You're explaining Haki wrong. Amarment Haki is not willpower alone, nor is Observation. Why do you think rayleigh did physical training? A big reason was for Amarment Haki. Why did Rayleigh have Luffy try to dodge his stick? To improve his Observation Haki. If it was the way you explained it. Rayleigh would have trained his willpower exclusively. At least you got conquerors Haki right.

This is what people call a filler. Expected more. You win some, you lose some. This is what I get for reading a trash fanfic.

Stop. Just stop. What the actual fuck. Even the fight scene is the same. You might have lost a lot of potential readers, given that your story is not exactly eye catching.

You know what I mean when I say polish. You seriously cannot expect somebody to say "Hey, you say that pirates are heartless, I'm going to tell you that a pirate saved me when I have no evidence to back it up." Luffy is smarter this time around. One more problem. "Your hair turned the same color." Seriously? Unless you're color blind, Luffy's hair is black. And don't tell me that it's different and metallic looking and shit, cuz that could easily mistaken as trick of light. You are sticking close to canon, still, would hopes to change. Thanks, though, for something to keep me distracted.

That...was a nice bonding moment with Coby. But, now you're basically repeating everything, word to word, from canon. The point of fan fiction is to change, and while the nut shot was totally humorous, that's not change that will effectively effect the plot, at least, not in short intervals.

So, you know what, not bad, not bad. Kinda sticking close to canon, but I'm expecting change, the butterfly of doom will have to rear it's head eventually. But it needs polish. I can't really enjoy this story when it's written in a crude way. Probably good for a first draft. But enough of me bitching and criticizing, I'm going to continue the story.

I was just curious, so I decided to look at the most Popular One Piece Fanfiction that was rated M. And this came up. I'm only on Episode 6 with that goofy Ass Clown as I write this. But I'm just impressed about how you want to rewrite this. I have no Idea about this Anime. One Again I'm only on Episode 6, but I want to get invested.

Congrats on having the most popular fanfic on this Anime. Good luck on the rewrite. Take the Constructive Criticism with a Grain of Salt. We all love and Support you. Hope you're doing fine, and always check up on your Mental Health

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no offence but This is nt a very good one peice sotry. Look up "the second coming of black beard" by "mr grimjaw" for some good one on piece story telling!

At least u tried..

Just finished reading through it, good luck with the re-write

Well I normally give constructive reviews to everyone but I couldnt help it with this one. This story had SOOO much potential but you wasted it all. It truly is one of the most wasted potential story I've ever read and I've read a lot. Sorry to say this but if you ever plan on continuing you should rewrite it totally.

I’m pretty sure you made his bounty what? 150m?

love this story

Как называется эта история в новой верссис?

don't forget crocodile was actually an allied and luffy owed him allot like seriously