Reviews for The Seven-Colored Puppeteer in the Land of Fire
Warthogs309 chapter 6 . 7/14
No no, this was great! I couldn't imagine something better, let alone write it. I do think it would be cool to see naruto interact with the touhou girls while in gensokyo (ran vs kyubi would be fucking awesome) but this was a very interesting read. I don't speak for others but the ending was very satisfying. All I can really say is "please write more!"
Nothing is Perfect chapter 1 . 3/29
This Janitor dude honestly is way too much of a martinet, and complains about all the wrong things. You wrapped up the story concisely and succinctly. No long-winded dragging ons where you make Alice ooc in order to drag her into random conflicts someone of her character would want to do with. It's perfect. As for the possibility of anyone coming after them...they're touhou characters. Touhou characters. Anyone who knows even knows a little about touhou can tell you it aint an issue.
Janitor chapter 6 . 12/27/2019
I'll come out and say that this seems an incomplete story. I came to such a thought after realizing that this story is missing several important beats that would establish what is a basic story. Specifically, the setting is weak, the primary protagonist is doggedly static, and there actually is no pressing or serious conflict for the protagonist to overcome. I'll do my best to convey these points.

The setting is the first serious issue. I want it to be clear it's quite-obvious that you put serious care and consideration into the beats you used to write this work, and actually conveyed the established world for what it was supposed to be in places. The stumbling here was two-fold, however: timing and detail conveyance. With the former, it was midway in the story (and several weeks according to story timing) before Alice was acted upon in any serious manner. Keeping the premise of Naruto in mind and the behavior of the hidden villages in particular, that's absolutely unbelievable that the Hokage or any of the authorities would be so slow to react on her rather loud and obtrusive presence in the village. Yet according to your narration, neither civilian nor shinobi bat an eye at her being there, setting up a merchant shop, or selling dolls until some weeks after Naruto encounters Alice. That comes off as a severely-lax security flaw on their part, and the Hokage encounter unfortunately enforces that it's a lackadaisical oversight. Where earlier in the first chapters the reader can just assume Alice was being watched, the encounter with Sarutobi cements that were she even being watched, Konoha on a whole chose not to do anything about her presence or her wares. For the life of me, I couldn't think of a single good reason for why that would be. The setting becomes broken as a result, basically acting on Alice's convenience more than presenting her with any real problems. That detail conveyance lends to this, as well. While Gensokyo itself is host to articles & artifacts from various points in history, thus giving Alice some exposure to modern or even steampunk artifacts, you opted not to convey any surprise or difficulty adapting to the village, or the surrounding and pointedly dangerous forests of Konoha. Said forests are home to actually dangerous walks of wildlife, and the village and its citizens dress, act, and go about their lives in a manner that should at least quirk a reaction from Alice. But they did not, so she did not. That actually segues into the second & third big points.

Alice doesn't react to anything at all. Granted and allowed, the very dogma of Project Tohou is a "live and let live" vibe where nothing is earth-shattering, nothing is really a heavy concern, and even bouts between powerhouses who can shape reality or wipe the map clean of life end with a hearty round of cakes, dumplings, and tea. Alice is long-lived and noted as a emotional rock difficult to move (but not to annoy, though that's a thought for another day). Simply put, Alice doesn't react to anything in this world that is obviously not her own, nor does the world challenge her in any way. The problem is, in a note of irony, your insistence on writing the story expressly from her point of view harms any chance at any dynamic change whatsoever. I don't mean merely physical conflict, although that should honestly be a given when your setting is a bloodthirsty world like Naruto. I mean more subtle things: ideals or dogma challenging her own, actions or events that would present her with some kind of dilemma. She's never given one. Even Naruto's own appearance is treated this way. In this story, Naruto himself isn't a fully-realized character. There are no moments of introspection or even action that convey the changes that mark Alice's influence on him. Instead, he's the only reliable clock the reader has to note that time's actually passed in any meaningful way. There is the beginnings of a relationship to Naruto & Alice, but that really is all there is. A lot of space is spent firmly in the cardinal writing sin of Telling Instead of Showing, and you make repeated instances of nailing home that nothing critical or minor ever affects Alice's line of thinking, her emotional wellbeing, or her mundane goal of getting home. Even if she's not in a hurry, her setting isn't the laid back lands of Gensokyo. There's a hustle and bustle about Konoha and the land of Fire on a whole, but she never reacts to it. It never inconveniences her. She is static—the very same person she was at the end of the tale as she was in the beginning, the only difference being she took the story timestamp with her when she returned to her home.

Thus at this ending, it actually took a moment to sink in that it WAS an ending. Without any rising or falling moment, or rather any conflict at all, the story just abruptly stops. The reader's given no indication that heading home is ever a paramount goal or a pressing issue, so it stands to reason that her achieving that goal doesn't stir any deep feeling or introspection. It just kinda happens.

I'd think, in the future, you may want to work on issues of establishing a conflict with your characters and honing a rising and falling moment for them, as well as any change that may occur. This doesn't need to be a call for action in the sense of "Alice fights Konoha"—something that conflicts morals or even moment of opportunity is fine ("I want to go home but these paranoid fools are interfering in my plans"). I think this story of yours had a lot of potential, and that you show quite a bit of potential as a writer. Keep at it and I'd think some excellent results will befall you before long. Good Luck.
The Rupture chapter 6 . 10/28/2019
It was really interesting..
A Shame it has to end.
killerteddy3218 chapter 1 . 2/24/2019
Re: Nah、my vague writing might've caused some misunderstandings. 'The majority' I was implying was、'fanfictionS other than your story'. The Alice in your story does not follow the bad examples of mary sue such as; go intervening every major character、born very beautiful and handsome、 defeating badasses out of every corner in the street and doing anything but necessary as if the author copy pasted it out of the original story.
And about the NarutoxTouhou becoming a 'disaster plot'、is what would likely happen if anyone goes on 'writing the twists without speculous planning'. Like any other naruto ficsI mean、think about it. I once read a Naruto x HakureiReimu fic which was quite popular for a touhou fic in japan、and Reimu bested Zabuza single handed、 ㅇㅅㅇ. Also、Touhou characters tend to be quite selfish、so it might be hard to make them go along with the major storyline(unless it was Marisa
). So if one of the touhou characters go berserk in Naruto world、 that's when everything goes crazy. Most writers just abandon the story having no grasp of how to go on with this overpowered character. In the first place、why would they want to help the major characters? And if they do without a specific reason、the story turns marysueish. That's when we should draw the line、and is one of the reason why I think your story was great. (you've managed an ending、 different from the other touhou fics writers who just leave it incomplete.)
Well、I don't think this review would be much of a help、but here it is.
killerteddy3218 chapter 1 . 2/24/2019
Splendid.
I'm impressed by how well you can maneaver the plot of Touhou and Naruto. The story was great though there were no major twists、interesting enough for fans like me and was well written、 given that majority of has a teenagerish marysue kind of feeling.
The ending was too early I guess、but nevertheless a good choice. We could guess the outcomes if Alice stayed in that world、doing marysueish things related to Naruto and his joyish friends and doing nothing but follow the original storyline like a robot. Actually、 I have read dozens of famous naruto x touhou fanfics in Japan and Korea、 incomplete due to the meaningless ongoing story.
Thanks for the great story. I could see that you are really a fan of Touhou.
xThomas2 chapter 6 . 2/3/2019
It was a nice little story. I won’t claim it’s great, honestly I found it a little boring (or maybe I just am having a headache) but it was a decent read. I feel that it’s imcomplete, maybe you can get one or two more chapters: one that ties up loose ends on Konoha’s side, and one that covers Naruto and Kyuubi a year or two in the future inside Gensokyo. That would be fun

Thanks for writing the story.
hchan1 chapter 6 . 4/1/2018
So, so happy I stumbled upon this fic. Characterization is great; Alice, in particular, strikes the bewildered "stranger in a distant land" tone perfectly. I think it'd be hilarious to see a Naruto-raised-in-Gensokyo try to bring peace to the ninja world through danmaku and tea, but the story ends at a perfect place for what it is. Thanks for writing.
xyzdreadnought chapter 6 . 1/17/2018
This is pretty cool, I kinda wish there was more, like maybe some Yukari machinations, or why Alice ended up there in the first place, or how much panic there is about the disappearance of Naruto, or his life in Gensokyo. You know, just more.
Anon chapter 6 . 4/25/2017
"However the ones littering the tables and floors were a mishmash as if they had been thrown around at random, suggesting she could scarcely care less."

Only uneducated people that have no grasp on logic use "could care less" (that means you DO care) when they want to say they do not care at all (could NOT care less 0).

"Could care less" makes as much sense as saying "He nodded in complete, 100% agreement. He could agree more."
Guest chapter 6 . 1/3/2017
"It was why Remilia had only forbidden youkai from eating the humans in the Human Village but had said nothing about annoying, terrifying, and attacking them."

Pretty sure you mean Rumia here, not Remilia. Err, Reisen, I mean. Well, one of those names starting with R anyways.
KeyofSolomon.M.E chapter 6 . 5/11/2016
I like this story it's really good wished there was more of it
PredatorHun chapter 6 . 4/5/2016
This was an awesome tale and you ended it at the right moment. I greatly enjoyed it. Thanks!
vince37678 chapter 6 . 9/19/2015
SEQUEL?
Derox-1223 chapter 1 . 5/3/2015
How interesting that I found this fic exactly one year after it was posted. A happy coincidence. I like the story. A veritable gem among literally tons of half-baked ideas.
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