Goddammit. And my day was going pretty good.

This is a good foundation. You're good with grammar and have solid idea. Since you wanted a few of my suggestions, they would be: work on giving more imagery of the environment, format your text and chapters with a little more care, and try to write a bit more in-character (try thinking like you're the character before writing their dialogue). Just focus on those, and I'm certain you could write some amazing stuff :)