A good story showing the caring nature of the explorers as they help one of their own. You captured Ned's struggle through his depression very well and realistically. As a fan of the series I am glad to see a new story as there are so few writing anymore. With more practice and faith in yourself you have the makings of a fair writer.

A good story, if a little gritty. One can feel Ned's pain and his realistic struggle to rebuild his life and in the end one can see him on the road to truly recovering. I enjoyed how the caring nature of all his friends came through to help him. Veronica would truly be there every step and I like Marguerite's tender side coming through. This was a much better written story than many on here and very enjoyable. Nicely written tale.

Excellent story. It was nice to see the explorers help Malone through such a rough time. The bit with Jaddax was sweet.

This is a powerful story, well and vividly told. I liked the mention of certain brands. The Elgin watch; the Colt pistol. If one knows what they look like, he can visualize Ned with them. And it shows that you did a little research, too.

You effectively captured the horror that Ned must have endured. Being violated, even with a metal rod, is especially destroying to the male ego. I'm not surprised that he was depressed as well as physically injured. That his friends were so patient was very uplifting and telling of their natures. It was especially nice to see Marguerite treat him well.

You handled the dialogue nicely, too, including the banter between M&R. I think Veronica was also much as she'd be.

I read the first version of this story and think it is now more refined and polished. You definitely have basic talent as a writer. I'm sure that you'll improve as you continue to write, but this was really pretty good, with more insight into the matter than most fic authors achieve. The same can be said of TV writers, who usually gloss over such trauma in an episode.

Overall, well done!

Not a bad story. Better than before. I do like how the explorers helped Malone through everything. It is the support of friends that often makes the difference during a difficult time. It's also nice to see writing outside of the usual circle of Marguerite and Roxton fans. Malone is a character that has often been overlooked and underused. Nice try. The fact that you are at least attempting to improve shows a true interest in writing. Keep writing and keep trying.