This is absolutely brilliant. You did an excellent job writing this loop, and it isn't until you make it to the very end that all the pieces fall into place. Marvelous.

I enjoy both time travel, an well done second person POV!

Nice, I've got a soft spot for depressing time-loops and OH boy was this one. I loved the repeated passage that signified each loop, twas the good shit.

Holy shit, I was not expecting that.

... You intend to leave it unresolved? Just imply that corvo keeps looping until he discovers a way to keep Jessamine, Emily, Daud, and himself alive?

Man I love this. Writing it the way you did just makes it better. The constant repeat of the beginning and how different emotions affect how it’s done. From going on a warpath to trying to prevent it before it even starts. All of the paths led to the same outcome but they were all so much fun to read especially as each one took a mental toll on him.

An odd one, but I want to hope Corvo manages in the his state of mind after is... yeah. Thank you for sharing your story.

A haunting look at Corvo's mind-set that can either be read as a tragic time-loop or a guilty ridden man obsessing over his greatest failure. Either way I look at it this is a well crafted story that made me truly feel the weight of Corvo's emotions and it has left me cold. Well done!

Wow.

This was amazing.

I usually dislike the 2nd person POV, simply because it seems odd and is almost as lazy as using first person. However, the was this was written, the repetition, the desperation, the reveal of whose point of view it was written from, was masterfully done.

The page breaks of (YOU CANNOT SAVE HER) are a bit odd at first, one of the things I dislike the most in fanfiction is when people write "flashback!" or "thisisapagebreak" instead of using actual page breaks. But it wasn't too distracting, and it did add to the whole experience of reading the story. I read it as the embodiment of Corvo's desperation and hopelessness after each failure right before or after he awakens again to start again. You could have started out the page breaks as small, "you cannot save her," in italics as if it was a whisper, but after each failure it would grow (bold, capital letters, repeated) to add a bit more affect to the growing desperation Corvo feels. (of course, you wrote this 18 months ago, I doubt you would want constructive criticism now)

I also like how the Outsider doesn't play favorites between Corvo and Daud, and doesn't abandon Daud to Corvo's mercy after the deal was struck, 2 lives for 2 lives. I love how Corvo almost succeeded in saving both Emily and Jessamine by going on a killing spree and murdering anyone that posed a threat to them, only to be pulled back once more to repeat the day with an added stipulation from the Outsider.

The way you wrote the passage of days was brilliantly vague, how the reader can't really tell how many days passed, but the reader assumes it has been hundreds just from how Corvo reacts every time he awoke. I almost wish there was a scene that showed just how mentally exhausted Corvo was from the days on end of repeatedly seeing the people he cares about die, and another scene (after the one where Emily is killed) where he gives both Emily and Jessamine a hug with tears in his eyes as he's run through the back by Daud. That would have made this fic all the more delicious. Of course, the way that Corvo spearheads all these different ideas to save both of them, and the way he doesn't let too much emotion (besides desperation) to cloud the way he handles the situation is very much in character. Also the length is just right, not too short that the reader is left with too many questions and not too long that it answers all of them.

I don't know what else to say besides this is a gem of fan-fiction, hidden in a relatively small fandom, and I am so glad I found it.

Overall, well done. By my personal opinion, it's the best story of the fandom. Well written, well crafted, a story well told. Thanks for writing this frankly awesome piece of fan-fiction. I hope you keep writing.

This story is disgustingly underrated.
It's a brilliant read, the best in this fandom and one of the best on this site, in my opinion. You didn't give us all the information right away; I took a while to realise the narrator was the Outsider. I absolutely love your writing style, just from this relatively small sample, you have impeccable English and everything flows together in a way that just feels right. Corvo reacted in ways that I feel we're realistic and the Outsider is just as I perceive him/it to be too.
All in all, this is a fantastic one-shot.

This, this was good. I loved it, the ending was great but I wish in the end he saved them. Though we can't always have a happy ending.

Regards Prince

Ouch. I mean, it was awesome, in character, and very well written, but still...Ouch. Poor Corvo.

Duuuuuuude...that was deep. Cool

I love it! Wonderfully written :D

*sigh* I've always wanted a fic like this, where Corvo tries every tactic in the book to save Jessamine. From a logical start(asking Curnow for a squad of guards) to desperate fury(slaughtering everything in his way).

I have a question though, what happened when Corvo fell asleep by Jessamine's door? Why did it say that he could not save her?

Great story! I loved it.