I hate you so much.
That was so, so tragically beautiful. The flashbacks were perfect. The pacing and dialogue and mood were perfect. Bill was /ridiculously/ perfect. And now I'm really really sad, but I still love it. My favorite parts are definitely the flashbacks, and the way you build up the joy and then tear it all away is just heartbreaking.

Oh my gosh, so sad...
The mix of real-time and flash-backs throughout the story went well together. I think it helped the pacing and the tone, as well as to show how Bill felt the situation. It really drove it home, too.
The last paragraph surprised me, though. I had been so sure that you were talking about Fleur, so Dominique answering about her mother coming into the room left me confused - until I read the last sentence. Whether or not you planned that revelation from the spot, I found your surprise reveal at the end to be quite masterful.

I legitimately thought it was Fleur dying until the end xD That was a really nice plot twist - because looking back to the flashbacks, they do center more around Victoire than Fleur. I really like the juxtaposition of the happy, lighthearted flashbacks with the darkness and angst of the present sections; it was a really nice contrast. The angst in this was done really well, also - you did a really good job communicating Bill's feelings of sadness and heartbreak to the reader.

I like the way you contrasted Victoire and Dominique, also - I like the idea of them being very different from one another as well.

'They're Weasleys. Will they ever be quiet?' - Haha, that was cute; probably my favorite line out of the piece.

Omigosh. That was sad! Although I read the whole story thinking Fleur was the one who was dying :P I had to read the last few sentences a couple of times to make sure I was reading them right. Either way, this was written beautifully and I didn't see any errors, so that's good. I'd say you did a great job!

Oh my... When i first started reading this, i thought it was Fleur, so I was almost sure you had made a mistake when I got to the last paragraph, only to then read the AN. This is really emotional, and I really liked it and think it was very well executed. I liked the line 'her life slowly wilting away like a flower petal in the sun.' very nice descriptive words.
I only have one complaint, and that is that it doesn't seem very likely to me that Fleur would leave her daughters bedside, but maybe that's just me. Other than that, good job! :)

Oh the feels, right in my heart. How could you do that? Watching your loved one lay there but know they're not really there. They're actually dead, not even just sleeping. I do hope she had no pain either Bill. Oh these feels won't go away. Damn these onions. Good job.

I really thought it was Fleur in the hospital bed at first, until right at the end. I actually have tears in my eyes reading this. Poor poor Bill, I can imagine how heart-breaking it would be to lose a child.
This story was well written, and so sad, and so beautiful. I've always had a soft spot for Bill!

... I... this... AAH, this was cruel! *cuddles into blanket*
The story alone was great, I had goosebumps all the way through it then the end - Until the very last moment I thought that it was Fleur dying!
Your display of Bill's feelings is magnicifent, I was literally feeling his sadness and fear that he would loose her any second.
And then the memory snippets - they were so open that I did not expect that it was actually Victoire - which makes it even sadder for (in my opinion) because a childs death is always just a little edge more of sadness!
Another great oneshot, really sad, but wonderfully written nonetheless! I saw no errors and again, a great writing style!

This hit me right in the gut :( dear lord this is so sad. I kinda got the impression half way through that it might not be Fleur, but it still killed me when I got to the end.

Overall, this is really well written, and the grief rolling off Bill can be felt through my iPad screen. You write the best family fics I've ever read, especially when a Weasley is involved.

You're perfect :)

Eek! So I scrolled down to write my review, but I hadn't finished reading yet! Talk about a spoiler alert in your ending a/n! LOL. Very sneaky of you to create ambiguity about whether it was Fleur or not who'd fallen ill. But, the ambiguity allowed you to demonstrate how fiercely Bill loved Victoire (by using the assumption of his love for Fleur in comparison), so lots of finger-snaps to you.

"Dominique was a Weasley through and through. From the colour of her hair[...]" I think these sentence fragments would flow together better if you omitted the period. Perhaps a comma could replace the period, but I am not sure if that would be grammatically correct.

"That it is the enchantments in this room keeping her alive." / "You have to stay quieter." The wording of these sentences seem a bit awkward.

SAT prep knowledge time! "He had sent them home, urging [...], and telling[...]" Since this is listing three verbs in succession, they should all be in the same tense. "had sent" is the pluperfect form and so "urging/telling" should be re-conjugated to be "urged/told". However, this modification then changes the meaning of your sentence, so I think personally it's your call whether to alter the verbs so they do or do not agree.

I'm really impressed that you managed to create a selective background for this branch of the Weasley family. By this, I mean you have given the audience insight on Bill's memories of his interactions with a younger Victoire, but you have still evaded the "why is Victoire in the hospital?". I don't think adding in definite reasoning would be beneficial to the one-shot - if anything, it would make the one-shot more linear and less-emotive which would contradict the one-shot's original pathos - but I am curious about why you personally chose to have these characters in this situation.

As always, you craft a strong sense of familial love. :)

xoxo wouldtheywriteasongforyou

I wondered about 18 years? Thanks for writing. But too too sad.

Very sad, very well written but thankfully probably not most people's 'head canon' and not mine either. But well done nevertheless and fitted to the terms of the challenge it was written for.
Many Blessings.
Oriondryuid, (John).

It was sad and powerful... :(
I realised it could be Victoire rather than Fleaur when the flashbacks seemed to feature her as the main character. Still it was a good use of the decoy.
:)