beautifully painful

So much for a chapter a week . Hope you pick this up again someday...

If possible could you write and upload the next chapter.

Thanks in advance

-MARK A HEFFRON

Interesting start.

I really really hope you come back to this story...

awwww, what sweet! I already love it! I hope college goes well and that you can update soon again.
Berend

omg. this story sound so sadddd :( im looking forward to it still!

Cool chapter

Harry is going to die at the end, just getting in a preliminary guess.
This looks interesting. Will be watching to see the rest.

good story though i cannot seem to understand where your coming from with harry being so cold and ready to take the abuse maybe a chapter showing where he gets like that would help.

First and foremost. If you want to rewrite it then do so. As an author of fanfiction you need to look out for your own enjoyment and creativity foremost.
On one side it's important to learn to let things go and not be too focused on making everything perfect. However in this instance I think that if you feel it is important to you, as you say, then you should just go ahead with it.
You said you already started with it, so that's clear enough that you want to invest your energy in a rewrite. You don't need to ask for permissions from us readers, just go for it. :)

For my personal opinion of the story I think you have quite a lot of promise in the premise and the narrative. But I also think the story is quite incoherent and has conflicting themes (as I have commented on before in a review), so I think you are absolutely right in wanting to improve on it before going forward.

I'll also reiterate that I think you can gain a lot by using a beta reader. To correct mistakes but also to gain clarity and consistency in the narrative flow. I'm still available if you want, there's also others that you can seek on this site.

I also see that you improved your summary, well done on that! I like the new one a lot more.

I'd love to see where you take this story with a rewrite.

I personally think you should rewrite the whole thing. This had started it showed a reserved Harry Potter, and that is fine. It showed him keeping his emotions to himself, that is okay. But when you pretty much turn him into the school bitch that is where I draw the line. Not only is how you are doing, not trying to be offensive but honestly, outright stupid since it implies that he has been continously attacked for months and not only has nobody noticed but he has been able to function like nothing was wrong. I don't care that he is a wizard and is using healing spells, Harry is still only human and that kind if cumulative damage would have killed him a long time ago given his condition you gave him. And that is another thing, you seriously expect us to believe that the people in charge KNOW he is being overtaken by the horcrux and they just continue to let him go on like nothing happened? Seriously?

Look I am not trying to insult you, honestly I am not. In fact I believe that this story has a lot of potential to be great, but in trying to isolate him and put him in a bad spot you have gone severely overboard and gone from tragic but believable to bull crap angst. I am not saying don't have them attack him, but there comes a time when enough and right now, as you have wrritten it, Harry has long since reached the point where he should have snapped and either fight back or slit his wrists in the bathtub. Like I said, you and this story have potential but as is, there is now realistic way for this to progress with resorting to Gary Stu, Deus Ex Machina bullcrap. Not to mention the Fleur pairing being even more impossible since by you're own writting,he is more liable to kill her than he is to let her help him.

Please get back to me and tell me you're thoughts on this. I repeat, no matter how it sounds, I AM NOT BASHING YOU!

This is an interesting storyline, and I'd love to see where you go with it.

Move forward please.