dont listen to the haters your story has really good bones and you can build a really great fanfiction in your rewrite

Man I read the whole fanfic and I have some things to comment, more to remember are not critical, more holes in the story.
1- The way Luffy acted is impossible, Luffy lost everyone he loved, but even so he acted like a child, which honestly is impossible, after going through all this he at least should have matured mentally and started to act more seriously .
2-The way the new members were used is quite reasonable, Alvida for example, note that she was only put in the story for Luffy to have sex, as she has an akuma no mi op, which makes her immune to any type of attack other than kairoseki or haki. understand, even in the big haki line it is rare, which in itself shows how strong it can be.
3-One of Luffy's goals when going back in time is to make everyone stronger, so much so that he asks his grandfather to teach him the six navy attacks, only he doesn't teach them to his nakamas only later in history he starts teaching, he must start teaching the moment each joins the team.
Well, there are a few more things that you understand, you should pay attention to those little details.
In general it is a great story with good development, good fights, etc ...
(One thing that bothered me a lot was the fact that Luffy didn’t care if his girls were seen by other men, so change that in the rewrite, it’s very disconcerting to read about it, I mean, if it was a fic without romance it would even be good , but there is romance in this fic and we know that they are luffy women so seila is a little strange to read).

this story really does need a rewrite but not so much of one. the biggest issue is that you sent Luffy back in time to make his crew stronger and he hasn't really been doing that there were like three mentions of him kinda training them, I mean you can fit haki training in during the regular story or the time traveling between islands. like when they were practice shooting the cannon could of blindfolded usopp and train that way or when they went down the dark mine tunnel to the race another great chance for training observation haki. and I keep Luffy so silent and I understand it does take some of the fun out to spoil stuff but knowledge is power and he shouldn't always be so quiet he could at least ready his crew that are gonna have battles for the island they are about to land on like in the drumm island chapters when Luffy told chopper to handle the one guy because he knew he could and that it would also help kinda push him. keeping it so close to the cannon is helpful for like storyboarding but if you stay to close it loses some creativity. I can't wait for the rewrite to come because I already love this one but do see where it could be improved, if you need a beta reader or just some help PM me I've helped a few authors with their stories when they were starting to get stuck or whatnot. anyways keep up the great work and update soon.

The only thing that turned me off is that luffy lose to freaki'n crocodile the first time they fought even though his strength should be stronger than that because you freaki'n said that his strength is still the same as his strength before he travelled to the past so that is skeptical and those times that he fought other pirates too like arlong buggy and don krieg it seems like you only boosted his strength a little from his canon version from those arcs.

I LOVED this story and I await eagerly for the rewrite!

The fic is great really looking forward to the rewrite. The only problem I had was Sanji constantly attacking Luffy

One of the best fic I've read in a while !

honestly I enjoyed this story and yeah I know it's not easy to write trust me some mistakes get through sometimes you mess up a little bit but all in all I'm really enjoyed this story and I really do hope you keep a good chunk of what was their in the rewrite a good luck my friend

Hey I am really sorry for all the backlash you have got because for all it’s faults your fanfiction has got the characterisation for the main straw hats dead right.

Because while fanfiction like second wind(A great one piece time travel fanfic that you should totally read by the way) handle the time travel aspect better the characters come off as diled down versions of the original.

I also really like how you wrote nojiko,

Mostly because you gave her own defined personality where there was little to nothing to go on

The Nojiko in one piece most defining trait was that she can be kind of cold sometimes, while the nojiko in your fanfic is Cheeky confident a lot braver than nami, she has a great dynamic with the other female members as she enjoys teasing them. And she is not the least bit shy not embarrassed at all when nami found out she slept with luffy

The reason I like your interpretation of nojiko is because she has traits that make her unique from the rest of the cast

As for the other auditions I’m sorry but
this where I need to get critical
the problem is that While I like some other auditions to added cast like gin,valarie and grace They don’t really have traits that make them stand out .

They don’t get the focus they need to really shine and often blend in because the spotlight always has to go back to the original cast with a few exceptions Like Johnny and yosaku in lounge town but those moments are few and far between.

Though To be fare I admit alvida is unique in the way of how narsististic she is but I really don’t like her and I she really came off as just another girl for luffy to sleep with.

if I wanted to see the original straw hats development well I would watch and read the original.

So for the rewrite please expand more on the new members

I know you can do it I believe in you

Don’t worry about it sure it may not be perfect but it was an ok first attempt no one gets it perfect the first time I personally would be happy to see the rewrite.

I will name a lot of the fun stuff that I liked

1: luffs having six powers and training them more of that in the rewrite please. (I am kind pissed off at sanji for interfering with Luffy training the woman)

2: The running gag of sanji going to kill luffy every time he slept with woman still wish he would find out because his actions from then on will be even funnier.

3: The audition of more members to the crew
,I like the personality you gave nojiko being a lot braver than Nami and actually enjoying the danger as well as her teasing of nami and the others.
I like auditions like vlari and grace and seem like natural auditions to the crew. But most of all I like gin because he just feels like he should have been a part of the crew in canon another logical straight man like nami.

4: I liked the moment where nami cried because she had genuine feelings for luffy It was really good moment

5:But my favorite aspect of all is when ever luffy got agansty from the trauma of losing all his friends.

I definitely like the story man and I'm looking forward to the rewrite which I'm sure will be even better. Just take your time and do your thing man.

I loved your story and can't wait for the reboot great job

Just wanted to say I enjoyed your story. Wish you the best in your rewrite.

brother, you and me have the same problem. Flamers have been taking the piss on me also for some stories.

Personally I was fine with the first one and I am excited to see the rewrite