Stories aren't allowed to be posted in chat or script form. (ie. John: no. James: well haven't you tried?) I suggest changing it into a story format before an admin deletes it.

Oh... The best part and the sad part is that it's so true. I used to work in a video store and I could actually place nearly every statement as being one I'd either made or heard or being fairly close to it.

Very Clever! Nice job! LOL!

LOL!

Very good. Someone should make a short out of this.

I Thought this screenplay was very clever. It isn't any longer than it should be, and the character of the Clerk was very colorful. One of the better short screenplays i've read lately. Keep up the good work!

Wow that was really good.
I think you really got the atmosphere in- which can be hard with screen plays- but you still kept it simple.
I liked the ending and I thought you rounded everything off really well...
One thing though, it's better to, when some ones speaking, put there name like this
James- Then type what they say here.
Othere wise I thought your plot was great and you really should write scripts or something like that!
Kuddles

Wow, I thoroughly enjoyed this! It flowed wonderfully and was much more professional than half of the 'screenplays' on here. It would make a wonderful short film...you should look into that.

I enjoyed this, because girls do tend to pick out the weird movies. But without us, those movies wouldn't get any play at all! We're doing moviemakers a favor. It was funny and the length was perfect. I commend you for a job well done. Keep up the good work. Just, next time, make the guy a victim, ok? Keep it balanced out.

Very clever work it reminded me of some of the fights over movies with my friends. Dialogue is clever though some spots sound too scripted especially in the scene transitions (from the movie fight to the clerk). The clerk was hilarious and so true! The only other comment I have is on the script format (skip if you like its actually a small optional thing) don't put in the characters feelings unless it is absolutly important. For example you use incensed, calling, and coldly, these things are usually left up to the director unless a particular emotion has to be shown on screen because it moves the story along, otherwise just leave it out. Thanks for the entrtaining story.

Cody Fitch

Factor Films

The dialogue flowed very well.

Funny characters, good descriptions.

All good!

It's just the layout that still needs some work.

If you are really into scripts you could try

There, you can have your script properly layed out in a HTML document you can put up here again...

Right on! This is a great screenplay; I love doing the whole clerk thing to people. Telling them all the facts about a movie that they obviously know nothing about, and watching their growing disgruntlement with me and my overwhelming knowledge of all things film. :)

Great stuff!

that was cute and refreshing.. i really lykd it and thought it was good... -kt