Just so you know, there are still people re-reading this fic in 2020. I take a lot of inspiration from it whenever I get in the mood to make a tribute. Unfortunately, I can’t force SYOT writers to not spill backstory in the first chapter, so nowadays I only ever give a lot of in-depth backstory to writers I trust to use it well throughout the story. Incidentally, the only SYOT writer who’s ever incorporated my character’s background into the story well instead of doing useless info dumping in the first chapter has also read this fic.

As for the questions at the bottom of Ch 3, I remembered that the boy Tiara killed was named Willow. But only because his name stuck out to me as “not a boy’s name,” haha.

I love this so much. Many of these mistakes are something I tend to do in my SYOT, so hopefully this'll help me.

I lost it at the depression and hemorrhaging part.

Really good advice. I can see this helping many people.

Reading this parody when it first came out back in 2014 was a huge inspiration - I think one of the best (enduring) qualities of this piece is that it stands as a challenge to pretty much any author writing an 'alternative Games' as opposed to, like, a cute fluff fic or shipping or something. It's like 'hey guys, I dare you to do better'.

That plus - it centers on perspectives that don't always get a lot of critical thought, invites insight in and conversation about 'the system', and it's sincerely very funny and, especially for what it 'is' (essentially a parody fic) it's very well-written.

Anyway, I feel like kind of a heel for not having left a review back then, because this is a work that merits a lot of appreciation - and I'm sure it's inspired a lot more authors than would be strictly willing to admit it, either to take another stab at writing an alternative Games or to improve the ones they're already working on.

Thanks!

Some of these characters sounded interesting - the assasin, the psychopath... the common issue with them seems to be the writer not thinking about consequences, or how one character trait affects another aspect of the setting or their life.
I have written a prostitute character in one of my stories, but she does it because she likes helping ohers and finds it challenging. Does that make her cliché? No clue. It was written from a place of respecting that line of work. I don't see how something like that is necessarily bad?
Overall i enjoyed reading this. It made me not want to write in this fandom though haha, so many rules.

I am interested to know how the drafts of the chapter were updated over time. Was it in response to feedback or just things you noticed on your own?
I got the impression you have read a LOT of fics in this fandom and are pretty jaded. The examples of the things that bothered you I don't think would bother me unless it made sense in the larger universe it was part of. Like what you mentioned "Why do characters have to like doing their nails?"... well that could just be their hobby. XD it would be annoying if you saw it over and over again, which I am guessing is more the problem- a case of 'same old, same old'. The overly responsible older sibling/Katniss syndrome I can understand. For example I know people who take on a parenting role when the parents are not able to (physically or emotionally ). That could make sense. But if it is TOO similar, the character might as well be called Katniss.
I liked the individual stories. It felt like a preview into a larger short story for each. The characters seemed relatable and energetic. Maybe that wasn’t how I was supposed to enjoy it, but that's what I got out of it xD. I thought the one with the girl who had a crush on a peacekeeper was adorable. I kind of want to read that story.

I personally didn't find this chapter as funny, but it could be where our senses of humour differ. It was more 'examples of what not to write', which i know is the main point of the story. Any parody elements are an added bonus.
I found your examples at the end about an "underwritten" vs "overwritten" passage interesting. Doesn't the amount of detail a writer goes into more dependant on the importance of the scene, tone, tempo/rythym? I think either one was fine depending on what role the scene plays in the larger story. I am interested to know your thoughts.

Another highly entertaining and hilarious chapter. My favourite parts included: "They're a bunch of idiots", "You're emotionally retarded", how Lucreta was wearing the sexy armour.. the thing about the guy who got sick and watched the TV for ages "You're off the hook" oh the joys.
This story could easily work as a straight up Hunger Games parody as well. :-D

I adore this. It made me laugh many times. The denial pill thing was my favorite. Is it bad that I can imagine the Capitol actually possessing such things? The notion of "a bf cheating on me is the only rational reason to be paranoid" was good too. If you don't watch CinemaSins on YouTube yet, I recommend it. I think the writers of these SYOTS stories must forget about reality by accident. I know straying plausibility was a writing issue of my own earlier on.
Your tone is sarcastic and exagerates the tropes you are parodying which is good. I wasn't offended by the story, but i think the detail which might make readers feel like you are taking a stab is the use of the word "should" a lot, which is kind of an inflexible instruction. I know you weren't intending to offend anyone, but as i was reading i was thinking about what might have inspired that reaction, and the "you should write this way " vibe was all i picked up on.
It is a misconception that depression can be treated with willpower alone. It comes into play with seeking help, probably, but not the illness itself. I don't know if you wrote that to be funny or not, so I shall let it slide.
I didn't find the last "deliberate rage writing" scene at the end annoying, funnily enough. I am not sure i understood the point you were trying to make either. Was it about unrealistic, melodramatic reactions of despair? The only way those reactions would be realistic would be in the context of a panic attack.
Anyway overall i really enjoyed the chapter. To the next one!

Aww, I wanted to see a story!

I know it's frustrating to see these cliches everywhere. You make a lot of good points, like how the younger siblings (generally around twelve and below) are innocent cute babies that have no responsibility because their helicopter older sibling decided they shouldn't do anything to help around the house or even help their parents. Or the whole star-crossed thing or how exes don't seem to exist, or casual sex that isn't demonized. I haven't seen any male prostitutes reaped - it just seems like it's almost always girls. The rebel tributes are always written poorly. Like you say, they're open about how much they hate the Capitol, have absolutely no consequences for doing so, and essentially play along to what the Capitol essentially wants.

Yet I can't seem to get to the main issue of how this is just a rant. Whatever characters and plot the story had seems to be thrown out the window here.

Wow, I really like this. Usually writing guides are useful but not that interesting, but you did a really good job!

Ugh, so many stereotypes...

HEY, STOP DISSING THE WAY WE MAKE OUR CHARACTERS! HOW ABOUT YOU MAKE A SYOY HMM?!

I kid. But still...this fandom is dead as bones. Your mags story was amazing so maybe you should think about it a tad...

Anyways, Preach. I'll give a rundown on my opinions on these tropes.

I love my militaristic Career any day. That's why the Careers are there. To serve as the opposition force and to advance subplots. The "NOT-A-CAREER" trope is one I loathe with a passion/ Regardless of how you got your training, you're still apart of the system...no matter how faux-cynical and brusque you be. Characters like these are a walking redundant imo. As long as the idea within this trope is original, and they dont harbor "anti-hero" tendancies, I'm all for it.

Hmmm...I'm not sure about this one. I've never seen it. But BUT, I do know a trope that can tie into this one.

The "Always-prepared" . . . these tributes are usually depressive and have a negative outlook on life. Mostly on the older end of the reaping pool. For some certain reason, they always hold an astute outlook. As in "This will be a walk in the park" and "I'm ready.". This is usually established at the goodbyes portion of the story. Most they are reaped. I've never seen a dueler before.

Anti-Careers also ties in with the first trope. YOU'RE JUST AS BAD AS THE OTHERS, regardless of your morals, because your morals are just a diet version if not even worse than the original careers you're opposing. And their personalities I tend to hate even more. Very cynical and standoffish. Little do they know they contribute to the system they hate either way.

Like you, I'm all for tradition. As long as they have a little personality to it. Like quirky, edgy, unhinged.

The cute evil type... I made one of these before, but Elim9 did her so much justice. She basically burnt down an orphanage and killed her headmaster and his wife because the headmaster has a secret kink for little girls. She was 13 . . ., you may eyeroll at the thought of that, but Elim does wonders. I understand exactly how this trope goes. I can even picture a couple of FC's that fit the cake. Although, I haven't encountered much of these guys.

Rebel Scum. -spits- , I dislike rebels in general. As they all fall down into the same ditch in the end.

I've never encountered this type of trope.

Francine (my tribute in the story we both submitted to) has part of this trope in her making. Although she only has mental prowess, not as manipulative and is moreso of a genius than this. So maybe Francine is 10% of this trope, lol.

I've seen the womanizer, they mostly die earlier...thats all I have to say about that.

Amen to that prostitute joke. The way Oisin wrote cecelia in his story is a prime example of how to do this trope right. I've seen equal boys and girls take this role in SYOTs.

...Please dont get me started. I've yet to see an antagonistic gay person in a SYOT. When people go all "diverse" I swear they take the stereotypes from the sexuality in general and port it into this fandom. Every gay person I've read on this site is a teddy bear with of course, family issues and what not...have I done it? No. I dont think so...

On that note though, I wonder who else other than tamal in our story, is LGB.

I've seen this trope maybe once...or many times. It depends but I have no serious hate for it.

I love making tweenagers, 12-13. Although the general population that reads SYOTs are very wishy-washy when it comes to their personalities. I make a average 12 year old, heart of gold, insolent, but very defensive over loved ones, and they are instantly trashed for being typical.

I make a sociopath that burnt down her orphanage or a tween that has alot of heart and mouth, they are trashed for being "unbelievable.", although my tweens have gotten a lto of love from the readers overall, I still make then due to them offering a nice light on the story they grace.

Hahahah red shirt. Yep, this trope will stick until the end of time. Although the pacifistic part I dont see as often. I mostly relate this trope to the "red shirt" being too bland that I forget who they are until they die. Unfortunately, the SYOT community at the time loved "normal" people over people with a little bit more flare...why? I didn't know. It is fiction afterall...

HEY! dont diss the community home kid. I've done it many times, but I don't focus too much on being an orphan...the victors relative is so 2013, but rarely you could make it work. District 12 katniss tough chick ...UGH i HATE IT.

I actually quite like quirky kids from district 3. mmmhm.

but I think you should elaborate on the "I'm Ready" trope I mentioned up above, the older tributes that seem instantly ready for what the games will throw at them, usually very angsty and have deep thoughts...?

what about the tough girl who think she runs everything? I dunno.

Nice chapter, I'd love another set of these.

A stereotype I don't like to see is "The Nobody Who Stays One/The Thoroughly Obvious Bloodbath Kill." I admit I wrote a couple in my own SYOT a long time ago, and have since learned from that mistake. Such a meatbag is never truly defined, except by one trait that doesn't really have much impact on his/her personality. If I take the time to submit a character, I don't want him/her to be a targeted duck in one of those carnival games that you shoot right off the bat to win a prize. Sure, a lot of teens get offed in the bloodbath, but it's still sad to know who they'll be before the Games even start.