Gives me chills well, anyway... loved the characters and stuff. I wish this would have continued!

Amazing!

How did I miss this? Excellent.

Hey man. Good stuff— better stuff. The imagery here was fantastic, and the characterization prime as well. Poor Wrath...abused as a child. I wouldn't be surprised if she became "Wrath" when she freaked out and killed her awful mom.

In other news, we finally see one of the targets, huh? I wonder if his actions will stop Wrath from trying to kill him later...or even to try to stop the others.

I want to start trying to give constructive criticism in all of my reviews, so I'd like to point out two small negatives: characterization for Lust and Zip T (I'll just call him this for review purposes, I don't know if it is him or not...). Wrath, as the POV character, was rounded out fantastically: a bit of backstory, a summary of her constant mental state, and a little something for readers to possibly relate to (her difficulty with speaking to others).

Regarding Lust, however, we don't learn much new about her, instead her previously established traits were demonstrated further: she's private, withholding, and mean. Perhaps putting in a scene with Wrath and Lust stopping to eat or to look at a shop could expand her character a bit. As for Zip, this is his first appearance in the story, and he could stand to get some more "first impression" character traits, just little things that could make a deeper impression on a reader.

Sorry the criticism is a little longer than the positives...please don't misunderstand, this chapter was amazing, I just wanted to point out two small things that could be improved and offer suggestions for them. And trust me, I know I have weaknesses with the very things I recommended— I've been taking my break from writing to try to learn new techniques.

Don't lose heart, even if no one's reviewing. _ Keep practicing and keep getting better.

See ya around.

Hell Holes... Well, Sloth should already know how to make them ! Hohoho, I'm so witty ! *shot*

At first, I thought Sloth would be my least-liked character, but he's growing up on me. There's something about that demented Shuy Guy that makes me want to know more about him. What's his name ? Wht did the raven interrogate him ? What's up with the mask, the drugs ?

Who's Anger, his alter ego ? He's probably one of the more mysterious characters of this entire story, and they all are in their own ways. I also think that Wrath is not as innocent as she may seem and that Lust may have read her incorrectly.

So Dimentio FINALLY decided to move his prominent bottom to help our future killers in their quest. Needless to say, I'm quite interested about what's going to happen next. I guess Hell Holes are some sort of teleportation pads, or maybe gates to return to hell and interrogate people... I don't know.

The interactions between the characters are exquisite, and the conversation flows naturally, which proves that even the dialogue is well-written here. However, I feel likemaybe the action is going a little too fast. Okay, newspapers often display big and important headlines, however they've just decided on something to do and bam, they find someone who supposedly fits the description of one of Dimentio's victims.

But I just learned something today. I knew about the sins, but not about the virtue... That's really strange, but it's true ! I like this opposition between black and white, good and evil, sin and virtue... It feels as though I'm reading a story about the yin and the yang, haha !

Funny how greed is...well, greedy. Lol

Cool how you changed perspective ! First we saw everything with Pride, the Bandit's eyes, and now it's Lust's time to show us what she's feeling. Interesting technique.

I must tell you, what I like are character-driven stories. Stories don't need to have a good plot to be good, however stories with poorly-written actors are always bad. Since you focus on the character development, and since I've already read some of your stories, I know that this one will be good, but I just felt like giving my PoV.

Lust is so cool. I mean, she's a biatch, but she's still awesome. Definitely my favorite character.

Oh god. Turns out the Shy Guy is PSYCHOTIC. He must use different masks to convey different feelings.

Oh wow, I didn't know youi had such a story ! It seems reallycool. i'm already surprised, in a good way, by the beginning. The characters have spoken only one line, yet I can already discern a certain amount of personality for them all. Their speech alone seems to indicate that they are very different.

The jester, could it be Dimentio ?

The Seven Deadly Sins, used as names for the Seven Deadly soon to be reformed... How fitting. I can already tell you that I really like the human. There is something about beautiful yet cold people, that don't act as assholes, that really makes me like them, especially in stories.

The fatty Goomba makes me think of a certain scion from Dangan Ronpa, while the Boo is your common shy character, but since she's also in this group I wonder what happened with her.

The Blooper is an enthusiastic lad, while the Koopa seems like a super bitch, lol. And the Shy Guy is a druggie. Not much can be said about the last one since he's under the influence of drugs as far as I can tell. Looking forward to what happened to him.

As for our hero, what is it ? A Magikoopa ? I dunno, maybe I missed it ? It's pretty late, lolz.

Anyway, this goes straight to my favorites.

The chapter title confused me but once I read the entire chapter, I finally understood it lol. I like the fact that there's some concern going on with killing Johnathan since it shows that these guys are not 100% evil. Can't wait to see how it turns out.

This story is really great, I've got to say. The 7 characters are sinners, but likable sinners. The thing about the seven deadly sins is that some are hard to be looked down upon (for me, envy, wrath, pride, and to an extent lust, as they are able to be justified) while others are clearly evil (greed, gluttony, sloth, and to an extent lust). This seems to reflect in your characters for me. I find myself liking Envy, Wrath, and Pride, while I'm not big fans of gluttony, lust, and sloth. Greed is the only exception to this. I'm curious to see who the virtuous are. Maybe a few real characters will be among them! I can't wait for the next chapter to see what our sinners will do!

Great chapter, I will write an actual review once I'm back from camping! Sorry, be right back!

Wow, I'm really enjoying this so far! I'm really interested in what'll happen next; it's amazingly suspenseful!

My favorite character so far would have to be Sloth, just because I'm so curious about what's going on with him. Same with Wrath, but I also like how easygoing Sloth is (most of the time) compared to the others. I am really curious about all of their back stories, too. I wonder what they did that wound up almost putting them in Hell?

I can't wait to see who the seven people who are being targeted are. I wonder if they'll be original characters, too, or maybe canon...

This is absolutely wonderful so far, and I'll be eagerly awaiting the next chapter!

Damn, it's only the second chapter and already they wanna go at each other's throats lol.

My favorite character would have to be Wrath, the Boo, so far because I believe she'll have the most interesting development out of everyone and I'm a big fan of the 'scared and shy' personalities. Plus, her nickname 'Wrath' makes it seem like she's a ticking time bomb ready to explode in actual 'wrath' later on in the story lol.

Yes, awesome update! I am even more excited for this now, since these characters are being developed so very well. I think I'll just go through them one-by-one...

Gluttony: A fat snobby jerk. Interesting how he leads the group at first and then promptly leaves to go on his own. Good writing that proves Lust's observation that on the outside Gluttony appears a sadistic ruler-type, but when thrust into an extended situation (searching for the Virtuous) he shows his true masochism by electing to go off by himself. [Character Ranking #5- Good psychological characterization, the only reason he's ranked so low is just because I'm not generally interested in this type of character...this is ENTIRELY my own problem and bias, he's a perfectly good character]

Wrath: Lust doesn't seem to be thinking about Wrath's name while she's gleefully bullying her. I'm sure that'll come back to bite her in the ass hard, although I'm not sure how much it'll take to push Wrath into becoming...wrathful. I guess if she's stuck with Lust it'll only be a matter of time...[Character Ranking #4- I like this kinda character, the scared and shy to the point of cuteness type. It'll be pretty great when she suddenly goes crazy, too.]

Greed: I think she's the hardest character to read so far...generally she seems to be competing for angriest person along with a few of the other characters. I imagine she'll just need a situation to more easily exemplify her sin (or perhaps a turn at narrating). [Character Ranking #7- She's a bit too blank at this point...there's not too much that separates her from the others yet. As I wrote, though, I think we'll just need a bit more time observing her to get a true grasp on her character.]

Envy: Lust categorizes Envy as the most neutral of the characters on her "-ism Scale", tied with Pride. This might be why I'm finding Envy to be the most likeable character: he doesn't seem to be too antagonistic to anyone (except for a quick jab at Ashely in the first chapter), while everyone else is quick to scream hate at each other. He's also a blooper, which is fun, I don't believe you often see that as a character in any stories. It's perfectly legitimate choice too, since bloopers are shown to be able to talk and traverse land in games like Paper Mario 2. I think I'll need a bit more time to get to know him, I'm sure some more nastiness will be uncovered in time. [Character Ranking #3- The seemingly 'nicest' person here (I know Wrath is going to go batshit soon enough) he's a bit more peaceful than the others and maybe more clearheaded.]

Sloth: Well, maybe Lust is better at judging fake levels of -isms than I am, but I'm feeling a LOT of sadist vibes from Sloth. He explodes in anger more easily than anyone else and when he doesn't have a phone, he apparently goes and violently robs his upstairs neighbor(s). He also has a collection of creepy masks (so creepy they even disturb our sinners) which sounds like a symptom of psychopathy. He seems like he'll be quite a fun character. [Character Ranking: #1- Has the most variety out of any of the characters so far, and seems like he'll be colorfully unpleasant]

Pride: Our narrator from the first chapter, also known as Ashley. So far I feel like he's a male version of Greed, just being generally angry. I'll need a bit more time to judge him. [Character Ranking #6- The name stuff is fun, but as I wrote, he's a bit of a blank slate so far. I'm sure he'll rise higher if I do another list later on.]

Lust: Our narrator for this chapter, Lust is strangely distant from her title. Unlike the other characters she's shown pretty much no penchant for it and she even states that she does not enjoy "physical contact or social interaction". She does enjoy abusing the other characters, though (same as most of them) although she has a special...er, affection for Wrath. She seems like fun as well. [Character Ranking #2- Mean with a purpose, her narration has more fun depth than Pride's did, I feel.]

Whoa...that was a lot...but with great works there's a lot to think and write about! I eagerly look forward to the next chapter!

Wow, this is definitely an original story! I love stories that revolved around religion, especially if they're dark ones like this! I like how everyone's personalities is already distinguishable though the main character is a total brat, heh. I'll be looking forward to this!