Damn, I WISH this story hadn't been discontinued! I like the premise.

Stop creating a new paragraph after everything. You don't need to do that, just when it's a new thought.

And I'm feeling you're going to make amethyst fall in love with Edmund. Baka...

Errors:

The Centipeedle in Gem Glow didn't destroy the town.

Looks like Clarissa will be having second thoughts about helping the mayor. This legal dispute is already hilarious! Can't wait to see more!

I can't wait to see more weirdness. (Just a point, the Gems could probably get away with the ocean bit, since Lapis Lazuli was the one to steal it)

Hmmm...I'm not too sure how I feel about this...I like the premise of it all and how Steven is all delusional of the real world, but that last part with Mayor Dewey is kind of throwing me off. It sounds way too dark for Steven Universe.

I'm gonna keep reading to see where you're going with this all. Keep up the good work! *thumbs up*

Oh, and if you don't mind, you should take a look at my Steven Universe FanFic, "A Starry Dawn"

Wow, that is dark. Now the Crystal Gems really are wanted. I wonder how this will take, excellent chapter by the way. :)