I see that you revised this entire story. It's much more clear than I last remembered. Good job. Anyone else who reads this story, it is rather interesting. I'll see if I can recommend this to someone.

I was so happy, then I saw this, it's Heresy I say... Heresy! To the Warp with the Beta Readers, you do not need them to serve the Emperor! :c

I'll have to agree with wtdtd about this; the story and characters have become "batshit crazy", to use his expression. I know you have your reasons for doing this, but WH40k and GuP don't go all that well together, and this chapter only further hammered home the point for me.

i don't like the direction you are going with this fic. In the beginning it had one changed element, and it would be fun to see how it would change things throughout the story compared to the original, but now you have everyone going batshit crazy. This might be warhammer, but i doubt it is much of Girls und Panzer.

I read the description stopped when i read the word chomping on a cigar...and proceeded...best descrpition every.

Incoming transmission, Adeptus Astartes chapter Dark Angels, Segmentum Obscurus
Lord Inquisitor,

Your message has come to my attention. Worry not, your writing is sound and free of Warp taint. I myself have checked so. Your schedule sounds proper, as only an Inquisitor can manage. The Emperor protects.

Captain Veriches,
Dark Angels Chapter, Adeptus Astartes
End Transmission
Thought for the Day: To admit defeat is to blaspheme against the Emperor.

I may have said this before, but Miho seems a bit too quick-tempered and rude. She's significantly stronger and more determined than many give her credit for, and is composed enough to remain polite even with mostly unpleasant people.

I largely made my points about Maho in the previous review, but to sum it up, it should be "Maho (makes) sacrifices FOR Miho." Again, it also seems overly callous for Maho to throw the injured girls off the team, considering that Koume, one of the girls Miho saved, is still on the team in Girls und Panzer.

Saori and Mako seem to be at each other's throats a bit more than is canon. Saori does complain about Mako's tardiness and laziness, while Mako does sometimes snark at Saori, but they help each other when it counts, and Saori accompanies Mako when she goes to see her grandmother. Saori and Miho are also more at odds with each other, to the point at which they seem less like a group of friends and more like a group that barely tolerates each other. Fanfic authors tend to downplay the bonds between the team, often so that they can have Miho closer to the OC they pair with her (among other reasons), and I've noticed that this fic seems to fall into that trap, albeit not for the same reasons as many other fics.

Anzu seems more aggressive than is characteristic of her, as drakenis said. She's calm all the time, and her reaction to an extreme situation is to shift from a jovial devil-may-care attitude to dead seriousness. Perhaps we'd see the latter more here, but we wouldn't see her behave like this very much.

As for the characters in general, unfortunately, I'm going to have to concur with "Simon" on this, although I wouldn't put it as bluntly. The characters don't seem very much like their canon selves, or even what might be expected of them in the setting.

For an example of what you should be shooting for, I'll bring up the Heimatfront series, which is Girls und Panzer in a World War II AU, with some references to the canon series; for example, Maria meets Simone and Hanna over lunch. In that story, there are some differences in Maria's reaction compared to Miho's; Maria is slightly more cautious about befriending Simone and Hanna, especially since she's not entirely sure whether she can trust them in Nazi Germany, in which people rat on each other. And while Maria does go along with Anja's plan to do what they can to help out by fighting in their tanks, she's never as certain about her decision or enthusiastic about her involvement as she becomes in canon, an attitude befitting the decision to fight on the losing side of history's bloodiest war.

It's interesting to show the injuries that the crew Miho saved suffered, although Koume seemed largely fine when we saw her, and in the manga, the crew member Miho was dragging to safety didn't seem all that badly hurt.

It's understandable that real life can get in the way, and I can respect that you want to post work that you're satisfied with, but ideally, you should stick with a somewhat regular and consistent update schedule; it's better to have one chapter every month rather than having the first few chapters in the space of several days and the seventh chapter after a few months. If you stop updating for a long period of time- whether in general or in comparison to your other updates- some readers may lose interest and stop checking.

That's all for now. I'll let you know if I think of anything else, but, as I said earlier, characterization is the main issue here.

it lives and IT IS GLORIOUS I honestly cant wait to see what will come next

CREEEEEED!

Japan is an Empire so it should have an Emperor. Although the cult of the Emperor was supressed after WWII, Miho could be from a militarist family which astill adhered to the Imperial CUlt?
Borys

Answer to your question?

No. Not even close.

Been waiting for this one Inquisitor, just hoping we can get into the actual battles soon.

Also, do you see any possibility of Leman Russ tanks appearing in Ooari's tank force?

I'd not say the characterisation is wrong precisely - it's not quite as in canon but the circumstances aren't quite as in canon in some cases, so reactions _should_ vary.
Anzu's being rather more aggressive than in canon.

don't know that much about the anime but it seems like they are pretty much all in character.
maybe miho is a little 'off' but after a little creed-exposure, eh it's to be expected.

Breakfast cooking scene - LOL!
Go Yukari!
As amusing as the Saori-Mako abuse was, IMO a bit OOC.
I like it how you try to find any sort of logic to some of the WTF moments of the series, like the VP washing the tank in her bathing suit.
Fist of Tyrrany. Love it. Sooooo WH40K! Reminds me of me BFG playing days.
Yukari poping out to spew knowledge - such a darling nerd. I was like that once ...
Steel, not iron hulls.
Thank you for giving me a couple of hours entertainment.
Borys