Finally, she's in her element, and it's good to see.

You're struggling to fill in the gaps between the important moments—I get that. God, it's the bane of my existence, sometimes. Just try to follow the storyline and just add the mentality—the psychology. Have Bao-Dur plant mines on the bridge. Have Atton seal that busted door. It could even be symbolic about how he breaks things and jams them further, or, if you wanted, about how he wants to fix them (which is a revaluation he really needs to have). Meetra could embrace her healing nature with those wounded militia. Have Meetra struggle with turrets, and if she doesn't have sufficient computer skill, need to ask for help. I know that it'd be amusing to watch her try to figure out how to form that sentence, like she didn't know the needed words in the English language... Or Basic... Whatever...

I'm excited for when she'll meet Master What's-His-Face on Onderon. He, out of all of them, seems to be the most understanding, the most caring. Meetra, in the state you've got her in, would be irritated at the poor man and snap. I think that either Kreia or Bao-Dur would help her realize that mistake. One playthrough, I went Dark Side on Onderon. I was trying to be a neutral Counselor. Ended up far into Light Side for my character. I got Force Enlightenment. It actually pointed out that through the good nature, my character could be redeemed, and so I had the Dark Side betrayal of the Council with the Light Side ending. I mean, it was mostly made by my dialogue choices, but still, it's part of Meetra's personality.

And I can tell you're going through some hard stuff in your life. There's a seed of it reflected in the character's turmoil. I can't tell what it is or how much it parallels, and I doubt I'll be able to in the future. I do see Atton and Meetra's relationship as symbolic of depression. They break down, and for a moment, they think it's all good, only to relapse. There's the hopelessness, the hurt, the hiding, but especially the loop of happy for a day, then sad for a longer period of time.

Also, there is the theme of prejudice towards droids in the games. Droids become sentient beings when they develop personalities. People see it as a quirk or inconvenience, and thus deny that they are killing a soul with a memory wipe. It's a whole question of whether or not droids are people. Due to you referring to T3 as an "it" and the pathetic tone that's applied to the utility droid being the best company, are you on the objective side? I'm curious.

God. So messed up. And you have them the motives to be this way. This is why we're supposed to cope.

So, what you've done here is removed the fact that Meetra forgot her past few weeks from trauma, gave her more trauma so that she'd break to schizophrenia, social anxiety, PTSD and God knows what else? Dang, that's cruel.

Well, I'm feeling a bit better. Remember the paper jam simile? I imagined sliding crumpled paper from my head—strange, I know—, and it cleared some of the fatigue.

I like the way you've portrayed Meetra. It supports that she'd thrust her lightsaber in that random sacred stone. She has an aversion to people, a fear, which I can relate to with social phobia. She reacts much differently than I do. She explodes, whereas I implode and just shut down. That's the contrast of two different personalities right there.

I always thought Meetra was just sassy, but you put anger behind it. Still though, Meetra is incredibly sassy. I like to think that all of her dialogue choices represent parts of her personality. Light side is when she conquers her demons (or is, in some cases, unrealistically naïve); dark side is when she embraces them.

I also think that Atton probably thought Meetra was crazy with some chosen dialogue. "I'm about to get violent." (Emotionally unstable.) "For a second there, I thought you were Kreia and telepathic." (Hearing voices.) The fact that she walked through plasma and fumes, or that she responded to his asking of whether she was alright with almost senile neutrality... Meetra was not same on Peragus, I think.

I like to think the light side path is where she finds healing, and that the dark side is when she loses that sanity permanently.

But at least her self-esteem isn't as low as the Handmaiden's.

God, this is hard to think through with information overload. Meetra called T3 "it". There is a significance in the pronouns she chooses. If she calls T3 "he," it implies she recognizes that he has developed sentiency or something like that.

I forget how I came to this next conclusion. I'm pretty brain-dead right now. I just remember thinking that Meetra, like most people, used the excuse of genocide as justification for the war. She used that to look at the pain and tell herself she did nothing wrong. I had more depth, but my thinking is pretty foggy right now... God I hate not thinking well.

I'd have some kudos involving grammar if I could process them, but right now it feels like my brain is caught in a paper jam.

I am think Vrook has this effect on everyone. You just can't like the guy. Do you suppose he's cultivated this personality intentionally?

It just hurts so much. Asshole better start taking better care of her.

I have stayed up way too late catching a on this. It's dark, and it hurts. But it's so good! I'm hooked.

I love this story so much! Please, please update and don't abandon this! Thought this chapter was great, I liked how it offered that outside view from Bao looking in at Neli and Atton. Can't wait for the next chapter. :D

I love this story so much! Please, please update and don't abandon this! Thought this great

Why is she not irritated that Atton is consistently saying sorry but doing the exact same thing? I was torn about her reaction to Atton's advances at the end. I can see her doing what she did as a way to retreat from them, but after her total freak-outs over smaller things, she didn't react very much to this one. Atton also seems particularly dumb here - he was really upset with himself about a thoughtless, instinctive self-defense, then goes all out here without a second thought. Why? It's fine to go that route, it just feels a little inconsistent for the characters.

This is better. I was worried when we got a second mention of times that Atton made her laugh or tried to cheer her up without actually ever seeing it, but you have a little bit in this chapter. Good. The emotional tone is starting to shift a little as well. I would still suggest shifting it a little bit earlier, possibly just through a Kreia perspective, or even a T3-M4 one. You should definitely consider shifting it earlier, however. The longer it takes you to shift, even temporarily, the more readers you're going to lose that can't hang with you that long. Something to consider for the future.

It's starting to get a bit repetitive here, not in terms of content, but in terms of tone. We've been on this same beat of self-hatred and fear for seven chapters now. Even if that's consistent for the characters, it wears on the reader after a while. This would be a great section to read from Kreia's perspective. She has a very different perspective and emotional tone, which would help introduce her character a little more, give a more detailed view of the planning situation (since she's the manipulative planner, so you could have her thoughts explain the situation a little more clearly), and give a break from the relentlessly negative tone thus far. There's no reason that the character progression Atton has here can't come a little later on. It probably needs to happen before they arrive, but doesn't have to happen immediately in the wake of a huge explosion. Stepping away from the characters a little bit will let the impact of that scene (I'm not sure why you skipped it, to be honest) to sink in a little more.

I am intrigued by your story. Your interpretation of the Exile is unusual, and the best portrayal of insanity I've seen in quite a while. That said, there were moments where it was a little too much. Not in the sense of it being too strong, but in that there were parts I couldn't follow - I couldn't tell who was speaking or if it was in her head or not. There are times when that can be effective, but once Atton was there it started to get weird. Things I thought she was saying out loud Atton wouldn't react to at all.

Even then, I think Atton should have been a little more off-put by Nune. She's pretty much nuts, screaming at voices that aren't there, changing her mind sporadically, etc. etc, and he doesn't really do or think anything about it. It starts to make more sense once you write a few chapters from his perspective, but I feel like he should still portray at least something right from the start.

A few additional thoughts. Nune sometimes thinks . . . weirdly, for lack of a better word. For example, she's terrified/upset at showing any skin, but when she thinks about her abbreviated shirt, she only thinks of it as something to cover her "breasts," instead of her whole chest or torso. That moment, as well as a couple of others like it, was a little jarring for me to read.

Atton was great. Where Nune was good with some odd moments, Atton was good with some great moments. The annoyance at himself for feeling things he didn't want to feel was really nice cognitive dissonance for him. That said, I think you could make even more use of her being a Jedi. Thus far he has had only negative thoughts on the Jedi, where considering his back story he could/should (depending on interpretation) have at least a couple of mixed feelings. He left for a reason, after all. I really really liked that moment where he reacted to her having lost the Force. It was right in character, believably missable for Nune, but very fitting for his character.

There was one more moment that threw me off. Right at the end here Nune has a weirdly positive feeling for Atton. I think it was before they get to her room. It came out of nowhere and then disappeared just as fast. And finally, the description of Nune's body from Atton's perspective was good but too long, for both the reader and Atton. Atton's thing is that he hates being pinned down. He won't look at the eyes, only the body, but he's restless, afraid of his ghosts in his way almost as much as Nune. He shouldn't be very slowly, methodically, examining her body. It should (my opinion) be quicker, jerkier, flitting from part to part like he does from topic to topic. You portray it well with him constantly changing his mind about Nune, but that one section stuck out as inconsistent.
Overall, this is a good story with some very interesting themes you're working on. I'd like to see everyone react a little more to Kreia, and see how you interpret her. I can get Atton just going along with it because he doesn't know where either of them came from, but Nune at least should react a little more. It feels a little off for her to get in Atton's face a little bit when they first meet, but just be so scared of Kreia that she basically just runs away from any kind of confrontation in person (while screaming at her in her head).
I'm looking forward to more. Best of luck!