Please continue... Its so good story, and were still waiting for next chapter...

This would be slightly better if you could explain how or why Elizabeth Báthory's spirit manage to disentangle itself from Čachtice Castle in Slovak. She have several children. One of her modern ancestors conjured her? Plus she was busy defending her country from the Ottomans - she rarely, if ever, left her home. Why would the Bathory build a home in an untamed wilderness controlled by the Spanish, who at the time around 1590, may have been still part of the Ottoman Empire. It would make a sort of sense if one of the ancestors conjured her because of Miami's obsession with youth and beauty. Could you imagine if Elizabeth Bathory was running around modern day Miami? You could have a lot of fun with this.

Oh SNAP! Can't wait to see where this story goes from here! Rock on!

I like the idea of this story, but to be honest I don't feel that magical pull that makes me want to stay and read it. That's not to say that your story isn't wonderful, it's just the way it is written out in this first chapter that makes me a little wary of continuing on that's all.

For one, the characters don't really seem to be in their character form. Haunted house or not, they wouldn't act this way. They wouldn't be terrified to continue on with their investigation. Sure if strange things were to happen in this chapter, they would be a little queasy about it... but not too terrified to enter a house of ill repute.

I find myself a little confused, and don't know if you are going to explain this to me before I decide to continue on. How is it that the victims of the Countess of Blood are in Miami? How is it that she herself is there? Élisabeth Báthory lived in Hungary in the mid 16th to early 17th centuries. I highly doubt that Miami had even been settled by that time- unless you count the Spanish, and I don't even think that these explorers would have even known about Bathory. Yet, why is it that she has anything to do with this particular house?

The idea is a good one, don't get me wrong. I love stories that have supernatural elements to them, but I don't think that it is realistic? Especially with the whole Countess of Blood thing going on. Wouldn't Bathory choose to haunt an area close to the castle that she died in, and not a house that is across the ocean and doesn't have anything to do with her?

I don't want to dissuade you from writing, but in order to have Bathory in this story... you should have her in an area that she belongs in. Haunting a house in Miami doesn't sound right. Especially since she never lived there to begin with.

great chapter , look forward to more xx

Wooooo! LOVE IT! Can't wait to see what happens next! :)

awesome, awesome, awesome chapter! :)
Can't wait for more!

What can I say ? Amazing chapter, amazing story. Just write more I love it. Want know what happend then. Can you get Horatio and Natalia together ? It would be amazing :) :D

OMG! I completely forgot to review, so sorry, I thought I had done it :)
Awesome chapter, will be interesting to see how things proceed!

OH MY GOSH! WOW! Poor Horatio. I'm really glad Rain is there! Bless her heart, to be young, girl knows her stuff! Great story so far!

OH WOW! I so love this story thus far! Oh my gosh! I'm so glad Natalia adopted her! And tre awesome she's letting her keep the wolf! I LOVE this little girl already! Can't wait to see what happens next!

awesome, awesome, awesome chapter! :)

OH MY GOSH! So good! Did NOT see that coming! Great chapter! I hope Rain can help him! And by the sounds of it, I hope Natalia gets to adopt her. Can't wait to see what's next!

I really like this story with horatio , look forward to more xx

very cool! Will be interesting to see where it all leads.
Awesome chapter! :)