Cute

Nice.

I think you meant "a bit early" not "a big early".
Other than that, I thought this was really sweet :) it was all soft edges and nicely paced plot, with some showing of Draco's inner self that was sublime to read :) you leave just the right amount to the reader's imagination and I thank you for it :)

Aw, this is for me? Thank you so much! :D I did like it. I was amused by Draco's favourite colour slowing morphing into Harry's eye colour, hehe. And it was great when he convinced Draco to come back to school. One of my fav bits was when Draco couldn't look Hermione in the eye. And I liked the ending a lot ;)

I wouldn't have thought that this was your first story with this pair, it's so well done! You should do Drarry more often!

Well you start the story with a sentence that doesn't end in a period. Not a good start. I'd advise finding a beta to streamline work and catch even the not blatantly obvious mistakes. And a few sentences in, you are missing possessive apostrophes. Enemies is not plural, and even if it were, it would be possessive.

Sorry in advance for the long review, but I hope you read through it and take some of what I said into consideration. I don't review works unless I want to offer advice, or if I truly enjoyed it. In this one, I intend to offer advice.

It is genuinely hard to read - let alone enjoy - a work that is not gramatically edited or spellchecked. Missing bits is one thing, but not even glancing over - as you clearly have done - is just insulting to the work. And blatantly disregarding the guidelines, which you accepted prior to posting this story; they do quite simply state that proofreading work is mandatory for quality on the site.

Moving on to the content, the story lacks sense, structure, flow, and reason. I understand you're trying to fit into ideas for the competitions you enter in, but you should allow yourself to feel the inspiration, not force and compact things and characters just because you want to win. It loses the art. Writing is art, it's wrong to degrade it.

Furthermore, blatantly stealing titling and introductory ideas, as you have done with this story, is just uncalled for. I'm not going to name anything particular, but this is quite obviously in the direct manner of another story that was recently written by an author on FF within the same genres. Stealing is dumb in the realm of writing; all authors learn from one another, but even in a world of fanfiction, you should respect creative freedom and strive to be different.

Again in this story, you make your characters into objects. You try to explain that Harry lets Draco insult him, but it is senseless. It is out of character. It's unexplained and it leaves Harry feeling more like an object than a person. There is no emotional involvement, and since this is from a sort of Draco-inflected third person, there should *be* emotion. You should be able to feel his affection and slow warming. You can't. It feels like Harry is as good as a coffee pot.

You make their relationship sound creepy. Not much more to say there. He verbally abuses Harry (who dealt with that enough through childhood that he should not, as a healthy individual, be acceptable toward it in adulthood) and offers no apology.

Harry visits someone who expresses distastes for his company? Why? Harry was a polite, and rather private, person in the canonical universe. Why change that? Silly. Unnecessary for a relationship. Forcing characters into unreal situations and molds.

It is creepy that their relationship revolves around the idea of Draco *should* have done this or that. Let alone, he *should* have relied on Harry? The psychological warp of that is just discomforting to read. There is no balance or mindfulness. The characters are pretty much sick, and the tone of the story doesn't address that at all. Unless the intent was a lack of realism, which I did not catch. In which case, perhaps try to reflect that in the tone of the narrative.

Hermione was prideful and unforgiving in canon, as repeatedly expressed through the series. You write her as weirdly and out-of-placedly ignorant of that. They are not far past enough that she would want to coddle him. He bullied her for years, even into his older teens. Calling her the equivalent of racist terms - a mudblood clearly meant to represent the terms used toward black people during civil rights movements - and bullying her for her looks, family, and everything in between. Extremely unrealistic, and again, unhealthy for her to not even bother acknowledging it. It's uncomfortable to read. It leaves an odd sort of feel to Hermione, as if she has no self esteem or sense of worth. Even side characters shouldn't behave so sickly. It is unsettling to the reader.

All that said, there was a major - and I do mean major - improvement toward the end. Their dialogue was actually a huge relief to read, even bringing a smile to my face and making me laugh a little. You lose it a bit - the scene was unlikely and unreal but by this point I was accepting the lack of realism to the story - and then you lose it entirely upon the two hopping into bed with each other.

It was unnecessary, forced, and again discomforting. You were doing well though, your dialogue is a strong point for you, which is good. Most of all, it is great that you don't rely on your strongpoints. You step out of your comfort zone and try other things. That's a good way to improve.

I'm sorry for the bluntness of my review, if it comes across that way. I'm a rather honest person but I am trying to help where I can. I don't mean ill, and I hope you are able to implement what I said to improve your writing.

Best of luck. :)

Awwww! I love this! When Draco asked if Harry was trying to seduce him a little voice in my head replied "Yessss" and I started laughing. My dad thinks I'm insane. -Cat.

Aww, Draco is getting by just fine with Harry. I like the accidental figuring out of Harry's plan by Draco.

This was quite cute.

Liza, I think you made me like Drarry. Even though I thought I only liked Draco paired with Luna.

The end was amazing! And I adored how you kept Draco in character, yet still made him likeable! :)

You asked me to let you know what I think, I think you should continue the story…maybe flesh out the front bit a little? I don't know, editing isn't something I am good at.

wow! this was so cool n sweet :) i love this pairing and specially draco lol. could you do me a favour and read my fanfic the story of bella riddle! thx!