"That's not how it works, Dina"
Wow! What a line!

I mean, this chapter as a whole, fantastic. Good job managing the "stutter" at the beginning as Alessia and Dina slowly merge (I caught on to what was happening in the third iteration, i think, right before you spell it out), before bringing us into the odd reality of Dina DiTomaso: the child whose play is in saving her guardian's life! It's absurd an artful and perfectly dream like.

I do wonder what she'll take away from the Jean sequence. A VP70 as part of the action? Goodness, was Claes involved in that operation? I'm legitimately second guessing myself here. Even with their rather tenuous connection, that would be one more piece for the tragedy stockpile.

Finally, I like Dina's response to Arturo. Futile as it is, I like that she fights it and refuses to play the game. She's got the spirit to buck the conditioning, given the right opportunity. Not throw it off completely, of course, but one little slip during a crucial moment is all we're hoping for. I trust you'll play that card accordingly, probably after setting an extreme precedent of what happens if she won't.

Thanks for the story so far, taer! You never disappoint.
A merry Christmas, and all that jazz,
-CG

Hmmm... a hint of decay in this one. Slips in habit that leave those stains when you're not careful. Lose sight of one pillar and there's no telling where you'll find yourself.
Of course, it's not like it's a huge leap. That's the artistry of it: you already set out the religious aspect of Favianne's life as semi-disposable in the last chapter so it's a logical discard in this one. And I like that. Because it's not always breaking when people give up what they used to consider a proper upbringing. Sometimes it's more just being worn down.

Also, will note: I love how you consistently use waking adjectives when flashing back to the theater. Framing her previous life as dream not only fits in with GSG but also gives this layered feeling to the reframing of her character as she struggles to make sense of what she really is. And while we know where this goes, I can't help but hope for that last little something at the bottom of this pandora's box. You know me: ever the optimist.

Hoping for good while expecting the worst,
-CG

Ah, further and further down the rabbit hole. The lights dim and awareness fades. I like how matter of fact Arturo is without ever being too transparent about what's going on.

More than that, though, I like the insinuation behind "everyone leaves". I mean, yes, we know the people in her past life are gone, but it also brings to mind the eventualities hanging over those in her current one. Who will leave first, her or Paolo? Which one would she choose, given the choice? Framing the whole thing as her having some sort of agency, even if that's only whether or not she takes it with her eyes open, gives an excellent weight. Limited as the choice is, it's still a choice.

Mmm... "Fever Dreams", eh? Aptly named. Not sure what to make of it yet for how it fits in overall, but it's still well drawn enough that it holds the attention and urges me onward. As long as the bear doesn't ask her to form a contract, I suppose it's alright, eh?

Trying not to rush it,
-CG

Mmm... this epilogue gives me that strong Quixotic vibe of "Who is really the madman?" as Paolo and Priss hash out the reality of the situation while Dina's past memories pave a redeeming future framework between them. An encouraging spark of warmth that keeps the readers wondering which way this story might end, yeah? It plays in that funny gray area that can very easily fall to ham-handed cheese but comes off as genuine miracle when done right. Good job playing those lines without falling for the trap! Your restraint serves you well.

I do like this dynamic between Paolo and Priss. She asks of him what she can't give herself. Yes, it comes off as being the realist. She's had the experience, she's seen this done before, BUT she also has a personal stake in how this all goes down. And while right now she seems reasonable, little things like the evidence smuggling show her professional boundaries are slipping down possibly hazardous slopes.

I mean, obviously she makes it to canon, but this vulnerable part of her might not.

Finally, Paolo... Paolo comes across as a stoic. Usually he's trying to offer a positive alternative to the negative situation, but that's for others. For himself, he just kind of absorbs it. I think, on some level, he thinks he deserves it. And I don't mean just this specific instance, I mean I don't think Paolo thinks of himself as a good person. As with most Handler-Cyborg relationships, how he treats Dina might be touching on pieces of self-declaration he doesn't even realize he's making. Sure, it's not the whole thing, but what seems as simple human compassion on the outside might actually be a piece of his coping. Let us not forget Dina is named for the brother he killed, eh?

But that's all for me now. Wherever this heads next, I remain your loyal reader.
Best Regards,
-CG

Oh, the irony of calling this chapter of murder "Eirenism"...

I like how you really toe the line of incompetence/clumsiness with Dina. Like, it's nothing unbelievably bad, but it's the little things like dropping the bag that show she isn't quite as disciplined. She's got a human vulnerability on top of her killing machine complex. Enough problems to attract sympathy without making it seem contrived. Devil's in the details after all, eh?

Ah... Gunslinger Girl. Where the "normal" line is so far crossed that we end up affirming little girls for shrugging off murder. I love the juxtaposition you manage here as well as Paolo's reaction to it. Maybe it's a little bit of him meeting her where she's at, or maybe it's him just playing it by instinct without thinking too hard about what insanity he's abetting. Either way, it feels natural and just works. Wonderfully composed sequence!

Finally, Paolo's interpersonal agenda directly screws up his professionalism as he rushes to the scene without properly casing the joint. His head's more on Dina than the scenario and it winds up costing them, costing *her*. Well, this is gonna be some some interesting fallout once Priss finds out...

Looking forward to more,
-CG

*Returning after way too long to properly review my favorite series? Better late than never!*

Okay, so, thoughts...

First off, way to go tackling Lauro! It's easy to write him off as a jerk, but there's enough depth in your portrayal to show the neatly compartmentalized man who cuts loose when he's off and goes to town when he's on. His philosophy is clear without feeling hammed up or overstated, so good job not stomping over that line. Bonus points for the nonverbal elements of this conversation. I always have trouble juggling those things in...

Next: good work with Paolo's circumspect conversations and filling in the little bits with what Priss calls him out on. He's obviously fishing for cards to add to his hand before he makes a reveal, but it's also not quite the reveal anyone else is suspecting. I'm getting the increasing sense that Paolo is a man of dominoes: he likes to get everything set up nice and stable before inciting that perfect chain reaction. Not quite as direct as some of the ex-Carabinieri handlers, but not as abstractly creative as 'Sandro.
Also, his focus is off the field so it makes sense that major moments of conflict happen there too. Nice job promising an action story and roping us in with the drama! Just like the original...

Finally, in those nitpicky notes, I got two for ya.
First: Paragraph 2. Could probably trim the fat a little and just say "labelled with red" or even "marked with a red label" if you're particularly concerned. Your prose is generally trim and polished, so it's a bit of a stumble coming across parts like this.
Second: In section 2, "...when you said, 'Good as new,' did [she] seem..."

Oh, but the dialogue carrying the action in that Lauro scene... just going back to re-find the nitpick, I got sucked in. Seriously, good stuff!

Anyway, yes, that's what I've got for you for now. Hopefully I'll be back again soon.

Thanks for everything,
-CG

Nice conclusion to the chapter, but the 'dresser exercise' frankly confused me. Where did the bottle of alcohol come from, and what was Priss trying to prove? It almost seems that the document editor left part of the text out.

Priscilla's rationalization for continuing to work for the Agency is pretty compartmentalized. Guess she just doesn't like to admit she can't leave.

Wow. At first I thought her pre-conversion and post-conversions were going to integrate - classic Taerkitty misdirection. Then she's forced to choose which half of her existence has to disappear forever. Give em a little hope, snatch it away. By the time this story ends, presumably with Dina's death, the readers' principal reaction will be the sort of shocky relief of someone whos cut off a hand to escape a trap.

Riveting, as always, Taer.

It's good to see something added to this story, even if it's just a shortie ending in a cliffhanger. You've been too long away.

It looks like the conditioning meds are breaking down, and Dina's future is in doubt. At this point, it could really go either way; even if she regains consciousness and her physical functionality is restored, she may still be unable to function because of the trauma visited on her by the revelations she experiences in her dreams. I feel so sorry for her. You have a great deal of experience with tragedy and loss, Taerkitty.

I'm liking this. I've wanted you to revisit Dina's pre-cyborg past for some time; I only hope we'll continue to see it till the end, and see where this train arrives... And who the girl in the seat is when it arrives.

I had pretty much given up on seeing any updates to this story. The telling of Dina's backstory through dreams is apt, since sleep - either natural or anesthetically-induced - is when the conditioning channeling the girls' thoughts, memories and emotions is at its weakest. Your absence from writing hasn't atrophied your descriptive skills - the train and theater are very well-drawn with a minimum of words. The chapter is short and plotless, but I sense that it's intended as the introduction of a more involved story. May the Muse keep your fingers busy on the keyboard until this story is complete.

well, it got tears out of me, admittedly, but not exactly for the sadness ( I was literally sneezing the heck out of myself for five minutes. If that doesn't get tears out of you, nothing will), but I loved the intricate words you used to display the skill and dexterity of the two cyborgs. You have a real gift. Me. I'm not so talented. I've got an account, (Dark Elixar Wizard) so I'll comment again! Please write more fantastic stories. I'm droolin' here!

Absolutely loved the final three chapters and the story so far as a whole. A few quick thoughts:

1) I guess we can see where Elsa got her mindset to be so dangerously in love with Lauro, above and beyond what the conditioning provides. "She can't even commit suicide right." - a haunting premonition of things to come. Very well done!

2) Also I like the interior premonition that you set up here, the one that follows from Paolo wanting to meet with Lauro in the first place and to ask about what happens when a cyborg is injured. You do an excellent job in showing just how much he's struggling with his humanity and Dina's - the idea of using child-based cyborgs for assassinations and, more importantly, just how human is Dina despite being a cyborg.

3) Actual action. Claes is a pro compared to Dina (which makes what Claes turns into after Raballo's death all the more striking). Also, the inevitable happens, but it's more the fault of Paolo and the fact he still does not quite know about the psychology of the cyborgs. Dina's question of if she's defective, a result of her own interpretation of Paolo's answer on the 'change' after killing someone ... it brings chills.

4) Speaking of chills, Dina calling Priscilla 'momma' and Paolo 'pappy' and begging them not to fight when the former's castigating the latter (and for good reason). What can I say? You're a master of writing emotion.

Short and to the point. Priss and Paolo are the child's surrogate parents. Surprising that she remembers her pre-conversion name, even in dreams; none of the other girls ever seemed to.