Reviews for Rachel's Journey
DuplexBeGreat chapter 2 . 1/28/2014
I nearly laughed out loud when I saw you had turned the WBC into an Evil Team. Good job. I seriously can't stop giggling. On the other hand, it's "Westboro". One R.
There's no explanation of why they attacked Zero, though.
You still haven't even told us what a "Rasengan" looks like...
If it just evolved, how does Gabite already know Earthquake?
Don't capitalize pokémon species names unless they are the names of individual pokémon.
Why didn't Earthquake hit Sylveon?
That was an incredibly fast join-up of those two characters. They don't know anything about each other except names... Seriously, what the hell? "Hey, I just met you And this is crazy But we're protagonists And the author is lazy". (Pretty proud of myself for coming up with that, tbh.)
One last thing: before anyone tells you that "She can't have Darkrai because it's a legendary!", remember that ESPECIALLY in the animeverse, which you have set this in, there are multiple darkrai. So you're fine there as long as you don't make Eris too overpowered because of it.

Aside from the above notes, good solid chapter.
Scholar of Emeralds chapter 1 . 1/23/2014
Is this a troll?

Whatever the answer, dude, don't use anti-gay slurs. That shit isn't right, and it sure as hell shouldn't be used for comedy. It makes you look like an intolerant ass, troll or not.
Farla chapter 1 . 1/22/2014
You wouldn't capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn't capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you're using it as the pokemon's name, ie, Ash's pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it's a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you're thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

It's "rattata".

["Gracie, use attract!." The attack hits, but it has no affect. "Your Gabite's a flaming homo, isn't he dad!" I say accusingly. ]

Oh boy, edgy bullshit.

["Gracie, kick that faggot's retarded ass!" I command. ]

And I'm done with this.
fanficssuck chapter 1 . 1/21/2014
best troll omfg lool
rdfalcon560 chapter 1 . 1/20/2014
So many basic errors yet what an awesome story keep going with it I like it sand so will others.
DuplexBeGreat chapter 1 . 1/20/2014
Several problems jump out at me immediately:
1. Giving your character a dragon type starter overpowers them.
2. It's unrealistic for them to win against a gym leader if it's their first battle ever.
3. Evolving that quickly? Seriously? With no explanation? Explain to me how that provides anything to the story other than making your character absurdly strong early on because you just want them that way.
4. You spelled rattata incorrectly.
5. Obviously, the gabite ISN'T a "flaming homo", or the attack would have worked.
6. Pokémon species names are not capitalized unless they are the names of an individual pokémon, as in, a gabite named Gabite.
7. You haven't even given a description of what the flipping heck these made-up attack look like, let alone a reasoning of why you should be making up attack names in the first place. Is Rasengan even a word?
8. The United States don't exist in the pokémon world; they're split up into a bunch of different regions. The only region we know the name of is Unova, which represents parts of New York and New Jersey.
9. You appear to have characters who are at least midly tolerant of LGBTQ people/pokémon, so then why the hell are they (and you) using the most offensive anti-gay word in existance?

Somehow, I find that I like your story very much, despite having more basic errors than anything I've seen in a couple days. Good job, sort of.
True Guardian of Chaos chapter 1 . 1/20/2014
This is a nice beginning! Can't wait for the next chapter!