see even ONE story using them without my authorization, I'll make your life FREAKIN HELL! Now, enjoy.

First, the Uzumaki kekkei genkai should be treated. It is dissimilar to other bloodlines, only bearing ressemblance with one bloodline. The great particularity of the Uzumaki blood is that it allows to channel Senjutsu chakra without mixing it with the person's chakra, thus ensuring no adverse effect come from contact with natural energy. This natural energy is, in turn, used to create seals of exceptionnal strength and complexity.

This bloodline has several side effects. An Uzumaki wanting to learn Senjutsu would find it to be easier than a member of any other clan. Due to the need to isolate the person from the natural energy, the chakra of an Uzumaki is thicker, stronger, more potent, thus strengthening the life force of the Uzumaki.

In theory, should an Uzumaki sage train enough with Senjutsu chakra and make its integration a subconscious process he would be able to simply stay in sage mode indefinitely due to the constant absorbtion of natural energy induced by his bloodline. In theory.

Disarming scrolls

Due to the ungodly amount of dangerous and extremely lethal seals, sealing experiments gone FUBAR, and the Uzumaki love for overkill when it comes to filling an area with traps, it became apparent very, VERY quickly that it would be beneficial, both in terms of safety and time management, to create a seal that could disable ALL seals in a certain, and preferably large, radius. However, due to the size of the seal it had to be placed on a scroll, though a small one (this is the official version, the real reason was misdirection, the relatively simple seal was hidden among a large sealing array that was specifically designed to do absolutely nothing).

These seals were part of the reason only the Uzumaki ever really worked on fuinjutsu: Other clans found it useless to really work on an extremely complicated art that could be so easily disabled by an opponent (forgetting that the Uzumaki were the ones to have develloped Fuinjutsu and thus could perfectly have hidden a weakness in the art that only they would be able to exploit), and any family gifted in fuinjutsu had been kindly offered a place in the Uzumaki clan (or discreetly removed). By the time the Uzumaki clan was no more, the general populace's average talent for Fuinjutsu was five times lower than the chance to have a large enough chakra network to use ninjutsu, and Fuinjutsu was more or less abandonned, with the exception of a few, limited fields of study.

It should be noted that the seals containing the Bijuu were the only ones without the hidden "off switch", mainly because it would be quite problematic to have a Bijuu randomly released while using these scrolls. It makes for a harder escape.

Fuin Bunshin :

There are many variants of the clone technique, such as the basic illusionary clone, the various elemental clones, or the Shadow Clone. None, however, had the potential of the Uzumaki Sealing Clone technique. Those clones are a seal of such complexity, that only the most skilled Uzumaki seal-masters could create them on their own.

Most of the time, these clones are created through the use of a sealing matrix inscribed on a large scroll that passively gather natural energy and must be recharged after use, a process that takes time. Those sealing matrixes being both large and excedingly difficult to create, they were rare, even during Uzushio's days of glory, and only two clones per scrolls may be created before emptying the scroll's reserves of natural energy.

Additionnally, using more than one scroll per person proved to have very ... adverse effects on one's health and overall flexibility.

However, despite these drawbacks, the Seal Clone remains the most powerful clone technique ever created for one reason : It couples the advantages of the Shadow Clone with a resilience superior to that of the Mud Clone, only surpassed in this domain by the A-rank Stone Clone, and adds in the fact that the clones have exactly the same reserves as the caster of the technique.

Fuinjutsu : Kagutsuchi's breath

This seal, named after the god of purificating and destructive fire, completely evaporates the water from the surface it is placed upon, and can turn a man into mummified husk in a matter of seconds. (Exists in tags)

Fuinjutsu : Kagutsuchi's hatred
Like its predecessor, this seal evaporates water, but instead of striking a sole target, this one affects a large zone. A ward was added to the array to avoid any burn on the caster from the overheated water vapor. (Can be deployed with scrolls)

Fuinjutsu : kiss of Jigoku

This seal cause accelerated necrosis of the limb upon which it is placed, causing tremendous pain along the way. Mostly used to disable an opponent for capture, but can be fatal if placed on the torso or head. (Exists in tags)

Fuinjutsu : Embrace of Jigoku

This is a strengthened version of the Kiss of Jigoku, and rots the whole body while setting the nerves ablaze. The sight of a comrade rotting alive and their screams of despair and pain were enough to break the morals of many ennemies of Uzushio. (Exists in tags)

Fuinjutsu : Fury of Jigoku

One of the most devastating weapons in the Uzumaki arsenal, it can turn anyone around the caster into a rotting corpse. The radius of effect is determined by the amount of chakra pumped in the seal. (Can be deployed with scrolls)

Fuinjutsu : Warriors of Jigoku

Without a doubt the most gruesome seal ever created by an Uzumaki, it raises the decayed corpses of those that have fallen victim to other seals of Jigoku and force them to fight for the caster. All the while, the tortured souls of the fallen scream in agony and despair, calling onto their allies to flee or destroy them.

A family among the Uzumaki clan specialized in the use of the seals of Jigoku, and became known as the Emissaries of Yomi or Heralds of Jigoku. It was said that when facing one of them, it was wiser to kill oneself.

Fuinjutsu : Glare of Jigoku (Kinjutsu)

Signature technique of Uzumaki Daigoro, the infamous Champion of Jigoku. When activated it caused everything to whither and die under its user's gaze, and with barely an effort, place on the rotten corpses the seal to reanimate them. With a single sweep of his gaze, Daigoro could obliterate an army, with another sweep, the army would rise again as a mass of rotten corpses, screaming and weeping. Due to the destructive potential of this technique, the Sealing Council of Uzu decided to ban its use and forbid its creator from teaching it. Daigoro himself supported this decision, calling the technique an abomination that should never have been created, and refused to use the technique unless absolutely necessary.

Fuinjutsu : Descent into Jigoku

This particular seal was applied to the Uzumaki clan's most hated enemies. It drags them to the darkest corners of the underworld, where they will rot alive for all of eternity, begging their cruel Oni jailors for mercy, only to recieve none. It was used extensively during the fall of Whirlpool. (Exists in tags)

Fuinjutsu : Blessing of the four rings

Created by Uzumaki Mito, renowned as Mito of the Thousand Seals, this seal is based on the distant legacy of a long lost religious order and allows the bearer to bend wind, earth, fire and water to their will. To accomodate this, Mito adapted the Uzumaki martial art and used its moves to better control the elements. Using this seal, Mito could fight Uchiha Madara or Senju Hashirama to a standstill, and could easily brush off Senju Tobirama.

Fuinjutsu : Destroyer's claws

Signature technique of Soburo the Unbroken. Soburo, through meditation, was able to sense natural energy far better than any Uzumaki before and use it as a canva to draw this seal, one that is far more detailed than any three dimensionnal seal ever created before. It forms a 'gauntlet' of sorts on each of the user's forearms and create three spikes from the gauntlet. The spikes can be fired,either in a straight line, or to a target bearing a special seal, in which case they will chase the target down until they find it. Once the spikes are fired, three new spikes are created.

Fuinjutsu : Grudge of the Thunder God

This technique was designed during the Clan Wars, when the Raisotsu and Uzumaki were faced with a clan fast enough to evade the Lightening techniques of the Raisotsu. This seal, as a counter, turn the surface upon which it is placed into the most attractive thing in the world for any lightning bolt, chakra created or not. The opposing clan was wiped out. (Exists in tags)

Fuinjutsu : Raijin's sneer

Building up on lightning manipulation, this seal was develloped as an easily placeable and deadly trap. This seal is deployed in pairs and creates a powerful bolt of lightning between the two seals when something or someone bearing chakra passes between them. When such a seal has been placed, use Disarming scrolls before leaving the area (unless it's populated by enemies). (Exists in tags)

Fuinjutsu :Fujin's smile

Sister seal of Raijin's sneer, this seal creates a permanent and invisible blade of wind between them, causing anything passing between them to be cut in two. When such a seal has been placed, use Disarming scrolls before leaving the area (unless it's populated by enemies). (Exists in tags)

Fuinjutsu : Deva path, Shinra Tensei/Bansho Ten'in

Through Fuinjutsu, the most talented Uzumaki seal masters can temporarily awaken the distant legacy of the Rikudo Sennin in their blood, allowing them to generate bursts of gravity to either repel or pull their enemies. Only the most talented seal masters of the Uzumaki could even hope of using this technique, and it took them decades of study of the sealing arts and meditation.

Fuinjutsu : Kyuchiose

Decades before the battle that saw their fall, the Uzumaki made an important discovery in one of the mines of the island : fossils, by the hundreds. While most of them were of small, inconsequetial creatures, others ... not so much. Uzumaki Hanto, clan head of the time, took an interest in the massive bones extracted from the depth of the earth and began experimenting with seals. For years, he worked on his project, until one day he presented the results of his work to the clan. One creature, a bipedal reptile, the heighth of a man, its skin made of scales black as the night, sinister red light emanating from its eyes, mouth and cracked torso, wisps of black smoke made of kanji emanating from its body. And it obeyed him without the need of voicing his commands. The Uzumaki never had a summoning contract, on this day, they created one.

The clan as a whole began studying the Living Seal, as it was called, and proceeded to reproduce it, creating many such creatures for various purposes, and earning resilient and powerful auxiliaries for their militaries. Most of those constructs were destroyed in the fall of Uzushio, but some were sent back to the dimensional warehouse where the Uzumaki stored their artificials summons, waiting for another scion of Uzu to come and claim the right to call them to battle again.

Among them, those are most notable.

Tatsumaki (tornado)

Once ruler of the skies, this creature now serves the Uzumaki clan, bringing death from the sky with terrifying efficiency. With a wingspan of 13 feet, its black, scaled silhouette and the haunting blue lights coming from the inside of its restored husk, the demonic looking creature brought fear to the heart of many enemies of Uzushio and wrought untold havok with its last master at the fall of Uzushio.

The seals engraved in its ancient bones allow it to breath a scorching blue fire and enhance it further with the wind techniques its wings can send, making it an instrument of aerial destruction of unparalleled efficiency.

Sansaku Yama (walking mountain)

When it still breathed, it is no doubt that few creatures could stand up to it. This heavily built creature walks on its hind legs, its armored back flat and parallel to the ground, a massive head with a large jaw turning left and right, searching for a prey sitting at the end of its thick neck, and a long and muscled tail balancing its enormous torso. 56 feet long, as tall as a house, a spectral green fire burning in its mouth and eyes, this monster is the biggest survivor of a whole brigade of its brethren and killed many shinobi in the fall of Uzushio.

The ground rumbles under its feet, shaking with each of its steps, and should its master wish it, rise to do its bidding or coat the three already vicious claws sitting at the end of each of its arms, turning them into deadly swords.

Mannen no Shiro (castle of eternity/ten thousand years)

This titan is one of the biggest creatures to ever be, its staggering size placing it on par with the Bijuu. How such a creature could sustain itself is a mystery, but its bones bear witness to its might. This collossal quadrupedal reptile is tortoise like in appearance, its back covered with a thick, massive bony shell, an enormous head with a maw filled with razor sharp teeth the size of a sword protudes from it along with four wide legs and a, relatively, small tail. Even at discovery, its bones hummed with natural energy, and now that the seals of the Uzumaki clans have been applied to them, the mastodont is a conduct of the wrath of nature.

Capable of bending all five elements to its will and invoking attacks of pure chakra, the castle of eternity has limited consciousness, allowing it to communicate telepathically with its summoner. It was designed as a way of fighting the Biju on equal grounds. It was a success.

Kuroiwa no Yoroi (black stone armour)

These creatures were raltively small sized compared to some of the other summons the Uzumaki had in their service, being only 20 feet long, 5 feet large and 5.6 feet tall. However their modest size and bulky appearance was compensated by thick plates of dense, stone-hard bones covering the whole back, giving the creature a natural suite of armour. Due to their already formidable armour, turned to a dense stone by the passage of time and made even more resilient by the Uzumaki seals, they were made into mobile vaults and earned their name. However, it gave them little use on the battlefield, prompting the Uzumaki seal-masters to rework on them. The result was a number of variants, each specialised in a particular task, from prisoner transport to life support, to even mobile sealing platforms. However, the most devastating variation was the one nicknamed Father of Armies. This particular variant housed four Fuin Bunshin scrolls, allowing entire squads of high level shinobi to triple in size, making heavy assault teams all the more destructive. Additionnally, these platforms sped up the natural energy absorption rate of the scrolls, allowing for a more frequent usage.

Various equipment:

Thunder cloud bombs : These modified smoke bomb contain an enormous number of ash particles that are the focus of many small seals that generate electricity. Sending a bit of chakra in them before throwing them awakens the seals, and a simple chakra pulse of the user activate them. The strenght of the seals can vary greatly, going from a simple shock to a lethal discharge.

Plague cloud bomb Like it's brethren, this modified smoke bomb is filled with ash particles serving as focus for small seals. In this case, the seals are chakra draining seals. While simply an annoyance to most jonin, it can prove problematic to chunin and downright deadly to genin.

Directionnal mines : These modified exploding tags have a small storage pocket dimension added, filled with senbon. They are trigered by proximity and, half a second before detonation, will release the senbon in a tight pack. The collapse of the pocket dimension gives enough punch to compensate for the loss of power caused by the smaller exploding seal.

Multidirectionnal mines : Same as above, but slightly larger, with a larger pocket dimension, and deploying the senbon in a roughly semi-spherical shape for greater spread.

Kushina's Tetsubo, from Rise of the Skulk

Name : Bishamon's Will

This weapon is among the most ancient treasures of the Uzumaki clan, and was found in a dilapidated shrine dedicated to Bishamon, Tutelar Protector of Warriors and Punisher of Criminals. Even the most talented seal masters of the clan were never able to decipher the matrix covering the weapon, only describing it as "something out of this world."

Uzumaki Kushina led a recovery team through the ruins of Uzushio to recover it from its hiding place among the wreakage, and used it with terrible efficiency for many years, most notably in the Third Shinobi World War, where she earned one of the highest kill count of the war.

About SasuHina :

Rant 1
It's a simple probability issue really. Would Sasuke and Hinata be led to have children by whatever twisted plot the fans could come up with, the only possibility would be as follow :

Since both Dojutsu are more than probably dominant genes, then they will fight to express themselves at the same time, resulting in an eye constituted of parts of two different types of eyes, the result being a completely disfonctionnal eye, and maybe even total blindness. Hell, if the process is straining enough, the kid will be dead before it's even born.
Result : Sasuke dumps Hinata to find another woman to bring plenty of little Uchihas in the world; Hinata, heartbroken, see all of her confidence issues coming back up and commits suicide. Thanks, you killed the best female character of the whole serie.

Rant 2

I noticed something interesting. After the timeskip, when the Akastuki was revealed, there was a swarm of pairing with Hinata. What's the link with SasuHina ? Simple : There are out there people that want to pair Hinata with the first psychopath they see, because YES Sasuke is now a complete psycho and there is currently a disturbing increase in SasuHina.

May I indicate that SasuHina is just as logical as the HinaAkastuki pairings ? Yes I can, and I can also tell you that it's absolutely IMPOSSIBLE !

Rant 3, new version
Chapter 700 peeps, you can't fght canon!

Challenge :

N1

Naruto, kekkei genkai

Here are the conditions :

1)Naruto has one (very) particular kekkei genkai : Dumb Luck. Yeah, his main weapon is his ungodly luck.

2) NaruHina. No Harem

3) Character bashing is up to you

To put it simply, Naruto has an incredible luck, sometimes bordering on precognition, the results being : Naruto is the bane of all casinos, he can beat an opponent of equal or slightly superior skill through sheer dumb luck. You can imagine the effects on his every day life.

It's up to you to decide if the kekkei must be unlocked or not, but it's magnitude is limited (meaning he can't beat Orochimaru, though his luck could save him from an annoying seal).

If you're interested or want more information, mail me please.

N2

Feral Naruto

You probably know of the classic "feral Naruto" challenge, this one isn't really different. Same idea, for whatever reason, the seal screws up and Naruto ends up more or less fusing with Kyubi, ending up feral, with fox ears and tail(s).

Well, now my challenge is particular because the merging causes a 'ripple' to be created in the nature chakra and ... the same thing happens to every container. So, Gaara ends up with racoon tail and ears (and an overly cute behavior, shocking everyone in Suna), Fuu finds herself with six insect wings, Han has five horns protuding from his head, etc. Please note that, while they all gain a feral quality in their behavior, they are in no way as effected as Naruto is.

Requirements :

1) NaruHina. (his instinct identify her as a positive presence because of her kindness towards him)

2) No Akatsuki, Obito died when Minato shoved a rasengan in his back.

3) Uchiha massacre happened, Itachi just had one hell of a hardest task.

4) you MUST at one point of the story, make a slideshow of the containers to show how they deal with their transformation.

5) At one point, you MUST have Killer Bee jumping all around Kumo and screaming "I'm a squid with horns, a legend is born!" with his brother chasing him off to make him shut the f*k up. This may become a running (or jumping) gag.

6) you may have team 8 visiting Taki, and Fuu abducting Shino to have her way with him (she needs love).

7) Please avoid bashing

8) please make it funny

9) If Naruto doesn't find a way to go back to normal, then Hinata must take up his dream.

If you're interested or want more information, mail me please.

The Ten Commandments of Reviewing - created by FictionReader98 and Zoneshifter D
1) Thou shalt point out the parts you enjoy
2) Thou shalt point out the parts you disliked, if any.
3) Thou shalt point out the parts you utterly hated and explain why
4) Thou shalt write with good grammar!!
5) Thou shalt not give annonymous reviews, for the authors might want to reply to thine criticism!
6) Thou shalt not flame
7) Thou shalt write a four sentence paragraph minimum!
8) Thou shalt use constructive criticism!
9) Thou shalt review as much as possible, not merely once!
10) Thou shalt voice thine expectations.

" Cows go 'moo', dogs go 'woof', MMO-players go 'the PvP is unbalanced' " (Zero punctuation)

" I keep saying modern shooters should stop blowing their forebears, christ that came out wrong " (zero punctuation)

" Every now and again, the planets would align and I'd be affected by wierd cosmic rays and suddenly all I want to do is play a nice fantasy RPG, not a JRPG, god no, it's just space radiations, not the infinite power of christ " (Zero punctuation)

" They failed to find the interesting story in a game about lightning wizards from Mars, that's like failing to find the homoerotic subtext in professional wrestling." (Zero punctuation, about the Technomancer)