Reviews for Lust Unleashed |
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Guest chapter 1 . 7/9/2019 female Kisame, female Kisame, female Kisame! Shark Queen, Shark Queen, Shark Queen! |
Monster King chapter 3 . 3/19/2019 Shame you stopped writing the story |
gabelou1991 chapter 3 . 6/5/2018 Tu ne les mettre plus la d'image. |
ultrachols chapter 1 . 5/31/2018 , |
RockRoll chapter 3 . 3/22/2018 Well story is amazing I'm glad I found it your writing style is amazing Waiting for another part |
sinedd662 chapter 3 . 12/9/2017 hi |
Charcoal wolf chapter 1 . 7/17/2017 Really good story hope to see it updated more often |
Stratos263 chapter 1 . 5/18/2017 Good job on the start |
spanky1988.aw chapter 3 . 5/16/2017 Can't wait for chapter 4! |
Astroman1000 chapter 3 . 4/20/2017 Thx for telling us so I'm off to ao3. Thx ;) |
Astroman1000 chapter 1 . 4/20/2017 So here's the issue, love me some smut, really I do, but bro, your writing isn't exactly... top notch. This is a super typical problem in that you literally tell us every little thing that happens and what moves the plot forward. You need more dialogue. The opening paragraphs are basically a case study for it. Another way of thinking about it is try to write how manga or anime tells a story. Make sense? In a manga or anime all we really get are the environment, that we see with our eyes this no one needs to tell us about it, and dialogue, but the story still moves forward. The only time we get exposition (literally telling people things like you do) is for crucial world building info like Sakura's funny little scrolls in the beginning of the manga or Mirajane using Reedus' light pen to write out how magical governing works. So, love me some smut, love even more some well written smut. So hear me out. If you want I'll pl you my personal email and we could work on the story together, kind of like a beta but like im telling you how things work. Sound good? You don't have to and to be completely honest I'll probably keep reading this even if you don't. I just wanna help. Thx ;) |
MADDOG789 chapter 3 . 4/17/2017 Okay I really want the story where can I go and read it if not on fanfiction |
SPark681 chapter 3 . 4/17/2017 Nice story so far can't wait to see more anyways keep up the great work! |
Logan chapter 3 . 4/17/2017 What's FB? |
king69 chapter 1 . 4/6/2017 Amazing chapter |