I thought this was lovely. I can tell you’ve put a lot of work and this was a sweet story, made me smile especially during hard times like this crazy pandemic :) I’ve read some reviews, just remember that you are writing fanfiction and not getting paid to do this and the best way to get better is to keep writing. I will check out more stories from you. Lots of love!

This is a very different story and interesting.

BUT

Your VERY BAD grammar is simply too much to put up with.

You should withdraw this until you find a beta.

TWINS!

Let us hope triplets are not next!

Sometimes one at a time is best.

Thanks for writing!

Done!
Well Done!

Congratulations and thank you.

So Jareth can be unexpectedly contrary too!
Nice plot twist!

Sarah is decended from the spirit of the Labyrinth!

Nice!

I have read stories where she is Titania's great grand daughter, where magic gives her kingdom of her own, where she becomes Mistress of the Labyrinth.

Great idea.

Congratulations!

The Labyrinth is a great movie.
But it has a very limited cast of characters.
The worm, Hoggle, and the rest are wonderful but the only real pairing is Jareth and Sarah.
Some crossovers address this, I know of one where Willow Rosenberg from Buffy the Vampire Slayer ends up being Queen.

You have done a great job of adding more Fae to your story.
But it still seems to be a JS fic, not that I really mind.

Many people are bi-sexual to some degree.
I think most are 90% straight, maybe a bit more, for various reasons.
But some are 70% or so and just need to find someone to experiment with.

Sarah is presented as a teenager, if she can find a non human attractive she might find other girls attractive as well.

This really opens up the possible crossover pairings, Sarah Williams and Ginny Weasley anyone? It has never been written. You can make history!

Hmm...
You got rid of the bog!
I think the only change it needed was the eternal bit.
Stinking for a decade, century, or millennium isn't a bad punishment, especially if no one else can smell it!

Sarah's birth mother died in a car crash?
AND
You had her father and step mother die in another crash?!

You lose a point for being repetitive.

Falling down the stairs
Food poisoning
Drinking herself to death
Murdered for her purse
...
There are so many ways to get rid of a character...

You get points for the spirit of the Labyrinth.

While I generally don't like character death, except for the ones like Severus Snape, your method of forcing Sarah back Underground is unusual.

Very sweet story. Thanks for sharing.

Loved it.

I loved this! I was laughing and crying at the same time! Keep up the great writing!

Good story!

Oh my lord I love it! I've been searching for a story where they have kids! You captured everything BEAUTIFULLY! I haven't found a better one yet.