the next day she died the end

To fucking cringe

I'm not sure what it is, but I think you should look into finding a beta reader to edit your stories. The content is really good, and the story line itself is solid, but some of the grammar, punctuation, and phrasing makes me think that English isn't your first language. I know a lot of the weird rules for English don't apply in most languages. That's ok, English is hard, and kuddos to you for learning it, but message me and I'd be happy to help refine your skills and edit out the crazy stuff. (I sure as hell could never grasp a second language, and sometimes I wonder if I've really got this first one.)

Other than that I really enjoyed it. Funny enough I was rolling through the series again and as I came across your little story, this episode was on in the background. I definitely think this is a viable contender for that happened during those long nights in the cabin. Congrats.

my only bad thought is that I don't think Asuna would cuss. But, besides that, I think it was amazing. This is my first fan fiction and I'm a fan of SAO. you have opened my eyes to the world of writing and have inspired me to think of some ideas for fan fiction myself. thank you.

that was great!

That was Sooooooo beautiful!
Keep up the good, no, unbelievably awesome work! ;)

SAO Fan.

best kirosuna smut wow 10/10

omg this is allsome can u make more to add to this like have asuna some how have a kid

Geez this story was great!
I've read the ominous chapter 16.5 from the light novel which was about their big night as well and i gotta say: This story is as good as the original one :)

Good job :) I would love to read more of your SAO-Stories :)

great job m9 expecting more now!

All rights then. Descriptive is all I have to say about this.

Oh My God